Home Guest Post Thursday’s Feature: Gimme some head!

Thursday’s Feature: Gimme some head!

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I know I talk about head a lot … but … I mean … what else am I gonna talk about?  Palin? And this time it’s not me … so its OK.

Anyways, this post comes from FunkyBlackChick and gives a brief glance into the importance of not just oral sex … but being sexual open and “spicing things up”.

Being a self confessed “freak” myself … you know my thoughts on the subject.



Enjoy

-SBM

———————————————————————

I’m Here About The Blow Job

Let me set up the scenario.

I have a friend and three years ago I introduced him to a female coworker of mine. I wouldn’t say that this particular coworker and I were close friends outside of work, but we did hang out occasionally. Throughout my moving & travelling, I always kept in touch with him over emails & random phone calls, but I lost contact with her, or received a ‘hi’ through him from her.

Yesterday, he happened to catch me online via Instant Messenger, he tells me he has some bad news. I ask him, “OK, well what is it?”.

D: It’s your girl, yo.
Me: What about her?
D: I think I might have to break it off with her?

Me: ?
D: It’s boring in the bedroom.
Me: Well have you told her this?
D: We talk about it all the time and its frustrating?
Me: So what do you mean boring?
D: She doesn’t want to try new things?
Me: Ok, well a lot of women aren’t into anal? Yuck!
D: Yo, I’m not talking about that shit!
Me: Well then, what else is left to try?
D: She doesn’t like BJs!
Me: Whoaaaaaa! Are you serious?
D: We’ve been together for three years, and she’s never done it to me! So I’ve recently stopped going down on her!
Me: Wow…well yall just need to talk about it..and I don’t think this is something you should break up with someone over.
D: She’s a germ-a-phobe! She even makes me take a shower before. No spontaneity at all!

I’m not going to get into the whole convo, but my thing is, how important is a BJ? I told him maybe she’s saving that aspect of sex for marriage or maybe she’s had a bad experience. Also, I asked him if he dealt with it for 3 years, then what’s making it more of an issue now?

See Also:  Why Is Halle Berry Crazy, But Steve Harvey Is A Relationship Guru

So, if you were in this situation….What would you do? Do you leave a relationship because your partner doesn’t partake in Oral sex? Feel free to chime in (that goes for the lurkers as well).

Comment(248)

  1. If is truely bored in the bedroom he might want to leave. Not to say that sex is everything in a relationship but to be able to have a great night from time to time is needed. Plus at that point in their relay, she should have become more open to new things.

  2. @Comeback, I've been friends with him for about 8 yrs, and like I said in the original post, her and I were coworkers and would do happy hours every once in a while, when she told me she was single, I told her I had a single friend..etc..etc..and so their story began…

    I also think he spoke to me about it just to get my opinion on the situation or maybe to offer suggestions..etc.etc..who knows..Him and I talk about everything, he's one of my best friends, so a convo like that isn't something that's out of the ordinary…

    I also did tell him that I didn't think that was a reason to break up with someone, especially since he's been dealing with it that long…

  3. "Using the slogan of Hilary Clinton: No Way, No How, No Head, No Relationship!!"

    LOL Teacia.

    im also a little curious about the friendship funke chick has with old dude"

    Comeback of course I don't know the answer since I'm not her, but I have a few male friends who are very open and honest with me about stuff–including why they may break up or stay with a woman. A lot of times I'm like that's TMI.

    "sometimes bad sex becomes a product of bad communication/situation in other areas, which only rears its ugliest head in bed."

    Comeback–good point.

    There could be various reasons why she doesn't feel the need to participate in oral sex with the dude. She might not be "into him;" or some type of "hygene" issue, or she just simply doesn't do it. Either way, they aren't a fit, so it's best they do go their seperate ways.

  4. @Jac: Good morning! Hey BMAD is everyday in my world, no need to confine it to just yesterday.

    I agree with most of the replies here. There is something else to the story, why would you wait that long to communicate your issues with your partner?

  5. @Jolie-Play nice. Sex is important but I gotta have communication. 🙂 But I do like your brutal honesty. At least you state what you want.

    @Nicki-Girl, that might work…that and one other thing which I think I'm saving.

    @Anesidora-Hun, we have the Hustler store down here…TWO stories of badness. I just love it…I might go down there this weekend and pick up a thing or two…

  6. Something is telling me that (fŭng'kē) [blak] [chik] use to kick it with this dude. I don't get how you get this far in a relationship and this has not been an issue. I think things may not be going right and he has met somebody else. He wants to explore this new woman and is looking for an excuse to do it. I think this might be the underlying issue.

  7. Maybe ole boy was trying to be a good sport about it and tried to convince himself that it wasn't a big deal, but now he just can't take it (or rather NOT take it) anymore. I know a lot of folks out there will say that's not a good enough reason to break up with someone, especially if everything else in the relationship is good, so I'm speculating that, as not to seem like an asshole, he tried to ignore it. Pressure busts pipes, tho……

    I think it goes beyond the act itself tho…. it's a sign of sexual incompatibility, which is the deal breaker.

    (and I should have linked this one: http://adventuresindivorce.wordpress.com/2008/08/… WordPress keeps better stats. Don't ask me why I maintain two sites…. just trying to satisfy everyone I guess)

  8. Really??? no head, in the infamous words of my divine lover, "HOW THAT WORK???" dammit its 2008 and these folks running round here not giving head should be banished…BUT HE IS A FOOL for tolerating it for 3 damn years and now all of a sudden wants to complain…she has written her program and you followed that ish for 3 years…so return to your seat and shut up!!!!

    Oral sex is a very very did i mention very important part of any great sexual relationship…trust it aint meant for everyone, but if theres passion, its a given!!! i just dont understand how one can not want to….its so damn arousing to hear ur man or mate moan, shout and fight the feeling!!! dammit i gotta go…time to give head!!!

    hey Dee!!!

  9. This is on a tangent but I think I am the only dude that likes doggie over head. I've received good head too. IDK. Maybe I need a superhead.

  10. @Jolie-You ain't never lied. You have to be able to do it right. I mean if you can't then I'll try and teach you to my liking. I deserve that.

    @Humble-Do you get the feeling funky black chick has felt his schlong?

    @No More-I think you have to…if I'm interested in doing anything sexual I always wanna know what the other person expects…today many men are interested in anal…well…that's something we have to talk about and I've noticed if I sit my feelings out there then I don't have to deal with it. And I don't swallow it's often not a dealbreaker simply because it was already put out there.

    In other words, had she said in the beginning hey I don't do this and said why (as someone said above) they would have known from the beginning what the deal was going to be.

  11. Beyond that…

    Humble, sweetie, you need a life changing experience. Seriously a chick with a good mouth, strong control, good tonguing, etc. would make you think twice about the doggy thing…beyond that…has anyone done it from the back while the woman lays flat legs closed?

  12. men and women can't be "just friends"..the man always wants to eff the woman

    seriously

    everything he does is to the so called platonic friend is cause she is a potential f**K

  13. I don't have any "just friends" that are men… they've always tried to knock me off… or they are a knock of that didnt' work out. LOL.

  14. @true-Absolumment pas. I love it…but Humble and all of his doggy talk. I prefer it that way if it must be from the back.

    @true and Comeback-Isn't there a famous quote that says the only way a man and woman can be true friends is to first be lovers? Methinks so because it's always gonna be there. Tsk tsk.

  15. "@true and Comeback-Isn’t there a famous quote that says the only way a man and woman can be true friends is to first be lovers? Methinks so because it’s always gonna be there. Tsk tsk."

    im sorry you guys Im totally skippin abound today. But Jac you are correct. There's two catagories for me where I will NOT cross the throne:

    1. My shoe/shopping boyfriend/husband (s) who is either about to come out or has come out.

    2. Men you only see as your little or older brother-incest grosses me the fyck out. And thats a turnoff right there.

  16. @Cuzzo: I worry about the Democratic vote in MI. Im not so sure we get it this time. Well, unless the people who need to go and get registered to vote actuall go out and do so.

    @Jac: You, standing up pressed against the wall, me, pressed up behind you.

  17. I see some people here lack emotional intelligence/maturity, if they're not able to form friendships with the opposite sex without thinking of the person as a potential fuck.

    Not all male/female relationships deal with sex as a parameter or even an option. I'll just proudly be the exception to this rule then, b/c I have male friends who I hold in high regard, if not higher than some female friends. And no, those, including the one with the person mentioned in my original blog post, were not based on the fact that we 'lovers' before or that I've seen their 'schlong'..

    Damn, thanks for the blog idea..lol (although I figured by now this horse has been beaten dead repeatedly..)

    Oh…and for the record, that couple, eloped this past July…and he's been receiving as he puts it 'the bomb head' ever since…I guess the saying is true, good things come to those who wait…

  18. "Oh…and for the record, that couple, eloped this past July…and he’s been receiving as he puts it ‘the bomb head’ ever since…I guess the saying is true, good things come to those who wait…"

    OK, so maybe I should keep up with the celibacy and not give head? I wonder if she used this as a tactic to get her man to commit?

  19. @Fungke-Congrats to them…more to him than her I guess lol
    @No More-*blinking rapidly* you have my full on attention…anything more? I do hope so…you're rather..hmm…interesting and I think I might need a clean up…
    @Cuzzo-I know…I have a terrible mental block against somethings…but it stands that for the right man I can do it. 😉
    @Jolie-Hmmm…this is an idea up for further discussion.

  20. @Jolie: "OK, so maybe I should keep up with the celibacy and not give head? I wonder if she used this as a tactic to get her man to commit?"

    You took the thoughts rit' out of my head.

  21. @ SBM et al – how about we just assume everyone gives head and do a post on it – To Spit or Not to Spit? That is the question.

    So ladies/fellas – Do you spit on the genital area during oral? If you are spit on – do you think it's sexy? nasty?

    Ladies – do you swallow or spit afterwards? or do u just keep ya mouth shut altogether and let it fly?

    Men – Do you use ure tongue as a biscuit and sop it up? or do u let her drip?

  22. @Cuzzo: To spit or not to spit! I'm dying… I've never done it or had it done to me… I think I'd probably be grossed out though.

    As for the "Ladies – do you swallow or spit afterwards? or do u just keep ya mouth shut altogether and let it fly?"

    I have only let it get in the mouth for two guys and for both of them, I went flying to the bathroom afterwards to spit and brush… Eck! I like doing it but I don't want that salty. LOL

  23. Well…I don't like too much spit on my area…so please don't spit on me.

    Umm…I've answered the second part..although if I have to taste the cum..then I just keep licking…

    Men, what are your thoughts on swallowing or spitting?

  24. @TeenaMarie: why is that you ONLY post when we're talking about head…is that all your azz ever thinks about *counting down the next 23 hours* *ahem*…so yeah, do better.

    @Jolie: good point about whether it was a committal tactic, either way three years is plenty of time to prove a point. i don't think i could wait that long for someone to propose or even marry me. hell i know i WON'T wait that long.

    @Cuzzo: it's seems like every Thursday we're talking about head in one way or another.

  25. "I see some people here lack emotional intelligence/maturity, if they’re not able to form friendships with the opposite sex without thinking of the person as a potential fuck. "

    I don't think it really has anything to do with emotional intelligence. People have been debating the concept for years. So even those that do, are emotionally immature?? I personally don't really see the need to have tons of male friends. For one it complicates situations with sig. others. If the shoe was on the other foot, I would want to know if my man was having IM confessions and discussing our sex$ual business with another woman of however long.

    People have a way of "hiding" said friends of the opposite sex who only pop up when things are "rocky"…thats not a friend. I wanna see all my man's friends (men and women) @zzes when they come over for the game, baptisms, christmas, a house party…the emotional immaturity arrives when people are less than above board about "friendships"

    imho.

  26. Ewwwww Cuzzo, you're nasty!!

    Well personally I don't spit or swallow, I've never had the choice. My vajayjay always steals the attention away. Fortunately for me, it's feels better than my head, which is a total compliment considering I've made negroes cry, punch holes in a wall(for real) and scream until they've lost their voice.

    I think it's the motion in my ocean that does the trick. he he he

  27. 3years? 3 years? that's krazy. She doesn't have give a BJ regularly..but she has to be open to the idea. I mean when the mood hits, she's gotta be ready. She'd be on waivers quick! Time for a free agent.

  28. @Teacia: You wouldnt wait three years for a proposal? Three years seems cool to me…

    @Cuzzo: Let her drip! The puddles on the sheets will remind me of how excellent of a job I did.

    @Jac: I wont trip at all if a woman would rather spit, however, i tend to like it when women swallow.

  29. All the focus is on whether women spit or swallow…. what about the MEN?? I can be, uh, quite the geyser (if you do it right, I'm talking hit you in the face with it, Texas sized wet spots that NOBODY can avoid sleeping in), so if I'm gonna be expected to swallow, he should, too. It's only fair. Unfortunately, tho, I've only encountered spitters.

    So GUYS…. spit or swallow?

  30. lol @ Jolie and Nicki running to the bathroom. I wonder how that makes the man feel. men – how does that make you feel?

    I feel some type a way if a dude starts washing up immediately after. sheesh. can we marinate a bit?

    @ Tea – yea, I'm nasty, so what? lol. I don't wanna hear what u got since my cousin is getting it anyway. that's nasty *closes ears @ Tea* bleh bleh yucky yucky

  31. @ Dee…well damn buddy…imma do better…shit!!!

    about the whole male/female friend tidbit…ummmm…YESH…they can be friends…hell all of my best friends are male…Coot, D.White, D.Ballard…love em to death…and yesh…two of them i have screwed but we realized that we were better off being friends instead of continuing any sexual relationship (cuz im openly crazy)…having these male BFF's does complicate things for my relationship, but im willing to deal with those complications because i love my BFFS and im also willing to delete that relationship BECAUSE I LOVE MY BFFs!!!! it aint as damn hard as folks try to make it out to be…

  32. @No More-Well if I have to swallow then what are you willing to do for me? Beyond the required seat?

    @Anesidora-Every man I've ever been with with like I want to feel your juices running down my throat…eh. Who am I to take away their pleasure???

    I guess since I am at the point where I am enjoying the whole sensuality of sex swallowing might be on order.

  33. @Cuzzo: You do have a point! I'd be pissed if a man did it to me.. and it makes me feel like an unpaid whore when he rushes to the shower afterwards… only one guy has done that and I could have cried… Had me feeling like "Maaahhhh-cus"

  34. @ Comeback – eh, yea. They are called squirters. I've seen it in porn – belladonna and some chick. It squirts out like a supersoaker – looks like water.

  35. @Jac: i'll take the spot today, after all i've been known to make it a comfortable one.

    @TeenaMarie: two comments in one day…dayum buddy, you miss me..i'm logging on to IM ryt nah! Shout out to my homie D. Ballard that introduced me to the crazy world of TMV!! And yes yall she is crazy for real, if you don't believe me read her blogs…PURE entertainment.

    @Cuzzo: and there will be plenty more where that came from in T-22hr 45min.

  36. @ Jolie – I haven't had a guy spit spit like hock tooo – more like let the saliva dribble down from his mouth. but this was years ago – maybe that's a young boi technique. I don't see that happening much nowadays.

  37. @True-I have a friend who will almost swear he hates me if someone brings me up…let me get behind closed doors with him…and he's going to try and f*ck me.

  38. taking showers immediately before?

    drop it like it's hot. i feel sorry for the guy honestly. by enduring it for three years, he was just enabling the inexcusable behavior. how is she ever going to get over her hangups?

  39. @Jac & Cuzzo: You dont have to swallow. Most women dont, to my knowledge. I have no problems with you running to the bathroom like your face is on fire, spitting it out. Its just extra credit if you do, thats all.

    I let the juices from women spill out, just because. But the very first time I went down on a woman I swallowed a mouthful because I didnt know how to get around it, lol.

  40. @No More: didn't i just say that i wouldn't wait 3 years to get married, what makes you think i'm going to wait 3 years for a proposal. You got 18 months to propose tops, and my wedding will follow within the 6-9 months that follow said engagement…and that's me being generous.

    Having said that, i'm not just going to marry any ol fool who proposes, but i think the man who truly loves me won't need to wait 3 years to get down on bended knee…and yes i expect a bend in that damn knee.

  41. i dont understand it

    who doesn't give oral to their partner now adays

    are they like 12..even they give it (sad to say)

    I dont understand it

    If its good enough to go in my cooter..its good enough for my mouth

    if I wouldn't put it in my mouth..I wouldn't put it in my cooter..u all catch my drift

  42. @Jac: No, no, no…. I'm talking about if guys THEMSELVES spit or swallow when a WOMAN comes. For the record, I swallow. The power it gives you over a man is amazing. Especially because most women won't do it. And afterward I casually get up and go get something to drink… no sense ruining the moment acting like you just drank transmission fluid or something. It hurts their feelings. 😉

    @Comeback: Yes, (some) women do ejaculate. I just happen to A LOT. An ex of mine described it as "Drinking from the waters of Lake Minnetonka." LOL!

  43. "But the very first time I went down on a woman I swallowed a mouthful because I didnt know how to get around it, lol."

    …picturing that is disgusting. i do not require a man to swallow, i'm a…ummm *whispering* squirter, *regaining volume* and i think it would be outrageous to require any man to do so!

  44. @ Tea – eh, it's ok i guess. I know it's not gonna be about him since he don't like his bidness out there like that anyway, understandably. I can't censor ya or anyone else, especially since I'm the one that brought it up. 😉 go on keep the party going.

    *turns up rick james – she's alright! she's alright! that girl's alright with meeee, yeaaaaa*

  45. i'm on the fence between comeback and funke's views on opposite sex friendships.

    i have a very very close male friend, and have always had pretty close male friends and i sort of feel they are necessary…you need someone of the opposite sex you can bounce things off of and get advice and just to keep you from going insane when you don't understand your mate. there are things i can ask my guy friend about my boyfriend without judgement or rubbing him the wrong way. but i agree that it a lot of folks ruin their relationships by not allowing their significant other to be comfortable with their friends.

  46. @No More-Well dear, for you I will…And what's wrong with ingesting a little from women?

    @Teacia-Girl…I hope you know hears me when I say he better jump on this ASAP

    @Ane-All my men do..They must like it. I still have a size requirement though.

  47. @Ane…i have that "problem" too…*sigh* i keep a good stock of sheets around

    in other news, i have to sadly say i need to take an extended break from or at least tone down my participation on this blog. my productivity is waaay down and i'm seriously trying to get a fat bonus at the end of the year so i can use cash to furnish this house i'm buying myself for christmas. it's a real blast talking to you guys, and serious work keeping up with the amount of comments posted…this goodbye speech is really for me…cuz I DON'T WANNA GOOOOOO!!!

    LOL…I think i'll just give myself some specific recess times at which i can check in throughout the day. See ya'll at recess!

  48. "and i sort of feel they are necessary…"

    i agree. I have a gay husband and a big brother. But they need to be disclosed. They can't pop up when you goin through thangs. But I understand the discomfort, not everybody has the same buddy buddy agenda. Some "friends" look for weak points and go in for the kill.

  49. “Drinking from the waters of Lake Minnetonka.” HILARIOUS

    One of my guys broke off his engagement b/c his fiance refused to give him head. She also hated being hit from the back…said it made her feel like an animal. Personally, I'm not the biggest fan of head in the world but I don't ever turn it down and miss it when it's not offered.

    http://WWW.MRSWAGGER.COM

  50. I use to have a male friend that I could call about anything…LENNY WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!? But he got a job and sh*t and don't know how to call his girl anymore…maybe it's because Mr. Avalanche is his close friend and he didn't like how I went about ending our thing.

    But I have hella males friends that I didn't sleep with and never plan to, just don't talk to them much anymore…hmpt.

  51. @ Tea – b4 i said I didn't want to know since my cuz get's it. and my follow-up was basically saying say whatever u want – cuz it's not like ure talking what u do with him anyway. that's all.

  52. @Cuzzo: my vajayjay skills don't change based on the participant…lol.

    yeah but as far as the men i mention i'm definitely pulling from past and present experiences.

    but it's all good.

    @Why So: a hot ass mess i tell ya!!

  53. @ Jac aka the offender – aw lawd, i done put u in freak mode. (btw which doesn't take much)

    I thought about the spitting (on the guys specifically) because this comedien (does anyone watch Martin's First Amendment Stand-Up? – cuz this is where I saw him) was sayin how he watched a porn of superhead and mr.marcus *insert bom chica wow wow* and he was describing how she took on da dyck. she spit on it, then did like a grinding motion with both hands on the shaft – i'm making it sound all technical but when he said it, it was funny. he said u gotta SPIT then grind the peppa baby, grind the peppa – and if he has a little thing u gotta adjust the telescope (just use ure imagination)

  54. Pleasuring who I am with makes me happy. In relationships, one would want one to change if they see physicality or emotional errors (ie-calling you after work, putting the toilet seat down, cleaning up the kitchen)…but it's no hurry to change your oral abilities that pleases your mate???….
    When I am IN a relationship, I give my all when I am getting it back….So in the event my man is keeping me happy I will do what it takes. Satisfying is a two way street, period.
    A girlfriend of my mine once said "I will never do that to my man!"…
    I said…."If you want to keep him….BEETCH…You WILL SU$K SOME D!$K"……
    Her: Blank Stare~

  55. @ Ane – "The power it gives you over a man is amazing." yes! yes! loves it. something about when u look at up at him and he's lookin all crazy like y r u doing this to me?

  56. @Jac: There's nothing wrong with swallowing some from a woman. I mean you really cant help but to swallow some of it anyway if you get in there like you should.

    @Cuzzo: Spit and grind the peppa is good. But I prefer hands going up and down on me than hands twisting. LOL @ adjust the telescope

  57. @Kara: "A girlfriend of my mine once said “I will never do that to my man!”…
    I said….”If you want to keep him….BEETCH…You WILL SU$K SOME D!$K”……
    Her: Blank Stare~"

    HA HA HA HA HA…that's funny!!

    @TeenaMarie: why did I steal your myspace profile song, it makes me actually want to sing out loud…I feel this sh*t in my song.

  58. @Dee: u stole it for the same reason its been on my page for months now!!! its banging…its real…& why ur ass aint logged in yet…i logged in cuz u said u were gonna log in…i gotta tell u bout mr. pinky!!!!

  59. Well Cuzzo since you insist.

    @No More-Well…dear…what if there's some telescope adjusting between licks and how about that very, very light teeth grinding? That always drives 'em…

  60. Special shout out to TeenaMarie for posting the funniest SBM.net ad bulletin on the space…one time for blog family love!!!

    And a shout out to my only male friend that I'm allowed to have these days…Eathan I love you man!!!

  61. @Jac: Im scared of the teeth! I'll let you try it on me though. Ive been scared of the teeth ever since that woman who got too nibbly on the balls. Not Good Times.

  62. @Whyso?&Cuzzo-Awww wow….

    @NoMore-I'm glad you trust me here. I promise I won't hurt you…I'll be gentle. I swear you'll like it…you will feel chills sort of and then….

  63. @ why so – I'm ok. how u doin'? we're talking about To Spit or Not to Spit – That is the question. So, do u salivate on ure woman? do u like to be salivated on? do u like to be swallowed? etc. etc. and then some

  64. lol @ Jac "@Whyso?&Cuzzo-Awww wow…." stop it

    I'm heading out a bit. Jac aka offender – keep the party going,

    *she's a very freaky girl, the kind u don't take home to mother"

  65. @no more…teeth are good if she knows what she's doing…and it sounds like Jac just might.

    @comeback…yeah, i'm pretty good about making my man feel comfortable with my best guy friend. because i care about my man and i sincerely truly value my friendship with my bestie…and he's non-negotiable, he ain't going nowhere!

    @teacia…yeah, they're making me blush a little too, maybe not what they're talking about, just that they're talking about it…here…well, i guess anonymity makes it easier to be open lol

  66. @ cuzzo

    i do whatever it takes to git-r-done. won't go into details, but if i can still see blacks of her eyes, i got more to do.

    a fair amount of spit, yes. slobbered on no. Keep it clean.

    swallowers = winners.

  67. @Bree-I've got a Ph.D. Yep. And well some of us are not so anonymous. And Bree, don't blush doll…all in good fun.

    @whyso-So…how do you feel about the teeth thing…Cuzzo will need to know these things!

  68. “Hit the road Jack and don’t you come back no more, no more…” or in other words “chick, thou shalt kick rocks for all eternity!”

  69. @Jac – i'm kidding about the blushing, really, and perhaps we can get together and teach some classes…may as well make some money off these talents…the "respectable" way, haha

    @whyso? – "if i can still see blacks of her eyes, i got more to do." there's something real special about you boy!

  70. @whyso? do whatever it takes to git-r-done. won’t go into details, but if i can still see blacks of her eyes, i got more to do."

    It's so hard… LOL. Must….lock…..legs.

  71. @Bree-You know that's a fabulous idea. People could use this kinda instruction and you know it's not just the sex…it's the food we cook, cuddling…etc.

  72. Ok so seriously I'm bouncing up out of here at 2pm. I don't have ANY work to do today…NONE, and I have plenty to do outside of work.

    **Mind you I got an award today for being a valued employee…lol. It's National Staffing Week or some nonsense like that. I got a cake and a gift a few months back I thought for the same thing, but I guess it was for something different.

    I hope they still feel this way when I walk my valued ass out of here in a few.

  73. I think I heard Superhead say she was gonna come out with a book to teach us how to "fallaciate" –is that a word(?)…. properly.

  74. wow this late in the morning and only a few replies… what happened?

    I dont find anything wrong with oral. I actually find pleasure in it. Im not gonna blow any ‘joe blow’ but if we’re having a good time and things get heated then its on. When you have sex its not a instant thing that it happens. if it does than it does. but dont force my head down and make me vomit, i might bite cha!

  75. @ jac – "@whyso-So…how do you feel about the teeth thing…Cuzzo will need to know these things!" – I swear, I can't leave you alone for one minute

    @ No More "Ive been scared of the teeth ever since that woman who got too nibbly on the balls." HA! I'm may be fired today. ya'll too funny.

    @ Nicki – pictures are worth a thousand words – watch porn.

  76. So uhhh uncle fester's b-day is tomorrow. I think we should all acknowledge it on some level.

    I swear it's so hard to stay mad at his ignant ass at times(i'm a gluton for punishment i know).

    I just wish he would go with the flow and stop with all his "angry black woman" this and "angry black women" that nonsense. It's just all so tiring.

  77. @Indiana…he posted late, I checked at 7:00 like i usually do b4 i leave the house

    Umm…oral IS that important. Let me rephrase that, I think s.ex in general is a very important aspect of a healthy relationship and if you don’t enjoy it, then it will cause problems. I know from previous topics, the majority of the members of this blog are Pro-Head and well, I’ll be honest, I couldn’t be in a long-term relationship with someone who wouldn’t give it to me…I definitely couldn’t marry them. And spontanaeity is important as well. But hey, she might meet herself another germaphobe who could care less about his third leg getting a tongue rub. And good luck to her!

  78. Wow, posted after 8am huh…SBM DO BETTER!

    Using the slogan of Hilary Clinton: No Way, No How, No Head, No Relationship!!

    …well maybe it’s a slight variation of her slogan…lol.

  79. I agree with Bree. All sex is important.

    In fact, this celibacy thing makes me nervous… what happens if I wait, fall in love, and he we finally decide to Seal the Deal and HE SUCKS IN BED!!!!!!

    I love sex so I think this may be grounds for divorce.

  80. A germaphobe???LOL maybe she can put some purell on that sausage lol jk….

    Its hard to read these “dear ann/dr phill” letters because they all have sides. They all have truths which don’t always EVER come out. Which is why you have to read these carefully for what ISN’T being said.

    Why though is requesting him to take a shower (lacking total spontaneity). why can’t he suggest they take one together. Why is he leaving all the sexu#al pleasures up to her? In my opinion it takes two to scre#w. He’s just as reponsible for the loving as she is. I never really understood people complaining about love-making esp. 2-3 years down the line (with no kids-or any other outside changes in pattern). These are the same people you been sleepin with for 2 or 3 additional years. And all of a sudden its bad???

    sometimes people scapegoat se!x. And sometimes bad sex becomes a product of bad communication/situation in other areas, which only rears its ugliest head in bed.

    im sorry that one person can’t be bad by themselves. and you knew she wasn’t givin no bjs when you were dating…so???…why up in arms now. Why is it a deal breaker now.

  81. @ No More and all the men – what can a women do to compensate for not being able to deep throat? hands? (no more mentioned hands going up and down – which is stroking, i guess.) light or heavy ball sucking? making little circles with the tongue around ure *shuts mouth*

    please elighten. these are for educational purposes only.

    (turning it into SBF (single black freak) today)

  82. @ Nicki –thanks for helping my A.D.D im over at Karine's site watchin this video about a man leaving his anal beads at her house WTF?? She is nuts. I think she's talking about Darius(sp). "why you leave your @zz beads here"???

    anyway the book is called the vixen manual.

    I don't really think a man can please you without really knowing your own body. Yoga helps (bree mentioned this) downward [email protected] Dog anyone LOL..

  83. im also a little curious about the friendship funke chick has with old dude. how long have they been friends? And under what circumstances?

    Additionally and not related is ole boy looking for an out, but cant express his need to roam the wild outdoors in any other way than, she doesn’t [email protected] me?

  84. I think everyone hear knows exactly how I feel about oral sex. I mean I think it’s pretty good and I didn’t enjoy receiving until recently. Now I have a good friend who refers to it as 7 because it is pretty high on her priority list.

    Now as for this couple…how you gonna sit there and tell her friend but not sit down and make it a point to tell her exactly what you’re feeling and thinking. I’m with Comeback here…it’s a lack communication. In order to have good sex in any relationship (regardless of it’s type) someone has got to open their mouth. 🙂

    Also, is he looking for anal, threesomes, more than just plain ol’ vanilla sexin?

  85. So uhhh uncle fester’s b-day is tomorrow. I think we should all acknowledge it on some level.

    I swear it’s so hard to stay mad at his ignant ass at times(i’m a gluton for punishment i know).

    I just wish he would go with the flow and stop with all his “angry black woman” this and “angry black women” that nonsense. It’s just all so tiring.

  86. @NotNeva: I'm with you…no way in hell I'm sticking around for more than 6 months with no head, that is unless the golddigger in me is enticed then I'm cool…who needs it anyways…lol.

  87. wait she is a germ-a-phobe and won't go down on him but she wants him to go down on her? that makes no sense. seriously.

    i dont think oral is as big of a deal in the relationship as being on the same page. if your guy wants oral you should give it to him maybe not always but at least occasionally – and without him asking. but at the same time life is a two way street. if your girl wants you to go down on her you should do it, again maybe not always but at least occasionally and without being asked.

    that's just me though

  88. But Cuzzo it's his birthday…how can we not at least send him a bday shout out.

    I didn't ask for him to be let back in the house…we cand send him an e-hug or something…lol.

  89. @Jac…girl…when r u comin to the A, we need to hang out! You are funny as shyt and it would be nice to have someone around so I'm not always the crass-mouthed freak! LMAO

    has anyone ever been to a swinger's club?

  90. @Cuzzo: Well some men like it when you just focus on the tip, so lick and suck there. For some, the speed matters, so find out if they like a slow, steady suck or if they like like fast-paced throat-banging action (im gonna trademark that phrase). Pressure can also matter, some women barely graze the lips on it while others feel like you put a vacuum on it. Also, if you have a tongue ring, put that thing to work! It does bring a provide a different sensation. Find a good mix of these tricks and it wont matter how much you are able to deep throat, you'll still put a niguh in a fetal position.

  91. @ Bree – um, no. i'm a lil too jealous for that. u seen what happened to keyshia cole's sister and her marriage. mmm scandalous.

    @ Tea – eh, u're on ure own.

    some of you have some kind of sick love affair with that dude. in the words of faith evans – he get's no love from me.

  92. @Bree-I wish I could have put the sound I just made through the computer Lunch w. the ex.

    Umm…Swingers…ex is a swinger..

    You send me swinging!!!!

    @No More–Preach…tell the gaspelz

  93. @QB: we can that backwards ass rationale…aka a double standard for that azz. he let her get away with that dumb mess for all that time, so you can't help but respect her pimpdom.

  94. @no more…well go head then! (no pun intended)

    @cuzzo…i've been once, i refused to let anyone there touch me as i was only there to observe. it's not something i think i would go and participate in, but it was kind of like dinner theatre. They had a buffet and a bar (of course there was no nakedness and body juices around the food that was in a separate room) I ate, and then went to the back for the live show. it was a cool experience…not sure i'd go back and i definitely don't think i'd take my significant other.

    also, i'm so with cuzzo…ya'll kill me with this back and forth with that dude. how about SBM make another room like he did yesterday for all those who want to go there…he can call it The Attic.

  95. @Comeback: No problem doll. I have it myself (A.D.D., not anal beads. HA!) I saw that clip….

    Maybe I need to take up yoga, that downward facing dog is sooo hard. I'm losing flexibility!!!!

  96. @Cuzzo: you gotta realize he's been around since the beginning, not acknowledging his bday b/c he gets a little ignant is just not nice.

    i disagree with his tactics, but most of us are very different in real life than we are on this here blog, and he is one of those people. we tell everyone else happy b-day, even the newcomers. i think it's only right that we acknowledge his. i didn't want him ruining our happy day yesterday and i do think his comments should be moderated, but i'm not so coldhearted as to just pretend he doesn't even exist.

    besides you can blame your cousin for turning him into an asshole. SBM went so hard on him when he was nice to chics, calling him a simp all the time…we can't have it both ways. i just think the man deserves a little b-day ackknowledgement…but to each his own.

  97. @ No More – if you're dating a girl with a tongue ring – she'll probably suck ure dyck (chris rock) but, that may be all she's good for.

    what respectable person has a tongue ring nowadays?

  98. Hmmm… i think people should be s*xually open in a relationship. there are some things I wont do before marriage (the old you gotta save something) but or*al s*x is not one of them. I think that sponataneity is key and although I believe in oral hygiene I’ve never asked a man to shower before entering. That sounds like some prost*tute shat where they make the man shower before they can do it.

    I think if he enjoyed his wrapper being licked he should have also spoke up prior to 3 yrs in the relationship. i think there is more to it. BUT I say DUMP HER! If the S*X aint right other things will eventually break down..

    YEH I SAID IT, S*X is MUY IMPORTANTE for me in a relationship and it can be a dealbreaker

  99. @ Tea – yea, go head with that. I wasn't here back then but he's still a…yeaaaaa, go head with that.

    the thing i don't get is…the dude has his OWN blog – y not aknowledge the bday over there and he can keep that toxicity over there too.

  100. @Cuzzo: that's not his blog, he doesn't have one. that's his mentor's blog, did you ever notice how it looked NOTHING like him…he does need a blog though. again blame your cousin and someone else(who shall remain nameless) for always emascualting him online, calling him broke and poor.

    hey, i don't hold grudges…it's not in my nature, i try and i fail, so i'm going to acknowledge his b-day, others may join me, and others may not…but i was just letting yall know. carry on.

  101. I agree with Teacia it would be cold not to wish him a happy birthday

    i also agree with Jolie fatale why are we talking about him?

    Hasani if you are actually reading this today i hope you have a wonderful birthday tomorrow. even if your comments annoy the h3ll outta me. I still wish you a happy birthday tomorrow.

    @Cuzzo i don't know many respectable ppl that still have tongue rings. dont most people take them out after college or after they turn 21 or never get them at all?

  102. @jolie..HAHAHA…YOU ARE SO F*CKING HILARIOUS

    FYI…tongue rings = black lip liner

    that shyt is so played out, and only young girls and women of ill-repute wear them, lol

  103. Sometimes in a relationship people let issues fester and not speak on it, and that’s where communication comes into play. They’d rather deal with something that was a minor issue, but once it becomes major, that’s when they want to speak out on it…

    Who’s to say he wasn’t fine with it before? I’m sure everyone, at one point in their life, has had issues in a relationship that they didn’t speak on. I wrote a post about Communicable Diseases (http://www.funkyblackchick.com/2007/10/communicable-diseases/) a while back..which stressed the fact that people need to rid themselves of communication issues..etc..etc..b/c that’s usually the downfall of relationships.

  104. At the risk of being too direct I often will talk about sex with someone before we even have relations, just so I can get a handle on what I might be dealing with. In this case, I wouldve found out if she gives BJ’s and her reason for not doing so ASAP. Then I can decide if its a big deal or not.

  105. @ tea: oh…i never paid attn to what the blog or the dude looked like. just know his name was highlighted.

    blah – keep the party going.

    Jac – "I wish I could have put the sound I just made through the computer Lunch w. the ex."

    *raises brow* what's that about?

  106. @jolie…i think you’re my soul twin, lmao

    @jac…a hustler store!!! what!! I WANNA GOOOO!!!

    @Ane “it’s a sign of sexual incompatibility, which is the deal breaker.” and THAT shyt is a dealbreaker

    maybe over the course of three years, he’s been trying to work with her..he didn’t say she DOESN’T do it, he said she didn’t like doing it…he also said he’s talked to her about it. it doesn’t seem that he just woke up and jumped outta bed yellin “I CAN’T TAKE THIS SHYT NO MOE!”

    ps…is it weird that the idea of a dude making me shower b4 s.ex makes me feel dirty? i dunno, it’s somehow a little degrading. i’m all about hygiene and everything and ya know if i’m all icky and sweaty then fine but everytime we do it i have to take a shower first? i dunno, that’s just a little strange.

  107. @Humble: Nope, you’re not alone in that preference (although I dont share it). But, you definitely need a superhead. Every man should have a superhead experience, at least once.

  108. she is a stepford..I guarantee the sex will altogether cease if he ever decides to marry her

    she doesn’t like sex..she is pretending she does to keep him around

    Unless he has a low sex drive or plans on beating his meat the rest of his life..he should split ASAP

    and HUMBLE..U haven’t had GREAT head yet..u’d like that over doggie anyday when you do

  109. @ Tea – oh yea girl – i read something about her and her family the other day. it talks about white privilege and how the issues that palin and her clan are going through would be viewed totally diff if she were black. i'll email it to ya – what's ure address?

  110. @Cuzzo: [email protected]

    yeah that's what the minister is talking about in the video…how we have to jump over hoops to be considered equal to a chic who grew up in trailor park galavanting her pregnant teen daughter around with no shame…but if she were black we'd be calling her a tr*ck ass welfare mom who slept with her husband's partner…but for some reason the media doesn't focus on the inequality.

  111. @Cuzzo-Well I have work to do which is why I am on my laptop but I am sitting across the table from my ex having lunch and yes he is a swinger. We have fun. We're friends.

    Sarah Palin is a beauty queen who might have a wh*red her way to a better life.

    @No more-tsk tsk…

    @Bree-when you want me girl?

  112. Damn Cuzzo…yeah that was the most, and to think it was written by a white man.

    I think we really need to wake-up…not much has changed over the last 50 years except technology.

  113. @ Tea – I just sent it to you.

    @ Jac- I wanna come to. is Bree here? or is she still on time-out?

    @ No More – I don't think the ring was whore-ish, just not respectable – like I wouldn't take that person seriously. I don't have a clear cut definition of whore really. I think back to some of the things I've done and say hey, that was kinda slutacious – bad girl, bad bad girl.

  114. peace out Tea!

    @ Jac- I wanna come to. is Bree here? or is she still on time-out?

    @ No More – I don’t think the ring was wh0re-ish, just not respectable – like I wouldn’t take that person seriously. I don’t have a clear cut definition of whor3 really. I think back to some of the things I’ve done and say hey, that was kinda slutac!ous – bad girl, bad bad girl.

  115. This head subject is like beating a dead horse… Ready for Fustian Fridays!

    My vote goes towards change…I like the new formatting!

  116. Did someone mention tongue ring? I dated this guy with a tongue ring once and let's just say there are times I sure miss Mike.

    Teacia, I didn't know it was "his" birthday. Happy B'day just in case you're watching 🙂

    Anyway, back to work I go.

  117. @ Shelia – the person still has to have skills. I dated a guy with a tongue ring once also. let's just say – good riddance, L.

    @Nicki – I don't know what it is but I see it to. It takes you to Eathan's blog which relates to today's topic.

  118. Happy bday Hasani. Life is too short and never promised for beef. Besides its all just a bi-product of wanting to be heard.

    @Nicki-Eathan linked into SBM titled: "Like a Lollipop".

    Hi Shelia you working on war and peace revisited?

    …back to work I go too. I need a nap.

  119. Happy bday H. Life is too short and never promised for beef. Besides its all just a bi-product of wanting to be heard.

    @Nicki-Eathan linked into SBM titled: "Like a Lollipop".

    Hi Shelia you working on war and peace revisited?

    …back to work I go too. I need a nap.

    [email protected]^ni's name is filtered and goes to moderation???? anyway happy bday.

  120. @Jac – I'm really into kissing and sex, ideally both at the same time. I'd prefer to get some quick foreplay head then get into the main event, as opposed to the foreplay being the main event. Maybe I just haven't received dome from the BJ Queen, but so far my mind hasn't changed.

  121. I so don't want to get out of my bed right now, but I have so much to do and so little time to do it in. I's tired.

    @Neonnea: played as it is, we still managed to post damn near 200 comments.

    This guy on Judge David Young is cute as hell, DAMMIT MAN!!!

  122. lol @ Tea talking about what's on TV. u eatting bon bons too? get ure @ss outta bed. have u done ure ten minutes today yet?

    @ Neon: come on this is a guy's blog. what u expect?

  123. …who is this yelling black lady who does the orajel commercial, she's so loud that i definitely believe that her shit was hurting.

    *hi-five* for Orajel

    ok so where is Mikki…it's been 3 days. did she win the auction?

    and Caylee's grandparents have been suffering, people(strangers) have been knocking on their doors starting fights…all this over some missing little white girl…damn, white privilege must be nice.

  124. @ Tea: "played as it is, we still managed to post damn near 200 comments."

    …and this is why…

    "…who is this yelling black lady who does the orajel commercial, she’s so loud that i definitely believe that her shit was hurting.

    *hi-five* for Orajel"

    😉

    @ Tea again – EWWWWWW. u nasty girl, u nasty.

  125. well…all this talk about sex and spit and swallowing…i had to have a full lunch today…my boo (marius) cooked us some steak, baked potatoes, side salad and then politely laid the pipe AFTER i sucked, slurped and swallowed!!! YEP…I DEFINATELY LOVE GIVEN HEAD!!! it has its rewards!!!!

  126. i sure dont…what "they" gone do about it…im grown and i do believe the first amendment gives me the right!!! so hey…if i think it…im definately saying it!!! wouldnt have it any other way!!!

    side bar: and now that i kno that i dont have to update ur pretty ass…i wont…refer to myspace

  127. @Jolie-Poor girl, please get some this weekend.

    @J. McFly-I can feel that…is that with everyone or just women that you love? A good friend that you don't do that unless you love the girl? Is that true?

    @Tea-AAs? For what? I got some. I'll send 'em your way.

    I am in bed too…before work AGAIN…uh oh.

  128. Cuzzo: very raunchy. But seriously this self imposed celibacy is for the birds. I just havent MET (f2f) the one i am willing to give up my (insert number) virginity to!?

    I dont want no button size pentis, I dont want an uncircumed pentis, I want a long, gerthy penti that can TWERK IT!

  129. Pingback: Like A Lollipop |
  130. ya'll negresses are a mess. @cuzzo…why did i think i made up slutacious? guess i'll just take credit for sophisti-slut…speaking of which, i just tried on my birthday outfits (everything finally came in the mail) and i must say jean-claude-van-DAMM I'M FINE!! (haha, direct quote from The Fresh Prince)

    @Jolie…don't worry chica, there's a pentis around the corner just waiting for ya…you'll know him when you see him b/c he'll be gentleman enough to stand when you walk into the room.

    @Teacia…you didn't post many comments today? errr…what's your definition of "many"…lmao

  131. I don't have a problem wishing happy bday to that young man ON HIS BIRTHDAY…and i honestly think we all should. He should get to witness first hand that we aren't angry, mean, unhappy black women who can't rise above the BS and offer a fellow "family" member a happy bday…maybe it will melt his lil heart and he'll straighten up his act….or maybe i've been drinking the kool-aid

  132. i have some lined up but I am just not sure when or who i will give it to. I did get told today that my "shat is addictive" dont want a gaggle of addicts following me around ya feel me.

    Why does it feel like Friday!?

    happy early birthday H-MAN!

  133. So…Jolie…I don't think it's safe if people are chasing you around…

    @bree-When am I invited? I am ready girl..I have a prospect in ATL…

  134. At that point Bree I hadn't posted that many…honestly before the b-day shot to S*ani I had only posted like a 1 or 20 comments…lol.

    Happy early b-day Sani baby!!

  135. Why did the end of Hell's Kitchen just have me crying…floodgates opened!!

    Whew, i'm going to call it a night, it's been a busy evening.

    Night all.

  136. If a man breaks up with a woman because she doesn't do oral, then that's pretty sad. Come on! I just it's true what Little Jackie said "women think with their brains, men think with their penis."

  137. Hi

    My name is Donald I live in Oakland California. Black woman don't
    know how to act When a man see a black woman they teruned they heard
    when a man tried to talk to she on the street. she thank that she
    better than tham.I do not like that at all. a black woman run in
    a white man face in sopke to tham in they don't care about a black
    woman all they want is a pieace of ass. in they would use tham for
    money in they don't want to see any more.

  138. Umm, Donald I can barely understand what you are trying to say. First of all, some black men try to come at black women the wrong way. They say "hey baby", 'damn baby you got a phat ass", a, let me get your number." A respectable black woman will not respond to this ignorance. Some men need to learn some manners before they try and talk to a woman, or like some men like to say "holla". Also, you can tell those hundreds of thousands BW/WM married couples that they only want them for sex. LOL! If you didn't know, BW and WM marriages have been the fastest growing interracial coupling for the past 4-5 years. Let them know they only want each other for sex and money. Also, more info for you, BW and WM also have the second lowest divorce rate amongst interracial, AW and WM come first. We can all guess who has the highest, but I won't be like that. Not saying that that doesn't happen, but it happens all across the board. Why do you think everyone's marriage rate is down from 10-20 years ago! I just thought I'd school you a little bit. Also, next time use spell and grammar check, please.

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