Home Guest Post Thursday Feature:

Thursday Feature:


This one came in recently by someone who wants to be known simply as … Kwame.  His real name has been witheld at his request because he knows (as well as I) that he is going to catch hell for his words.

I want to thank Kwame for his original piece that can only be found here … and SingleBlackMale.net!

PS. I do not condone or agree with him … but damn if it don’t make you think … hhhmmmmmm.


Why I Cheat

I’m too cheap to valet, so I park in the lot next to the lot where I’m meeting friends at a nightclub. As soon as I get out of my car (foreign luxury car for those keeping score), a hot chick of about 22 years wearing a very skimpy dress walks up to me and grabs my arm. “You’re coming with me” she says. Yes I am. She couldn’t get into the bar because she was too drunk and had been thrown out an hour earlier. I get her number and go in to meet my friends. I don’t feel the need to stay with her because the truth is, I’m a one-night-stand Hall of Famer and I know that I’m going to score. And I do. I meet a girl, we have oral in the car, we go back to her place and do a lot of nasty things until 7AM. We would’ve probably gone on for a couple more hours but I had to meet my girlfriend for breakfast.

See Also:  Around the Web: Bored Moms Turn to Drugs & Affairs

Me banging random hot chicks I meet at nightclubs is such a regular occurrence and since going home and showering and changing isn’t always an option I keep a travel pack of toiletries and a gym back of clothes in my trunk to conceal all shennanigans of the previous night.

Since the beginning of time men have cheated and women have tried to figure out why and how to stop them. The truth is, there is no stopping it. You can be Beyonce, Megan Good, Rhianna and Megan Fox all rolled into one, and if your man is half way attractive and has any appeal at all he will cheat. I love my girlfriend. In fact, I love both of them as I have two full-time girlfriends who I both love dearly. But this isn’t about love. It’s about banging hot chicks until I can’t do it anymore. My girlfriends are hot, they love having sex with me, and are extremely supportive and sweet. There is nothing wrong with them at all. I just like conquering new territory. I like the exhilarating feeling I get when a hot chick gushes over me and lusts after me. Call me an egomaniac…whatever. I am what I am and it is what it is. I’m tall, very good looking, masculine, educated, successful, have a big dick and am great in the sack. The same instincts that make me successful and ambitious also drive my desire to bang new chicks: ego/vanity and power. Calling me a dog isn’t going to change anything…it’s just going to make you look like a bitter loser. I have no shame, I feel no guilt, and I get a high from giving hot chicks orgasms. Are all guys like me? Only the winners.

See Also:  The Sex Cloud

– Kwame


  1. All I can say is wow and you are not the first guy that I know of to do this. Well, not exactly what you do but close. I just want to know how do you keep your stories straight? How can you juggle two women, isn't one hard enough?

  2. can i be honest….

    This letter is retarded. First of all how old is this dude. And why does he feel the need to disclose what he drives in the context of this letter…. AND THEN NOT VALET. (parking in the lot next to the lot…and you know your @zz is walking far too)

    im digressing today…

    secondly and as i wrote yesterday. Its no news to me that men fyck around and bang their metro area. But i got several issues here (a) doing it unprotected (if thats the case) (b) at least not being upfront to these two ladies.

    aside: the ladies are NOT looking at this with their third eye. How the hell do you not know your man is NOT a hoe. Obviously when he's whor%in you don't have easy access. Not only does he have a second chick he's also got random others. To me these women have either cosigned to Kwame "Kilpatrick's" behavior or they're playing stupid just to have a man.

    lastly there are men who don't cheat. I have been romantically involved with men who NEVER stepped out, word to my third eye.

  3. @ kwame..maybe ur addicted. there's a 12 step program for that. Plus there's a lot of nasty diseases out here that u can get with a condom on…(herpes anyone..lol) to be randomly banging hot chicks. (who still says hot chicks?) bottom line…u don't have enough respect 4 urself let alone ur fulltime women 2 digress from ur weekend rendevous. such as life…

    @ comeback: his girls know I'm so sure 3rd eyes and all they have 2. they be in denial or just don't care…

    have a good day people

    how can mind that will change the world be sparked if the match is not lit?- tupac shakur

  4. Mornin' all! I'M THIRTY NAGGAS!!

    @sheila, thanks for the happy bday suga…don't worry, I ain't scerred of 30 at all, I fully embrace my journey through life and LOVE ushering in new eras. I've been looking forward to today since last year.

    question about the post…he's not worried about what he'd say if they asked why he has a bag of clothes an toiletries in his car? and don't give me the "just in case I need t stay over with you baby" line…he could just leave clothes at his gf's for that. I mean, it really just seems like it would get too exhausting after a while dealing with multiple women like that.

    I gotta say, this kind of stuff is a sign of immaturity. Cheating is the easy way out…it's easy to give into urges, it takes a person of real character to voluntarily submit to monogamy. I wouldn't go around bragging about the fact that your brain is on autopilot and your d*ck is the major decision maker in your life…just doesn't sound to bright.

  5. @bree: First of all I would like to give a big shout to BREE! Happy BIRTHDAY BREE! Enjoy the Dirty Thirty Chica!

    @the post: this man is a retard. I hope his dyck grows a fungus.. that is all

  6. Happy Birthday Bree!

    I agree with EVERYTHING Comeback said!

    @Akua: Right. I'm wondering if he is addicted.

    Who say's "banging hot chicks"???? LOL I see Bree was thinkin the same thing.

    Have a fab day everybody!

  7. Well, as the saying goes…. only thing better than p*ssy is new p*ssy…. *shrug*

    Glad I'm not one of those stupid "hot chicks" who jumps on a guy just because of the car he drives. *sidesteps suspect penis*

    @Comeback: I agree re: 3rd eye. SO many women CHOOSE to be oblivious to the fact that their man is cheating on them because the signs are ALWAYS there, some just more subtle than others. Sadly many women will put up with whatever just to have their "good" man.

  8. First off, DAMN!! Ok this was funny and sad all at the same time. Sounds a bit like Sani baby if you ask me, but we all know what he drives. I ain't mad at you "Kwame" and I'm sure your girlfriends know, don't be surprised if one day you get your feelings hurt.


    Lastly, really SBM you could have told your boy how stupid his shit sounded before posting it on the world wide web, lol.

  9. …his d*ck just might fall off in the toilet while he's taking a piss…i mean serioulsy, y r these people f*cking someone they met in the parking lot…regularly. say you wear condoms all you want, but those things break and/or come off (or i wouldn't be someone's momma! LOL)..that's QUITE risky

    um, it's also T.I. and Will Smith's bday. I need to get up wid dem fools tonight so we can TURN THIS MUTHA OUT!!!

  10. This dude sounds like a walking case of HIV waiting to happen. Who does that!?!?!?
    My only assumption would be that he was raised around someone who made it seem OKAY for his behavior. He's playing russian roulette (sp?) with his life and his penis. Just plain disgusting and nasty. I only hope that both chicks/girlfriends find out before any deadly consequences arise. FYI — condoms don't protect you from everything.


  11. Also…

    I concur with the other ladies here. His girlfriends (if that part is even true) probably are very aware and simply don't care. He may be supplying a need to them just as they are to him. Heck, their probably waiting for him to leave so they can invite their other boo's over! lol.

    In 2008 you would think people would use better judgement in their sexual endeavors, but I guess not. I digress.

  12. @Bree: In honor of your birthday I am taking the day OFF!!

    I feel that it would inappropriate to go to work on the day that the lord chose to bless this world with your presence. And not only that but it would be selfish of me to not stop and observe just how blessed this day is.

    ….aaaand, I kind of want to go to the mall. I think I owe myself a Cole Haan and a Fossil watch.

    Happy Birthday again hun!

  13. @Teacia…you are crazy! How about everyone take the day off, tell your boss its my birthday, he or she will understand! The ONLY reason I'm going to the office today is b/c I have a feeling a couple people are sending me flowers…i'm leaving at 12:30 though.

    sidenote: why is my lil girl trying to f*ck up my day already…LAWD!

  14. Good Morning Everyone,

    @Breelicious – Happy Birthday!!

    What can I say about this dude. Why did he have to use the name Kwame? lol. That hits close to home. The funny thing about these type of dudes is that women flock to them. I mean these are the type of dudes that get away with everything. I think that even if his girlfriend knew he was cheating she wouldn't leave. I got to give it to him he works hard for the p**sy. Keeping up with lies and switching clothes and etc. is too much work for me. How old is this dude? I didn't get a girlfriend or serious relationship until I was 25. I did that because I wanted to do what he is doing.

  15. Happy BDAY Bree…welcome to the thirty club, where we still give the 20 yr old youngins a good run for their money and we say whatever the hel!l we want…I cant wait until like 50…imma be on FIRE..and really saying what I really want to say.

    @ all the ladies totally agree with all yall

    @ SBM…i remember there was a time when you used to respond to these letters. When "PS. I do not condone or agree with him " was just the tip of the iceberg..what is goin on witcha???

    My third eye already told me who wrote this letter so why they changed their blog cb handle…i really don't know. I mean if you really pimpin like that and you don't care, why be anon. If you actually BELIEVE there is NOTHING wrong with ANY of this behavior…come out with your ACTUAL handle..all guns blazin..my third eye also told me that there is some STRAIGHT embellishment going on, that you have had some trouble with at least one of these "girlfriends" in the past, but your're looking for some co-signage so you can sleep at night.

  16. @Comeback
    "i really don’t know. I mean if you really pimpin like that and you don’t care, why be anon"

    This cat is not pimping. He is lying, fronting, and shaming. If he was a real pimp he could do all of this in the open.

  17. "This cat is not pimping. He is lying, fronting, and shaming. If he was a real pimp he could do all of this in the open."

    @ Kwame….you see you just got BUSTED by another man whose third eye is slicker, better, and badder than mine.

    hopefully you'll face this jury here, before I go to starbucks and get down and dirty with my work. You got 45 mins, son…and we got questions.

  18. "Me banging random hot chicks I meet at nightclubs is such a regular occurrence and since going home and showering and changing isn’t always an option I keep a travel pack of toiletries and a gym back of clothes in my trunk to conceal all shennanigans of the previous night."

    Disgusting. Showering and changing isn't always an option?? Why not?What the eff are you talking about? Please note that baby wipes,lotion, and some cologne CANNOT conceal the smell of the club or a sweaty, funky body. Yuck.

  19. I just can't understand men and women like this. The degree of selfishness of some people is damn near pathological. If this is wha you want to do why bein a relationship. I told my ex if I wanted to step outside the relationship I would break up with her and I told her to do the same for me. She didnt do it. Sometimes I think that selfishness is so deep rooted that it can never be cured. I'm not saying i'm Mother Teresa but damn you have to take other people's feeling in consideration.

  20. @ Better…i was gonna let that go. becuause I was really tryna give him the benefit of the doubt that Kwame actually was washing his @zz but at one of his jump off's house.

    @ Anesidora…can you find the Alexys K Tylor video on the importance of a man washin his @zz good!!! icant find it.

  21. happy born day Bree!!!

    @ Teacia…im loving Cole for the fall…i saw these via spiga's that I need yesterday..shoes and bags are a major issue for me..lol.

    random thought: is dude really this funky nasty trifling? or did he make this all up to get a rise out of us this morning. He must have lots of free time to hold down 2 girlfriends and his bevy of clubbers…lol

  22. @Akua: If Comeback's third eye is right (and I think I know who the suspect may be), then he's just doing it to get a rise out of us. It's common practice. LOL

  23. @Bree happy birthday! I am taking the day off today too! I am going to tell myself all day i took the day for your birthday to not have to think about the fact that i really took the day to get epidural steroid injections in my back which the thought of makes me shiver.

    @Comeback I am so on the same page with you. I know a girl who just found out her man has been cheating on her… i have known both her and her man for about a year and let me tell you – if she couldnt tell by now that he was cheating SHE DIDNT WANT TO KNOW. same goes for one of my best friends. he cheats on EVERY girl he dates, his current girlfriend "doesnt know" he cheats… b*tch please your man has time for you 1 day a week and doesnt hug you, talk to you, show you any affection or act like he knows you when you come into the bar he works at…

    @Teacia… i agree completely you deserve a new fossil. enjoy your day shopping.

    @Kwame if your girls dont know you cheating they dont want to know (read above) and seriously man make sure you are protecting yourself…dang i know it's nice to have a big ego an all about how many chicks you can bang in a week but when you get that call from one of them saying "i was just at the doctor and well…" yeah be careful. it ain't pretty when it comes down to that.

  24. @Akua: yeah I never do anything nice for myself, I'm always spending my money on others and their needs and WANTS(especially my daughter) and I need to take a few hundred and do myself some good for a change.

    @Bree: I'm so not kidding, I took the day off. Let the lazy bummish activitaaays begin. Well after my morning workout of course. 😉

  25. sad thing about all of this, change girlfriend to wife and this sounds like my little brother.

    that negro got home from Iraq in April and by May he had slept with like 13 chics. he's REAL flashy and the girls are just blinded by the bling and their dumb asses fall in line. granted his talk game is on par with his big sis' but damn if he has no remorse for his actions.

    even one of my 30 something fly ass friends fell for his game and was like damn is that truck a 2008, are those 26 inch rims…the whole while i'm thinking ARE U F*CKING SERIOUS?!?!? she thought she could get a little paper from him and she did get a little(very little) but he got what he wanted and was out, so sad.

    he's constantly cheating on his wife and her azz knows, but she just lets him do as he pleases. we keep telling her to leave his azz, but she won't go. she's military also, i just hope she's getting hers on the side.

  26. P.S. Kwame hunny i would never call you a dog for behaving like this. Dog's are loyal creatures and you are being far from it.

    ladies we should always remember that… dogs are loyal dont call your cheating man a dog…

  27. As pitiful as his email was…it still disgusts me.

    Why be in a relationship then? Go out and sow your oats until your penis falls off, but why even have a 'girlfriend'?? What's the point?

    I hope your ass isn't in the DC Metro area, the STD is high enough as it is! You're a walking virus waiting to explode! And I'm not just talking about HIV/AIDS. Let some chick with HSV1/2(herpes) slob your knob…or you perform oral on some chick with genital herpes…it's all over buddy! Then lets see how you'll explain the breakouts on your dick to someone?? Herpes, the gift that keeps on giving!

  28. Chronic cheaters have underlying issues that have nothing to do with the women in their lives. Why does he feel the need to cheat? Just because you can isn't a good enough reason. There are other things that the man might not want to face that makes him feel that he has to feed his ego by sleeping with almost anything that'll open their legs.

    As Comeback Girl stated there are men who don't cheat. They make a conscious decision for whatever reason to be faithful.

    As Bree said, this does show lack of maturity. There's something missing from a man who feels he has to cheat. (IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY—HAVE FUN BREE)

    lol Teacia – co-signing…just because the women he's with hasn't said anything–doesn't mean they don't know. Women know when something ain't right–whether they want to ignore it, face it or just deal with it. Who is to say why he's cheating on them, they don't have the sideline ho on the side too. Men don't ever think of that when they're doing their dirt.

  29. @Humble One – "If he was a real pimp he could do all of this in the open." True. The excitement for a real player is the fact that the women or men know they aren't the only ones. Cheating is selfish when the person can just as easily remain single or get out of the relationship they are in and spare the other person's feelings. As much as a cheater claims to maybe care about the other person, they don't care about them as much as they say they do when they deliberately set out to hurt the person by cheating on them.

  30. Oh I don't think it's Sani baby, I know it is. He's the only one who says hot chic, he's been a major wh*re since the start of the summer and he has 2 regualar chics, Miss ER and Miss Alaska.

    The luxury car is where he loses me, but then again this is the world wide web, it could all be made up…lol. Besides the hostility in the email also points to him, but I could be wrong…it happens on occasion.

  31. Greetings!

    Why is everyone so serious?!

    This post reminds me of several other posts that have entertained the SBM fam:

    Obviously dude have financial and self esteem issues: He parks in the lot next to the lot and targets drunken "hot chicks." Can he buy her a drink? Probably not! What's so hot and sexy about a drunk female spitting in your ear and giving a sloppy blow job in your used luxury foreign? If he was really up for a challenge or a rise, why wouldn't he aim for the callabor of women that frequent this blog – edgy and sophisticated?

    "Why you coming home, 5 in the morn, somethings going wrong…can I smell yo…"

    Yes, girlfriend #1 and #2 are either oblivious or hip to his game. Perhaps they keep him around because he have good d. Maybe he give good oral. Maybe he is the "token" bf and right before he stopped by to take a sip of the juice box, he hood figure just finished wearing her backside out.

    To help Kwame out, perhaps I should invite my dad as a special guest. He has a part time wife, a full time girlfriend, and ex girlfriend who has been in the picture for almost 20 years…

  32. Damn Neonnea, can my dad come…pappa's been rolling like a stone err since I turned 10 and the women have stayed in the picture. Now he's a real pimp, everyone knows and they keep it coming. My brother who claims to NOT have a father is just like him, every spit of the way!!

    I think my mom may actually be filing for a divorce after 30 years of being a part-time wife(she claims she stayed for the veteran benefits)…FINALLY!

  33. @QB "P.S. Kwame hunny i would never call you a dog for behaving like this. Dog’s are loyal creatures and you are being far from it." HAHAHAHA!!! Girl, I like you!

    @Humble…could you come to the A and teach classes to the men out here so I can stop waisting my time…or better yet, just come to the A…so I can stop waisting my time, LMAO.

    I know plenty of men like this…sadly.

  34. Teacia – LOL, the more the merrier! IDK, Although my dad has loyalty issues, he is the most entertaining and free spirited guy I know. We would bar hop and it's like a trail of people would follow.

  35. I agree again with all the fine ladies on this blog and Humble (who for now is the lone guy) and even SBM can't really break down the wrongs of this letter.

    but let me introduce the woo woo element. Im very careful about who i sleep with since i really started to attune and shyt. And i know this is true what im bout to tell yall with all my heart.

    when you have sex with people SPIRITUALLY you are also sleepin and inviting in OTHER PEOPLE's ENERGETIC thangs. Things all their partners could never atone for, reconcile with PARTICULARLY when people are double dippin. And particularly when doors have not been shut and people have not been purged. You know how some men like to keep the door cracked. Your sleepin with that.

    not just phsyically. But ENERGETICALLY. and too me thats equally as important.

  36. @Anesidora: when that CD came out my (ex)best friend was like that's so me…and I was like that's not a compliment. But she was a drunk and hot girl, all the guys wanted to lay her but no one too her azz seriously.

  37. Well…as the resident freak of every week I'ma say I'm disgusted this is terrible. I like sex alot, but if it seems like you're playing everybody I'm sorry, but no. Obviously if these scenes are playing out the way he says they are then the women in the immediate vicinity plus others must know about his behavior.

    I got a dr. appointment…so I gotta roll, but more later.

  38. You know what?..to each his own. I have no problem with a man doing his thing, and I can respect any man who can admit that he cannot be faithful. It becomes a conflict of interest when you are in a relationship though. If you can't be monogamous you should not put yourself in the position to be expected to. Be real! I have had guys tell me they have no interest in dating one girl…and that is fine, who am I to expect anything more of you? But in letting me know, it gives me the option of whether or not to date him. And THAT is where this brotha is wrong. Well, that and his cockiness.

  39. @ DD – I don't have any issue with a man being straight up either. But is the poser really being straight up? He alias is "Kwame" which is very suiting. However, if he doesn't want to be real with us, he can be real to his two "full time" girlfriends. If he has been, great! Women have a tendancy for settling for less at times for whatever reason…

  40. Good Morning Folks!


    @Comeback: "I cant wait until like 50…imma be on FIRE..and really saying what I really want to say"

    I'm so in tune with that feeling. Can't wait until I'm old like that and so I can tell ppl off.

    Now, about the post. How the hell does someone so successful have time for all of this? It really is about esteem – the need to be validated. If he went out one night and didn't get any "hot chick", he'd probably do something drastic.

    "BLAAAAH DAAA DAAAA DAAAAA DAAAA. that's how the eff you sound"

  41. Of course I understand the preference to play around but in this case I would also tell the women I am dealing with that I am playing around, so that no one is mislead.

  42. @Dorchester's Daughter: I have no problem with a man being up front to, but I think we can all agree that this guy is being sneaky…. He's has two uninformed girlfriends.

  43. this was written by a woman.
    a man with this much going on for him and that is that much of a winner dosent see this as "cheating" so I am calling this email a farce.

  44. First, Happy Birthday Bree

    This reads more like a suicide letter, this is some dangerous stuff to be saying for the world. He speaks as if he's trying to prove something to himself, like being cocky because of a concern. Swag is Swag, but it doesn't always need to be spoken of in that way. As a man I understand why he gets so much out of his pseudo life of f*ckery but true Swag is seen in holding down your queen, letting her know she is a queen so she can let the world know. Grow up, Kick Rocks, then go kill yourself. This is why black men have it so hard as it is.


  45. Straight up is really about having integrity …and is ideal in this case…but what about the women who are "unsuspecting" at what point do they become just as much of the problem. You give people permission to treat you however they want-just by playing dumb, not listening to your inner guide etc.

    there is this medical doctor, who i can't think of right this second, an obgyn and she talks about women who don't listen to their bodies, they come in with unexplainable vaginal infections (that aren't clinically STDs at all-and can't even be pinpointed back to a husband/boyfriend steppin out.) But phsyically her body has manifested the "knowing" that she wont even listen to.

    i think sometimes we are to blame as well.

  46. Hmmmmm, written by a woman…although I know this was thrown in there to refocus our energy, it is still an interesting notion.

    *sidenote* Does anyone watch Dr. 90210…this may be my new favorite reality tv show. It is a bit depressing knowing that I'm doing my Fine at 29 campaign the hard way, but I just can't turn the channel.

  47. im starting my way at the top and working down… but so far. I agree and disagree with comeback. (damn thats usual)

    I dont believe this email either is where we agree. but is a 30something black woman seriously saying that men sleep around? I mean…. seriously. Do I have to remind you of how many sistas are out there sleepin with anyone when they feel like it?
    the middle class sista is the biggest perp of the "sex in the city" mentality… because they never have a permanent man and feel no man is an equal.
    do we have to go back in the post history and see me complaining about how women on date after date got me naked spent the night and then never called me again????? when men in their 20's do it… they are called dogs and "typical" but when sistas in their 30's do it… somehow its liberation and being a "free spirit".. oh whut da fuk evah.

    but the reason you can tell this wasnt written by a man, a dude dosent care about his car. women care about the cars and the men care about the women. the language is also off, we would describe the model and make… because we would want to validate the horsepower and performance (if we were to brag) but a woman would talk about the "class" of the car (foreign luxury car) because they care more about the look and symbol it makes.

    to me this is just a woman makin a story of how she sees all black men in the movies, and needs to get out here and see how us "fine black men" actually roll. Its prolly some fat chick whose mad at men and needs a date.

  48. @HNIC…I actually agree with some of the stuff you're saying. However, I don't think anyone said women don't sleep around, we all know they do…further, the guy in this post is a "dog" not b/c he sleeps around but b/c he has not one, but two girlfriends AND sleeps around. I don't care who you are man or woman…if you're supposed to be in a relationship…BE IN A RELATIONSHIP…if you want to be a multiple orgasm donor than own up to it and don't pretend to be someone's man/woman…and for sure don't throw around the word "love", cuz that just makes it worse.

    It's neither here nor there for me on the question of whether this was a woman…he may have mentioned luxury car to appeal the female readers so we'd understand why some women throw themselves @ him…mentioning horsepower doesn't really wet panties, ya know.

    and "Its prolly some fat chick whose mad at men and needs a date." that shyt is funny!

  49. I dont really think there's anything wrong with sleepin aroudn, male, female..its a personal choice. I just like the disclosures. To me at this point in my YOUNG 30s. Its too much at stake. I can't get down like that at this point in my life and feel good about it.

    my bottom line is to be up front but chicks also need to start to get a clue. If you can't find his @zz on a saturday night at 11:45 pm. Do you think he's having bible study?

    my beef with women are that we just got to start being more in tune. And being truthful to ourselves even when our men WON'T.

  50. @HNIC: Its prolly some fat chick whose mad at men and needs a date."

    It'll probably be hard getting that date if shes fat and angry.

  51. I refuse to believe that letter is valid or was written in anything but jest. Damn, that letter is douching more than Summer's Eve.

    I mean, "Are all guys like me? Only the winners?". GTFOH with that garbage.

  52. I think Mos Def sums it up for me right here:

    …lawd the dangerous neccessities that ppl seek without regard for who we are the human heart is curious…

  53. NMH:are you kidding me? you know how many young brothas are brainwashed into actually thinkin fat chicks are cool these days?
    combine that with young brothas lust for pussy and yeah…

    see prolly havin a hard time findin one and just scared away the last man she had because of her being angry, bitter, and disrespectful.

    a hot chick can get away with that…. but your fat… you cant do that baby.

  54. you guys gotta really pick which side of the fence you wanna sit on.

    alot of you flip flop on sides of the same issue so much i feel like I am watching tennis. Some people may hate my overly preachy mentality… im like the uncle you hate because he is always judging you… but damnit you have to admit I am always sayin the same shit over and over and always on the same side of a situation. to me it dosent change with the person or gender. the flip floping is makign me dizzy.

    this letter written by me?

    like you guys dont know enough about me from my oh so limited amount of posting to know that its NOT? how am I a fat simp that is weak and will never get a real black woman one day…. then the next I am a 6'5 abusive thug who beats sistas like Ike the next day… then I am a snob who only cares about money and his two corporate jobs to treat a woman right the next day… then I put these white women I am dating on pedestals and they will never respect me or accept me… but then when we find out the women arent white …, oops we change the story and they ar estrong supportive sistas and I am a decent brotha?

    and now Im a rich playboy?

    I wonder if certain people being wrong about who they "KNOW" wrote this will get me a ban for them being wrong….. for the third time.

    Ill expect the whine to come into SBM's phone within 30 minutes and him to text me after.

    must suck to be wrong and always think the worst of people eh sista?

  55. @hnic: Thats what im getting at. Fat chicks get dates. Angry chicks get dates if they are really cute. But fat AND angry? Unacceptable.

  56. @comeback…girl i'm so with you…the other thing is, the women who make it so easy…yes, dem chics in the parking lot f*cking some dude cuz he has a nice car…c'mon suga, seriously?

  57. akua: you cant miss me… you have my phone number…….
    my email, text, phone and fax are available. My door is always open to anyone who needs me for help or wants to talk to me.

    and SHHHHH yall stop usin my government name! its like me shouting out where yall live, your kids names your job .. ect ect. I like to blog and all but I wouldnt want my role in my community service be smeared because of my personal views and my year of dating freedom on the internet!

  58. That's ok if you live like that. I don't judge anyone. Just be honest with all of the player's in the game. So much energy into lying, and cheating.

  59. LOL…Sani you really haven't been keeping up with the site have you.

    If I am wrong my bad Sani baby, you know it's all in love. 🙂

  60. "@comeback…girl i’m so with you…the other thing is, the women who make it so easy…yes, dem chics in the parking lot f*cking some dude cuz he has a nice car…c’mon suga, seriously?"

    yeah thats not the business. you could spend that time fykin to get your own.

  61. NMH: you would be totally suprised how many angry fat sistas I have gone out on dates with early this year. most of which felt entitled.

    My favorite date was Udina. 6ft 290lbs. Went on our first date and ordered 3-4 cosmos, a fried onion, a tripple cheeseburger, french fries and split a fried apples dessert with me. after she inhaled more food than a small amazon village eats in a year…. she told me how she was "fly" and men like me should appreciate a sista who had as much goin on as she did being a nurse and all.

    at the time I went on a first date with her I was dating miss may. So I was supposed to drop to my knees and worhip a 300lbs nurse when I was going out on dates with a swimsuit model who is finishing her double phd?????

    oh and then she had the nerve to say she wasnt fat she was big boneded


    ya man, angry at all men because they are too miserable to treat us or themselves the right way. its becoming more and more widespread.

  62. @Cuzzo

    "Now, about the post. How the hell does someone so successful have time for all of this?"

    I used to asked this question myself. One of the reasons I'm not doing anything with any woman is time. What I realized is that some dudes will prioritize sex with work and eating.


    "Straight up is really about having integrity …and is ideal in this case…but what about the women who are “unsuspecting” at what point do they become just as much of the problem. You give people permission to treat you however they want-just by playing dumb, not listening to your inner guide etc."

    I agree. But how many women choose their mate based off integrity? I have seen a lot of women choose their mate off of everything but integrity, responsibility, etc.

  63. I gotta agree with comeback. I cant knock a man OR a woman for dating multiple people… and where I live I cant knock corporate people who have someone "on call" for sex. but ya… being honest is paramount.

    in 49 dates this year I have only lied a handfull of times when asked if I was seeing or sleeping with someone else. and never in the past 6 months.
    and yes i practice what I preach, you look on my site and theres a picture with both models I was dating posing for a picture with me. usually when your overly honest you dont get chicks flipin out or dudes throwing tables.

  64. @Humble: "have seen a lot of women choose their mate off of everything but integrity, responsibility, etc."

    Those women are fools.

  65. Happy Bday Bree! I did take the day off!

    This post is nothing new and all I can say is who cares why men cheat. Its a personal choice. All these hoes(men) do what they want to do. If a man respects you and himself then he will govern himself accordingly. I am so damn sick of the 'why men cheat' convo, I could scream. All he basically said is I cheat because I'm selfish and think about what I want solely until I have the desire not to do it no more. Well life makes a full circle and you will reap what you sow.

    I am so angry today!!! Never let your guard down for these hoes.

  66. its not a man who wrote this email, its a woman telling a story.
    more hate on the black male image.. and its working since more people are talking about how this is "typical brotha" than saying "isolated incident"

    somehow we are all jobless and pathetic yet all of us also own 5 series imports and earn 150k a year.

    Ms.Dev. I love you, your my favorite poster and blog personality… but dont refer to black men ever again as hoes. its disrespectful and against the rules of SBM's blog.

  67. AWWWWWW….my mom sent me a gift at my office this morning…then an hour later i got a HUGE VASE OF YELLOW ROSES from her!!! My mom is the greatest woman on the planet!!

    @HNIC…um, can a sista get a happy birthday wish…DANG!

    …and yes, it seems we all agree that this young man can stick his d*ck in anything with a hole for all we care, just don't do so under the guise of "loving" your "girlfriends".

    …i wish all of you were here to party with me this weekend…it's cool though, i intend to pour out some liquor for each and every one of you (you too, HNIC)…wait..what am I saying? we're in a recession! no need to waste money…tell you what…i'm going to pour "out" some liquor into my glass for each and every one of you!


  68. @Hasani: I love black men and always show support. But I call them hoes from time to time because that is how I feel. I say how I feel. It is not disrespectful to anyone on this blog, because I am not referring to any of the men on this blog. Sometimes men are hoes and I call like I see it. Men do the same thing all the time. No double standards around here homeboy.

  69. @Breelicious

    "could you come to the A and teach classes to the men out here so I can stop waisting my time…or better yet, just come to the A…so I can stop waisting my time, LMAO."

    Is it that bad in the ATL? I was thinking about coming down there before the year ends.

  70. Ummmm who said that we said this was a black man. If I recall correctly the consensus was that this in fact sounds like a white man or a particular commentor who says "hot chic" alot.

    Again I stick with my original assumption…going with my gut on this one!

  71. @ Humble…integrity is hot as hel! …esp as Ms. Dev mentioned you reap what you sow…i would much rather reap a harvest than some type of other situation my grimmy manifested.

    karma is a biotch wit PMS.

  72. @Nicki Sunshine
    "Those women are fools"

    This may be true but I have seen it too many times. I can't count how many times I have seen women fall for a dude that keeps them on cloud nine. As long as he is being sweet and gassing her up on 94 Octane he is a real "man".

  73. Johnny:"true Swag is seen in holding down your queen, letting her know she is a queen so she can let the world know" Major props on this one.

    Humble: And these are the women are fools. When you choose a mate in this manner you will ultimately end up burned. I think it is unacceptable to choose a guy because he's dropping stacks and driving a Benz because then he treats you like sh!t.

    Ms. D:Sometimes black men are hoes and sometimes black women are hoes. Sorry Hasani, but sometimes rules are meant to be broken. I mean, come on…call it what it is…fcukery and whoredom.

  74. @humble…*shrugging shoulders* i hear it's that bad…honestly I don't take the guys in Atlanta seriously and I wasn't looking to be in a relationship when I moved here so I was completely oblivious…but when i think about it, a lot of guys here are just…"free spirited" as HNIC put it, lol..they're just enjoying the ratio…most of the ones i've met have at least been up front about that, and i can't be mad at that.

    you should def visit the A, we'd welcome you with wide open….arms 😉 Heh heh

  75. @Humble: That's true. A lot of women want to be taken care of… and because of that, and they whole fantasy of "being taken care of" they tend to overlook some things.

    But everything comes with a price.

  76. @HNIC: I have to agree with the "sex in the city" mentality thing and women in their 30's. Admittedly, my circle of friends somewhat have that mentality from time to time…. one friend actually drives me insane because every convo she has with me is about how she's "scoping out new prospects" and enjoying her "Dirty Thirties" (she's also fresh out of a 10 year relationship). Why aren't we called "dogs" for sleeping with you and never calling you again?? Same reason that men are considered players while women are considered hoes for the exact same behavior. Just the double standards of life that are never going ANYWHERE. It's not right, it just is.

  77. @Jac

    "And these are the women are fools. When you choose a mate in this manner you will ultimately end up burned. I think it is unacceptable to choose a guy because he’s dropping stacks and driving a Benz because then he treats you like sh!t."

    This is true. But these type of men don't always treat you like s**t. Its called the "overlay for the underplay". Women fall for this all the time.

  78. I agree with this dude man

    Men only stop cheating when their D**K gets tired

    point blank

    thats it


    No. I dont have low self esteem or nothing like that that makes me feel this way

    im just "smart", perceptive and a realist

    and no I dont think 100 percent of men are cheaters..but dont fool urself into thinking that he wont ever cheat…

  79. comeback

    "{lastly there are men who don’t cheat. I have been romantically involved with men who NEVER stepped out, word to my third eye."

    *laughs uncontrollablly*

    girl u will never have a way of knowing if a man has NEVER cheated

    how you know


  80. @ true…so do you pack your man's lunch when he goes to check on his jump off?

    "girl u will never have a way of knowing if a man has NEVER cheated"

    hey…i have been gamed once or twice. but i KNEW when my WAS ALL mine. trust.

  81. @Comeback: "@ true…so do you pack your man’s lunch when he goes to check on his jump off?"

    This is hilarious. LOL. But I agree, I'm simply not gonna subscribe to the negative way of thinking called all-men-cheat. I just can't do it. All men are ABLE to cheat, just like all women are ABLE to cheat. It's a case by case basis.

  82. @Breelicious
    "honestly I don’t take the guys in Atlanta seriously and I wasn’t looking to be in a relationship when I moved here so I was completely oblivious…but when i think about it, a lot of guys here are just…”free spirited” as HNIC put it, lol..they’re just enjoying the ratio…most of the ones i’ve met have at least been up front about that, and i can’t be mad at that."

    You are like the 3rd or 4th person I've heard say that. My boy stayed in Columbus and told me something similar. I guess it's not a myth.

  83. @Bree "they’re just enjoying the ratio"

    that's it! I'm gonna move to city where there are more men than women. now, where would that be? *ponders*

  84. Man, oh man.

    Humble:Overlay on the underplay. Wow.

    Comeback:Pack his lunch before he goes to see his jumpoff? Man…I bet someone is.

    Is there ever a case where it's acceptable to cheat? Say the wife has given her permission due to an illness?

  85. @true2me – I was with the same woman for 5yrs and never cheated. Did I want to at times? Yes. But when I looked at the bigger picture I couldn't justify doing it.

  86. @ Humble_One:was with the same woman for 5yrs and never cheated. Did I want to at times? Yes. But when I looked at the bigger picture I couldn’t justify doing it…that is all it is. A personal choice to look at the big picture which happens once you reach a maturity level.

  87. You people's posts today are so self righteous

    Believe it or not..you guys dont know EVERYTHING, and you aren't IMMUNE to certain things in life (ie getting cheated on )

    I see countless times the high and mighty getting shut down

    the high and mighty swearing "OMG..this could NEVER happen to me..Im too smart and I am not dumb and blah blah blah"


    If this was written by male or female…regardless ..this happens…maybe not to this extreme..but it does…

    He is a slut…his women probably have no clue…we have all fallen victim to a man's crap, bs or whatever before…and maybe they will never k now the full extent of what he is doing

    no one knows what anyone is doing 24/7

    not a soul…

    and just cause a person appears to "put up with" something doesnt make them dumb, stupid or anything like that

    they are human and its not inhuman to put some trust in someone you love

    Im glad the men on here are "good" men who would never be "male sluts" like this character (said with sarcasm of course. as if they would admit that about men …..)

    Seriously yall..your responses on this topic aren't very truthful, real, openminded or realistic and quite frankly, im disappointed in the responses today (not that you care)

    Im bowing out of this self righteous convo for now…

    *one of the things that ruins message board and blogs, trying to impress other posters by proving how much your "shit is together"*

  88. @Jac: Is there ever a case where it’s acceptable to cheat? Say the wife has given her permission due to an illness?"

    Heelll no. Everybody has their limits. And cheating is where I draw the line.

  89. Who cares if this guy is white, black, blue or what ever? We live in a day and time when it only takes one time with the wrong person who is not honest to get an STD. Or something called AIDS. You can't tell me this guy Kwame uses protection every time he get's with his girlfriends that he loves…..

  90. riiiight. kick rocks true. u're obviously not self-rightious enough to hang. *sticks nose in the air*

    where the H is why so serious? cuz that mess right there, was um yea so serious – y?

  91. @true..calm down sis…seriously. what exactly is self-rightous about saying "hey, if you wanna hoe yourself out, do it…do it big even…but don't go around lying to folks, calling them your girlfriend, and saying you love them"….and I don't care how human it is to let yourself be cheated on b/c you love someone, it's still stupid…and just so you know, stupidity is human as well…and we are all prone to it also. i'm sure we've all done things we aren't proud of and had things done to us that we'd like to forget, that doesn't remove our ability to point out when someone else behaves in an unsavory manner.

    but…i will say…i'm skeptical of ever saying that i "know" someone didn't cheat on me…i can say i honestly believe it never happened, but i would never propose i know what someone is or isn't doing when i'm not around. but faith constitutes a large percentage of trust…so that could be where the "knowing" comes into play.

  92. Another important part of today's discussion is the actual definition of cheating.

    It's obvious that this guy is cheating but there are certain other acts that are cheating to some but not to others.

    So now that we've established that this dude is nasty, and that there's no way to ever REALLY know if you've been cheated on or not. Let's go back to the begining and say what cheating is to us.

    I bet we'd get a variety of responses….

  93. True: I in no way, shape or form am endeavoring to prove that my shit is together. Honestly, I have cheated and I have been cheated on.

    I mean. I am not going to sit here and try to say that I've never. i have. Would I do it again, probably not? Why, because like Humble, I am looking at the bigger picture from here on out. I would rather have one man permanently giving it to me good than all this switching around.

  94. Wow true just kinda went off?

    LOL. Anywho, I will never say that I can never be cheated on… you never know. But I will not accept being cheated on. Simple as that.

    And this is my single self saying this…. I've heard marriage is a lot different. We will see… whenever that happens.

  95. @ true…let some sunshine in on that blog true, SERIOUSLY. If we're self righteous then what does that make you. I find the attack very ironic. Like yelling at somebody for being an angry [email protected] or better yet: "I hate muthfykers that cuss".

    do you see the irony here? You can't call somebody judgemental and self righteous without being the vary think you are accusing someone else.

    this is a classic case of projecting. There are times where many of us are sympathetic about things and you bring your wet blanket and spray us with "reality"..now we fall on the other side and you hit most of us with the righteous stuff.

    Like bree said, nobody's judgin the fyukin, just the lies and the deception. And yes if you really listen to your life you know when you're being gamed. Its called being an ADULT (like you said you were at 30) its called learning from mistakes like adults do.

    I fuyk up everyday. Like I said before sometimes people say things that really make me think, sometimes they wrong as [email protected], but life is supposed to be about chaning your mind, cememting truths etc.

  96. @Nicki: "Wow true just kinda went off?"

    It was directed at comeback but she just lumped everybody up in there. I think it was directed in part at humble also – since he's the resident "good guy".

  97. @comeback..she really was talking to mostly you for saying you "know" he wasn't cheating on you…and humble for claiming he does no wrong…but somehow it enraged her enough to pull an HNIC on us. HAHAH

    Okay ya'll…i'm off to the shop to get my little afro trimmed…it's started to look less like a little curly fro and more like a matted clown wig…ICK!! NOT THE HOTNESS. See you good black folks (and QB, lol) later!

  98. @Jac: "Is there ever a case where it’s acceptable to cheat? Say the wife has given her permission due to an illness?”

    I say where there is permission, that nullifies it as being considered "cheating" because cheating implies deceit. Cheating is bad because it hurts the other person. If there is permission, there is no hurt, thus no cheating. It's called an "open relationship".

    And I respect and appreciate your honesty ("True: I in no way, shape or form am endeavoring to prove that my shit is together. Honestly, I have cheated and I have been cheated on.") There does tend to be a whole lotta self righteousness going on with the comments on this blog. Never say never, folks… here's my testimony to that: http://adventuresindivorce.wordpress.com/2008/09/

    I'm not proud of what I did, but it's just life and it happens. In Jill Scott's recent tour she talked about how sometimes you find yourself in situations that you NEVER would have imagined (discussing getting involved with a married man in her song "My Love") and a lot of times don't know how the hell you got there. *le sigh*

    And I wanted to clarify that when I stated earlier that women know when their man is cheating, that's not 100% fool proof (the third-eye has blind spots). But when your man is a HABITUAL cheater, the signs pop up everywhere and THAT is what women tend to consciously ignore.

  99. @Comeback – nah, I don't know actually. But she did refer to people knowing someone did not cheat on them – and I thought you were the only person that made that statement.

  100. well i aint neva scared its not like true has never gone other places …spreadin her joy Comeback or not…i wonder if its ever crossed her mind that sometimes the people who fall the hardest on one side or the other…had the HARDEST lesson to learn.

    but i can play stupid too…to keep the peace and shyt.

    i got work to do anyway LOL..

  101. @true hun i speak from expierence when I say that if a woman doesnt know she is being cheated on she chooses not to know. i have been there. i have chosen not to admit what was going on or i have chosen to just deal with it becuase dude was what i wanted. I'm not like that anymore but i will be damned if i am going to be stupid enough to not know what is going on in my relationship.

    the girl i was talking about that just found out her man has been cheating on her… they live together, he works until 4 am but frequently doesnt get home from work (which is 10 minutes from home) until 8am or 9am – mind you bars close in here at 2:30 so it's not like he went out for a drink…. i'm sorry – you live with a man and he aint comin home in the morning after getting done serving food to a bunch of drunk hot college chicks… you are dumb if you dont know he is cheating on you.

    @comeback not that i dont like reading your comments but dont you got work to do girl? Hate to see you gettin in trouble at work for commenting with us… haha don't worry im just joking with you.

    @Bree i use to call guys dogs all the time and then someone brought that to my attention and i was like "damn thats a good point" haha. Enjoy gettin your hair done girl.

    and lastly i cant find the comment but didnt someone ask what constitutes cheating? I have been wondering that myself lately…

  102. First let me say: I've been cheated on years ago by one of my ex's. Let me also say, that I played the fool up until my intuition started kicking my ass and I found out he was in fact sleeping around.

    @Truth: You really should take a deep breathe and relax. Shyt happens… no one is saying that they don't ever get cheated on, but everyone is also not a hoe or dumb enough to not know something is going on. Everything done in the dark everntually comes to light.
    The week is almost at its end… lighten up!

  103. @Cuzzo

    " since he’s the resident “good guy”."

    WTF? Are you serious? As sarcastic as I am. I've been called an a**hole way too many times to be the resident good guy.

  104. @ qb..yeah i could fire myself. 🙂 but for now, im towing a real tight line wit my @zz. im watchin my @zz out the corner of my otha eye.

    @sbm why don't you do a post next week of all the fyck's we;ve all made or almost made. to make true feel better. I can start from like 10 mins ago and work my way to like 3 when i put my hand over that hot @zz stove that granny told me not to touch.

  105. DAMN! Every body plays a fool sometime. In the words of Chris Rock – Men are only as faithful as their options.
    Having a girlfriend isn't always the same as her being your wifey.

    For my personal take…. If I feel there's a need to cheat..There's no need for me to be a in committed relationship with that woman. I have no desire being confined unless I want to. I will have all the fun I want until I decided to settle down with one woman who can take care of EVERY desire I have.

    But if that floats ya boat..and makes ya feel like a man or it makes ya feel good. Go for it. And invest in Magnums… lol

  106. @Comeback – You are funny.

    "For my personal take…. If I feel there’s a need to cheat..There’s no need for me to be a in committed relationship with that woman. I have no desire being confined unless I want to. I will have all the fun I want until I decided to settle down with one woman who can take care of EVERY desire I have."

    Why does this seem to come across as a "holier than thou" attitude? This is how I feel. If I want to f**k around I won't be in a relationship.

  107. @humble as others have said and i am sure others feel but may not have vocalized… when you decide to settle down you can feel free to give me a call. ;o)

  108. Yaaaay, once again my blog family is doing the absolute most and I am not the target for a change!!!

    Ok, so let me interject myself into this "girl fight"…ummm yeah, I'm with Comeback on this one(damn, i know i'm going to regret that one day).

    I've been cheated on many times(eh, it happens) but each and EVERY time I knew what those negroes were up to. I swear before sweet baby jesus if I didn't wake up out of my sleep one night as he was coming 165 miles away(i was in Tally at the time)….but I just knew. I didn't let it go though and casually asked him about it like someone had already told me and he confessed…that was Fiance #5 *sigh*

    Point being, we all have the ability to know if we CHOOSE to listen to what the universe(read:God) is sharing with us. And I do have a couple of exes who I KNOW weren't the cheating type and didn't cheat and don't think they ever would. Then again I've been that chic to make those type of men cheat(ie the forbidden fruit)…so what's my point again. Oh yeah, you always know. His girl had to know that he was not leaving to go to the gym at 5:30am or staying late for work all of a sudden, lawyer or not, it was out of the ordinary. Hell he was even using his credit card to pay for stuff. Just like I knew that he wasn't being totally honest with me when he said he was single (disclaimer: i did end it once i found out he was married with a 8 month old at home).

    But we always know…do we always accept the truth, now that's a different story.

  109. @QB: dogs are loyal to their masters, not to the their mates. they screw whatever walks by with no qualms. that's why men who stray are called dogs. just wanted to clarify.

    @Bree: get that hurr done chic.

    @Jac: i swear before God that if you don't calm your little hot p*ssy azz down i'm going to be making a trip west real soon.

    @Cuzzo: you're a mess

    @Humble: yeah you're the nice guy…sorry buddy but it's who you've painted yourself to be. just bring out that alter ego of yours, we kinda miss him

    @Why so: where you at homie?!?!?!…lol.

    @Comeback: there's some things we need to talk about behind the scenes when you get a chance.

    Well I'm going to get my ass out of bed and get ready for my lunch date…and then off to shopping I go.

  110. @Humble: "WTF? Are you serious? As sarcastic as I am. I’ve been called an a**hole way too many times to be the resident good guy."

    Don't play coy with me mister. Did you read the other ladies responses? They want you off the celibacy train bruh.

  111. lol I was talkin to everyone not just comeback or just hnic or humble or whoever is the guy ion know

    now everyone changing their tune

    before it was "ugh I wouldn't do that.." implying its beneath you

    now its "oh yeah..well i have done that..but not anymore"

    lol..thats all I wanted to hear

    Sometimes yall come off as perfect individuals

    that can be annoying

    and so what i came back on here..i got bored

  112. there cant be 2 sets of rules.
    if we cant call actual hoes…. whores because the term is somehow degrading to ALL black women… and thus outlaw the term.
    women cant call us men hoes and we just skip over the "outlawed" word.

    this goes hand and hand with…
    HI im a mans equal… IM a strong black woman!! so HNIC is getting a bit uppity today so let me come at him…. ok that didnt phase him let me come at him again two more times. HA! I told him off pretty good… he said WHAT about me!? WTF he cant crack back on me… Im just a "girl" in the world!!

    this 2 sets or rules is so shallow and degrading to real women its appalling.

  113. whoever suggested we have a come clean blog post is on point (to make true feel better)

    that would be more entertaining then hearing a bunch of "im so smart now…Im so glad that im learned from my mistake, im the optimal human being now, the king/queen of self actualization"


    just jokin just jokin

  114. Just to add onto my comment above. When someone first sees me they may think I'm a stuck up b**tch, just because my face I don't walk around with a cheshire smile and I always look like I'm pouting, and I'm introverted initially

    but fact is, I'm just shy and friendly, waiting for someone else to make the first move…

    It's all about perception.

  115. In Kentucky, this man sues doctors because he goes in for a circumcision and woke up and they'd cut off his penis. I'm sorry, I found that a little funny…. although it probably isn't.

  116. I'm fycking up right now. I got on some ugg boots circa 3 years ago. But nobody can see me. but im fykin up in the name of fashion.

    one of my other fish died last night…im a fyked up fyking fish owner.

    My car needs to be serviced and im over on the oil change by 400 miles but im waiting for monday so i can drop it off b4 the airport. Thats a fyked up car owner.

    i got a presentation to make and I aint even started on the shyt. because im putting out a fire. Im a fyked up signaling engineer fyuk up.

    does that make you feel better true?

  117. @ComebacK: Sweetie, I'm further over needing an oil change than you are… and haven't taken it bc I'm lazy as hell. I mean… really far over… hopefully my dad will do it this weekend.

    Find me a man this weekend somebody. LOL. I need him to do "manly stuff" like take my car to get services.

  118. Can I just say I think Humble's one of the most focused men I've ever known?

    It's amazing…

    singing….I will never have you do..nothing you don't want to…

    I'm Strung out on you….

    Sorry I love that song.

    Off to class.

  119. @Comeback
    "My car needs to be serviced and im over on the oil change by 400 miles but im waiting for monday so i can drop it off b4 the airport. Thats a fyked up car owner."

    400 miles is nothing to sweat. What kind of oil do you use?

  120. @Nicki Sunshine
    "When someone first sees me they may think I’m a stuck up b**tch, just because my face I don’t walk around with a cheshire smile and I always look like I’m pouting, and I’m introverted initially

    but fact is, I’m just shy and friendly, waiting for someone else to make the first move… "

    Ditto. Except for the stuck up b*tch. I've had people call me a stuck up n**ga.

  121. Oh GOD. Just got word it's gonna be cloudy and rainy my weekend in Virginia.

    Celibacy club members UNITE. I need your strength that nothing pops off. Yaw know what rain does!!!!!

  122. "Celibacy club members UNITE. I need your strength that nothing pops off. Yaw know what rain does!!!!!"

    @Nicki and CB members: I, Cuzzo, woefully regret that I must resign my postion as Support Counselor, of the Celibacy Club. Shocking as it may be…I've gone over to the dark side. *dun dun dun*

    But, do not cry for me Argentina…I am still young and hope to return someday if you will have me again.

    – Cuzzo

  123. @Cuzzo
    "yes, that u may be…focused…and out of state"

    With statements like this " I got too much assets to turn down.".
    I think it's best that I stay out of state so I can continue to be EXTREMELY focused.

  124. "Celibacy club members UNITE. I need your strength that nothing pops off. Yaw know what rain does!!!!!"

    Nicki stop being so dam!n stuck up and sanctified with that bootay…drop likes its hot on that rod in the rain. Thats booty weather. All sins are forgiven in the rain.

  125. Ok, this guy sounds young,like he as an overactive libido that he cant satify, word to life he cant be a sex addict, addicts sometimes feel guilt,he doesnt. this guy thinks he's invincible, and if i was his girl i would be playing gritball with his ass. i feel sorry for the girls he deals with, cuz they must be just beside themselves cuz the HAVE To know. all i know is that it wouldnt be me.

  126. @Nicki and CB…the weather report for PA is just as dismal..i hear a Carl Thomas cd playing, candle lighting, movie watching kind of weekend coming on. I'd like some " good kind" but trying to be celibate is killing me. I've been at this since super bowl sunday…
    (although i have toys to keep me company..lol) will somebody with the good kind please come take me away…lol

  127. and @nikki

    STAY STRONG GIRLL!!! when my "friend" came over we have chemistry and i witheld,*WHEW* i didnt thinkk i could do it but i did!!

  128. @Given: THanks girl. I"m spending the WEEKEND WITH HIM.

    One of my friends just told me I was taking the plane into Temptation Island. I'm cracking up.

  129. "DAMMIT! We lost another one."

    @Nicki: yea, see, what had happened was…

    I do feel bad about it but, I don't want to stop either. ah, woe is me! woe is me!

  130. @Cuzzo: LOL. Hell, if you don't have any regrets, you straight. I make myself feel so bad afterwards which is what's stopping me.

    @Comeback: "im gonna watch some por#n this weekend." I love your honesty and humor! 🙂

  131. @Comeback
    "Me, some canadian ice wine, popcorn and WESLEY PIPES. YEEEEEEUUUUAH baby!!!"

    You watch that dude? lol. He is hilarious. How can you be in the celibate club and watch porn? If I watch porn i'm ready to tear some s**t up.

  132. @ Hum…i only been in yalls club 4 mos. I need to get my mojo back. I've already done my affirmations, I;'ve named it and claimed it, i aint got long in dis mutha yall….

    (disclaimer: true …dear i have named it and claimed it..that would make me an optimist. Its ok. )

    ***polly anna opens her umbrella and walks into the sunset***

  133. @humble:You watch that dude? lol. He is hilarious. How can you be in the celibate club and watch porn? If I watch porn i’m ready to tear some s**t up.

    to me po#n is funny..i don't get off on it i just laugh..lol. the guys faces are always so serious! im like dude you have to concentrate that hard? lol.

    For me it was a personal choice that has just turned into im not wasting my time with anyone who can't make my head spin. plus i'd kinda like to be a relationship. so i'll wait it out. maybe i'll give in and let someone tear my back out for my birthday. but that's 3 months away..lol

  134. @Comeback – So you just took the summer offf?

    @Akua – Sometimes they are so corny that they are funny. But when I see the old Pinky bent over. Or Cherokee. Whew!

  135. forget porn,

    there are too many erotic thrillers that will turn a woman into a faucet to actually use porn.

    I have 4 movies that I use

    body of evidence

    basic instinct

    wild things

    the notebook

    notebook just makes EVERY woman I have been on a date with cry… even the most hard core angry black women have choked up watching this one…. and then become too emotional and panties fly off.

    the first two, any woman worth her salt will be getting up by chapter 13 to go to the bathroom to wring out her thing in the sink.

  136. Johnny McFly is a helluva guy right? IDK…. the scene the writer proposes is an enticing one. I like to be whisked off by some fly female, but thats all I need to have my ego stroked. Once I realize all the trickery and fuckery that I have to go thru in order to hide it from my gf, I fall back. I'd rather not mess with the devil I don't know (who may have the monster that I dont know as well).


  137. @Comeback – Of all seasons why take the summer off? That is usually the time women go fishing. I thought you all workout late winter/spring for the summer?

    @HNIC – the notebook huh. good look I will make a mental note.

    I am ready to go home. 2 more hrs.

  138. @hasani..I love notebook. i did cry. I can't front. I want to see nights at rodanthe from the looks of it ,it's going to have the same tear jerking potential.

    @flyguy: I’d rather not mess with the devil I don’t know (who may have the monster that I dont know as well).

    Amen to that one brother!!!

  139. of course you love that movie. I date alot of your "types"

    You have to READ what I wrote and not skim… constant issue with you. i didnt say it was an erotic thriller. It makes angry black women blubber like teenage girls and makes them think there is such a thing as a beautiful life and love in the world if they can find the love of a good man.

    i mean… its kinda TRUE…. just not in their world.

    so you kinda gotta know what movie to put on with the type of woman you have over. but I have pretty much since I have been single never had on a porn with a woman (who didnt bring it over herself) these movies just work better because its less direct and more thinking

  140. Im not understanding…Johnny McFly, McFly Ronald McDonald..are yall all one person. Didn't McFly comment this morning and say basically the same thing. Are yall the same people.

    ***side eye***

    where is Slim at.

  141. @ COMEBACK – Nah, we're not the same person. We're all great guys but certainly not the same. You'll see Johnny comment on something, then you may see me (Fly Guy) comment.

  142. @ Fly…

    so what was this about "Johnny McFly is a helluva guy right?"…that seems so random. Everybody's fly and all thats cool..yall got yall's pilot certs too, instrument ratings..can yall really fly?

    holla back.

  143. @true2me
    "im not pessimistic..im just well…cynical"

    nothing wrong with that. In fact I think the problem with the majority of people is that they are not cynical.

  144. Wow, so much has happened in the last few hours…so much indeed.

    Comeback you're extra funny today…you usually have your moments but today you're all over it!

    Uhhh, I think I need to either cut my hair again or go back to my 14in velvet remi cause 3 men well over 45ish were trying to hit on me today, and i think 2 of them succeeded in a very sly way…this mid-length short is too mature looking.

  145. @Humble: "nothing wrong with that. In fact I think the problem with the majority of people is that they are not cynical."

    Uhhh I disagree, cynics are the problem in this country, not everyone is motivated by selfishness, and for those who are that's never a good look.

    And yes sir I have plenty of jokes…now where is our good buddy Why So?

  146. @Akua: looking up malaysian ryt nah!

    @Comeback: remi is my first true love and i'm not sure if i can betray that love, but if this Malaysian is as hot as Akua is making it sound then let the betrayal begin.

    oh and i got the reference, which is why i said you were all over it today.

  147. You guys are too much.

    Comeback: I'm still dying laughing about dropping it like it's hot on the pole in the rain. I was telling a good friend of mine about how the rain in NoLa looks all velvety and makes you wanna do all kinds of bad things…Lawd if it rains right now I'ma…well…nothing

    Ok, ok…I'm still in the club. So there's what me, Jolie, Humble and Nicki?

  148. @Akua: ok so i can't do the malaysian, my full lace is made up of an indian remi hair and with my dark orange complexion it makes me look east indian…been there done that, check the my lace front pics if you don't believe me.

  149. @Teacia

    "cynics are the problem in this country, not everyone is motivated by selfishness, and for those who are that’s never a good look"

    I believe in the words of Ronald Reagan "Trust But Verify". I have grown up around too many slick and conniving people. There are good people but here in Detroit damn near everybody has an angle and everybody is trying to get over each other. As far as politics if people were more cynical of their leaders they wouldn't be able to manipulate the masses as easily and get over with B.S>

  150. @ Comeback – I just thought his comment was a bit too pandering. Just my opinion tho. I could be wrong.
    Most every guys that has those type of interactions feel the temptation, some go through with it, some don't. I can't vilify these guys for doing them….Personally, I know I try my best not to fall for those temptations b/c Im afraid of STD's and I'd rather not deal with the stress of having my girl and her friends terrorize me with sob stories and revenge plots….No overwhelming sense of honor or integrity. I'll save that for my wife.

  151. @Daisy: seriously save your money. i spent $400 just on the hair and another $150 for the installation, which i learned to do on my own after that. it's not worth it, they only stick for a week or two before you have to touch it up. they're heavy and super hot underneath and you can't really style them differently. it was a big waste of money and i got one of the good ones

    my opinion is to invest in a fusion…it lasts much longer and NOBODY will be able to tell it's fake, not even when they touch your scalp.

  152. @ Teacia – I'm growing out my hair and it's about to enter that awkward "soccer mom" phase. Just trying to think of something to do with it. If you guys have any suggestions hook a sista up!

  153. Daisy I personally feel like you should stay away from fusions, they break your natural hair off easily. Also you should ask around your area for stylists who do protective weaves. The protective part imho is very important you want somebody who is just as skilled with your real hair and good maintanance (which means triming, shampooing, deep conditioning, etc). In dc there is a very well known stylist who does alot of essence mag work, robin givens, vanessa williams, (and others who men like to believe don't wear weaves) and she is not the best in helping and protecting natural hair. But she is an excellent weaveologst.

    I like lots of heat and lots of variety, and protective weaves are the best. do a google search or if you are willing to travel to dc, i can give you the website of the person who i love. Also there are a couple of people in ny too who are the bomb.

    twists and rods are good to as Nick mentioned. I am thinking about doing this as well. great for car pool momish type in between situations.

  154. @Jac don't forget me… I did NOT sin last night as bad as I wanted to. I am definitely still in this club and per the doctor will be in for quite awhile (damn back of mine).

    @Comeback you crack me up seriously.

    @true i dont think anyone on this blog presents themselves as perfect except for Hasani

    @All Ya'll ladies talkin about hair – Have I ever mentioned just how much respect I have for you ladies and ya'lls hair? I complain when I have one chunk that won't curl like the rest of my hair does but dang what ya'll go through and pay for… that deserves respect.

    @Teacia i was lookin at your pics i think it looks cute as h3ll short.

  155. @Daisy: Yeah fusions can break your hair off easily if not done properly, especially if you try to remove them yourselves, but I went through a fusion phase and my hair survived without any damage, but I also have a very very thick head of hair. I agree with Comeback in the end, protection weaves are the best, you gotta find the right person.

    @QB: yeah, therein lies the problem, i don't do cute…kids are cute, puppies are cute, but i ascribe to be nothing less than gorgeous…lol, no seriously. besides it grows super fast and i haven't cut it in a month, so it's in this weird grown out short cut phase. it was perfect about 2 weeks ago, if only it would have stayed that length.

  156. Oh and NO BAILOUT!!!

    I say let it hit rock bottom and then rebuild, yeah we'll struggle for about a year, but this is America…that struggle won't last long. But I'm not for bailing their greedy asses out, they wanted a free market they got one!

    *steps off my soapbox and packs it in*

  157. @Teacia-This whole bailout thing is kinda a disaster. I feel very strongly that if Obama does not get in office we will be bailing people out forever.

  158. Wow, Kwame, GROW UP
    An excuse becomes an obstacle in your journey to success when it is made in place of your best effort or when it is used as the object of the blame.


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