Home Video White Girls [Video]

White Girls [Video]

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***NOTE***  There is a new poll question.  Interracial dating anyone? ****

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdI-JLTE5l4]

I don’t know what made me suddenly remember this BET Uncut classic … but this video was played for years on the show.



Who can forget the hook …

White girlllllllllls, (Suzy,Jen, and Karen)
Going through my miiiiiind, (Sarah, Jesse and Julie, too)
White girlllllllllls, (Judy,Beth, and Sharon)
Help me unwiiiiiiind (The more I see the more I do)
Don’t tell Minister Farrakhan (That’s right)
He don’t wanna know what’s going on (Ok)
Cuz white girllllllllllls, won’t go away..

No deep message here.  No hidden truth that I’m bringing to the masses.  No movements, directives, or calls to action … just a light skinned guy rapping a whole song about his love for white girls.

Ok … maybe a little analysis …

You gotta commend the guy for not talking bad about black women in the entire video.  Even with the claims of many of the black female members of the SBM family and that I’ve encountered in life (who say they have no problem as long as black women aren’t bashed) … I can’t help but foresee many black women getting mad at this video.

Should this black man be lambasted for his preference in women?  Does the fact that he is half white justify his love?

See Also:  Must Watch Comedy: The Black & Single Video Series

Makes ya think …

Comment(127)

  1. currently at this point in our history the white woman is the better mate for the black man than the american black woman.

    At this point all we really have that we share is anger and skin color. but the white woman has a similar role in society as we do as black men. They are subordinates in their commmunity to the white man…. who is a very dominant figure. The black male is a subordinate of the black female which is the dominant of our own community.

    remember the conversqtion we had here about giving head? holy hanna! like every sista on here followed the stereotype "i dont suck dick" or "only for my husband and dat aint you!" a handful said they do, but in general its viewed as a subordinate act. That conversation wouldnt happen with a group of asian or white women.

    So its almost like we understand more where eachother are comming from.

    The white woman comes from a different background and seeks different things in life. she needs thrills, good love, happiness, compassion for her world. Those arent really traits known for most of our corporate white men… lets keep it real. but it is what the black man is known for.

    the black woman however is driven at most points in her life for education, corporate domination, goals. which never really seems to sit well with the black mans docile happy go lucky nature.

    I feel most of the brothas have an attitude like… leave me alone and let me be happy and I will love you and hug and kiss you always. But if Im on the couch playing Xbox when my nubian princess comes home… she would have a total look of disgust and view it is non aggressive and unattractive.

    An argument that some black women will use it "white women take your shit!!!" but its the attitude that black men give "shit" is why we dont make good mates for eachother. Trust me, I lived with a woman who is as white as you can get, not an ounce of soul was in the woman… when you spend day to day with ANY woman fellas, they are going to nag and going to not put up wit your shit. But the white woman in general has the same goals as the black man so its getting yelled at for different "shit."

    Oh and the black man has that self esteme problem. So its good to feed our ego, most of us can get rattled and have lapses of confidence. Ya a cheery white woman is never lacking for spiffy happy things to say. Its a role she naturally wants to play (cheerleader) and its a type of support black men need for success.

    what the black man does NOT need, is a woman who will get in his face and poke her fingers in his forehead while she scolds him like a puppy.

    A black man dosent need a woman who will ask him questions.. and then cut him off constantly because she feels his word is lesser than hers.

    A black man dosent need a woman whos life goals and self worth are measured by what material things she can acquire that he will usually not generate enough money to afford.

    A black man needs a woman who is going to stay home and help him take care of these kids… and not try and be glamorous and up in the club to show off her Gucci sunglasses.

    A black man needs a woman on his arm as his partner, so when he has to bring her to corporate functions or family outings she wont decide to "check this nigga" or "put this muh fuka in his place" and belittling you, making a scene and demeaning a black man in public.

  2. Im about to do a webisode to my black sistas out there on why they should praise the white woman who is with black men, insted of hating her. Shes out here doing the exact thing you were put on earth to do… raise black children.

    Im tired of black women sucking their teeth at my godsons mother and me every time we sit down for a meal and go to the mall. just like Tecia, this woman works TWO jobs so she can put her black child in special programs for education. She has to get just as upset when her child comes home upset because kids are calling her the N word at school. And she has the same fears and hopes for the future of black american future as the black woman does… because its based on the children she is raising!

    if she is raising the children that your not

    and she is loving the men you never wanted to love..

    and has the same fears and hopes as you….

    how is she your enemy?????

  3. @Hasani – You are killing us with the book commentary. Can you PLEASE sum up your comments for the sake of the readers at work to 10 sentences or less? Geez.

    @SBM – It's just a song. Something dude put out there to make money and sell records… nothing more or less. I don't feel any king of way about it because I'm not the one dating the dude. If a white woman is where he wants to be — peace *two fingers* — go be with that white woman.

  4. @Hasani – "currently at this point in our history the white woman is the better mate for the black man than the american black woman."

    Oh REALLY!!!???!??!? Someone sound the dang alarms around here please! Who in scientific history or the bible said that the white woman is better for the black man??? Please tell me! Because you stating it does not make it factual. Why is it that you seem to "degrade" black women without "trying to be obviously offensive"??? I don't understand.

  5. I'm still heated over here — and I'm not even close to being an angry black women as you like to call African American Women in general Hasani.

    It amazes me that you generalize black women the way that you do. Yes, there are SOME who are career driven and care less about making a home and having children. However, there are more of us (and trust that I know plenty) that want that home, wants that healthy family, wants that BLACK man to be a MAN (take the color out of the equation), and wants to be happy and support her man like Michelle Obama is doing for her husband Barack!

    Get it straight.

    It's the dark skinned white man (also known as brothas who subconsciously WISH they were white) who seem to have a problem with a black woman that's able to have a career, take care of her husband and raise her kids accordingly.

  6. oh and SCREW the bible. You only seem to use the bible when it suits you and never carry it out to the letter.

    and if we want to use science as a reason…. we are supposed to be spreading out the gene pool and not making it more narrow. I almost had a date this year with a woman…. found out few months later she was me cousin!!!

    See thats the problem.

    I praise a white woman… and you not only have to degrade me, but you claim I am degrading you.

    this is why your not making ideal partners for us, it is reinforcing my point….. but I do love you.

  7. and wants to be happy and support her man like Michelle Obama is doing for her husband Barack!

    barack obama is a half african half white male…… thats not a black american. One thing I have learned in the past year is that african culture is quite different from our own and thus we cant clasify them with us.

    But anyway…. michelle is great, but she married outside of her culture, so i dont see your problem… your contradicting yourself by stating this.

  8. @Hasani – Boi, you are something else.

    You can praise whoever your little heart desires to praise. If a white woman is what makes your earth worm move… go for it! I can't see any black woman in her right mind wanting the likings of you anyway! Uhhh, you make me want to gag when you allow such ignorance to come out of your mouth. Everyone has a preference and if a WHITE WOMAN is your preference… so be it. But stop dissing black women. Is your mother or grandmother not black???

    Sigh. It's too early in the morning for this. Best wishes to you Hasani and your future white queen.

  9. ok…the hook is dope it was sampled from ??????? God this is bothering me. I usually know this stuff.

    Hasani white women have never been my enemy. If that was the case I would have never gotten an education. We don't need no extra extra today. Can we just have some peace in the valley.

  10. @Hasani – You are one ignorant mofo. I don't need to "check you or put you in your place"… you're not that important/relevant.

    Enjoy your day!

  11. @Ms. Freckles: I think he gets something out of inflaming us. It happens on a daily basis… I wouldn't even respond.

  12. @Nicki – I'm not phased by Hasani's ignorance; he's a nobody hoping that one day the white man will accept him as one of their own. To each his or her own.

  13. Freckles you amaze me…… you claim your being stereotyped… then portray the very same stereotype you claim you dont have….

    I have said nothing to you, and nothing to disrespect you but you have called me ignorant and referred to me as being unattractive.

    Good job is making what every black man who dosent date black women at all like ethan say about you.

    Talk about ignorance??!!?!! holy fuck….

    thats about as stupid as the LA riots.

    Reporter "why are you rioting and destroying buildings and looting?"

    Random negro #7: because black people get no justice they treat us like savages

    so you act like the stereotype that you claim oppresses you… but want to call others ignorant?

    well isnt THAT ironic Alanis Morrisette?

    Still lookin where I diss you… but can find many instances of you dissin me. As for black woman not wanting me…. thats a joke right? do you seriously think guys like me ever have a problem getting a woman of ANY color??? it may be a tad arrogant on my part, but lets be honest here. your just talkin out your ass with that one. more ignorance. but I guess the black women I date are somehow "stupid" because they date me… ya know dumb women with their PHD's and all..

  14. this is a joke right? We cant praise the white woman without you getting upset like someone is putting you down?

    are we fucking TWELVE in here?

    you dont want your sister to get a toy unless you get one too?

    Im still lookin for where I dissed anyone other than the white male?

    and comeback is right. the white woman is NOT the black womans enemy…… but dont get me started on the white man.

    but I digress… I must not know what im talkin about, your angry and upset… perhaps you should jump in my face and yell at me and call me names and "check this nigga"

  15. @Hasani – I said stop dissing BLACK WOMEN. I don't see anywhere is my previous post calling you unattractive… sounds like your insecurities speaking up on that one buddy.

    You made a general statement about BLACK women and what do ya know! I happen to be a black woman. So that means you're being disrespectful to me as well as all other black women. So again I'll wish you a great day because I'm done entertaining you and the bullshit. Enjoy your day honey.

  16. @HNIC… your thought process is so ass backward i cant believe that i am even addressing you with commentary. i would like to give you the benefit of the doubt and think that this is just your blog character that youve created. but if i were to ever meet you, and you had these same assinine beliefs, i would be sure to pull apart your illogical arguments apart one by one.

    oh and at your comment #16…. you stay talking about all the women that want you… who cares. this is the internet, you cant prove that shit, not even by saying everyday how you went on 49 dates in a year. once again who gives an eff about the get.

    but honestly, i am SO over the interracial dating thing. its a non-issue these days. who cares.

  17. @FeFe – I totally concur with you. I'm beginning to believe Hasani is someone he wants the blog world to see but seriously doubt he presents himself as such an ass in real life. But as I stated before — to each his or her own.

    LOL… all I can do is laugh because it's hilarious and pitiful all at the same time.

  18. Hassni … What the f*ck man. Please don't speak for all black men anymore because your just way too off nowadays. You think white women actually have more in common? Negro, you've sadly lost you mind.

    Lastly, stop with the damn essays. This isn't your blog and you have written 3 times what I did.

  19. @Ms. Freckles: its funny how folks are bold over the internet… there is NO WAY he would get all these PhD black women after they hear him speak… no way jose

    but as for black women… I have some tips for us on my blog today… check it out

  20. ***putting my clinical goggles on***

    ok part of the problem is that i think people don't have healthy outlets for expression. Hasani I challenge you to put together this webisode, it doesn;t have to be about white women but something, to channel this need to be heard at the expense of inciting drama.

  21. How bout we just choose to ignore his comments.. i just pass them by .. I never read them .. and I will continue to do that today. Anyway.. SBM .. I dont think the women of SBM.net care about this particular topic.

  22. I just think it doesn't freaking matter. I'd like to be with a black man, cool if he wants to be with a white woman.

    Beyond that due to Hasani's Ph.D dissertation I will read from here on down.

  23. @Ms. Freckles: I agree.

    @Fefe Fatale: I TOTALLY second that. And again, when someone is always bigging up themselves UNSOLICITED, who are they trying to convince?????

    @SBM: Thank you for speaking up on this man. It's getting ridiculous.

  24. @ SBM – Thank you for "checking Hasani" so he wouldn't be intimidated by a black woman doing it. And it was hella classy that way you did it too! Kudos!

    @ FeFe – The internet is a way for SOME people to become who they WANT to be but too ashamed of being in public.

    @ Jolie – Great idea. I just allow myself to sometimes get sucked into the debate with him.

    @ Comeback – LOL @ goggles. The honor code is what's up!

  25. @everyone…I have an idea, let's just try it for today and see how things pan out. It's easy to do…IGNORE HASANI'S IGNORANT A$$!! I mean, let's face it, we've all come to know the following about this young man:

    1. He can't write his opinion in a succinct and grammatically correct manner

    2. He is quite often contradictory

    3. He just says shyt to piss us off and start arguments

    The thing is, I read Hasani's comment (well ok, the first few sentences….i have work to do and besides i'm smart but not smart enough to decode that ill-written garbage) and while my brow furrowed, i didn't get angry…wanna know why…cuz I gives nary a damn what that boy thinks about me or other black women. wanna know why? cuz for one, I don't want him (not implying he asked me to want him) and from the looks of previous blogs none of the black women on here want him either. Furthermore, his sentiment is not one shared by the masses, if it were, I would never see black women with beautiful black kings on their arms…black men wouldn't be chasing my sexy black ass down the street ERYDAY!

    So…to your question SBM…I give not a damn about the dude in that video, he can like him a white girl…and so can Sani…cuz for every black dude that's hollerin about how they want a white girl instead of me, there are 50 black dudes trying to get at me, 15 white dudes in my office alone undressing me with their eyes when they think I'm not looking, a couple indian dudes asking me for my number at the dry cleaners, the chinese dude flirting with me under the guise of teaching me some mandarin, and a world full of men from other cultures that would love to get a lick of my chocolate. Let it be…do what you wanna do and screw who you wanna screw.

    In the meantime, my beautiful black sistahs (lol)…please ignore Hasani…there is no point in debating with a fool who can't hear past his own thoughts to consider the outlook of others and owns not the intellectual tools to even express his own opinions clearly.

    Sorry I had to insult your intelligence, Sani baby…but I'm getting a little more than tired of your consistent ranting hatred towards black women. You can choose to disagree with people without insulting them. I really wish you'd learn that b/c I get the feeling behind all that anger and underneath all those misspelled words and bubble gum wrapper wisdom, you're probably a good guy with some decent insight on life…and that would do people more good that what you're currently giving out.

  26. white girls are cool. i'm just mad they cut off BET UNCUT

    ***cues up video "what that thang smell like"***

    whysoserious!??!

  27. on another note…i have a white homegirl, we've been friends since highschool and she's always dated black men (can you blame her? MMMH) she recently came on my myspace page and asked me why black women would get so angry at her when she was with a black dude. Now, I am not one to get cross at the sight of a black man with a Becky on his arm. But I did put myself in those women's shoes…what about that would make me angry? I put it in a blog on my myspace page, I'm not sure if it's public….it's called "Interracial Relationships and the Black Female Bystander Pt 2"…I'll see if I can post a link…if not, my myspace name is Exotic Southerner.

    P.S. Part 1 was the answer to some of my friends asking me why more American born black women don't or have been so hesitant to date outside of our race.

  28. This post was very simple…the black man wasn't dissing black women until someone (we know who he is) decided to do so in his comments. The person clearly has some hatred towards black women that can't be resolved over a blog and would require some clinical help from a professional.

    SBM thank you for addressing it.

  29. OK. I said I wouldnt address him but I will:

    Hasani: What do you think your MOTHER would think if she read your comments on todays blog? Do you think your mother would agree?

    Just a question ..

    Black men who talk so much ish bout black women always makes me wonder "so is he talking about his mama?"

  30. @Nicki Sunshine & Comeback – Nicki is correct the hook is from Grandmaster Flash or Melle Mel's song White Lines.

  31. @Why so serious: Man … I miss BET uncut too! Remember Tip Drill? There was also a prequal or sequal to "what that thang smell like" but I can't remember it for the life of me. Damn, now I'm depressed thinking of how they took it off the air.

  32. BTW, really wasn't looking to incite real dialog for once in my life. Honestly, just remembered that stupid song and had to share it.

    I can put up My Dougie again instead.

  33. Freckles said @Hasani – I said stop dissing BLACK WOMEN. I don’t see anywhere is my previous post calling you unattractive
    but post #10 she says


    I can’t see any black woman in her right mind wanting the likings of you anyway! Uhhh, you make me want to gag…..

    oh in jersey we dont really think of that as a loving nurturing statement…. perhaps we should ask a white woman.. or a woman of any other nationality what they think.

    You made a general statement about BLACK women and what do ya know! I happen to be a black woman.
    Im still looking for where I said anything to degrade all black women…. perhaps thats your insecure nature talkin… but with my little command of the english language… ya know.. with me being a DUMB and IGNORANT and unecucated or whatever demeaning words you would use to describe me….. I seem to be typing in english and I still dont see it typed out where I said anything to put your american black female culture "down"

    " So that means you’re being disrespectful to me as well as all other black women. So again I’ll wish you a great day because I’m done entertaining you and the bullshit. "

    oh for heavens sakes…. perhaps we should check this nigga!!
    please…. come to jersey and put your finger in my face or slap me upside my head in the mall like we are your dog.

    .

  34. Good Morning! ….this ain't Vietnam but still… (hands up if you know where that's from)

    Should this black man be lambasted for his preference in women?

    No. Hey, I prefer blk men but doesn't mean I dislike any other race. I've considered venturing out a time or two.

    Does the fact that he is half white justify his love?

    Justify? Um…don't think he needs to justify it. Maybe his momma is white n he love's his momma? *shrugs*

  35. really??? who gives a fucc??? and whomeva does should go play in dirt!!! as long as humans are with humans what damn difference should it make??? personally, im staying within my race, cuz thats what i want to do + i loves me a big black man for example michael dewayne vick…sweet baby jesus…but ummm…no once can convince me to date otherwise, so why would i or should u waste ur time offering ur 23 cents on what a person decides to do with theirs…

  36. Whenever the interracial issue of black men and women come up there are always generalizations. No one seems to come up with specific reasons why. I have several friends and family members that have kids and dated outside of our race. In fact my cousin just married a white woman earlier this month. From my experience there are a few recuuring reasons all of these dudes stepped out. In matter of fact these reasons also apply to dudes I wasn't close to but knew cordially.

    1) P**sy is P**sy. They dont care where they get it from as long as they get it.

    2) Black Women dont want them. They try, try, try, and try but black women turn them down constantly. A lot of times these are guys that like women that look like Beyonce, Vanessa Williams, etc. They also love latino and mixed women.

    3) They are lames and losers. These are typically the black guys that date WT women. IMHO these dudes are corny and a lot of times they are losers, lames, and bums. For some reason they can always find white women to put up with their B.S. These are the dudes that are looking for someone to put up with their B.S.

    4) Black Women dissed them when they were in their late teens to early 20s. These are usually the professional cats. Some are cool and some are lame. They tried to get at black women all the time but were constantly dissed. Now that they have finished school and have a decent paying job and have grown up a bit they attract black women. But they wrote black women off a while ago. They go where they are wanted. And black women have displayed a pattern of not wanting them.

    5) They didnt grow up in a black environment. If they're not from the hood or grew up around predominantly black people their views and taste in women are not going to be the same as someone who did.

    Now this is what I have personally seen repeatedly. This does not speak for all black men that date white women.

  37. jolie fatale said :""Hasani: What do you think your MOTHER would think if she read your comments on todays blog? Do you think your mother would agree?""

    my mother will be the first person to tell YOU to your own face that she agrees with her sons philosophy about family, love and honor.
    my mom would whoop my sisters ass with a wooden spoon if she ever touched her husband and at 32 years old dragged her out of a room filled with people when she started to go off on her husband in front of guest.

    so…. did you have any other questions about my mother?

    so what would your father think about you saying men are items that should treat you like a princess but you not treat them like a prince? what would you do if some dumb slut slapped your brother? and how would you feel if a girl felt it was her god given right to mock your son and belittle him in a public place…. the boy you raised to be a man treated like a dog because someone elses child feels its amusing.

    I answered for my family…. do the same and dont hate

  38. Glad to see things are chipper as usual around here.

    Hasani I love you but ummmm yeah….

    Bree, well said…you kind of sounded like me for a minute…and lawd knows I don't need these people thinking I have yet another "personality" on this here spot.

    FeFe he likes the attention.

    Freckles…uhhh let's see, Hasani loves this…but it's his right…as long as SBM allows it to flourish then so be it.

    Cuzzo what it do…make sure you have a taste tester for the lunch ole girl is offering.

    Hey Jaclynn…how you doing this morning girl?

    TeenaMarie…what's haaaappenin homie(in my Plies voice)…how is Vick these days…and when is that negro getting out?

    SBM BET's Uncut was a disgrace to our race in the way that it degrading women and men alike…taking it off the air was the smartest decision EVER made over there by the folks.

    Well you all know how I feel about interracial dating so no need for me to delve into it any further…have a good day all.

  39. @HNIC: I'm going to go back to ignoring you in a moment…but I have to do this today because well, you started it. You keep asking innocently "when did i diss black women in general"…so, I'll be kind enough to wade through your crap to point it out for you, being the nice woman that I am. Note the following from your first post:

    "currently at this point in our history the white woman is the better mate for the black man than the american black woman."

    So…you basically just said that if the next black man i meet has a choice between myself and a white woman, he should chose her because she'd be a "better mate." and you don't see that at all as a diss? You don't have any idea why an amazing woman/mate who happens to be black and love black men would take offense to this? Hmmm….You know, you could've just said "i like white women" without saying that white women, in general, are better for black men, in general, than black women, in general…if you see where I'm going with this, you'll see that it probably would've been a better choice to speak to your specific preferences rather than making that blanket "general" statement….toes are stepped on when you walk around with clown shoes buddy.

    "The white woman comes from a different background and seeks different things in life. she needs thrills, good love, happiness, compassion for her world. Those arent really traits known for most of our corporate white men… lets keep it real. but it is what the black man is known for.

    the black woman however is driven at most points in her life for education, corporate domination, goals. which never really seems to sit well with the black mans docile happy go lucky nature."

    So….the implication you're making here is that black women and white women are different in that white women need good love, happiness, and compassion and therefore in comparison black women don't…is that what you think? we don't want those things? You also seem to say that white women and black men alike have a "happy go lucky nature"…and in contrast black women don't. Hmmm…another general statement not founded in any truth. You just turned us into asexual, unhappy, cold-hearted, androids…don't think that would rub some people the wrong way? Again, here's another place where you could've just said "i tend to get along better with white women" rather than throwing black women in that ugly pot.

    "Ya a cheery white woman is never lacking for spiffy happy things to say. Its a role she naturally wants to play (cheerleader) and its a type of support black men need for success."

    Again, by contrast, you're implying black women are cheery…I was actually a cheerleader all through highschool…the captain of my squad no less. I smile most of the day and have spent most of my life laughing. Most of the women around me (black, white, spanish, and chinese) are the same. Don't incenuate that we're that unhappy sweetie…I laugh at you regularly…cuz you're just so damn funny.

    "what the black man does NOT need, is a woman who will get in his face and poke her fingers in his forehead while she scolds him like a puppy.

    A black man dosent need a woman who will ask him questions.. and then cut him off constantly because she feels his word is lesser than hers.

    A black man dosent need a woman whos life goals and self worth are measured by what material things she can acquire that he will usually not generate enough money to afford.

    A black man needs a woman who is going to stay home and help him take care of these kids… and not try and be glamorous and up in the club to show off her Gucci sunglasses.

    A black man needs a woman on his arm as his partner, so when he has to bring her to corporate functions or family outings she wont decide to “check this nigga” or “put this muh fuka in his place” and belittling you, making a scene and demeaning a black man in public."

    …and finally, you just painted a picture of a shallow, angry, neck rolling, domineering black woman…is that really what you think we are all like? I'm just saying, if you go painting pictures like this of us in a conversation with us, you can't expect us not to get offended sweetie pie. Men and women of every race have some distinct characteristics that fall into both categories of desirable and undesirable, but it's beyond unfair for you to constantly point out only those that fall into the matrix of 1.Black women and 2. undesirable…just plain unfair.

    I won't even bother to touch the subsequent comments.

    Nobody is hating on you for loving white girls Sani…we're just asking that you not do so while simultaneously talking shit about a nation full of women you haven't even met. Your comment would have been much more well received (and less verbose) had you simply stated your own preference.

  40. @everyone…on another note…i just want to tell everyone here that yesterday, i saw a woman on the train with a leisure curl…ya'll i couldn't believe it! I didn't realize they still made the products for that. I mean, at first I thought "maybe it's just a natural" but it looked, well, slick…not just wet. I mean, I have a natural which I wet every morning, it never looks slick…and then I thought "well, its raining, maybe she just got rained on and her hair naturally waves up like that" but the rest of her was dry AND she had an umbrella in her hands…sadly I could make no excuse for her and had to conclude that she had a bonafide leisure curl…lawd have mercy!

  41. u know, part of the reason I don't care who dates who, is that no matter who you decide to date, there's some BS you will have to deal with. For instance, one of my homegirls who is white and from London has always dated American black men. She has the same complaints most of my homegirls have…add to that the fact that most of the black men she's dated refused to get serious with her b/c they were just fulfilling a fantasy or playing around but said they could "never be serious with a white woman". The grass is never greener, white women don't have it any easier than we do when it comes to black men…or any men for that matter. I dated a white guy a few years back (he was soooo F-ING SEXXY..miss that boy) anyhoo, he played me out in the very same fashion that black men have…he wasn't special cuz he was white and apparently I wasn't special b/c I was black. In the end, people are people…they've got their pros and cons.

    ***APB*** Teacia, i can't find ur number and ur not on AIM for our daily chat…i have a question, text me b4 i forget what my question is, lol

  42. okay seriously i wish i had the time to read what everyone writes but i just dont. So here it is… i am a white chick (sorry if that is a shock to any of you) and i date mostly black men. why do i date mostly black men? because that's who i am attracted to. I can step into black womens shoes for a minute and i can see why black women get upset about white women dating black men but if we all just dated who we were attracted to instead of worrying about race it wouldnt be as big of a deal. in my "ideal world" people would date someone simply because that is who they are attracted to. Stop worrying about the color of peoples skin start going after who you are attracted to. if we keep spending so much time worrying about what color so and so's significant other is then that is one more thing that is going to always put a divide between races. Why continue to put divides between people?

  43. @QB – I agree but there is waaaaaaaaaaaay too much history that needs to be addressed before we get to that point.

  44. @QB – No one here is saying that a black man shouldn't date a white woman. I feel a person should date whomever they choose. Just don't put down another race (or your own race) while doing it.

    May I ask why you think you are only attracted to black men?

    @Humble – I concur.

  45. @QB…date who ya like chica! Since you didn't get to read the blogs, I'll recap for ya…mostly everyone said they don't care who dates who…HNIC said he likes white women b/c apparently he thinks black women suck (figuratively because i think he pointed out we don't do it literally)…the rest is just folks responding to him. In regards to why some black women get angry about it….i posted a link to a blog I wrote in response to one of my white homegirls' posing the same question to me, i think its in post #36.

    In the meantime, we ain't mad at u for liking black men…seems to me it just means you have good taste. Chocolate anyone?

  46. Hey Teacia…que?….the lunch thing went right over my head…

    Those comments from HNIC somehow make me go into Homer Simpson thinking about donuts mode…did anyone else stop reading after "currently at this point in our history the white woman is the better mate for the black man than the american black woman"

    my brain went into auto "I tol u that [email protected] crazy"

  47. QB I never did respond to your email…it's been kind of busy over here the last few weeks…with me having multiple personalities and all. Your response in the email was cool, but as Humble stated there's way too much history to address before we can all just hold hands while singing a negro spiritual with a country twist(read kumbayah). It is what it is…and we(the black community) need to work out our own shit amongst ourselves before we can begin to embrace the races of all others.

    Humble you couldn't be more dead on with that statement.

    Bree do better…how long have I known you…damn 11 years..it seemed liked yesterday we were all dressed in black ready to raid the boys dorm armed with ketchup and mustard…good ol FAMU!! Oh and I sent you a text…not logging on today b/c I got hella work to do and easily get sidetracked as you can see.

    Cuzzo, yeah I stopped after the 3rd line I think and just didn't read the others…and ur new homie invited you to lunch…just don't get up and leave ur food unattended…lol.

  48. So…you basically just said that if the next black man i meet has a choice between myself and a white woman, he should chose her because she’d be a “better mate.” and you don’t see that at all as a diss?

    so wait…. because I said someone else is better at something… thats disrespecting you?
    look at yoru OWN CHOICE OF WORDS…
    "so you basically said"
    no… all you hear is "OMFG WHITE WOMAN DIE DIE DIE INSECURE"

    if I said all black women are dumb… thats a put down.
    If I say the mets have great hitting…. Im not putting down the yankees.
    you dont OWN black men….

    so now that we see you will react first, hear what you want to hear insted of hearing what a black man is saying…. do we even have to go any further into why we are not ideal mates in this generation?
    How many times does a woman take something a man says on this blog and blow it out of porportion or read what SHE wants to HEAR and not what we say?

    well guess what, same happens in real life.

    And how you will jump up and bash me first and think rationally later???
    ya that would be everyday life as well.

    its not a genetic thing… its a cultural thing. I seem to get along perfectly with African women and West indian women and even Afro- Dominican. but then again I get along well with american born black women as well… im quite charming 🙂

    I didnt think anyone could find an instance of me bashing or disrespecting all black women or even a type, I just said my opinion about white women…. dont h8
    here let me further narrow down for ya…

    the middle class suburban white woman is the ideal mate for the middle class suburban black male.

    I dun really know or care what goes on in da hood, and I could give a fuck what happens in high society… i care about my own.

  49. Hasani really…when do you find the time sweetheart to rant like this…don't you have 2 jobs and hella extra curricular activities. Can you for once say, let's just agree to disagree and keep it moving…or are you really not capable?!?!?

    …you're a smart guy…i know you're capable.

  50. its amazing people will say "date whomever you choose" because they dont want to sound like a bigot….

    but if they saw you in the mall with a white woman they would look at you like a failure.

    how am I failing if I have a job a woman who loves me and raising a black child in a home with 2 parents to guide him… and your single?

    Its ok to "love whom you want" as long as its not in your face and as long as its a man you wouldnt date eh?

    its the internet you really should keep it real since nobody here can judge you or will ever know you. I know alot of you hate the black man with the white woman…. just by your reactions. notice the anger just through text… writing white woman in all caps… such hate and contempt.

    but if there is really love for the black man…. wouldnt you want a white woman to love him like you wouldnt want to? if you have a brother and he had a white woman who was ideal for him and a black woman who was ok… but had some faults… your saying you want him to be with the black woman just because… shes BLACK!? thats silly.

    and trying to dismiss me by saying "he must love white women and hate black women" is ignorant.

    ive dated more black women this year that you will have total dates in your miserable life. I am an admitted bigot because I will go after a black woman before I will go after a white woman just based off the color of skin factor. but what and whom I choose to share my bed with has not much to do with the truth of the situation. if you dont like not being the #1 ideal mate for black men…. change.

    but its more glamorous to be a ahem "strong" (lol) black corporate woman…. than to be a compassionate and vulnerable lover so why even begin to go down that road? to fix black love we need to start with our daughters and sons…. which is the real reason why you shouldnt hate on that white woman… because shes the mother of your childs mate.

  51. @ Shelia

    "The person clearly has some hatred towards black women that can’t be resolved over a blog and would require some clinical help from a professional. "

    Im impressed that alot of people can really read over the noise and extract serious truths. It is a talent. And this is gospel. If your life is truly full of women you like to date, then you have no need in going on these diatribes about what's missing in the black community. We all know that the only change comes through "BEING IT". If black love is what you want. Then let your life be the testimony to what is possible. Thats how you make me a believer. And i'll drink all the kool laid you got.

    Anything else suggests serious issues that this blog will never be able to resolve-we already seen indications of this.

  52. You know…someone on this site is real funny…and it's AH-MAZING to me that everyone sees it but him…but hey, Einstein stood alone at times too…maybe you're a genius and we don't even know it.

    I'm not going to go into a tirade about your sad response to my verbal victory…but i will say this..don't play innocent love…you did not SIMPLY state your love for white women. That would've only taken a sentence or two. But you took more than several more to give many examples of why you don't like black women…nobody asked you for that. THAT is why people are annoyed with you and why people are getting defensive.

    And yes sweetie…telling me that a white woman is better qualified to love a black man b/c she's happy and positive and gives head and i'm none of these things is a put-down and will, as such, be taken offesively…especially when it ain't true. Read what you wrote hasani…i didn't read into it or add anything to it…your own homeboys can't even cosign b/c it was so left field…Im sure even my white girlfriends would be appalled at your statements. All I'm saying is…if you feel a white woman is better qualified to love YOU…that's fine….but don't go saying they are better qualified to love ALL/MOST BLACK MEN…b/c well, that's just not true…just like no of us is "better" qualified to love ALL/MOST of anyone.

    Ok, I'm headed to the gym…then to meet my best guy friend b/c I was nice enough to make him a huge pot of spaghetti, he's a bachelor and doesn't cook much so i make him dinners from time to time…(wait, I'm being nice to a black man…does that mean I'm really a white woman? well, i mean, i do like giving head, i am a good mother, i'm usually in a cheerful mood, i don't curse men out in public…oh shyt..i've been checking the black box all my life and it turns out i'm really not! augh!)

  53. Teacia: two jobs and a website and boyscout competition this weekend, and marrying off my baby brother this weekend, and boxing, and weight lifting.. and dating lets not forget the most important part of life!

    I find time to rant because I have too much time to think and too much passion in my heart.
    all that and I am an editorialist, im supposed to have an opinion that can be expressed in a wall of text right?

    hows that new boyfriend workin out for ya? he white black or dominican? sounds like a brotha if he eatin the kitty like that… we are supplicants like that and all 😉

  54. Hasani the boyfriend is SBM and last I checked he was black, well actually no he's from the islands…keep up, we outted ourselves yesterday amidst a cloud of hate…although you've known now for a good minute…it's okay, they all know now…and thankfully are all over it…but we're great actually…this is the last time I will speak directly about him though…thanks for asking.

    …and I understand having passion in your heart, surprisingly I can relate…but why not use that passion to bring us together instead of tearing us apart. I know you feel it's the truth but it's your truth Sani baby. Please can we just calm it down for a while…just a bit…pleeeeeeaaaase.

  55. @Breelicious

    "Ok, I’m headed to the gym…then to meet my best guy friend b/c I was nice enough to make him a huge pot of spaghetti, he’s a bachelor and doesn’t cook much so i make him dinners from time to time…(wait, I’m being nice to a black man…does that mean I’m really a white woman? well, i mean, i do like giving head, i am a good mother, i’m usually in a cheerful mood, i don’t curse men out in public…oh shyt..i’ve been checking the black box all my life and it turns out i’m really not! augh!)"

    Sounds like a winner to me. But maybe I dont count b/c I dont think of BW that way.

    p.s. Can you send a plate of spaghetti my way?

  56. if you think praise to a white woman is bashing ALL BLACK WOMEN… they your a fool.

    theres really no other way to put it.

    go to dictionary.com and look up "insecure" and "paranoia"

    no im serious… go LOOK UP the actual words meanings and not what you think it means.

    I wouldnt state my love for white women because I love all women, not just white women… your just being insecure and hearing what you want. you dont OWN black men so a white woman has just as much right to be with us and make us happy as you do. you sound ignorant… do I look like a puppy or pair of shoes you can just decide to own?

    according to the divorce rate and single rate of black women…. you need to do a better job of owning me then. bring the love and leave the hostility at home my sista, Ill be waiting at the altar.

  57. Humble one…. ya I 2nd that, bring yo ass this way with that spagetti and motherhood skills… leave the "check dit nigga and put him in his place" attitude and I will love you forever plus one day and trust me the princess cut solitaire will be fitting of a queen 😉

  58. man, nobody can tell me nothin bad about black women after what Mrs. Obama done done Monday night. Black, white, latino, asian, indian, martian, that is the dream woman for any man. She held her husband and entire family down. The more I think about it, I see black women do that a lot yo.

    That got me thinking about all the women in my life who have those traits. I'm really blessed. I was gonna be on the "never get married" tip. But seein a family like that inspires me more to be a leader for my fam and community. So I can attract a woman that will be the same.

    I appreciate all women. Their femininity makes life great. But especially black women, because I know what they have to go through. Gyeah.

  59. @why so serious – I see more women impressed by her. I am just wondering if women are really willing to give what she has gave to be like her. Barack was a intern when she met him. She played a role in who he is today. I dont know if enough sisters are willing to be with a dude like that.

  60. Humble I think if a woman is able to see the soul and greatness of a man before he reaches his prime she will definitely be open to nurturing and supporting that greatness. So I guess my take on it is whether or not men are able to allow themselves to be nurtured…or do you see it as us trying to "change you." I'm sure Barack changed a lot of things about himself to get and keep Michelle because he saw the greatness in her and how that could and would affect his life in a positive way. I mean seriously his autobiography is no walk in the park, he gave up a lot to win her love and support.

    So actually what I'm trying to say is that we'll nurture your greatness if you allow us too, but that will only happen if you feel we are worth the changes you need to make for us both to reach our full potential…we know women change all the time for a man, but it's not as commonplace on the other end.

  61. @HNIC…since I'm bored and have finished my work for the day, I'll play along with you. For the umpteeth time, you DID NOT just praise white women. I like white women too, they're cool folks…even went to Aruba for a week with a bunch of them. Buf if I said "I take white women as friends because they don't have drama"…then it assumes that women outside of that group (hence black women) do have drama. Let's try it a different way. Let's say that you and SBM are in a room together and there are seats next to both of you. I walk in, stand for a second and sit down next to SBM. I then say "SBM, I sat next to you because you don't stink"….that statement implies that the other person in the room does. What I could've said was "i just wanted to sit next to you SBM" and avoided being offensive to the other individual in the room. See how that works? If the question had been "do you black ladies like white men" and we had responded "yes, we like white men b/c we they know how to be men without whining about having their egos stroked. They know how to maintian their own manhood while treating us like women and simultaneously praising us for our own achievements without feeling threatened." then I would fully expect the black men on here to take offense because the statement implies the opposite is true of black men. That is exactly what you did…and as much as i love a debate, more than anything, i just want you to admit it.

    While at the gym, I thought about today's discussion and decided I should apologize for calling you ignorant. It isn't nice and I don't really condone name calling. I'm sincerely sorry for calling you ignorant and I won't do it again.

    Now your turn…you don't even have to type it out, just cut and paste "I'm sorry to the black women on here for saying that white women are better for black men than you all are and for implying that black women are unhappy, mean, unwilling to take care of their kids, selfish, unsupportive, etc. I really just meant that I personally prefer white women and have had good experiences with them."

  62. okay I am going to get in trouble for this b/c i am not on break yet but I just had to say

    PREACH ON TEACIA! Women are always willing to support and nurture their man its just a matter of will our men let us support and nurture them – and will they show us appreciation in return? We are going to push our men to be the best they can be (that was super corny) but if they push us away because of it what can we do?

  63. @Teacia – I agree with everything you said. Lately though I have seen women that aint givng s**t but demanding everything. They give when it is convienient while the man is sacrificing and making the extra effort. I have just heard the statement "thats just how I am" too many times. I didn't read Barack's book. What did he give up to win her love?

  64. @Humble and HNIC: Spaghetti for all! LOL…I'm a sharing person, you come my way, you're bound to get something, even if it's just a good hug.

    @HNIC: I'm not the "check dat nigga" type of girl, though I am a bit slick with the tongue, blame that on my Libra-hood (something Teacia and I have in common). What I hope you get from this discussion, is that I'm really not trying to "put you in your place" just get you to see how some of the things you say can be offensive to others. So, from now on, read my comments as if I'm a girl in your virtual clique just trying to show you something, not the neck rollin' chic that wants to "check you". Again, I won't insult your intelligence anymore and I ask that you be mindful of the insults you dole out in generalization.

    @Teacia…that's why you're my girl!

  65. @ Bree I dont have time to play along with Hasani but did he really say that white women dont have drama? cause if he did i can send him a huge group of white women that have TONS of drama and he can deal with them. :o)

    @Ms Freckles – i have spent the last however many hours trying to figure out a decent answer to your question and the truth is i don't really know. I like tall, handsome, athletic men, my first boyfriend was black and ever since then that seems to be who i am attracted to. I think it might have something to do also with the fact that I am a big girl and it's harder to find white men that meet the tall, handsome, athletic requirements that are also attracted to big girls… also I have been interested in black history for as long as i can remember – all the way back to 6th grade when i truly honestly seriously had a teacher ask me why i wanted to read about Malcolm X and Martin Luther King Jr and she didnt understand why we had their books in our library to start with… so I think for some reason there has always been a natural attraction to black people in general all the way from who i want to socialize with to who i want to date… i can't explain it. it's just me.

    @Teacia I am glad to know that the reason you havent replied was because you were busy. Was a little worried I had offended you. :o)

    @everyone my theory on dealing with issues of the past is that they are just that – issues of the past. this might be where my "whiteness" shines through in that I can't see it from the prespective of black people (or any other minority) but i am truly of the mindset that if we dwell on the past we will never get past it. and ia m in NO WAY saying that what happened in the past is okay or that we should forget about it – i just truly believe we should pick up the pieces and move on…

    wow i think this is the biggest comment i have ever left. :o)

  66. Guys like to be "nurtured" They do not like to be "controlled" or manipulated. There is a very thin line. There's also a very thin line between "nurturing" and "enabling". If the reasons for this aren't altruistic, the whole thing can fall apart.

    She made him step his game up. Every man has to rise to that challenge at least once. How else is progress going to get made?

  67. QB girl no you're cool. In all honesty I got like 60 emails that day…read yours and keep saying I would get back with you but totally forgot about it until uhhhh my bf(it seems so weird typing that now) asked me about it. But I took no offense at all, I'm able to see all sides of an argument and approach it rationally…I think that's why Eathan and I became GREAT friends(shout out to my Texas homie)…we all won't get to that place of serenity until we learn how to communicate with one another.

    But QB sweetie, the past is a part of our makeup, it's what makes us who we are, for some it drives a sense of pride, for others a sense of hatred, but we have to all learn to come together somewhere in the middle.

    Better yet, hit me up again so I can save ur contact info, that way I won't have to wade through hundreds of emails to find it.

    Awww thanks Bree…you know I love you girl. 😉

  68. "She made him step his game up. Every man has to rise to that challenge at least once. How else is progress going to get made?"

    …why so serious i think i love you…lol.(i kid, i kid…but uhhh not really)

    *sidenote* dammit, i don't think i'll be finished with my work before i leave for class…*sighing*…i guess i'll be working from home AGAIN tonight…gotta get my internet addiction under control and ASAP!

    …ok back to work i go.

  69. @Teacia – i just sent you an email about something else so you should have my contact info now. Let me know if you didnt get it.

    And i do understand that the past is part of what makes people who they are and part of peoples history and i think its important that we dont forget the past I just also think it's important that we spend more time looking forward and trying to make progress rather than spending time dwelling on the wrongs that the white people have done to the whole world (not just black people – my ancestors have really screwed over pretty much everyone… did i just say that?)

  70. @Breelicious – Thank You. The love is appreciated but the food is appreciated and loved even more. Can I get some garlic bread with that too.

  71. @QB…unfortunately for us, our "past" isn't exactly that…the stuff still happens on a daily basis..on large and small scales. We'd all love to move on, but unfortunately the history of this country is still persisting in recreating itself in the present that it makes it near impossible. I wish it were more simple…i sincerely do.

    @Humble…well, if you're in tha A, hungry, and I've cooked, you're free to partake.

  72. @Breelicious – Thank you for the offer. I starting to think I've been sleeping on southern women for to long. Why is it that so many of you cook? I'm just not use to that.

  73. lol…cuz our mommas cooked…call me crazy but I prefer my food over the crap they dole out at fast food and "casual dining" restaurants and then try to sell for an arm and a leg. Besides, I feel better knowing that 90% of my little girl's meals passed through my hands before making it to her plate…and not just because the cashier at the window handed me the bag, haha.

    word to the wise: don't sleep on southern women…i have yet to hear a man complain about some southun' lovin'.

  74. Bree: I second that one with a *triple hi-five*…sleeping on us will get you NOWHERE…lol.

    Ok folks, I'm off to pick up the kid from school and then off to class. *sighing*…it has to get easier one day.

    BEHAVE…oh who am i kidding…lol.

  75. @Teacia…better wake up…Seriously…we're the best things ever…I think Kenny Chesney said when he said once you go Southern, May the good Lord bless you you'll never go back

  76. @Teacia&Bree: the southern charm thing is so true. We are gems!

    kinda OT, but…Would you ladies date a black man who never dated a black woman? My 22yr old brother's interest won't entertain him because of that, even though I know she likes him. My bro is biracial by the way…don't know if that matters.

  77. @Breelicious & Teacia – I am starting to see the light. I thought it was just the caribbean and canadian women that had it going on. I guess southern women are doing their thing too. You got to keep in mind that where I am the southern women came her over 60 years ago. Although you can find a few people that sound like they just came here from the south yesterday.

  78. "Guys like to be “nurtured” They do not like to be “controlled” or manipulated. There is a very thin line. There’s also a very thin line between “nurturing” and “enabling"

    @ why wow…i need to go to starbucks and do a latte "marination" on this. I think too timing plays a big part. I've said this before. Some people are just your rite of passage and sometimes people inspire you to change for your next man or woman. Im sure my ex is pretty dam#n mad that I'm working on being the best woman I can be not only for myself but the next man.

    Sometimes the devine order is that you are supposed to be put through the fire with someone else FOR someone else. if the tables were turned I might be mad as he#ll about it.

  79. @Belle – I have dated a black guy before who, before me, only dated white women. I will say I was always wondering why the hell he was dating me, but I was very young then and a little less secure. He and I had a GREAT time together, his previous white girls had absolutely nothing to do with us. I mean, it's not like he was tainted or anything because of having dated white women. And for a few years after we stopped seeing each other, every white girl he dated thereafter was insecure about me and slightly jealous of whatever it was we had…go figure. I think it has more to do with the unknown…I knew nothing about white women at the time, hadn't spent a great deal of time with any of them except the ones I had gone to highschool with. Tell your bro, he should be looking for women who aren't insecure. Who he's dated before has nothing to do with her. When she grows up, maybe he can circle back.

  80. Now your turn…you don’t even have to type it out, just cut and paste “I’m sorry to the black women on here for saying that white women are better for black men than you all are and for implying that black women are unhappy, mean, unwilling to take care of their kids, selfish, unsupportive, etc. I really just meant that I personally prefer white women and have had good experiences with them.”

    your assuming too much.

    I didnt say "OMFG ALL BLACK WOMAN ARE MEAN AND DONT TAKE CARE OF KIDS!! WTF SON WORD!!!"

    thats you being self conscious again.

    I said… and ill repeat it again

    “currently at this point in our history the middle class white woman is ideal mate for the middle class black man"

    At this point in our history there is too much similarity in the roles a black man plays and the role the white woman plays.

    What I find amazing is I make a statement, and you disagree…. so you act like the very stereotype that makes us non idea mates to express your anger.

    but before you say "oh its an isolated incident" look yesterday how SBM made a post about bald kitty and some sista took offense and went off calling him snaggle tooth and fat.

    I will never say all black women go off on all black men. My women dont go off on me. and I have made it clear to miss alaska if she ever goes off on me again Im gonna knock her ass through a wall. And then she will be a spinster.

    BUt its just friggin scary that you use the same stereotype that you claim to refute. Hell I never even said anything about black women dont take care of babies and go off on their men. you brought that up.

    the 1996 knicks were the only team that could match up well enough to beat the jordan led Chicago bulls dynasty. Because of starks and EWing they had defenders in the correct possition to thward the bulls defense, unlike the 87 laker Dynasty which did not have defensive stoppers to thward Jordan and pippen.

    I never said the lakers suck. As we all know the lakers were more successful than the knicks, won more championships and were media icons. What I said was in my opinion the knicks had the best playstyle and setup to beat the jordan bulls. and I damn sure never said "OMFG THE LAKERS FRANCHISE IS THE WORST IN THE WORLD!!!"

  81. yo, I invite you brothas to come to NYC and catch some of these corporate NYC sistas. you would shoot yourselves.
    Like seriously…. you think women like comeback and Omorosa are not real but the type is highly common up here. i have dated about 30 of that "type" this year and still have not found a Michelle Obama.

    Actually I lie… I found a michele obama but she is from another culture. Miss ER is more like obama than any woman I have ever met. She is twice the superstar that I could and would ever be, yet she does everything in her power to make me look better than her in all situations.
    whats funny is, when I tell stories about how well miss ER treats me, my "sistas" have nothing nice to say about her….. because they assumed she was white by my description of her. I was told she is using me…. and she is making me her handsome buff black "puppet"

    its not the case of an evil white woman manipulating a black man… its a true woman nurturing her king to be an emperor.

    History has mad you guys ideal partners but where you are right now and what we need right now are not the same. I wish we did, but if I were to say the things that are keeping us from being ideal mates I would be called bashing you…. hell I didnt even bash you and you claim i bashed you…. and you bashed me.. not just one black woman… several of you bashed me and called me ignorant or stupid or not worth talkin about.

  82. here my coach always told me to use the carrot after using the stick.

    The black woman has the capeability…. in my opinion…. to be the most domanint mate in the world.

    Looks and body wise I would put the american black woman just below those fly philipino women… for best looking women in the world of ANY culture.

    The american black woman is better than the white woman at getting what she wants out of life as far as success and education. we come from adversity even in the suburbs… a sista will push harder than any other american born culture to be a corporate and educational success. look at this blog… how many of yall make enough money to have your own condo and drive a nice car….. may not seem like much to you but we are in an economic recession.

    I think the american black woman deserves a better mate for what she needs than this generation of black men can provide. we are to docile and not cunning enough and are more like our mothers…. you guys are not compassionate enough and more driven to be #1 at almost any cost…. much like our fathers.

    once again…. we failed to meet in the middle and be like our grandparents.

    my dream is we raise young black… half black or even all white … children to not follow in our footsteps and to make better people of our culture.

  83. @Hasani:

    @Belle: you're welcome

    @Teacia: um, i just noticed that you called me something you shouldn't have and in mixed company..stay in ya lane, LMAO.

  84. Well now that I have read Hasani volumes 1500-2504

    I will say this…I am quite capable of being the Michelle type to the right man. It just doesn't come out for any ol' body. He's got to bring something to the table and by that, I mean more than money, more than good looks and more than a big dick. He's got to bring honor, integrity and respect for me as his sister, his lover and his friend. It can't be just any ol' fly by night shit. He's going to need to have his act together before he can expect me to push him out into the spotlight. Cause I'm not doing it if you're going to be out there acting like a gosh darn fool.

    If there's someone out there who can be that person, great.

    But Hasani, much as you know I love you, you couldn't be that because you haven't stepped back yet to see that sometimes maybe the world is not the fool, it's just you.

  85. This is a proud day in our country's history – Barack Obama got the official nomination from the Democratic Party!!!

    Many of our ancestors died and shed many tears for this day to be possible, so let's celebrate!!!

  86. O-ba-ma, O-ba-ma O-ba-ma!!!

    I was so busy at work today I just got a chance to read the blog and the comments for today (2.5 hours) to read, whats up with all the monologues today. All I have to say is: allrighty then

    Michelle Obama is who we all as men and women should look up to. She holds Barack down, has a law degree of her own, but CHOOSES to stay home and raise their kids while he lives his dreams.

    now that's what we as the black community needs…SUPPORT OF EACH OTHER!

    real talk

  87. I hate that I came in so late on this discussion. All I can do is read some of it.. I guess that's what I get for having a job too.. haha

    But I'm sure I don't have to say anything…I think most of ya'll know how I feel about this topic.

  88. Eathan none of us have any idea how you feel on the subject please do tell. ;o)

    just giving you a hard time.

    it is too bad though that you didnt get into the blog earlier in the comments conversation. :o)

  89. Wow…so I was wondering why the comments were so low…now I know why…once again Hasani has sucked the life and energy out of the blog.

    …well be careful what u ask for folks…u wanted things back to "normal" around here, and u got them…lol. priceless.

    Bree my bad…man i'll do better I promise!!

  90. @QB…haha, i was gonna say the same thing! LOL

    @everyone…i'm sorry for not taking my own advice and ignoring…i'll do better tomorrow, i promise

  91. I am so late, and I tried to read what yall was talkin bout. Only thing I have to say is that Michelle Obama represents many (not all) black woman. So my mom didn't get praises and tv recognition for raising me and my brother on one income. Nobody praised her for choosing to raise us vs trying to find her boo to cater to her and get her grove on. The woman made sure we did good in school, made sure we went to church and was active in everything she could get our little hands into. Its what a lot of women do, sometimes with a man or without. I love my mom and she is my Michelle and I praise every woman that is as strong as so many black woman, that hold it down no matter what the situation, man or no man. My mother isn't passionate about saving the world but she is passionate about the state of young people. They need love and they need some one to tell them they can do anything they want in life.

    If anybody takes anything from Michelle it should be her passion. Not the passion she has for her husband and what he does, but your own passion no matter what it is, have a strong conviction about it, and be about it. thats how you will be a better woman. For your kids, your husband, family ect….

    I am sure im way off topic but i just watched that speech and had to say something lol. I don't have a tv so im always late on stuff….

  92. jaclyn said I will say this…I am quite capable of being the Michelle type to the right man. It just doesn’t come out for any ol’ body. He’s got to bring something to the tabl

    I have said this 1000 times. You cant practice with a garden hose and expect to fight fires when the time comes with a fire hose. If your already sayin you cant be a loving compassionate woman for jus any ol body… then you wont be able to flip a switch and all of the sudden be compassionate for that man.

    but you go on to say

    He’s going to need to have his act together before he can expect me to push him out into the spotlight. Cause I’m not doing it if you’re going to be out there acting like a gosh darn fool.

    Did you know that love isnt situational…. news flash. perhaps the black love we have today has degraded to this point that we as a community just arent getting it. and the "a man needs to have his shit together" mindset is whats wrong. I know its every black womans fear to be with "a scrub nigga" and be poor and not have things… hell its where alot of us came from and never want to go back to. but family and love are supposed to be for richer and poor and better or worse, we seem to be missing that.

    Think about how many times on this blog you have heard the same thing? a man needs to have his shit together and make X amount of $ for me to date him. This mindset and lack of faith makes any brotha worth his salt resent you.

    kinda like how I resent a woman I date who now all of the sudden wants to date me now that I make 1700 a week.

    I resent you if you wouldnt have been with me when I was making 400 a week, because this life as a black man that can be the case tomorrow.

    I greatly appreciate miss june. I tell her I make "barely above" minimum wage and she dosent care, she dates me regardless and tells me she loves that I am a principled and hardworking man. Ya I could ball out and impress her but what would that say about her heart? I wrote her a love letter today after all of this and gave it to get because you all make me realize how important a good woman is in a black mans life, and how hard it is to be next to one.

    Call me a fool Jaclyn? forget my name then woman and dont bother emailing me or calling me behind the scenes either.

    your zeal to "check this nigga" outweighs how I have never been anything but nice to you. THATS loyalty and love from my sista?

    I think your perception of reality is as flawed as your beauty.

  93. "I wrote her a love letter today after all of this and gave it to get because you all make me realize how important a good woman is in a black mans life, and how hard it is to be next to one."

    …WOW a softer side of Hasani *love jones snaps*

    Jaclynn I told u to leave that man alone….geesh u kids never listen. *smh*

  94. Wow. The problem here is that there are far too many generalizations being made about "us". Whether that be Black, White, male, or female. We are ALL different. Going into a situation with a preconceived notion about a person is ignorant and can often be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

    I am an "educated black woman" married to an "educated black man" and the fact that we are both black does not make us incompatible. I think that notion is extreme and the logic is completely flawed. I don't act like an "angry black woman" and he does not act like a "typical black male with mama issues". We act like ourselves. We aren't caught up trying to live like the Huxtables. We are in a marriage, not a power struggle.

    Black people come from all different socio-economic backgrounds and often times being Black is the only thing we have in common. "We" are not all the same so we can't all be judged that way. All black women are not power hungry and get a rush from demeaning their partner, and all black men are not lazy ass liars with bad credit. We come from different places with different experiences. Looking for a relationship with those ideas will get you nowhere and will ensure that you miss out on many opportunities. Love someone for who they are not the stereotype you are hoping they will live up to (as they will most likely disappoint you when it doesn't play out like it does on TV). You never know who will be able to come into your life and provide you with love, support, and acceptabce. You might be surprised.

  95. Brooke you hit the nail on the head. but if I said it I would be called a race traiotr. Usually the only thing we have in common is skin color. which is why I talk in terms of types and not in general. nobody here said ALL BLACK PEOPLE CANT GET ALONG… or even a black man with an education cant love a black woman with an education. I just have an opinion about how if the black mans goal is to sit home play xbox and play with his kids and your goal is to be omorosa … we are compatable but not as much as something another can offer.

    a softer side of me? Umm Im sorry.. when have I not been "soft" and loving? I dunno if you havent gotten the memo but there is no creature on the planet more compassionate and loving than the black male…. thats me.

    And I sometimes lose track of why I am dating and how fortunate I am to find a decent sista in this sea of angry "self loving" hags. The quality of black men is only low because of the standards you will equate to quality. I actually find its harder to find a good (american born middle class) sista than i would say it is for the reverse.

    Talkin to you guys sometimes lets me know just whats out here and what my women in my culture are thinking, so I had to let her know I appreciate how unique of a woman she is.

  96. @Teacia-

    Poor, dear Hasani…

    He'll be alright…I didn't say he's a fool I just said it's him.

    Yes, our poor perfect prototype of a black man.

    Girl, I am so immune. I care about Hasani, but I do not always agree. But I am mature enough to agree to disagree and keep it moving like an adult not run off to a corner like a child to lick my wounds because the horrible black women don't understand my point.

    🙂 Good night. Kisses and hugs to all.

  97. Your still a child.

    I was living with a woman when you were still walking to school with your lunch box….. LITTERALLY. I have no problem with someone not agreeing with me… if you havent noticed… your the one who is bent out of shape about MY opinion.

    i love a debate and I love enlightenment but one thing I cant stand is the putting down of black men at the expense of humor or your own elation.

    not all black women are horrible….. just ones like you.

  98. "So my mom didn’t get praises and tv recognition for raising me and my brother on one income. Nobody praised her for choosing to raise us vs trying to find her boo to cater to her and get her grove on. The woman made sure we did good in school, made sure we went to church and was active in everything she could get our little hands into. Its what a lot of women do, sometimes with a man or without. I love my mom and she is my Michelle and I praise every woman that is as strong as so many black woman, that hold it down no matter what the situation, man or no man."

    Girl get out of my HEAD. I actually woke up thinking this.

  99. and I praise all of the current trend of black men who are raising black children… with or without a woman. and who buck stereotypes to get jobs … two jobs even to raise daughters and sons and future leaders of our community.

    actually I take it back… I dont praise parents for being parents.

    its their job, they are supposed to do so. expecting anything less is putting the bar too low.

  100. I know i'm 2 days late with this, but this is a topic that really fascinates me. marriage and relationships are important and the fact of the matter is that we all have to play it smart. being in a marriage is making two people into one, so why would i merge my life with a guy that has nothing to give in return? As a black woman, I've had to overcome tons of obstacles to get where i am today and it would be foolish of me to link up with a man who doesn't have the same experience or drive.

    Application to interracial relationships? Black women are driven, for the most part. Most, if not all, have the capability to accomplish great things in spite of adversities AND help others succeed as well. It is the nature of being black and being a woman. Contrary to popular belief, this is the greatest gift that we have to offer, so I completely agree with Jaclyn that we shouldn't support a fool. Unfortunately, not a lot of black women understand this about themselves and that's where you get black women who are corporate-driven and overly domineering – the kind of women that HNIC has referred to his posts. Only a weak woman, one who is insecure in her power and worth, would sink to demeaning a man by embarassing him in public. A true queen never has to raise her voice to be heard.

    That said, some black men are afraid of that power and deal in the way that men sometimes do by exerting their physical strength or posturing as the 'big man on campus.' Real women see this as the joke that it is. I believe that most black women are frustrated with black men because we are expected to support and nuture when we get the tarzan act in return. The stereotype of a white woman is that she will do this every time – that no matter what her man does, she will submit. In reality, this is not always true, but the idea that a white woman will be easier to 'deal with' than a black woman is enticing to black men who don't have the courage to attempt communication on a real level with a real woman.

    As to my own personal preferences, I would never settle down with a white man because I don't feel that he would be able to identify with my life and upbringing, but have strayed now and again. I will also be woman enough to say that I do get a bit discouraged when I see a good black man with a white woman, like 'man, that's one less for me to choose from.' But I never get upset when I see a fool of a black man with a white woman – like, 'cool, that's one less to fend off.'

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