The Trench Coat Test

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One thing I have heard from women throughout my entire life is “Me and him are just friends”.

Yes … a man and a woman … friends … sure.

Now … there are a million and one reasons why this is absolutely asinine (90% of the time).  First you have the simple fact that a platonic friendship requires for both parties to be interested in just friendship.  If he wants to and is willing to have sex with you … how is that a true friendship?  Then you have the innate physical attraction and desire that has kept the human race procreating for thousands of years.  I could go on and on … but that’s all for another post on another day.

I am here to focus on a simple test that I developed years ago to help women, once and for all, determine if “we’re just friends”.  Something I have aptly named … The Trench Coat Test.

See Also:  When Bad Conversations Happen To Good People

Now, this is a test that a woman can perform on a man to in order to determine their “friendship” status.  A man could in theory attempt this same test … but I have very little confidence that it would work.

So … on to the test.

These instructions are written for the women.  Take one of your so called “male friends”, follow these directions to the letter, and monitor the reaction.  If he fails, (which 90% of men will) … then he is obviously not your friend.  if he passes … then its pretty safe to say that is your good buddy for life.

So … again … the test:

  1. In your own house far away from the target male … get ass naked.  Optionally, you can put on some extremely revealing and sexy lingerie.
  2. Get a full length trench coat that covers from your neck down to your ankles and put it on … making sure to cover your entire body.
  3. Got to the target’s house.
  4. As he opens the door … open trench coat.
  5. Say two words … and only two words … “Take me”.

That’s it.  Simply ain’t it.  There are a million and one ways for the guy to fail.  First, he could “take you”.  He could just kiss you.  Maybe he will give or attempt to get some head.  Even if he just grabs a tittie … he fails!

See Also:  Relationship Survival Kit: The Five Tools of Highly Successful Summer Flings

The point is there is only one … and simply one way for him to pass the test:

He responds with … “No … I don’t want to ruin the friendship”.  Or some variation thereof.

That’s it.  Pretty simple test right.

No … go out and test the strength of your so-called “friendship”.  See if that guy who you claim is “like a brother” isn’t willing to wear out that backside make gently and sweet love to you.  Go ahead … go out and test these n****s.  Come back on over to SBM and let the fam know how it went.

It’s cool … I’ll  wait.

Comment(197)

  1. I am too thru with you SBM! LOL!!! My bf has more "female platonic friends" than I can count or keep track of…*shaking my head* men are something else.

    I do however agree with you. I have a few platonic male friends, but the majority of them have at one time or another hit on me in the past. Men seem to test those waters before vowing that they're just our "friend".

  2. Platonic Male Friends are just Friends you havent fugged yet. Thats all. A man is man and a woman is a woman EVENTUALLY unless the other person has a significant other if you and the person share common insterest and are relatively attractive something MIGHT go down! I'm just saying

  3. I have no illusions that my male friends would jump my bones given the opportunity, so I just don't take that into consideration when determining if a guy is my friend. I know that if I showed up bucked naked every last one of them would "fail", but that still doesn't nullify our friendship. I deal with people how they are, and I know that's just the nature of men, so I act accordingly to make sure I keep certain relationships above board. It's not the desire to cross that line that determines the relationship, it's how you ACT and the decisions you make to ensure that things don't go there.

  4. Let's be real… there is no such thing as being JUST FRIENDS if the said parties do not have significant others and that relationship is respected.

  5. I have no platonic male friends.. they have always ended up trying me. Not saying it can't be done, but I haven't found a case yet.

  6. Good Morning Everyone,

    I like this test it is a good idea. I think a lot of women are naive about some of their male friends. I would be lying if I said I didnt want to have sex with some of my female friends. I wont attempt to have sex with them or if they offered I would turn it down. I respect our friendship too much to ruin it just to get my d**k wet. I value them more as a friend than a nut. I am too scared of us not being able to have the same relationship we had before sex was involved. I've noticed that more women than men have slept with their friend or friends of the opposite sex.

  7. Venting: My bf has these pseudo ass friendships with chicks he once upon a time use to bang. I've even met two of them in person. Now granted, I don't think that anything has happened in a while with them and the two I met seem nice… and I'm a beyond confident woman… but that -ish boils me from time to time. Am I suppose to be okay with his ex-jumpoff calling him for man advice? Am I suppose to be passive when they buy him gifts for the Holiday? Grrrrrrrrrr.

  8. @Ms. Freckles: "Am I suppose to be okay with his ex-jumpoff calling him for man advice? Am I suppose to be passive when they buy him gifts for the Holiday?"

    HELLLL NO. I'd be pissed. From one confident woman to the next, it has nothing to do with the relationship with your man. Some women are triflin and scandalous and I don't think they need to be contacting him anymore!

  9. @Humble: Man … come on. You know if that "friend" with the booty came around you licking her lips and saying "take me" … you would smash!

    @Mia: Hmmmm … hit me on that email …

    @The Women: If you know he would sleep with you … does that qualify as a platonic friend? You might be able to call him a friend of sorts … but not a platonic friend in my opinion.

  10. Personally, I think men/women can be platonic friends, its about the maturity level. But like a commenter said on my own blog, it's b/c of the sexually charged environment we live in, people seem to see it as being impossible.

    I have guy friends that I'm closer to than female friends, and no, they're not men that I've slept with or even thought about sleeping with.

  11. @SBM: If you define "platonic friend" as "a man who never contemplated doing the do with you" then platonic male friends are mythical creatures, like unicorns. That is, of course, unless they are gay.

    Question: If you do the do with an otherwise friend (let's just say out of boredom, curiosity, whatever) but nothing else comes of it, what is that considered? I'm talking one (or two) times and that's it, but everything else stays (relatively) the same. Personally, I still consider them friends.

  12. @ SBM: "If you know he would sleep with you … does that qualify as a platonic friend? You might be able to call him a friend of sorts … but not a platonic friend in my opinion."

    I don't think so, because if I come to him, and ask for advice regarding another guy, he probably wouldn't be objective.

  13. I feel like this is the greatest test ever designed to fail black men, better than the SATs and ACTs (you know all standardized test are setup for the average negro to fail horribly). I don't know if the test needs to be this extreme but it would definitely prove one thing, that your guy friend is 100% gay!!!

    -JM
    MrSwagger.com

  14. @Anesidora: If you smash … he's not a platonic friend. That platonic keyword is big here. And your right … the platonic male friend is like a unicorn … that't my point.

    @Funky: You aint tell me anything. And your fooling yourself … cause all these "good friends" would quickly wear out that backside.

  15. I've tried and I've tried and I've tried…LOL..but not alot men wanna just be my friend. Even with my shoe buddy (who has one foot out the closet) he throws little innuendos even when were having a serious conversation.

    And all of my gay or suspect male friends have made it throughout ALL of my relationships with other men. I guess gay men don't really intimidate the straight SO's.

    Maybe Im not yet "emotionally mature" to commence a truely platontic friendship, Im just not sure they exist particularly without boundaries being crossed and PARTICULARLY when one or the other is in a serious relationship. (whereby personal and private [email protected] business is being discussed and on the sneak??) is that a friendship or a loophole???

    let me take a minute for myself LOL to ponder.

  16. A FOOL!!! this test sucks ash for the simple fact that if you attempt to cross those boundaries after a friendship lyfetime of claiming, "we are just friends" then hes gonna think u r ok with being more than just friends…and since "I" put myself out there, then its really my damn fault for whatever happens next….so lets say he does grab a tittie…am i now suppose to be upset??? i mean, how could he betray our friendshipa and grab my tittie!!!! WELL I NEVER…again…A FOOL!!!

    Men & women can be friends…regardless to whether or not there are underlying feelings and attractions…its gonna happen cuz dammit its human nature…it is the responsibility of each party to remain friends and chose not to take things to another level!!!

  17. @SBM: You have a couple of close female friends, if D or S came to the door…well let's just say D, b/c you have a reason to turn S away, but if she came and said, "take me" would you in fact take her?

  18. "There is a thin line… and I don’t feel these pseudo friendships are platonic at all!"

    @ Ms Freckles TOTALLY AGREE. Im not tryna be judgemental (wait thats what i do LOL) but if you're having a conversation via IM about your [email protected] affairs regarding a woman you just married "with your friend" YOUR WIFE SHOULD KNOW (a) and why can't said convo be commenced over the phone in present company (b). …psuedo @sseded friendships and more [email protected] fairy dust.

  19. @SBM: Whatever! Just remember every convo..I'm taking notes & copyrighting it! lol

    Nah, if you want those references, I'll give you a couple of those names..and they'll be like "hell no"!

    Aside @ SBM: What's up with these MD.DC chicks? I'm going to give my guy friends RT tickets to NJ, so they can find a decent one up there, b/c these women down here are straight crazy!

  20. good morning all…

    let today be better then yesterday and tomorrow better then today!

    ok now that I got the affirmations out the way..

    Now about todays topic, there is a thin line between f*ck buddies and platonic male/female relationships. I have often gotten into friendships with guys who were just trying to bide their time until I was available to try to pounce on me…lol.

    so my thoughts, trench coat test? good idea…even though a woman can sense if someone wants it!

  21. Good Morning Folks!

    HA! All of my friends would fail miserably. I got too much assets to turn down. And I agree with teenamarie, you're putting yourself out there – so any repercussion is your fault. A friendship when a male/female is constantly coming at you is not platonic. If he or she hints at it once, get's deaded and leaves it alone – u can still be friends.

  22. This is a test that is designed for a man to fail; it takes advantage of a man’s primal instinct to smash every woman in sight. That’s like taking a final exam that you have to ace to pass the class, and someone gives you the answer sheet and you know you won’t get caught. Any heterosexual and a lot of gay men would fail that test if the woman is at least a five. Unless the man is in a marriage or a serious relationship, we will fail everytime because we are stimulated visually. Besides, that’s just helping a friend in need, what kind of friend would you be if you said no?

    “Take me.”

    “Well, I grudgingly and reluctantly accept. I’m only doing this because I value our friendship so much.”

  23. Welll…hmm.

    "Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship."

    There's another one but I can't find it right yet.

  24. "Besides, that’s just helping a friend in need, what kind of friend would you be if you said no?"

    @ Hugh – Ure kidding right? That's precisely when you should step up and be a friend and not try to take advantage of her in that weak moment.

  25. @Hugh-You are too much. For the good of the friendship huh…I mean every now and again you have to hit the friend's spot cause what if they get stressed and yell at you…LOL also check ur e-mail I got my personal trainer question there.

  26. Cuzzo: "@ Hugh – Ure kidding right? That’s precisely when you should step up and be a friend and not try to take advantage of her in that weak moment."

    To paraphrase Nelly, I'm joking…unless you're going to do it.

  27. @ Hugh: riiiiiight.

    btw – I thought your name was a joke until I saw a guy named Hugh Jazz on Facebook in the Stuff Blk Ppl Hate group – is that you?

  28. ya seriously. I had someone come over at a weak moment and I let her cry and rebuked the advance, then changed the akward moment to "yo lets get mad" and started throwing stuff around my place like I was crazy and more upset than she was.

    Its kinda hard to turn down women for sex because they take it WAAAAAAAY more personally than we do.
    Id still nail 99% of the OTHER women in my circle given the right situation and the trench coat test…. given that they are actually a woman that I would sleep with without wanting to vomit.

  29. i didn't know men turned down @zz like that..wow..i guess thats another sterotype i need to re-check along with the fact that only "unappealing" women have a gaggle of male friends who "only want to be friends".

  30. "i guess thats another sterotype i need to re-check along with the fact that only “unappealing” women have a gaggle of male friends who “only want to be friends”."

    lol @ Comeback – yea, those unattractive females have it all.

  31. @ Cuzzo: "lol @ Comeback – yea, those unattractive females have it all."

    yes and though beauty is relative …im still suspcious, hell maybe i'm just curious. I used to have a friend who only had male friends and I used to feel like me and her other friend were social experiments. Relationships with other women are important too.

    where's why so to shower us with is take…i kind of miss him 🙁

  32. I have a lot of male friends… I know at least three of em have told the other males in our cirlce of friends that they 'wanna hit it' with me. If you are an adult, you laugh it up, joke about it a few time and leave it alone.

    I have found in my 27 years of life, that its better to have more male friends b/c female are just sneaky and jeleous(sp?)over dumb ish.

  33. Seriously this girl is a very sexy girl…but she's just had too many men. Scandalous. I don't have not one mutual male friend that would do her because they're all like she don't use condoms…any male who don't know is like accidental Kamikaze d*ck

  34. "I have found in my 27 years of life, that its better to have more male friends b/c female are just sneaky and jeleous(sp?)over dumb ish."

    i don't believe this being a product of an all woman's institution (not prison LOL). There are sneaky and jealous men , just like there are sneaky and jealous women and usually the one's who claim both exhibit it the most. imho.

  35. Cuzzo: "@ Hugh: riiiiiight.

    Seriously, I have two female friends that I would probably succeed in passing the Trench Coat test because we've been friends for so long. For most of the others, if I wasn't involved with someone else, me smash like Hulk. It's like Chris Rock said, "it's haaaaaard for a man to turn down sex. If it chases us, we can't run that fast."

    "btw – I thought your name was a joke until I saw a guy named Hugh Jazz on Facebook in the Stuff Blk Ppl Hate group – is that you?"

    No, that's not me. I don't have a Facebook or Myspace page. The name is a joke, I chose the screen name Hugh Jazz because:

    1. Some people say I can be a jerk (although I'm the nicest guy in the world).

    2. I can squat and leg press some pretty heavy weight.

    3. The name amuses me.

  36. @Hugh – then there is a man out there with a really funny name. Imagine getting that resume in front of you…

    The name is amusing, known from one of Bart's many prank calls to Moe.

  37. I do believe there are those instances where a male and a female start off as platonic friends but then they get to know each other and one starts to crush on the other and want something more. I think that happens more often than not.

    @Jac: who you speaking of?

  38. @hugh-It's like the sister/brother thing. Now if we're on that level I ain't even gonna try. I had a friend who was like you're my little sister I walked in on him in the shower and ran like hell and I loves me some sex. Also can u check that mail and get me an answer…I gotta start soon 🙂 I have plans.

    @Cuzzo-In My Humble Opinion I'm the SBPH too!

  39. @Cuzzo
    "HA! All of my friends would fail miserably. I got too much assets to turn down."

    Is that right?

    @Hugh Jazz
    “it’s haaaaaard for a man to turn down sex. If it chases us, we can’t run that fast.”"

    Its not too hard. It all depends on the woman and situation.

  40. I forgot to mention that this test works for good looking women only. If your a 3 (and you know if you are) … there is a good chance the man may pass the test.

    Also, if the guy is a lot more attractive than you … or very full of himself … then he might pass.

    Lastly, if you think about it … guys don't usually have ugly female friends. And there is a reason for that!

  41. Hey, ya'll!

    I've been lurking for a while and given this entry, I HAD to come outta lurking only because I'm VERY tempted to to do this. I mean SBM just done touched on a fantasy of mine.

    Only problem is, the one guy I'd want to do it to isn't close in proximity. Ah well. Glad to be here among you fine people. 🙂

  42. @Humble: "Its not too hard. It all depends on the woman and situation."

    Get the f*ck outta here!

    Hard is an understatement. Its like a crack head being offered a free pipe ready to go with some free rocks.

    Sure … if she is ugly, is a known Herpes carrier, and is your best friends wife … its not that hard … otherwise … it's oh so hard.

  43. @SBM
    "come on. You know if that “friend” with the booty came around you licking her lips and saying “take me” … you would smash!"

    I wouldn't smash. At one time I wanted too but they are way to cool. Do I notice that her booty is big, round, and sits high? Yes I do. But I don't want to jeopardize our friendship just for sex. I guess I just have more control than other men.

  44. "@Cuzzo-In My Humble Opinion I’m the SBPH too!"

    @ Jac – how you gonna explain one acronym then use another one that confuses me. I'm on text language level 1.

    @ Humble

    "Is that right?"

    u wanna remain in the celibacy club, right?

  45. "its like you start sentences like you’ve been talking to somebody else for an hour…and then you cut and paste half of it here."

    @ Comeback – lol, yes! I noticed that but didn't say anything. hadda scroll up like where did that come from?

  46. "Lastly, if you think about it … guys don’t usually have ugly female friends. And there is a reason for that!"

    why…if you smashin are youre really only concerned about what she looks like from behind, why complicate matters with a face. To me "ugly" keeps things tight, zipped and pure.

  47. @Comeback-I tole ya I iz scatterbrained.

    @Cuzzo-Stuff Black People Hate. Gosh I thought you'd get that!

    @Missy-I know right. I'd've cussed you out! Do I always talk in riddles?

    @Humble-No comment on your restraint and control

  48. Hello all! I've been lurking for quite some time. Please excuse my shady ways. 🙂

    @Comeback: "i don’t believe this being a product of an all woman’s institution "

    Spelman perhaps?? If so, Hi sister!

  49. @SBM
    "Get the f*ck outta here!

    Hard is an understatement. Its like a crack head being offered a free pipe ready to go with some free rocks.

    Sure … if she is ugly, is a known Herpes carrier, and is your best friends wife … its not that hard … otherwise … it’s oh so hard."

    Thats my word. I have turned down sex from women I wanted to have sex with because of attitude, big mouths, etc. I have turned down sex when my man was at attention. I am not pressed. Well now I am but in the past I was not.

  50. I dont have that problem of jeopardizing a friendship after s3x.Most of the female friends I have became better friends after we screwed.

  51. @SBM family- if a man did this and the female failed/passed what does that accomplish?? What does that say about the male??

  52. @Ms. Freckles
    "My bf has these pseudo ass friendships with chicks he once upon a time use to bang. I’ve even met two of them in person. Now granted, I don’t think that anything has happened in a while with them and the two I met seem nice… and I’m a beyond confident woman… but that -ish boils me from time to time. "

    It seems that some people have a permanent bond with some people they have sex with. I dont get it. I have never felt compelled to maintain a friendship with any woman after sex.

  53. @Indiana: If the female failed then it means the man has a potential new cutbuddie to play with. If the female passed then it means the man just embarassed himself for years to come.

  54. Indiana Jones – "if a man did this and the female failed/passed what does that accomplish?? What does that say about the male??"

    Well, considering all women would look downward when he opens his trench: If she passes the test and says no, then the male fails…at life.

  55. I went to a PWI…well back in the mid to late 90s!!! my hi sister has a slightly different ya-ya connotation of the rainbow coalition variety. LOL

    Awww…I thought I found a fellow Spelmanite. But I definitely agree w/your comment about many guys being as sneaky as some women. That trait is not gender exclusive.

    Side note: Women who can't/refuse to get along with other women baffle me!

  56. " dont have that problem of jeopardizing a friendship after s3x.Most of the female friends I have became better friends after we screwed."

    @ No More – and these friends knew u slept with these other friends? wtf? tha don't sound right.

  57. @ no more & cheekie- exactly my point. its embarassing to whoever does it and if it doesnt work out then you still have an akward friendship.

  58. "Side note: Women who can’t/refuse to get along with other women baffle me!"

    @ Better Than – that makes sense. If you can't/refuse to, maybe that says something about your character. Like, if you choose not to get close to females because they might be jealous of you, um, ure sh!t stank too. ure smellin' yaself a lil too hard.

  59. @Better than Most: "Side note: Women who can’t/refuse to get along with other women baffle me!"

    ME TOO! I've heard the sentiment over and over, that women are trouble, and while I agree that YES, some of them are, I've got soo many girl friends. You just have to watch your judge of character.

  60. @Cuzzo, Nicki Sunshine, and Comeback – I could never understand women not getting along with other women. Actually one of my rules is not to date women without friends. Women that don't get along with other women can be headaches sometimes.

  61. @Humble: "Actually one of my rules is not to date women without friends. Women that don’t get along with other women can be headaches sometimes."

    I can see this type of woman cussing ure momma out cuz she's jealous your of relationship. pfft.

  62. I have a group of platonic male friends that I have been tight with ever since freshman year of college. When I don't feel like doing the girly ish with my ladies, I hang with them. Even though we're 7 years in the game on the friendship tip, I'm sure some of them would fail the test miserably. However, I would never put them in that position in the first place, and they would never try to make that move on me.

    So….we're good, lol!

  63. @Humble: "Actually one of my rules is not to date women without friends. Women that don’t get along with other women can be headaches sometimes."

    I can't say that I blame you for that one… it's just weird if you can't get along with your own sex….

  64. It's been awhile, dealing with alot over here, but this post made my day a lil lighter,but back to the post:

    I HAVE MANY "PLATONIC" MALE FRIENDS!!! Reason being is that I'm everything they dont want in a girl. NOt to say I look like a dog,quite the contrary, but most of my guy friends right now are looking for groupie status girls and i'm def not it. I dont bow down and worship them because they are attractive,smart,funny, or whathaveyou that makes these girls just drop their draws. And they inform me about every single sexual escapade they've had, want to have, or are in the process of doing (Yes one of my guy friends called me during one, another told me he conviced a girl to give him head on a park bence as he filmed it, yes i need new friends, but we've known each other since elementary school.) But they see me as one of the guys,and well i see them for the disgusting immature boys they are, that i'm there for no matter what.

  65. Humble One: "Its not too hard. It all depends on the woman and situation."

    Generally speaking, that's true. I've turned it down several times. We had the pen!$ power discussion a few weeks back. But the question as posed was if a female friend showed up either in lingerie or naked under a trench coat, and the only words uttered was "take me", what would you do. Speaking personally, in that situation, I don't think I could say no, with the exception of two female friends, and even in their cases it would require a bit of austerity.

  66. @Nicki-Girl you're nuts. I just love love love you all.

    Yeh, I don't understand women who can't get along with other women. I honestly have some of the best female friends ever. Take for example Missy, she's fabulous wouldn't take nothing for her!

    And my blog sister's I just love you all.

  67. Given: "I HAVE MANY “PLATONIC” MALE FRIENDS!!! "

    But is it by choice? A lot of guys are in platonic relationships by default because their female friend won't have sex with them, for whatever reason. If they're "in your league", they almost certainly would have a one-night stand with you if given the opportunity. Most women never notice because the guy won't make the first move due to either jeopardizing the friendship or fear of rejection. I've dated women whose "friend" looked daggers in my direction. Just because you won't have sex with them and they respect that doesn't mean they don't want to have sex with you.

  68. ok im skimmin way out of order. Im still trippin off of SBM's "if the man looks better than the woman" postualte. This is so gay to even think or say.

    When I was in NY back in the day men would do that. Esp if you dissed them…"i look better than you anyway"

    WHAT rupaul???

  69. @jolie

    "That should be a blog post “MEN ARE EASY!”"

    B.S. I am a man and I am far from easy.

    @Hugh Jazz

    "But the question as posed was if a female friend showed up either in lingerie or naked under a trench coat, and the only words uttered was “take me”, what would you do. Speaking personally, in that situation, I don’t think I could say no, with the exception of two female friends, and even in their cases it would require a bit of austerity."

    I would still turn it down. I can't let my d**k ruin a frienship. Not to say I wouldn't want to do it. I dont want to marry her. I just want to have sex with her. More than likely if she is coming at me in this way she wants more than friendship. We all know how one person wanting just sex and the other person wanting more works out.

  70. I mean i'm pretty sure some would have back in the day when we were younger but i mean some of them i'm just not they're type( they have that whole i want a video ho/model chick) but i mean it hasnt detracted from our friendship.

  71. " they have that whole i want a video ho/model chick)"

    after a man gets a certain age, i mean sure its still a little fantasy, but most of the men I know and am related to who are still single and 30+ aren't lookin to wife a video ho.

  72. I think men and women can be platonic friends. It does take maturity on both parties part for it to work. Since college, I've always had male friends. Grant it, some wanted more than friendship, but didn't pursue it. As far as I was concerned they were in the "friendship" category and they respected it. It's to a woman's advantage to have male friends. My male friends share things with me that help me understand some men. I've learned not to generalize ALL men.

    I can only recall one incident where one of my male friends crossed the line and that's when I told him I accepted my now ex-fiance's marriage proposal. He was hurt and admitted to having feelings for me. I'm like, why didn't you say something. Our friendship still exists, but it did change the dynamics. I no longer talk to him about other men.

  73. Comeback Girl I don't throw around the word "friend" because a good friend is hard to come by but an associate, now those are plenty.

    A friend is someone who can be trusted, who cares about you regardless without any stipulations, someone who may be your confidant, someone who is not a backbiter, someone who supports you and is real with you even when you don't want to hear it and the list goes on and on.

  74. @jolie

    "yes you are a PRUDE! I’ve determined. Give it up already shat!"

    PRUDE!!?? lol. I am not a prude. If love is a battlefield I am a soldier with strict discipline. I don't have a kamikaze d**k and I am not a simp or trick. With the right woman I'm down for almost anything and she can get it anytime.

  75. @Comeback
    "after a man gets a certain age, i mean sure its still a little fantasy, but most of the men I know and am related to who are still single and 30+ aren’t lookin to wife a video ho."

    This is true. What me and my friends had to learn the hard way is that the video girls are fun for the moment but are not what you want long term. As you get older you will sacrifice some of the face and booty and boob size for peace of mind.

  76. @jolie
    "I guess sir. Just never heard a man take that side of it. To each his own. Keep your platinum peni until you find the right one"

    When I said the right woman I was talking about going all out. I dont need the right woman to have sex. If you have something I am attracted to and the rest isnt too bad and I dont have to work for it you can get it.

  77. Since I have very very few ugly female friends… I've got a 99% chance of failure. And If i've been drinking… I'll fail 100% of the time. There's no way I'm gonna let a 3 letter word like sex ruin my friendship.. My friendship might ruin the quality of the sex…but I've gotta at least test it out..lol

  78. @Humble – uh, yea.

    "When I said the right woman I was talking about going all out. I dont need the right woman to have sex. If you have something I am attracted to and the rest isnt too bad and I dont have to work for it you can get it."

    why are u in the celibacy club? u waiting on a relationship or the above type I quoted from you?

  79. @No More Heroes
    "What if the face and booty is giving you the peace of mind to begin with?"

    Then you are good. I can't say that every video girl type is not marriage material. The problem is that they have been catered, spoiled, simped, and tricked on so much because of their looks. A lot of them are monsters when they become adults. They are just trophies.

  80. @humble:
    "I dont have to work for it you can get it."

    Thats just sad. Because i'm not giving it without a little work sir. Nothing in life is free and I'm not talking about paying for it or monetary value on my aquarium. I'm just saying it takes more than your face to make me spread my legs.

  81. SBM, you need therapy!!! There is no need to test this, because there is NO such thing as friends between a straight male and female. I wrote a post on this myself. The only male and female friendship is if he is a gay man. However, I would like to try this with some of my homeboys just for shits and giggles. But definitely not to determine if he would take it or not. Every male and female friendship is subject to sex on any day it just takes the right timing.

    @ Nicki: Celibacy Club, I am not doing well at all.

  82. @Ms. Deveraux: "Celibacy Club, I am not doing well at all."

    Some people say that's a good thing and some may say it's not. How do you feel, lady????

  83. @Ms. D: Man. that bullet got it's use two nights ago… other than that, I've just fell asleep. LOL.

    I'm going to VA Bach this weekend to see this guy and will layover in MD for three hours where I'll hang with the ex…. I'm just praying to keep the chastity belt on!

  84. @Jac: I"M DYING LAUGHING! LOL. It's in all caps cause that's how hard I'm laughing.

    Dang, dawg. Are you gonna come back or is it over for you?

  85. "@ Nicki: Celibacy Club, I am not doing well at all."

    @Ms.D: what does that mean – has it been difficult to keep ure legs closed?

    Club Meeting! Why are you (club members that is) celebate?

    I, myself, would prefer to have relations while in a monogamous relationship.

  86. @Cuzzo
    "why are u in the celibacy club? u waiting on a relationship or the above type I quoted from you?"

    I have a lot going on right now and I feel women would be a distraction. I am focused and I want to keep it that way.

    @Nicki Sunshine
    "Speaking of Celibacy club, how are our members doing with it?"

    The African community here had a party last weekend that I went to. There were a more than a few nice women in there. Ugh. I think I should stick to my video games. The more I go out the more opportunity. I know I am disciplined but every man has his breaking point. I dont want to find out what that is.

  87. @cuzzo:
    "Club Meeting! Why are you (club members that is) celebate?"

    I am celibate because it is wack to have sex with someone i dont care about to me. The sex is lack luster and why increase my numbers and have to do extra kegels for a wack guy I dont care about. When I find someone I could be in a relationship with I will do it again. Until then chastity belt back ON!

  88. @Cuzzo: I'm celibate because I've tried F'ing my way into a relationship and it never worked… so now he's gonna have to love me before he even gets there. I'm also trying to make it for religious purposes, but it's really more about reason number 1.

    @Humble: I don't blame you hon. REASON NUMBER ONE: why I haven't had anyone over at my apartment and I haven't been out. That's why prayer is needed for this trip. I will be staying with this guy!!!!

  89. @Cuzzo: I'm cracking up at keeping the minutes. Hey guys, I'm off work and will try to log on before class… you guys inspire me to continue with this! 🙂

  90. @Cuzzo-Was/is…kinda. Thinking about retracting membership for the weekend.

    @Jolie-I feel you.

    @Nicki-Not f'ing your way in

    @Humble-You know how I feel Mr.

  91. "@Cuzzo: I’m celibate because I’ve tried F’ing my way into a relationship and it never worked"

    @Nicki – hmmm, I think you're on to something here. I might have done this too. What's the scenario like?

    Boy meets girl. Boy takes girl out on dates. Boy and girl get it on. Girl wants a relationship. Boy is cool.

    or

    Boy meets girl. Boy and girl get it on (sans dates). Boy is cool. Girl wants to date now.

    I've experienced the latter.

    @Jolie – would that be the boredom goggles thing? I didn't get a chance to read your post about it but, this is what comes to mind – effing a person cuz u have nothing better to do.

  92. yeah F*cking your way in and out of relationships is dangerous for all. The girl wants more despite the fact that she just gave it up for free and the dude has to figure out if he wants to be with her for the long haul or was satisfied with a hit-n-run. Way too much confusion

    -JM

  93. Wow, am I the only person actively having relations here? Fun. Well I guess I'll just blurt out random thoughts…slow wet kisses on nipples!!!

    @jac: Yes.

  94. @ Jac: what can a female really say about backshots? we like em. that's about it. hair-pulling, throat-grabbing, hip-hurdling and all.

  95. @ Jac – who cares? it's anon anyway. 🙂

    not like I asked if she swallows or spits.

    @ No More – does she? lol oh, wait – or do they? could be sleepin with more than one person here.

  96. @Ms Dev: Yes! Yes I am.

    @Jac: Tell you more about slow wet kisses or the feeling when women cum?

    @Cuzzo: Prospetive GF…96% of the time…jumpoffs = 4%

  97. hair-pulling, throat-grabbing, hip-hurdling and all.slow wet kisses on nipples!!! Ok that's it I am putting in a call tonite!!!

  98. @No More: wait a minute, I must have had the wrong idea about jumpoffishness. thought the JO was supposed to do all the things GF didn't. wtf u need the JO for then?

  99. No More Heroes: You are worst than Teacia. I don't want to be with just anybody. Plus I want some great sex!!! How can I ensure that the guy is going to be good? I have no tolerance for anything else!

  100. "hair-pulling, throat-grabbing, hip-hurdling and all.slow wet kisses on nipples!!! Ok that’s it I am putting in a call tonite!!!"

    "I am celibate because I want to wait till I get in a monogamous relationship."

    @Ms.D: that is all.

  101. I firmly believe that men and women can be just friends and I have many guys that are just friends. JUST friends.

    and on a side note these posts are NOT helping with my part of the celibacy club and someone better help me out tonight cause i am going to watch the guys play football…

  102. @Ms.D: ah ah aah. ure words. not mines. 🙂

    how about just pampering ure self tonight? wash ure hair. give ureself a manicure. make a dish u've been wanting to try for a while. put on ure fave CD and dance with ureself.

  103. @Ms Dev: Im just joking. You shouldnt be with just anyone if you dont want. Now about great sex, well the only way you'll know is if you actually do it. I dont think theres any other way to tell.

  104. @My CB members – I am here for you. *hugs*

    btw, am I the only one not having a hard time? well me and goodie two shoes Humble *sticks out tongue @ humble* nyaaaa

  105. @Cuzzo: I dont need the jumpoffs necessarily…but I havent yet reached the point where I am 100% okay with being a one woman man. I am coming around to the ideasince I have met Prspective GF but I have actually been single all my life, and have always been free to do what I choose with who I want. So for me it is literally the hardest thing to do.

  106. @Cuzzo: Johnny has put a great definition on f'ing your way in. That is exactly what I was doing and it NEVER WORKED!

    Ms. D: I know, right???? God, I'm really hoping that I can make it. No screw that, I'm going in with confidence: I'm gonna make it!

  107. @Nicki – I'm gathering from Mr. McFly's response that there was no courtship and no dating involved.

    @No More: what the heezy – single all your life? how old are you? so, you've always had a side thing in all ure relationships?

  108. @Cuzzo you may well be the only one not having a problem. The last few weeks have been rough but last night and today… they are by far the worse. Last night I almost asked one of my co-workers to go home w/ me… and yeah i was sober (it was 2 am and we were at the bar but i was sober)…

    I need to get past this slump so bad… but right now havin someone behind me… oh dang dont let me start.

  109. @Cuzzo: 27…no side things, Ive never had a main thing to have a side thing. That was the whole purpose. Being single means I answer to no one but myself about who I'm with and what I do. If im out until 6am all weekend, or go on a spontaneous trip to Vegas during the week, or blow 500 at a strip club just cause I felt like it, then I can, and dont have to worry about anyones feelings being hurt, etc.

  110. @ No More – my last question for the day (unless your answer spawns another question) – so, do you let a female know that you have no plans of being in a monogamous relationship with her? or does it just eventually come out after she's fed up?

  111. @ Cuzzo: Great idea, I did make my favorite dish last nite and I do need to wash my hair.

    @ No More: Yeah I know. I just had a snickers ice cream bar so I am better.

  112. @Cuzzo: I am completely honest 100%. Some women accept that and like it better that way, no strings attached. Some say they are cool with it, but then feelings get involved and it becomes a sticky situation. Some women might not be cool with it, and tell me "I aint sh!t" and thats cool too. Im not trying to change minds or force anyone to compromise themselves. But I always said if I met a woman that made me want to change then I would, and thats what im going through now with Prospective GF.

  113. @ No More: I wish more people were 100% honest. I prefer it that way. Let me manage my emotions and expectation. Just be straight with me. Are you and Prospective GF intimate or you deal with your JO?

  114. im really not understanding what the big deal is here. Most times when you meet men, they are juggling half of their downtown metro area. Its either you know that, or you play dumb's baby cousin..aka.. little stupid-and you pretend like you both have an "understanding" when you really don't.

    until that "understandg" is reached I usually date like a who#re (while keeping mylegs together).

  115. Joining the celibacy with my head bowed in shame…those 7 weeks bought killed me last time but I'm back at least until my birthday.

    …i mean yall can't expect me to NOT at least get head on my birthday.

    btw…class blows…i can't believe I'm stuck here for another 2.5 hours. *sigh*

  116. @ no more- I have friends that are just like you and honestly I dont see anything wrong with that. Everybody needs options….right??

  117. I've always told my female "friends" when they start talking about how this new dude is sooo friendly, non-sexualized, and "doesnt want to get with me" that they are straight up being fooled. Unless they simply don't fit my standards, then I'd squash every single one of my female friends if given the chance.
    Now I wouldn't spend the time or energy to realistically pursue anything with the large majority b/c I know we won't get to that level, but if they tried the test on me, I'd fail stupendously.

  118. @ all the guys- do guys pick female friends based on how easy it will be to 'hit it' after being "friends" for a minute or do the really want to be friends??

    y'all are making me think my male friends all have hidden agendas,lol

  119. Sorry guys. I think I really am the baby. I require afternoon naps an ish. And I think I have to go back…Mannnn…Dr. Appt in the morning I hope they can diagnose me.

  120. I can't speak for all guys b/c some thrust themselves into the friend zone so they can be the "comfort dick" or play the cuddle buddy card while the boyfriend is acting up/out of town. Mine just pop up like any of my male friends; shared interests, close proximity. I do tend to be friends with pretty girls tho…I'm just a tad superficial lol

  121. @Fly Guy-I have a "comfort dick", but I've never actually used it for its real purpose. Have we shared a bed? Definitely. Is he dick amazing? Absolutely. How do I know? A good friend of mine slept with him. And the boy can wind his ass off and he cooks and man, he'll be in town this weekend too…and what are we doing? Drinks. Sometimes you gotta have the guy friend who just stands in as your man opinion. Every chick's chick needs one (shout out to Mama Comeback.)

  122. @Fly-You ain't even gotta tell me I already know. I have numerous male friends which I don't doubt would smash for as long and as hard as possible. Am I cool with it? Sure, why not. I ain't never gonna have sex with none of them. Now I have an ex whose like my best friend. Is it there? HELL yeah. I swear everytime we see each other we're one step away from hitting…but we can't cause well we're not together. Well we can and we will…in our own special;) way

  123. I hate to get all woo woo up n through (site comeback) But Its important that everyone and its a sure damn lot of you, email your leader in congress and advise them that they need not be signing off on this 700 billion dollar bail out. feel free to construct your own letters here is mine.

    I am urgently writing to you regarding the crisis with the stock market and housing.

    I would like you to know that I do not support another bailout of any private company. It is my understanding that our economy is resilient and must go through ups and downs. I believe that the president and his people are pushing this through at a time when our country is already so far in debt that it will take hundreds of years to pay it back. I do not want my children and grandchildren and great grandchildren to be paying for the greed on wall street.

    I am a registered voter who never votes a straight ticket and urge you to push for legislation to change the mark-to-market accounting law and to extend insurance, but extend no loans. If you push to extend loans – if you push to borrow the money on the national debt in order for us to all go into the mortgage business of a trillion dollars – I will be an advocate, and actively campaign against your re-election to another term.

    P.S YALL KNOW I HATE DISCUSSION ABOUT POLITICS BUT I ALSO HATE DEBT AND THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE!!
    http://www.visi.com/juan/congress/index.html (LINK TO FIND YOUR CONGRESSMEN)

    END PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

  124. WAY OFF SUBJECT….BUT, is anyone watching this assh*le president lie through his teeth on tv right now. EXCUSE ME, MR. PRESIDENT WE AS TAX PAYERS ARE NOT GOING TO CLEAN UP YOUR MESS!!

    Get his ass out of here!

  125. Hey peeps… I kno I'm super late but I am still in the celibate club and I'm a few weeks shy of a year…. And it's not hard for me at all…. It actually makes me feel super confident when I go out because I just feel like I'm on a whole nother level because I'm not giving it up!!!!!! But I am waiting until I am in a monogamous relationship because I've did the having sex but thinking it was more than it was thing and I'm not going back down that road again…..

  126. @Cuzzo: Sorry I'm must now responding, Chemistry class tonight sucks balls. Anywho, yeah dates were involved, but I let myself be led by "it won't change anything." Yeah, freakin right. I haven't had a situation yet where sex has not changed anything!

  127. Hey folks…I missed you guys all day. I was busy kicking a$$ at work on my last day as a 29 year old. Somehow I managed to get 6 new projects since Monday…ah well, bonus here I come!

    I didn't get to read the whole thing but…

    Yes, men and women can be platonic friends. Why is the criteria only that they've never been physically attracted or interested in smashing? Who says a guy can't meet me, decide he likes me and realize it's not going anywhere and a friendship grow from there? That has happened a few times in my lifetime and I have a few very good male friends because of it. I value them b/c they are honest with me without being scared I'll withhold the cooch b/c they aren't getting it anyway. My best guy friend is a sounding board, a sanity check, he plays my protective big brother. I do a very good job though of making sure my man is comfortable with my best friend b/c our friendship is very important to me and I'd hate to put my man in a position where he wants me to choose between him and my BGF (best guy friend)…cuz he'd find himself without me (my BGF is non-negotiable) To date, I've had absolutely no problems with our friendship from the men I've dated, but like I said, i do a really good job of making sure things are in the open and kept at an appropriate level. And for the record, if I performed the test, he wuld prob touch and/or kiss me, he might even pull me into the room…but in the end he wouldn't do it….(not that i've tried it already, lol)

    in regards to the women who can't have female friends…that ish is so bogus. I've never been able to wrap my mind around the concept of the inability to befriend a whole gender for which you belong. I actually lived with a chic that claimed the very same…and found out why. It seems that the women who say "i can't have women friends, they are shady, sneaky, and jealous" are usually the ones who are shady and such. Humble (or Hugh, don't remember who said it) you're smart to stay away from those types of women…they usually keep drama going and they'll be all up in your shyt all the time cuz they have no female friends to spend time with.

    Okay guys…off to say goodbye to my 20s.

  128. As much as I hate to admit it, this is so true. I've gotten in many a fight w/ whoever I was dating at the time about this (you should know lol).

    I've come to terms with it and act accordingly, but it gets annoying when the guy doesn't understand that I can be trusted to keep things platonic. It's not like I run with rapists!

  129. Bree happy early birthday–I went through saying good bye to a decade last week–it won't hit you until someone asks you how old you are. But look at it like this…another year…is another blessing.

  130. Mik did Dave write this??? Your @zz sounds like a republican. So i guess you're voting for McCain too?

    im all for the invisible hand and what not. But the economy needs some type of imaginary thumb, ring finger or something.

  131. Breelicious: "My best guy friend is a sounding board, a sanity check, he plays my protective big brother."

    And big brother would smash if you showed up at his door in the trench coat.

    I guess everyone has a little bit Republican in them. You can make yourself believe what is obviously not true.

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