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Rantings of an SBM


It has been a CRAZY ass week.  So you know I got plenty to get off my chest.

  • This f*cking site is giving me an ulcer.  The amount of time I am spending in the comments section, in addition to the sleep I rob myself updating and running this one man show is stressing me the f*ck out.  If anyone … anywhere … is interested in helping, collaborating, something … let me know.  The email is [email protected]t and I’m open to whatever right now.
  • On Wednesday I had a post called “Something New” and by a sheer coincidence Black Femme Fatale had a similar post by the name of “Something new? Who knew?”.  One of the people I love to hate the most accused me of stealing the topic and then refusing to link to it.  Well, thats not true, the movie was popular, and it was really just a coincidence.  Needed to set that straight.  I’m not blog jacker!
  • I flirted with the idea of closing the site down.  I do everything here myself and hold down a demanding 9 to 5 (5 if I’m lucky) on top of it.  This is a lot of work and its gotten bigger than I thought.  I am dedicated to keeping this up and running, but don’t be mad if I’m not in the comments section as much as you would like.
  • We are all f*cking adults here.  Why is it that people expect me to come and police sh*t all the time?  This isn’t the streets and no one has a gun.  I would like to think we as adult black people could get along on a blog.  Its done elsewhere … why not here.
  • Since motherf*ckers can’t get along though … there is now a “The Rules” page that will outline my rules.  Its open for suggestions  … but what is up there goes.  I’ve been a real pussy about blocking people and stuff … but that sh*t is done with.  I don’t care if the comments dry up, I don’t care if you and your mama get mad … I just don’t care.  I didn’t start this site to display the hostility and drama in our community … I came with a much higher purpose.  Motherf*ckers act up … motherf*ckers getting blocked.
  • Me and my girl broke up.  This site is not the sole reason … but a big one.  Forgive me if I hate all of you for helping to run off the person I love (yes … I love this chic).  It really wansn’t meant to be, we rushed into things without acknowledging how different we were … but my kids and grandkids will hear her name and how she ushered in a new “I can change” era in my life.  This woman has forced me to do better … and for that I really do thank her (although she hates me).  So … as soft, punk bitch, and simpish it sounds … I still love you.
  • I think I really formed an ulcer today.  Someone told me they had one at my age last night.  I now am officially worried about my health.
  • I am really never ever telling someone I date about this site.  Also, if you do have a blog and a woman … make sure their is a clear line drawn between the two that is well understood.  And don’t let one mad n*gga go f*cking up your situation.  I hope the one “mad person” here heeds my talk to him and does the right thing.
  • I don’t even know if I’ll read the comments today.  I think I got bigger things to worry about.
See Also:  Rantings of an SBM

Rant if you want … I don’t give f*ck.  Read “The Rules” and don’t get your ass banned … in a bad mood and work is getting out of control.  Be happy people … stop all this bullsh*t.

Oh … and to the readers that don’t read the comments … your the smart ones!


  1. I agree with the comeback girl, besides, I can't help but read the comments, it helps accentuate the posts! Go get your girl though homie, its cheaper to keep her!

  2. Aww, SBM, I'm sorry to hear about your women, I've been reading a while, but don't really post comments. I hope you guys can sort it out. Love as you know doesn't come easy, think y'all will get back together?

  3. I sorry SBM. I feel as though everything will work out. If it was meant to be she will turn around you will grow a little and possibly the two of you will live happily ever after. Ibelieve it. Damn I am one positive lady. Anyway, if you wanna hear how my week was sbm..check out my rants..might make for a good healthy laugh. http://www.blackfemmefatale.wordpress.com

    I hope you have a good day!

  4. Sbm: we aren't mad at BFF..we were just pointing out that we posted the same topic the day before with a pingback to you for your goldiggers piece. But seeing as though you've had many ups and downs this week I can possibly see why there was an oversight. No love lost.don't be mean to "the person you hate" I think they were jus stating some facts as they appeared. Again, have a great day!

  5. Honestly, we probably shouldn't be together. There are several big differences between us but I think I can sum it up best as she's a little bit country and I'm a little bit of rock n roll.

    I guess my problem is she actually hates me now. Something about that chills me to my bone.

  6. Ok my rant for today…..

    1. I have no idea what happen while I was away and its really not important But damn I hate not knowing shit!!!

    2. I have learned its a good idea to ignore people you really don't like everyone should try it.

    thats it i guess….

    sbm I really hope you don't go getting all ulcer'd up on us just go have a drink and sit on the balcony and look at the water for a little while its very calming.

  7. Well Dayum! I thought I had some rants for the week.

    @SBM – follow your heart. If you love this woman and she makes you happy (through all your differences), then you need to do whatever it takes to keep the relationship and maintain it so that it's healthy for both of you. The "dislike" she has for you right now is temporary. It will eventually fade.

    Okay… My Rants:

    1. I'm so fudging ticked that I had to pay $600 in car repairs on a one year old vehicle! Wooosah.

    2. I'm spending too much money. Paying for the BF's birthday party and not having any help outside of my friends and his mother. And the $500 I've already spent on home decor, alcohol, custom made cake and food does not include the Ruth Chris dinner he's also getting! I'm too nice at times.

    3. WTH is wrong with the DC metro area drivers. It's like merging correctly is non-existent in this mofo. I cannot for the life of me comprehend the madness.

    4. My job is boring the hell outta me!

    5. I absolutely, positively, without any doubt HATE chicks/whores who do not respect the fact that a man is in a relationship. If you don't have enough respect for the man's woman… have some for yourself! Why are you sending pu$$y pics to another woman's man assuming his woman isn't going to find out!?!? Dumb azz!

    Wooosah. Thank goodness it's Friday!

  8. Oh dang… after reading the rules page… I think I'm banned because I used the word "wh0re" in my comment above:-( Sorry

  9. First off. Good Morning to all of you, I hope you all slept well. Secondly…Thank you for the rules SBM.

    SBM: I was very happy to find out you had a girlfriend because I realized you wanted one for so long. If you really want her…take some time, think about it and fight hard for her because I am sure she deserves it and maybe she might forgive you. As a woman, it is hard to love a man and things go wrong. Furthermore, we say we hate you, but we probably don't and it usually means you've hurt us to a degree we didn't think possible. Goes back to that little Chicken Soup for The Soul statement, loving a girl means never wanting to see her upset. And yes, it's gonna happen, but do your best to protect her from it….even it means your boys might play you, cause you're not sleeping with them at night. That said, thanks for "The Rules" and I wish you the best of luck. Keep your head up and get your health checked.

    @Ms. Freckles-You're so funny…I hope you don't get banned.

    @Mikki-Umm…welcome back?


    -I hate loving someone with all you got to no avail.

    -Not getting any sucks.

    -I really wonder why kids these days are so ridiculous, and after watching The Tyra Show last night I think it's because they are used to getting it and maybe now they are not.

    -Taking long trips in a car sucks but due to a death in the family I'm out of here for like a 14 hr ride.

    I think that's it for now.

    I hope you all have a splendid and beautiful Friday regardless of your various duties.

  10. Thank you Jaclynn I think for the welcome back, I teeder todder'd with coming back and I decided to do so. I grew up in one month and realized I can't take everything so personal. Now I know how to ignore and not respond to PEOPLE I don't agree with. If I don't like what some one is saying I am just going to keep it moving, no need to argue, get mad, fuss, pitch a fit, poke out my lips like im pouting, ect….

    I took a wooosahh pill and a couple bubble baths and I am aye ok now. Didn't you say you live in the D??

  11. "its cheaper to keep her!"…""she’s a little bit country and I’m a little bit of rock n roll."

    Can I just point out that I think these are all songs???

    Mikki- You want some pie??

  12. Additional Rants..

    I am going to spend part of my day job hunting, and in the subject line i am going to put (needs own office with a door). I really am a quite girl outside of my lip singing to my music on imeem, you don't normally get a peep outta me BUT everyone around my lil cubicle feels the need to laugh, hem and haw, choke on spit, cough, yell across the room and, scream at people on the phone who can't hear instead of just turning up the volume a notch. I really am sick of this shit and sometimes I want to scream to the top of my lungs SHUT THE FUCK UP DAMN! just so I can have a lil peace at work for one day……

  13. @Jaclynn – I hope I don't get banned either!

    @Mikki – Welcome back.

    @Comeback – Maybe you should consider getting with SBM and doing a joint blog. He can have the make views and you give the woman views?

  14. @Mikki-Girl no, I checked out some men via Craigslist there (weak I know) but I was appalled. Lol. And girl I hit them bubblebaths too…did wonders.

    @Comeback-HAHAHAHA…..You're too much. Yep. Cheaper to keep her, cause you don't pay nothing to get her, and then when you do and you lose her you gonna pay to get her back lol.

  15. Since I don't do rants, I have MUSINGS.

    ***scrolls out my piece of paper***

    1. OK…I have dated EVERY astrological sign earth and water with good intent. There is a sign that is supposed to be my my maserati, my apple pie, my triple upside down breve 180 degrees…so does anybody know where I can locate a smart little Capricorn.

    2. I need to clean my desk. A clean desk is an efficient and WORKING not sitting on here playing with yall desk.

    3. But really though as lionel richie sung and to everybody's point why can;t "love find a way".

    4. I went to church last weekend and service was FOUR hours…why didn't I want to leave. It did take me a while to get dressed. I do have some practical nice A line Godly dresses, but all my shoes are NOT of God (super high heels, strappy, thongs). Maybe I'll go out and find some "Holy" shoes, nice sensible "Jesus Loves Me Pumps".

    5. I am working on a "Save the Starbucks Campaign" in my home association. How and the hell did I become the co-chair to a dam$n working committee thats been meeting HOURS this week.

  16. lol Jacylnn I said JOB not boo, u smoking something? i check for a lot of online datings sites and have since i was a wee bit over 18 but craigs list is not one of them chile!!! but I have come across a lot of jobs and have applied for a few that would have coulda have been promising had I decided to move….

    ah well……

  17. No, no…that's what I said about Detroit. I went online cause I kept hearing you talking about them. So I went online and they were all ridiculous! Secondly, one of them was talking about the STD that he had and how just because he had it doesn't mean that he just wants to have sex. I almost threw up. Now you can search jobs on there it's good for that unless you want something big and shiny and even then!

    @Comeback-If you get a Capricorn-you are gonna get many more than one sink interludes. But I heard R. Kelly is single, what about Tyrese?

    @Mikki-Shut the dog. No like hell you didn't say no shit about a vibrator….

  18. Oh ok Jaclynn I did see STD man, I was talking to my best friend about it. Her take on it was that, honesty is great, but something like that you shouldn't be advertising to people who don't know you from adam because it leaves people to judge you before they even get to know you. I understand what he was trying to do but its not working to his advantage thats like posting an ad that reads:

    Hello, I am jobless, and I stay wit moms in the basement. I tend to have hoeish ways and I smoke all day, I am honest so holla at me yo!

    and whats wrong with my vib comment? I really do love her music like I love my toy!!!!

  19. Ms. Freckles, I might consider but our views are TOO divergent. And besides I want to do some podcasting (blog talk radio–and that negro has already said NO)

    Jaclynn:"@Comeback-HAHAHAHA…..You’re too much. Yep. Cheaper to keep her, cause you don’t pay nothing to get her, and then when you do and you lose her you gonna pay to get her back lol."

    "And now let us bow our heads in prayer…AMEN"

    re: R-RA Kelly has a pediphile inseam. And Isn't Tyrese my height??? ….Can we bring this down to earth. He has to be AT LEAST 5'10 for the sink scenairo to mathematically go down. ***Let me measure my bathroom situation again***

  20. Comeback don't you shun all dating sites?? craigs list, blackplanet, eharmony, yahoo personals, singles.net, blackvoices, blackpeoplemeet, online booty call.com, did I forget any???

    Personally I think if you weed out the wackies you can find something….

    Its really no diff than meeting a guy at the club, poetry spot, gas station, home depot (need to go there cuz men be in them do it yourself classes)….

    im just sayin

  21. My rants or riffs

    1) I'm still not sure if I want to fix my car or buy a new one

    2) if you aren't getting any looking at pictures of Serena Williams, Buffy, or Deelishis does not help.

    3) sometimes conservatives get on my nerves

    4) who isn't selling obama shirts?

    5) are there women in detroit that read non-fiction books and can discuss 3rd world issues or politics?

    6) i need to calm my addiction to sport and muscle cars

  22. Humble I say fix it unless you plan to pay cash for a new one sir..

    Personally I don't care for politics heck I don't even have a tv and I don't really care whats going on in the world, I am to busy trying to figure out my own shit. However, there are a couple intellectuals up here in lansing, poetry n politics run rampant round here, both of which I really can't stand. I can hook you up!

  23. @Mikki-I guess. I mean I read that ad like four times and I kept trying to figure out what he has lol.
    @Comeback-Why did I need prayer? I'm just saying…Oh and your sink must be high, because I know for a fact it would work on my sink. 🙂 At least bathroom. Kitchen counter though he'd need to be like 6'4
    @Humble-Fix the old car, I'll send you a pocket you-know-what. Do you have an Obama shirt and what made that negro think he could take his @$$ to Windsor?

  24. Lol I think I remember my girl saying he has the herp, She actually talked to him and tried to let him know that he shouldn't be putting his info out there.

    So glad I don't have a tv to know why my Mayor fled to canada, I hope he didnt' drop his cell phone in the river while he was swimming across, might make Kristine a lil upset…

  25. @Mikki – to get the car the way I want it I dont want to spend more than 10K. Anything more than 10K I'll buy a new car. I dont want another note. I might need you to hook me up. But the thing with some intellectuals is that they are lame. I like the intellectual stuff but I like to party and bullsh*t too.

  26. Humble I understand you but this is not pimp my ride seriously. Lets focus on reliablity first then worry about 22's 34's and 55's spinners and dip sets later. It should not take 10k to get your car in working order brotha and I agree car notes drain your funds, and I know you plan to ask me out but I refuse to hit up Mcdonalds with you checkin out the 99 cents menu just because your car payment is due in 2 days……

    I agree intellectuals can be kinda lame but some of them know how to have balance, you just have to be able to read them. I personally would rather be with the intellectual guy and bring out the funny in him, than to be with dumb as bricks rodney who can't figure out how to send a picture message via cell phone.

  27. You guys are too much. Mikki…I concur. I would rather have nice dinner and a purse that you riding around with a car laced in diamonds. That's just me. 🙂

  28. " agree intellectuals can be kinda lame but some of them know how to have balance, you just have to be able to read them"

    Reading is good….so why dont yall "throw some D's on that…" at your local barnes and noble.

    gotta go.

  29. @Jolie Fatale – my ex went to a HBCU. not intellectual at all which was frustrating. Maybe is was the school she went to. I don't know how someone over 30 can watch 106 & Park everyday. I prefer dealing with someone that has some understanding of the dynamics that created or creates the society or world you live in. You dont have to be Cornel West but I dont want to deal with Paris Hilton.

  30. @Jolie and Humble-I have cousins from an HBCU-all went to the same one. Some of them turned out okay and some of them are like 40 and I'm worried. I think it's more of a personal interest thing.

  31. 106 & PARK is edumackaychanal bunk what chu hurd yo.

    Seriously my ex used to hate on me because I faithfully watched the simpsons when I came home from work, I wanna know why are you worried about my favorite relaxing pass time? Do I tell you to go jump in a river when u sit up and watch law and order marathons on TBS?? Noooo! I suck it up n say bay can I fix U a samich or somethin? and proceed to prop ur feet up with a pillow while handing you a cold glass of cherry kool-aid

  32. @Mikki – Wow you have been around too many typical n*ggas. I hate 22's 30's etc on cars. I think it is tacky and tasteless. Within the 10K is a paint job, re-upholstered seats, and mechanical work. I am talking about painting the car the original color. Just doing a light restoration to make the car a decent daily driver. I do want to supercharge it to but that is not a priority.

  33. SBM, sorry to hear that all of this has been stressing you. Like you mentioned–it's only a blog.

    People have so many different personalities and opinions so hopefully you're not being held accountable because of the vast opinions that have been posted here.

    The Comeback Girl – you know I'm all for reading 🙂

    Mikki welcome back. Although I've still been visiting in your space 🙂

  34. Why so serious – nothing wrong with being 5'8"…I see a lot of women who are a few inches taller than their men in relationships.

    Humble One/Jolie/Mikki – the other day I was at the post office and saw this car painted like an m & m with 22s, 30s, shoot I'm not really familiar with the inches but they had spinners too. Lil' Wayne was booming from the speakers. I was surprised to see the driver–an old man. I kind of expected to see someone younger because a lot of the young dudes here are into stuff like that…but this man had to be pushing 60 but you couldn't tell him nothing because he strutted like he knew he was the man. He was a gentleman by opening the door for me but I was so tempted to ask him if that was his grandson's car.

  35. Actually I don't hang around any "typical n*ggas" But I do drive and I can see with my glasses pretty well since my last check up, and its not rocket science to notice what the average black male in Detroit rides around in. I dunno much about cars I just assumed thats what you was trying to do with 10k, thank goodness thats not the case, all the stuff your talking I personally wouldn't go through the trouble I would just buy a new one, again paying cash of course, i CANT afford a new car so I am praying my beater gets me from "A" to "B'' til mid 2010, but didnt you say you are an engineer?? you can swing 10k easy……..

    Thank you Shelia you are such a faithful reader, I love you so much!

  36. @Shelia-Do you know what's going on with brand name cars? Lamborghini doors? What kinda foolishness is going on? I mean really…what's wrong with a regular Accord or something? I think some of the things culture is visiting us with are just a bit much.

  37. My thoughts for today since I really have nothing to rant about:

    1. I told myself that I wouldn't comment after being "put in my place" last night by our moderator, but I decided not to let my pride get in the way, after all he was right, this is his shit…he can do with it as he pleases. So here I am Jaclynn and Ms. D…lol.

    2. I'm happy my daughter will be back tomorrow so that I can return to some semblance of normalcy.

    3. I'm equally as happy that school will start back in 2 weeks, I find myself with little do, even with 2 jobs and a kid. I have to stay busy to stay focused.

    4. It's a super slow day today and I'm bored as hell…and according to #3 have absolutely no focus.

    5. My daughter got a scholarship, so all of this extra hard work i've been doing to pay for her tuition can go towards paying off a debt or two…yaaaay. Mikki I may need a little advice about your program.

    6. My friend is having a going away party tonight…he's moving to New York to be with his girlfriend…long distance for 2 years and they made it work…kudos to them…i'm surely going to miss him though. Oh well, such is life….onward and upward.

    7. I'm feeling a little lonely…I think I may finally clean my closet tonight and straighten out my life.

  38. Oh wait, I forgot to mention…my daughter will be starting Honors Kindergarden(who knew right) next week….YAAAAAAY!! We've come a long ways from potty-training and learning how to ride a bike. Mommy is so proud of you Alexandra Elizabeth!

  39. @Teacia-Welcome honey. So glad to see you here! Congrats to the baby girl on the scholarship!

    OOOOHHHH honors…she gonna make big money in the world..maybe she'll be the next Oprah or Michelle!

  40. Jaclynn, there should be a rule-if you are in a Honda, Ford, Toyota or any other model besides a Lamborghini, leave the Lamborghini doors for the Lamborghini.

  41. SBM: I am sorry to hear about the break up. Remember things worth having are worth fighting for. (That's a message for you and the ex-GF!)

    Thanks for having rules. We all need to operate by a code of conduct even on these here internets.

    I had month end close this week so I haven't been able to post much but I'm back with a vengeance next week!!!

  42. @ SBM's Ex Girlfriend – Awwwwww. I almost wanted to throw up a fist and say Woman Power!

    @ SBM – you better fix that and fix it quick!

    @ Everyone else – I hope ya'll have a great weekend.

  43. @Teacia-I knew I'd think of an appropriate quote…"Show me the mother and I'll show you the child"

    Kudos to you 😉

  44. More Rants:

    1. I need to stop acting like a wife and my left hand does not have a diamond on it.

    2. Why do people call and fail to leave their phone numbers on my work voicemail? Like I'm supposed to magically know who the hell they are and how to reach them.

    3. I should have applied to work for the FBI. I've got skills.

  45. Jaclynn: yeah the honors thing kind of caught me off guard, i didn't even know that existed for kindergarden…they make your kids take a test and she apparently did exceptionally well.

    i got big plans for the little girl though, i opened up a Coverdell ESA the SAME day I got her social security card in the mail. i figure that if i can't change the world, then i will equip her with the love, the compassion and the knowledge to pick up where i left off.

    Everyone: thanks for the congrats…i am super excited…just got the news this morning. you guys were the first to know.

    Mikki: i replied and i really appreciate you making the effort to lend a helping hand.

    Freckles: girl i know the feeling, you just want what's best for them so you put on your wife apron and be the best girlfriend you can be…but in truth it stunts your progress. only you know what you have to do.

    After Hours: according to the vibe around here today…indeed we can.

  46. A woman breaks up with you at 25.

    so now your over 6ft educated , well written black man who makes fukin crazy money…….

    and this is a problem?

    the numbers are on our side, theres 5-6 black women for every fine black man.

    Its not ego, its fact. Be you and remember principle is what makes a black man a black man.

    I had a great date lastnight. Philipino chick. A total hippie. I must say I love a gal whose first line is she dosent care about money or materialistic things. And she admits she is a former angry woman.

    Im sad about this enonomy.

    I hate working two fulltime jobs. I love the paychecks but the workload is almost unbearable. I miss my godson and feel like I am not doing my duty by not seeing him. He went on the potty twice testerday and I wasnt even around and had nothing to do with it.

    how is it that I am now doing the exact opposite of what I started out wanting to do?? How am I dating the exact opposite type of women that I started out wanting to date? A philipino gal from yonkers? A high yellow, big booty alaskin chick thats constantly angry? Am I losing my focus? do I have a direction I am working in?

    A man without his principle is fighting a losing battle… so what am I doing?

  47. friday rants

    – i’ve been feeling….short lately. I’m 5’8″ and a half, and I’ve noticed that girls go crazy over the 6 foot and over dudes. But I guess its the same way when males see a girl with a big booty. So I understand. At any rate, it makes it more interesting for me…another challenge. I like challenges.

    – People, don’t come into the office talking about personal health problems. I’m over here catching a rant about a rash. Gross.

    – i’m really liking this iPhone. i really really do. It’s the Sanaa Lathan of electronics. I really like Sanaa Lathan.

    – Sorry to hear about your breakup bro. Can I suggest something? Play Street Fighter while listening to Wu-Tang. Doesn’t make everything the world right. But it makes it better.

    – wait…don’t you have a bike? maaaaan….you better get that knee down!

    – I’m gonna run for mayor of Detroit. I really care about the community here and would do a great job.

  48. Why so, when you become mayor can you make the first order of business to stop charging folk to look up peoples property tax information……

    thats like my life line and since its been cut i haven’t been able to breath very well.

  49. Please stop telling these people that I hate you. I told you that my anger would subside by morning and it has. I don’t hate you, although I am still not that fond of things at the moment.

    We are not as different as you would like to paint. You just weren’t listening to me when I told you what I needed from my man, actually you got offended when I told you. None of which should have come as a shock, I was always upfront and honest with you about my needs, desires and expectations.

    I find it heartwarming how much your readers love you and want for you to be happy. I find it just as disheartening the things that were allowed to flourish on this site.

    You can not use it as an extension to communicate with me and others when it works in your favor, and turn around and disassociate yourself from it when things aren’t as rosey. Either you are the site or you aren’t. Either this is an extension of who you are and what you will allow in your household or it isn’t. But sweetheart you can not have it both ways, there must be some accountability.

    Again I do not hate you, in fact I still love you deeply, but there are some things that took place in cyberspace as well as our space that just doesn’t sit well with me. I want nothing but the best for you and from you, I just don’t think that includes me.

    Everyone enjoy your weekend.

  50. Dayummm…That was a classic rant! You might have to make a youtube short clip about that shyt…lol

    Oh yeah..I’m glad there are rules.. if a mfer can’t act right they need rules anyway.
    Females don’t hate forever.. they just don’t tell us when they forgive us. They just wanna see ya beg. They wanna see ya break down. Just hold tight.. if ya luv her that much…it will show… she can feel it!
    oh yeah… what don’t kill ya.. makes ya stronger. Ulcers won’t kill ya.. it’s the bleading that will.

    It’s Friday Mfers! Lets get the partayyy started!

  51. 1. In exactly 3 1/2 hours I will be kid free for the rest of the summer. I'm a little jealous because he'll be basking in the sun in Hawaii, unfortunately it was a trip I couldn't make this year. He's more worried about me being here by myself and not having him around to do things for me. He's such a gentleman.

    2. My allergies are kicking me in the ass today. I'm driving down the street looking like a coke head about to rub my damn nose off! I was at a red light and a cop rolled down his window to ask if I was "OK" and offered me a tissue…lol

    3. In refence to #1, while the kid is away, the mom will play!

    4. I got an offer to write an editorial column for an online magazine. I'm excited but where will I find the time. I'm already working with two blogs…

    5. SBM, we can do the collabo we've been throwing back/forth for the past couple of weeks.

    6. SBM, sorry to hear about the break-up. Sometimes people are better off as friends, but if someone is worth fighting for, pick up the pieces and see what is mendable.

    7. Going to walk around the dirt field called for the Stone Soul picnic this weekend, all of this just to see Raphael Saadiq!

  52. My Rants:

    1. I hate living in a country ass town (KENTUCKY) where my only hope for a black man is one who: wears white Ts, has candy painted tennis shoes on, drives an old school vehicle with 20" rims. with LEMONHEAD painted on the hood and yellow and blue interior BUT YET NO HEALTH INSURANCE/STOCK PORTFOLIO/ whatever else that is significant of a steady 9 to 5.

    2. When I was a kid, I just knew I'd be married by 28. I'm 27, beautiful, strong, funny, AND no kids but STILL no great dating prospects, and will be in FIVE WEDDINGS next year (there better be a prospect there! Ha)

    3. I'm 27, working full time, AND STILL IN COLLEGE (kids take it from me, finish right after high school and DO NOT SIT OUT!)

    4. I just realized, I'm the black version of "27 Dresses."

    5. Yep, almost 3:30… the day's almost done when I can end my day of working for "the man."

  53. Why did I go home for a quick nap…and stay sleep for 75 damn minutes thanks to a flash thunderstorm that was music to my subconcious ears…it's a good thing my boss works out of the Gainseville office and I'm the only person who works in my office or I would be in moderate trouble. *boss is calling on the phone*….whew that's some good timing.

  54. @Nicki Sunshine

    2. When I was a kid, I just knew I’d be married by 28. I’m 27, beautiful, strong, funny, AND no kids but STILL no great dating prospects, and will be in FIVE WEDDINGS next year (there better be a prospect there! Ha)

    I guess I can kind of feel you. I'm 30 and the only one not married or without kids. But after my last relationship I am in no rush to get in another.

    3. I’m 27, working full time, AND STILL IN COLLEGE (kids take it from me, finish right after high school and DO NOT SIT OUT!)

    And if they don't have the classes you need to graduate threaten them unitl they do. lol. I worked full time and went to school full time at periods so I totally feel you. I've kept a job all through school.

  55. I think I got food posioning, Damn you white people!! oh….

    Why is it that I have to take care of myself everytime I am sick? I just wish I could ring a bell and "jeffrey" from fresh prince of belaire would come to my rescue with a turkey sandwich and brownsugar poptart in tow…

  56. One more rant

    Why are so many black people in my city making excuses for the mayor. i.e. he's black we have to stick to together, the media is out to get him, we all make huge mistakes over and over again, white people this and that

    I am pro-black but I believe in accountability and responsibility. Especially when it comes to our people. There are so many issues we have that there is no room for this type of nonsense. With negroes being this apathetic I see why it is so easy to pimp my people.

    In the hood when you are hot you lay low. You aint on the block workin. I mean no one talks about eliot spitzer.

  57. @Mikki-Stop. You know you would rather have Mr. Belvedere. No just kidding I'd rather have Florence from the Jeffersons! Well doesn't matter they all make me laugh! And whose white in here? Lol…I know I know. I am delusional.

    @Humble-He left the hood. Traveled one mile and they got him. Now if Eliot Spitzer had traveled to France to pick up a real French prostitute no one woulda said a thing.

  58. did florence ever really do any work????? I did like Mr Belvedere too but what about that lady on two and a half men? wouldn't you want her for a maid lol. I really love that show *singing*

    men men men men menly mennnn woo hoo hooo hooo hooo hoo hoooo, men men men men men men men menly men.

    ok im done

  59. @Mikki – it is actually less than that. I tried to buy a car with cash. I can't remember but it was b/w 9000 and 10000. Unless something has changed. My credit union also has to report it to the feds if you withdraw that much cash.

  60. how much less? I can understand it being reported when you put it in by why when you take it out? I mean that doesn't make sense, If i can write a check for 10k and verify the funds are in the account whats the prob? I wouldn't suggest anybody actually take out 10k and walk around with it, thats just retarded anyways………

    unless its monopoly money or something…..

  61. Dude, it's 3:31 . . . why is the day going by so slowly?!?!?!? I can still feel the effects of those Tylenol PM's from lastnight.

    I miss my boo . . . 🙁

    F, I'm ready to go the F home!!!

  62. I dont know what happened in 27 dresses… but I went from being the old sage that knew everything about living with a woman and being a mate… to being the guy thats single and now nobody's wife/fience wants them to spend too much time with me.

    I went to a wedding the other week… an asian wedding… but was the only single male. Had a batchlor party on saturday…. 19 men, only me as the single guy. And when I say single.. I mean single AND not married, all of my core group of college buddies and my baby brother are now married or will be married by september.

    I have been on countless dates with all kinds of women but I could never see myself living with any of them, much less dating them long term. Everyone seems to pale in comparison to women I know that are already married and the woman I spent my life with.

    why are all of the women whom I run into that are still in the dating pool, 31+ year old women who havent had a relationship over 4 years in their life?

    Is it that all of the people who are left in the dating pool at 30 are here for a reason…. they are inferior mates?

    I cant fault eliot spitzer. I would rather a man get a paid 20 year old swelteringly hot call girl… than cheat on his wife with a woman who could catch feelings and do something crazy…. anyone remember single white female? Hand that rocks the cradle? FATAL ATTRACTION!!! ya you'll never catch THIS nigga wit a jump off… Xbox, porn and a box of tissue is much safer.

  63. @Mikki – I dont know but I was trying to withdraw almost 10K and the teller told me a form had to be filled out and so on. She explained that they had to report to I think the IRS. This was like 10 years ago. I think it may be tougher now because of all the law changes since 9-11.

  64. @Mikki: Once when I was in undergrad, I needed to withdraw abot 3 or 4k out of my Wells Fargo account, and they made me fill out a paper, and wait like 30 mins. I was like "WTH!! Gimme my money!!!"

  65. Humble, Im about to be 31 and still havent finished college. and living this close to NYC its going to cost me 250k to get a condo… so I cant generate enough income to go back to school.
    I guess you have to just keep on keepin on bro. Ya I wish I had finished school in 4 years and been 21 with a degree

    I wish I had not gone into IT either. Typical negro…. I went for the career that had the high dollar value insted of stability. all I seem to do now is worry about whats going to happen in life next…. worry , worry worry 😐

    hey… wheres Lion?

  66. @HNIC – I have one degree in engineering i am working on my second. It has been so hard with the second because of the economy, cost of living, and so on. I am just glad i have the work experience to make the money i do now and still afford to go to school. I came close to quitting a few times. If I could just go to school full time and not work I would have finished a long time ago. But you have to keep a roof over your head and food in your stomach.

  67. ok im am going to need you all to get new school and use cashiers checks, money orders, and personal checks….

    now i know who to rob when im out and about, im gonna put on my bill clinton mask so you dont know its me.

  68. sbm tsk tsk..I've always said never to mix the blog world with the real world when it comes to love…then I met my sweetheart online..we've been dating 6 months now and are totally in love..but we keep the blogworld in check..really they can't touch the love relationship we have, its too deep.

    I'm so sorry this blog even had anything to do with it…unless you know any of your commenters in real life it shouldn't have that much weight in your relationship what they say or do..now if you are saying one thing here and meaning another thing elsewhere I can see how that can be a problem.

    I actually try to stay on topic of the original post… or take my 39 comments to a post of my own on MY OWN blog where they belong maybe that would cut down on some of the maintenance you have to do here.

    keep your head up!

  69. I am overly depressed at times and overly fearful at others.

    I dont have a degree so I cant switch fields, and I am too young to really hope to go back to school.

    I dont have any of the basic stuff either. I have no house that I own, and I have a car older than most people on this blog. So I cant stop working to go back to school… hell I dont even think if I went back to school if it would be worth it. Im as dumb as a doornail scholastically.

    So this whole thing could go sideways really quick…. and I am very fearful. the jobs look dark up here in nyc my brothas, especially for the middle class.

    now if only I was cute enough to marry paris hilton and live worry free.

  70. Mikki I sent the response twice, there was no foul language or government trigger words so you should have gotten it..lol. I will attempt to send it again, this time to the email linked to your blog.

    Hasani, we all have our fears…but if you really want to go back to school I think you should go for it. You might have to cut your expenses a little, but the benefits far outweigh the costs. Hell if you save up the extra money you're making at your second job at $1700/wk 2 weeks in, that leaves you with 6 weeks left and approximately 10,200 left for savings, which you can use to probably pay for the rest of your schooling at a respectable state university. State universities run about $130 credit hour which with a 15hr semester would run you about $1950/semester or $3900/yr. Let's say you finished at least 2 years, you will have more than enough with a few grand left over for books and stuff. If you didn't finish 2 years, you can transfer your credits to a community college and get an A.A….the benefits of that is that the tuition usually runs about $70/credit hr, which is considerably cheaper and then you can transfer to a State university with guaranteed admission.

    Now I know you initially went to Rutgers, and our pride wants for us to graduate from prominent universities and all, but sometimes it's in our best interest to let the pride go and just follow our dreams. You love kids and you seem to care immensely about their future. You can also IT for a child related organization. I have a friend who does that, and he just loves the mission of the company that he works for that he doesn't mind the long nights at times.

    But choose something you love though, you seem to really have a thing for helping people. Maybe you should get a Bachelors in Social Sciences or Non Profit Management(that's usually an M(aster's) P(ublic) A(dministration) program). Boys and Girls Scouts and well as Boys and Girl Club are both major non profit organizations. Or you can work for Teach for America. The possibilities are endless!!

  71. Ok so I just looked up the cost to attend state universities up north and I would like to first extend my apologies for the gang rape that you all have unknowingly become a part of…and secondly DAYUM!!!

    The cost to go to school in the north is RIDICULOUS!!!!!

    Maybe you should consider moving down south, the economy in Florida(north Florida especially) is at a peak right now, and even out of state tuition is only $3000/semester…which is still considerably less than the cost of what you guys pay.

    WOW!! Ok, so new plan…looks for grants…I'll help. I'm sure there are plenty out there for black men.

  72. My rants…

    -Hell yeah SBM tell these folks how to act in yo damn house. Show some respect people!.

    -I am praying I find my one contact lenses that I lost…I hate my glasses!!

    -Thank God I made it through my first of training.

    – God is blessing me still. But sometimes its hard to appreciate your blessing when those close to you are going through hell. I want things to get better for my family, I can't take seeing them like this.

    -I know we still talk everyday… but I hate that she is moving in with him. Why do I care that though?

    – I can't believe we found each other after 10years. I still feel the same butterflies in my stomach when I talk to you now as I did in high school.

    -I can't believe the lies people tell…I sure hate when it all makes full circle.

    – Glad to Teacia is back!!!

    -I have had alot of drama this also.

    Ok I am going to try and catch up on the comments on my various blogs.

  73. @Teacia-Girl, I wish I had gone to public school in the South what I paid one year my friends paid for all four.

  74. cost to go to school…. AND live up here are ridiculous.
    Especially with rutgers finally becoming an elite football and basketball and lacrosse school.

    One bedroom apartments in New Brunswick currently rent for $1184 to $1614 per month.
    After yesterdays price increase… cost of tuition at rutgers $4,262 (6k when all said and done)

    to find out what an average person is making in an area you look at the local Staffing firm and see what rates they are offering. Cus every major company is on a hiring freeze and those that are not in a freeze have outsourced to staffing firms (if not india). the average office job listed on monster's two largest staffing firms is around $12/hr which comes out to $1400 a month after taxes.

    The $1700 I bring home a week NOW wont be shit when the nigga next to me hasnt eaten and cant find a job so he decides to jack me. Its not like the gas station or the corner store is closing down… Im talkin Fannie Mae, Dow Jones, Bristol Myers Squib, Johnson & Johnson.. large corporations this half of the counrty is built on are closin up shop and shipping over seas.

    and its not like its going to be a minor lul and then rebound like the stock market. Once you close up a company and ship it away… its not just going to come back next year and open up shop again.

    in short, when people start to lose their jobs, and the 3 major pharmaceutical companies close their doors here (because they are outsourcing) you wont make enough money to pay your own rent.

    But thank god the marriage rate is falling… because it would sure be a bad idea to have combined incomes about now… right ladies?
    and even with more schooling… there are still no jobs because there are no companies. So unless I jump up a whole tier to becoming an Engineer or Doctor .. theres still nothing around.

    SO forgive me for sounding like a pessimist when my spiffy new job everyday is to make sure information on critical American systems migrates smoothly over to Indian based servers and teaching my indian colleague what I am doing so he can go back to New Delli and lead his team.

    Yes the ultimate "uncle tom" job.

  75. Hasani, I live in one of the worse economies (Michigan) and I am not doing so bad. I was on craigs list last night and I found a bunch of cool jobs in the field I work in, Some paid rather low, and some paid middle to high. But jobs are still abundant you just may have to work a couple instead of one. Rent where I live is $465 a month and the mortgage on my house is $500 which is doable even if you worked at Mcdonalds.

    Michigan has been hit hard with all the plants closing down, so I know its been a big struggle but what I think it also does is allow people to venture outside of comfort, most dudes around here didn't even have to get an education because they could go straight to the plants, now people are forced to get an education and I really don't see how thats a bad thing, school is very affordable if you go to a community college and keep expenses down, maybe that means living with a roommate and working two jobs…..

    all in all its working well, takes a lil extra effort but I'm 25 years young so I have no reason I can't get on the grind

  76. "now people are forced to get an education and I really don’t see how thats a bad thing, school is very affordable if you go to a community college and keep expenses down, maybe that means living with a roommate and working two jobs…..'

    This is why I like you Mikki, because you are SMART. Michigan, Ohio, parts of Northern and Western PA are in a similiar "slump" if you will. What is happening is the same thing that happened during every industry shift where this country went from Agriculturial, to Industrial to Technological. There was a period I would say in the mid to late 70s where there was a serious bleed with all three (as tech started to emerge).

    But most service sectors are NOT struggling. People still need SERVICES. When companies slash payroll they go to consultants and 1099 folks. To me its just a matter of thinking AHEAD like you said.

    And I like your mindset. Because anything you imagine is bad WILL BECOME WORSE.

    Take this whole starbucks thing I am working on. I am starting to spend ALOT of time working on a business case (because its closing in my subdivision), but Im getting exposure, I'm meeting people, there are attys and other business people who live in the neighborhood.

    bottom line it STILL bowls down to cultivating RELATIONSHIPS. Being POSITIVE about the outcome AND thinking ahead of the curve. And also thinking out of the box. Im going to dubai this year (too hot now) and best believe I'm going to be hob nobbing…even if I have to put on traditional garb.

  77. @Mikki

    "Michigan has been hit hard with all the plants closing down, so I know its been a big struggle but what I think it also does is allow people to venture outside of comfort, most dudes around here didn’t even have to get an education because they could go straight to the plants, now people are forced to get an education and I really don’t see how thats a bad thing, school is very affordable if you go to a community college and keep expenses down, maybe that means living with a roommate and working two jobs….."

    This is true but a lot of people don't want to come out of that comfort zone. I believe being comfortable somtimes is bad for you. I still don't think a lot of people will go to school because they look at education wrong. As long as you think you go to college to get a job and not knowledge you will have people that think like that. I had to adjust my lifestyle which meant cutting back and doing without some things.


    Services will always be here but if you dont have the technical or skilled individuals to bring ideas to life. You will end up with everybody telling you what to do or what should work but can't do it themselves. I think unskilled labor is what is expendable to corporations. And when the country switched from agricultural to industrial and then technological people got left because of improvements in technology used in manufacturing. China isn't growing because of services it's growing because of manufacturing.

  78. Ultimately I believe the U.S. as a whole will bounce back from what everybody is making to be the end of the world just about. The media perpetuates a lot of the "hasani mentality" but the reality is the opposite. Nobody talks about the fact that the overall GDP is still climbing (slowly) but we aren't in a recession. Regardless of all the outsourcing of jobs, we still are ranked #1 in the world (in spite of Iran trying to take our place) meaning those skilled individuals, the technical ones, and the ones who have the capability to think outside of the box and create "something new" are still in around but they don't get the lime light as much as they should.

    So the real question isn't where to find the people because its clear we already have the best, the question is where do YOU fit in, in the changing economy. If you want to stay in your "comfort zone" thats fine and dandy, but when you are left behind, there will be no one to blame, not the large corporations, not Obama, not outsourcing to china, not the school systems, it will be YOU………

  79. Ok after Teacia's report I recant my last statement THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END!

    lawdyyyyyyyyyy Jesus!!!!

    they said he had a bad case of pneumonia, I really thought he would pull through, that is so sad……

    damn damn damn!

  80. I would love to get into this conversation of economics, but honestly we haven't been impacted much down here by the slump. We didn't have many industrial jobs here in the first place, the few we had we still have, no plants have shut down in Jacksonville. Also the agriculturial jobs haven't really suffered either, especially since everyone is so health conscious now and moving towards organic this and organic that. We have exceptionally rich farm land for days and the weather has been perfect for harvesting crops and grazing animals.

    Our major economic impact is tourism, and although tourism has declined, it still hasn't even come close to devastating proportions.

    Florida is also a major hub for headquartering large companies, the land is cheaper, the cost of living is cheaper, so the ratio of pay to employees is substantially lower than it would be if they were headquartered in D.C or most northern cities.

    I live in downtown Jax in a two bedroom townhome and I only pay $800/mo. Yes there are condos a few blocks from that are substantially higher and range around $1300/mo…but for downtown anywhere that's still not a bad look.

    I don't know I'm with Mikki and Comeback…your situation is only as bad as you will allow it to be, and it will only become worse if you envision that it will and worry your little self crazy. Hasani it can be done, have you considered moving temporarily just so that you can complete school? People do it all the time, leave home…get an education and then return home equipped with the skills they need to succeed.

  81. Ok so I'm moving to Birmingham Alabama…they've officially gone to 4 day work weeks, 10 hour days….CRAZY!! They're doing it to save on fuel, and so far it's working and employees and citizens are becoming more efficient…go Mayor Larry Langford(yep he's black)…lol.

  82. Teacia Michigan wait………

    my job (government) does 4 day work weeks, and they are also trying to implement work from home programs, which I will vote for 50 times if i have to, BUT i can't stand working 8 hours a day let alone 10 lol, I did it for a short time and I totally sucked, by the time i got to that one day/half day off all I could do is sleep and I looked up and bam I was back at work!!

    All I need is 3 hour lunches and I am good

  83. Well I'm at work on a Saturday since I didn't come in last night…this is what happens when you lose focus…oh well, gotta get it done.

    Thank God both jobs come with an office because I would go stir crazy having to be surrounded by people all day every day.

    And tomorrow I AM going to church, I haven't been in 2 almost 3 months…I don't know what had gotten into me this summer but I must DO BETTER!!!

    A special shout out to Mikki for helping me to begin the process of reorganizing my life. Thank you gurl!!

  84. Comeback you are going to dubai!!!! omg I want to go take me with you!! I will work 10 jobs to save for it! You have to email me, I was going to plan a trip to go by myself in the next couple years but it would be better to have someone with me Email me please please pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

    *looking for my passport*

  85. Awww the black luv resurfaces, Your welcome Teacia I got cho back..

    see SBM we black folk can learn to get along *smiling*

    now excuse me I need to go take a 2 hour power nap before I got to work…..

    in the words of B Scott *double kisses* muah, muah buh bye!!!

  86. @ Mik check your email about DXB. Jaclynn I'll send you something thru the space.

    @ Humble I disagree sorry. Of course an education is paramount. Not just to learn a tangible skill. But (ahem) some people have a hard time having disagreements with people they don't necessarily agree with without reverting to sheer name calling and taking critism about how they view the world as: "you saying my money is too short".

    In college I developed friendships with women ALL over the world. It made me want to travel here and abroad. And it made me want to venture off of my block. Now I love the DMV don't get me wrong. But I have lived other places too (for work). Thinking outside of a box-first starts with getting out your box.

    Please tell me where the fyk is the recession when I'm still on the waiting list for the new 3g iphone-damn near 14 days I gotta wait, while the "T" enjoys record sales: those were mostly DOMESTIC and in this country.

    And you are wrong about services going to China. While true alot of stuff are shipped there to manufacture. Right over on the other side of town (IN EVERY TOWN) there are people making A MINT. By flipping the script in Real Estate. They are PROVIDING SERVICES TO BANKS.

    …does it take a college education to mow the lawn, pick up papers, and tidy up foreclosed/abandoned homes? How about finding the property and showing them to investors. There is so many ways to make money right now its really sad. Even on the internet…I'm (as well as a host of ALOT of other people) poised to buy t-shirts that some very enterprising men have made.

    as soon as they get here off the paddle boat…jk.

    re: agri industry, its not what it was. There is a trend now, where people are loving things that are organic and locally grown. I agree with Teacia, but there is still a HUGE dependance on larger mass producing farms on the other side of the country. I seek out local farmers, particularly black local farmers. The USDA did them something awful just in the last 15/20 years. And people talk about slavery. Make amends for what you;ve done in the last fkying decade dammit.

    ok im calm.

  87. One more thing…before I go …i find it rather odd that the people who complain the most have never writtern, alluded to, or mentioned GOD. I hate to get woo woo up and through. But where is your faith? Maybe things get moved out of your life for a reason ? God didn't make junk, he made creative, progressive minded in faith people. Not scary ones.

    dang gommit even SBM talked about church once.

    Have some faith people. Even if you aren't christian: there is something universal in every religion. Even the pagans look to SOURCE for guidance.

    im out yall

  88. Comeback: Someone who boast that they bring home 150,000 a year from a single income, with a pedigree a mile long, and main worries are what shoes to wear with her gucci glasses…. is really telling an average person about the worries of the job market?

    This is just going to start another argument between us, but I am pretty much insulted.

    A situation is bad as it IS.. not as bad as you imagine it to be. And Michigan is in a slumping economy…. but your cost of living dosent yet excede your average wage.

    I just showed you some random numbers…. you cant work a 40 hour a week office job at Pfizer and make enough to live in a low end appartment. which is why we work 2 jobs up here. Trust me, of all people, im no stranger to working alot (as I sit here working my 80th hour this week)

    the problem is when there are no more companies to work for. I have lived in a slump in the economy… thats not a problem. I have yet to be an adult in an era and area where the cost of renting is over the normal mans salary…. and with so many companies closing up shop and moving over seas.

    see in the 80's during the regan recession, nobody was making money…. but you could still work 2 jobs. hell the guy next door owned a house by working at Kmart. Kmart pays $8/hr here….. you cant even buy a car with that, much less get an apartment.

    so joe thug is soon gonna be out of a job and going to knock my ass over because he needs to eat.

  89. I myself am just gonna stack this $$ and pray VMware stock goes back up to at least $50, and hold off until the economy is better or I am coupled to attempt school. but I do have to acknowledge that not all black men are as fortunate as me to be bringing home 1700 a week or even 1/5th of that.

    I am currently working on a project that is going to put 11 black women and 5 black men all out on the street just in the room I work in alone. its actually several hundred people total just at Dow Jones alone that are going to hit the streets september 31,2008. 8 miles away the whole entire IT division of BMS will be outsourced and several THOUSAND employees will be out on the streets. J&J already whacked its payroll.

    but I have 17 year old young black men… your future leaders…. your young cuzins and they are asking me for advice about what to do as far as moves to make, and I honestly cant tell them to take out loans and go to school in the north east while renting an apartment….. they cant hack it either.

    I am thinking about for myself… gathering up this money and when this year is over and all the people are out on the street Ill move to Texas to do the education thing. I like that line of advice Teacia.

    35k in the bank should last me at least 4 years in texas if I get a job at a local spot.

    now all I have to do is figure out a way to not get married off to miss ER

  90. LOL…Hasani I must say you are quite insightful when you're not yelling and screaming…kind of gives me the warm and fuzzies, especially since I know the effort you're making and the reasons you're doing it. 😉 Also your point was factual and eloquent, I hope it works out for you. I think relocating would be a great idea, the cost of living is a big thing…if you can just get that down you'll be gravy.

    And Comeback you're also right, we may not theoretically be in a recession but in actuality we are, one more quarter(after august and sept) of record job less and record inflation and Comeback my dear it will be official. I think this is what the experts call stagflation(correct me if i'm wrong SBM). I live in Florida, the cost of living isn't that high, we don't drive far to work, and even when we do the commute is fairly reasonable. Also the price of gas is lower down here. I filled up my tank today for $45, and that took me over the full mark. So I too don't really feel the recession, but I am vividly aware of others pain. Not to mention I am college educated, which makes it a lot easier for me to thrive than for some others.

    But a majority of the country is feeling it. And it is a little insulting to say that people aren't struggling and that it's JUST mental when you're on the outside looking in. I'm sure if we all put our heads together we can figure something out to change the current path of this country.

  91. Hasani ***in the most respectful way I can as I put fingers to home keys***

    I never bragged about my income. If I recall, SBM alluded in a post to my "situational penis" in the work place to which another woman replied "well my vagina works just fine". Well it might if you work in textiles, just coming off of project runway, or making pottery for saks and niemens. But I need a "situational penis". It takes some balls for a woman to say hey i just made/saved you "x" …"show me the money"(at contract negotiation). And my balls seem to work, because I usually get what I ask for.

    Lousie Hay always says, "who wants to listen to broke and or sick people, telling them about the importance of being positive and thinking differently."

    …so yeah I walk what I talk.

  92. I don't think I ever said people "weren't struggling". What I said is that perhaps if we approach "the stuggle" from a different perspective, it would "look differently." There are options that people aren't considering. In the "gold rush" the people who sold the shovels got rich…not the people looking for the gold.

    Perception is everything. What I said is that in the housing bust…there are also people finding a huge boom, servcing the "decline". I'll pull the article in fortune when I get a chance.

  93. I've seen the article as well as the spot they did on CNN, and honestly not allowing someone to vent and pushing a point when someone is openly expressing their worry and concern is kind of rude. The man was openly ranting about his concerns, it's not cool to attempt to undermind someone's personal pain.

    …moving right along shall we.

    I am watching "License to Wed"….and it may actually be the funniest wedding movie ever, even funnier than Wedding Crashers(my one spot for the longest)…I sooo love Robin Williams.

  94. ROGER that 10-12…Im just doing my thang in the left hand lane…. you just watch your donkey …Gotta get some Jesus Loves Me Pumps..

    down and out good buddy see you on the flipper.

  95. @Comeback

    "In college I developed friendships with women ALL over the world. It made me want to travel here and abroad. And it made me want to venture off of my block. Now I love the DMV don’t get me wrong. But I have lived other places too (for work). Thinking outside of a box-first starts with getting out your box."

    Although I agree people need to go to college I did not need college to want to see what is outside my neighborhood. I use to ski, go horsebackriding, etc. all before college. Maybe my situation is different because my parents exposed me to a lot growing up. I grew up knowing German and my father's language. My parents had friends from different countries. So college did not introduce me to the world but gave me a better understanding of the world.

    "And you are wrong about services going to China. While true alot of stuff are shipped there to manufacture. Right over on the other side of town (IN EVERY TOWN) there are people making A MINT. By flipping the script in Real Estate. They are PROVIDING SERVICES TO BANKS"

    I did not say services are going to China I said manufacturing.

    "…does it take a college education to mow the lawn, pick up papers, and tidy up foreclosed/abandoned homes? How about finding the property and showing them to investors. There is so many ways to make money right now its really sad. Even on the internet…I’m (as well as a host of ALOT of other people) poised to buy t-shirts that some very enterprising men have made."

    I agree but what you are talking about in my opinion is hustling. Those are nice hustles if you can't find a job. But where I am that is not going to cut it. I got two friends that are engineers that just got laid off from ford. Do you think they can make as much money tidying up foreclosed home, selling t-shirts, or mowing lawns in michigan as they could as an engineer?

  96. Humble I hate to butt in but I need to add my .18 cents here again and for the last time tonight cuz i gotta go to bed. For one I don't think comeback mentioned "College" to say everybody gets exposure from that one place, I think she was attempting to say thats how "She" got hers, and the point was get outside your box, nobody really cares how you get there……

    Secondly your two laid off friends ARE engineers which is a good thing, I just seen a shit load of ads on craigslist for a crap load of engineers IN MICHIGAN and if they are willing to move heck the list grows, had me wishin I was one for a second.

    The whole "Extra job" thing was taken out of context, I don't think anybody who has a degree in anything should be "hustling" as a long term career, but if you have a family that needs to eat I think its best you do SOMETHING shit even if its just you its not a good idea to be expecting someone to "carry you" we all need a helping hand from time to time but as an able body, shit if u gotta cut grass, clean a house, find a property then do it!!

    To many people out here like to "HUSTLE" without any ambition to do better, can't say they don't have the means, cuz we got HFCC, LCC, WCCC OCCC, I should just make a long as list of schools to attend.

    I will keep your friends in prayer as I know job loss is not a fun thing but this whole woe is me with a college degree ish gotta stop, I don't even have a freakin degree and I am doing what is ever so popular "HUSTLING"


  97. Thanks for feeling me, Humble_One and Mikki aka Anitra Clark!!!!! Glad to know I am not alone.

    Believe me, after this conversation I had with my ex guy, (we now call ourselves "friends" but this is no kind of healthy friendship) about what he is doing behind his girlfriend's back (who he is moving to Texas to be with), it's sort of a relief of being single.

    I do not want to go back into the games… I know, everybody says "no games" in the beginning, but can you really believe anything that comes out of someone's mouth the first few weeks of fdating?

  98. @Comeback-Thx. I'll check.

    Looks like you guys had a splendid conversation today, I am sorry I missed it, but I was traveling all day to reach Akron for a family funeral. 🙂

    Ahhh…hope you all enjoyed your day!

  99. Just came across this website. It's great. But yeah, blogging will do things to your relationship…especially if you have a strong readership. I also work the mean 830 to 6pm job. Not really feeling that at all. I'm startin to buy more scratch and lotto tickets in an effort to bring work to an end. Check out my newly launched collabo blog at http://threewaystotakeit.wordpress.com. And no, it's not what you think it is based on the title. Get your mind out of the gutter!

  100. Man I know I should get up and go to church this morning…but I lack all physical and spiritual motivation. Not to mention I really need to clean up today. *sighing*

    *sidenote* Have you ever been laying in bed and you think that your mate is laying next to you, so you move in to snuggle up under them only to realize that no one is there…yeah, had that this disillusion this morning…it was a very sad moment indeed. I miss you babe.

  101. @Slim-Welcome to the fun!

    @Teacia-Girl, I thought about texting you but then I was thinking nah, she not up yet. Anyways, I'm here…we flew. As for your sidenote, yeah I'm kinda going through somethings with that as well…

  102. Mik that's EXACTLY what I'm talking about with your response to Humble. Also congrats on your plug. When I get back I'll read in detail. Im really proud of you. I think it deserves its very own blog JUST about what your doing, how your doing it etc etc.

    Anyway happy sunday all. If you can't go to church at least commune in nature, thank him/her for it. Or do something nice for someone.

    I'm out. over

  103. Thank you comeback, I was thinking I could use my own blog for that specifically but right now I am just going to chill over at Brads spot. We are both new to the process but he has a bit more experience than I do so I will delegate him to that task. I do believe that once you have created something that is sucessful, it can be duplicated as long as you keep track of what works and what doesn't.


  104. As a general update for the fam, I just got back from riding my motorcycle to Philly and back. Wasn't the most event filled trip, but it was good to see my friend up there and it's the farthest I've ever gone on my bike, so I feel like I accomplished something I've been wanting to do.

    Thanks to all the love I got here on the blog, over email and over he phone. I've come to a conclusion I need to not feel bad about blocking people for the overall good of the blog and I need not dedicate so much time and effort to reading and responding to comments. The comments are for y'all. I've got my place at the top.

    With me and my Ex, I'm glad to say things are looking up and we're good right now. I think some of the kind and encouraging words really helped out.

    Now I'm going to rest. All that time on a bike has all parts of me sore.

  105. I'm starting to not care for blogging as much these days…I guess it's because the summer fun is over and so is my cyber life.

    …back to the real world I go.

  106. I am 45 minutes from philly bro… shoulda hit me up we coulda gotten together for a late'

    Threw a party for my baby brother today, must say we have such a strong group of friends and family. Ugg he's 30 which means I am getting old. HE is also getting married in 3 weeks and I have to write something …. wonder if I can come up with something…

    ANd just another note that Money dosent = pussy. Took out my philipina cutie again Friday night. walkin around downtown. First she pays for dinner, claiming she thinks chilvary is demeaning to women but then while walking down the street squeels like a …. well an asian school girl over a dress she sees in the window. We go in the store and I beg her to try it on. Girl looked stunning in it, but the price was too steep. I got it for her.

    shes a good date

    conversely miss alaska still continues to be an angry black woman and fight with me about any and everything. why cant she ever be nice? Only time shes happy is when shes on her back or in the kitchen.

    ya…. not really buying anything for her …ever

  107. I wish I would have read this earlier…or may not have taken as many jabs at you about 'her' the other night. (i'm sooo lying) of course I still would have 🙂 What about your blog…in addition to having differences….could make it come to this? (we can talk about that on the sidelines my cuz – hmmm, unintentional turned intentional pun on Pootie Tang – that's your new nickname from me)

    there's a man I know that can help you with your health, mental state, and broken-heart – his name – Jesus. I believe he's available 24/7/365. Occupy your mind. I'm heading to NY this weekend.

  108. Dang….I usually catch up on my reads to your blog in chunks….I feel ya on the whole bloggin' issues

    "I didn’t start this site to display the hostility and drama in our community … I came with a much higher purpose. "

    And THAT is exactly why I don't read the comment section AT.ALL!! LOL

    Glad you kept the site up. I luv coming and reading what you have to say.

    Sorry about your gurl, but glad she touched your life and heart!!


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