“Did he buy you a new purse?”
“Did he buy you some shoes?”
“Then he must have taken you out to some super exclusive restaraunt. Five stars … right?”
“Then how can you say he loves you???”
“Uh … cause he’s caring, affectionate, and shows me he loves me!”
“Please … that n***a ain’t spending money … he’s don’t love you”
To this second girl in this scenario who is trying to make this special and lucky woman feel unhappy … kindly kill yourself.
It personally pains me when the small percentage of good, “I’m going to treat my woman right”, loving, and caring (Black) men out here are discredited because they can’t or don’t spend copious amounts of money on their girlfriends.
Junior talked about it before and I have to throw in my two cents.
Now, I must clarify. I’m not talking about the no good boyfriend who just doesn’t do anything (I can’t tell them to kill themselves … but a flesh wound might be in order) because they are a cancer and discredit to us good black men. They put a sour taste in the mouth of good women and help contribute to the overwhelming number of no good bucketheads and golddiggers who are scorned and spend their lives trying to “balance the universe”. These men are not the victims I am talking about.
Who I am talking about is that loving, caring, and compassionate brother who, for some reason or another, just can’t afford to buy you Louis Vuton purses every month or take you out to Ruth Chris’ every other week. He loves you and spends his time and effort to let you know it … but the money just isn’t there.
Now … there are plenty of valid reasons that he can’t spend copious amounts of money even though his love is genuine:
- He ain’t got it
Just cause he’s broke doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. He was probably broke when you started dating, so why do you expect different. If he wasn’t and now he is … then stop being a shallow b* and hold him down.
- He’s got obligations
A mortgage, car note, school loans, child support … whatever. In this case he has money … it’s just that he has a significant amount of obligations. The poor guy probably over extended himself in the past and is now trying to get his life right.
- He’s saving up for something
A future house, going off to school, or maybe he’s about to start a business. There are a lot of valid reasons where he might need to save his money.
- He’s fiscally conservative
Now, this is a huge issue with so many females. How many poor guys have been unfairly labeled with “cheap” … damn shame. If he spends money on himself (new shoes every week, shopping sprees, etc) and claims he doesn’t spend a lot of money … that’s an issue. But if he is someone who just doesn’t spend money loosely … don’t fault the guy. I can’t stand women who feel that being careful about where your money goes is a negative … that’s that bullsh*t!
With all that being said, a guy should be showing his woman that she is loved (just like she needs to do for him). If he doesn’t have money to spend, thoughtful low cost dates, plenty of time, words of concern, and random acts of thoughtfulness are all in order … but please please don’t let money be an indicator of love. Love is so much deeper than greenbacks or the willingness to go into debt over someone.
Love is deeper people. Don’t cheapen it.