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Rantings of an SBM


Another Friday … another chance to rant.

  • I don’t care what anyone says … but for a 40 year old politician … Sarah Palin could get it.  I would make her change her policies and have her speaking without that irritating ass Alaskian accent.  While I am a firm Barak supporter … If McCain wants to win this election … give me like 45 minutes wit her … put all kinds of common sense in her.
  • Who the hell is the analyst Rollins on CNN???  Giving Palin 46 points???  I mean … I will admit I was impressed by her more than I expected … but WTF man … can you even pretend to be impartial.
  • Why isn’t there a deabte at University of Maryland!!!  Home of the Terapins Biatch!
  • Palin really could get it.  I know she is old and kind of evil … but she really could ge tthe bid-ness.
  • Apparently celibacy seems to be popular nowadays.  What is that BS?  Who wants to give up sex?  I just can’t get with it.
  • Someone at work is leaving the company so he can move in with his gf and cut down on his commute.  I don’t know how I feel about that one.
  • Still going on a low sleep diet.  It hasn’t been too bad, but one morning I woke up and couldn’t motivate myself to move or go anywhere.  Caused me to be late one day to the office.  I prolly shoudl stop killing myself.
  • I honestly expected Palin to do worst than she did.  I didn’t think she said anything overly stupid.  I was waiting for her to talk about the cute wolves in Alaska and how they give her advice of foreign policy or something.
  • Ever since I was in that wedding this past weekend … my thought process has been … interesting.  I’m thinking about longer term goals and stuff now.  Its … uh … weird.
  • I think I might start dating my age now.  Can’t say there is any single motivating factor behing it … but figure I’m at a point where I should try it out.
  • I work too hard.
  • Comments section are funny.  I should start a separate forum for all the randomness that goes on.  Aint it a shame when your own comments don’t get acknowleged on your own blog because you haven’t kept up with all the off topic talk.  LOL.  I love you all.
Done with my turn … now your.


  1. Damn Jolie had not been for that shower I took I would be first!! ARGGG lol.

    Well I am going to pull a Nicki today and I am so excited! (no im not cutting my hair) I am going to work at 7 and getting off at 3:30!! wooopie, now i just gotta make it outta here on time boss lady has faith in me!

    SBM just to clarify this whole celibacy club (in my paris voice) is NOT HOT. I didn't purposefully go on strike just to say F it, i did it so my voice could be heard to all men out there just because you have good D doesn't mean I have to put up with the bull shat!! So far nobody hears me lol, but im NOT giving up YES I CAN!!

    Also you really do need to keep up with the comment section yesterday we gust busting funny (to me at least) and i did see you speak but you were so random that I couldn't comment lol. But no seriously you work hard so take a break from time to time and laugh with us we certainly have been through enough shat on here to have a couple laughs while the getting is good!!


  2. So here's my rant:
    -I'm mad i missed the first hour of the VP Debate.

    -I strongly dislike, cause hate is such a yucky word, Mrs. Palin's accent and her views. Clearly, she needed more time to study her conservative flash cards for the debate and in general as a politician. Perhaps, she should get the VP for Dummies textbook at her local bookstore.I'm going in, but I'm allow to if she could potentially lead the nation if McCain dies in office.

    -Why must I run from the bums (they lurk around my dorm) in a couple hours to move my car to escape their rude comments?

    -Why can people just accept a complement and be grateful? Dammit, I am trying to be nice.

    -I still have not made up my mind about my father having a facebook page.

    On a positive note, I'm going home to visit the family.
    I hope all of you guys have an enjoyable weekend.

  3. Hello all, my rants and raves for today:

    1. I really don't know what all the fuss is about with Sarah Palin, she's JUST an average looking woman and she's dumber than a doorknob. Who fails out of 4(2 community) colleges but can still be a nominee for VP….white people are sooooooo overrated!

    2. So she didn't f*ck up, when the hell did that become the standard for leading an entire country…and who wants a "joe 6-pack" running their damn country, not me. And I'm not trying to hate, but let's be real, the woman can't even form a complete sentence using correct syntax…where are the commas and periods when she speaks?!?!? Sorry but I can't get with it…she's ignant yall, white or black…she's just ignant.

    3. I really need to get my car washed today, it hasn't rained in over 2 weeks but my baby Sabrina hasn't seen soap and water in about 3 weeks…it's a damn shame I tell ya, but today it's going down.

    4. Today is going to be pretty slow at the School Board today, maybe I should take my books and actually do some school work in the interim.

    5. My classes are coming along swimmingly, I'm on the path of getting at least a 3.8 this semester…yaaaay me!!

    6. I'm thinking about giving Mr. Avalanche another chance, he's moving to Jax for a new job which got me to thinking that maybe I should start dating locally…and let's face it, even his truck turns me on, lol. Whaaat?!?!?…I like big trucks.

    7. Celibacy is for LOSERS!!! Yeah I said it, lol. It's been 2 weeks since I last had a taste and although I'm not craving just yet it's only a matter of time…and I'll be damned!

    Oh well, that's all for me for now…I'm sure there'll be more as the day progresses.

    Obama/Biden 08!

  4. @SBM…you are one funny dude! Oh and be thankful for the randomness, it's what gets you over 150 comments…count 'em, I gaurantee that over 50% are attributable to randomness…

    My rants and raves:

    1. The debate last night was overly hyped and ended up being a yawn, both of them played it pretty safe…where was the attack dog and the pit bull?

    2. Palin handled herself pretty well, though there was no substance

    3. I bid on four jobs last night, wish me luck folks!

    4. Yesterday, my boss pretty much told me and my coworker that he really wants to promote us to manager as long as we can show we're capable…about to seriously be on my grind…seriously. Starting yesterday

    5. I impressed the hell out of my boss yesterday, I need to keep this up

    6. I sat through webinar last night for my 3rd job and it was AWFUL and unprofessional…what a waste of 3 hours

    7. I really really really don't want to drive to FL this weekend to get my kid…I'm praying my mom will meet me halfway, maybe I'll tell her ATL is still out of gas (actually, people have calmed the f*ck down and all is right again in the world)

    8. It sucks that I don't get to a$$ around with you guys all day anymore…I had to be honest with myself that if I want to get promoted and get a nice bonus, I need to be billable for AT LEAST 6 hours a day and since I HAVE to leave @ 5:30 to get my kid, there's no way for me to make up for my hours of a$$ing around…*SIGH*

    9. Working so close to H&M, MAC, DSW, Express, Ann Taylor Loft, just might be more dangerous than I thought…I went to H&M yesterday to buy a $10 sweater for the office and left with a SUPER FLY dress instead…I will say it only cost $20…GO ME! I should do the $50 challenge with it. Mikki, be looking out for pics

  5. I have one more

    10. I can't stand watching CNN after a debate or political speech (and I Heart CNN, it's the only reason there's a TV in my room) but shows like this, I believe, really take away people's ability to think for themselves…who gives a damn what all these strategists and people with big names think about the performance? Are they voting for me? Plus, all this talk about how the Republicans are ok with Palin's lack of experience and think she's ready to be president (in the almost certain case that McCain keels over at the inauguration) and that her lack of experience is refreshing is starting to enrage me…aren't these the same people who complained about the very same attributes of Barack? What am I thinking, Republican is synonomous with Hypocrit…LAWD let me go to work

    @Teacia "Celibacy is for losers" HAHAHA! I keep toying with the idea of it…but I seriously think I'm allergic.

  6. Rants contin….

    I made it work! not exactly on time 7:05 not bad considering I was and flat ironed my hair in record time. I got this cute lil white girl pony tail going on, it moves when i move which is way cool, my hair is coming along very nicely altho i did finally cut that burnt patch of hair out. Its was a nice chunk of hair but I had to do it, it was buggin the crap outta me plus its not noticeable so it should be fine.

    Nicki you betta be a work I can't get off at 3:30 by myself!!

    The debt snowball has officially come to a halt. I have decided to allocate the rest of my income for the year to this rental rehab. Its a nice chunk of money $6,000 but its going towards and investment and hopefully when the project is finished (late decemeber) I will be collecting $550 a month!

    11 more days til my birthday!!

  7. Lastly,

    Teacia again (to remind you and others) the celibacy club is NOT a club designed to be fun and cool. But I will say again and 1 million times that, its a good thing when you are holding out for that right man and he finally graces you with his presents and you both vibe like the good Lawd intended. Even tho i almost fell off the wagon I am a proud member and I stand by my decision (mostly) to wait until I find that boo that makes me super siked to get off work err day.

    I dunno maybe you guys already have that and welp thats great too and if you don't want that well shame on you freaks!!!

    Oh yes and Humble my dear if i find out that your using your club membership for bragging rights n mackin girls I am going to have to take your sweater, honorary pin for being a man in the club, and your membership! This is not a game and you will not slander our good name!!

  8. Mikki…GO YOU! LOL. I need to get in contact with you soon, I'm thinking about jumping on the bandwaggon with the rental prop in tha D.

  9. My rants or riffs

    1. This self-inflicted celibacy is killing me. Going to sleep on rock and waking up on rock is not whats up.

    2. I was considering moving from Detroit next year but, the way the economy is looking and me being a homeowner I think I am stuck.

    3. My house is too small for me.

    4. The oil pan for my car is on backorder until November. Now I have to put more miles on the sports car.

    5. I love my parents

    6. I am glad I am almost over this flu. This was a sign that I need to really start taking care of myself like I use to.

    7. This issue with my car has me reconsidering buying another car.

  10. @SBM: We don't ignore you, it's just that you're away A LOT. And when the cats away….. 🙂

    I'm seconding Mik's reasons for celibacy. It is not the bizness, but it simply must be done.

    Shout out to T and her dirty car… mine has you faaarrr beat. And what's worse is I don't care. LOL

    Bree, we are missing you! And I'm still jealous of your freaking H&M. Damn Kentuckiana (Kentucky/Indiana).

    LMAO at Jolie and FIRST!

    My rants (more like randoms):

    1. I watched about thirty minutes of the debate and decided sleeping was better… Went to bed at 9:45 p.m. (how un-American?)

    2. Me and one of my girls have been on a wild goose chase looking to rent the STRANGERS for tonight's movie night (such a stickler for horror!) No LUCK YET.

    3. Halloween is just around the corner, my favorite holiday. I want to go to a haunted forest but everyone is too scared to go with me.

    4. Going to GNC to get a diet pill… this excessive eating of the Doritos must stop.

    5. Due to the love of #4, I woke up in the middle of the night needing milk b/c of excessive heartburn (I'm getting old).

    6. I look damn cute today. ('scuse me while I dust my shoulders off)

    7. I hope you guys are as funny today as you were yesterday… boy, yaw made my day breezy.

    8. More wedding dress shopping this weekend…. Saturday and Sunday. What makes these broads think this is fun for me?

    9. I have a fantastic family. Love them all.

    10. I have had the BESTest, DEEPest sleeps this week… I'm talking waking up with prints all over my face and body!

  11. @SBM – Do you usually date younger or older? The celibacy is not cool but, women and sex can be a distraction at times.

    @Breelicious – You have been missed all week.

  12. @Mik: I'm here doll. You are saying everythin I want to say with this celibacy thing. 🙂

    @Humble: Hope you feel better, bruh.

  13. @Mik: High-fivin' ya back. Now if I could just get a sexy working man to see me. LOL. That's the whole battle right there.

    What if a delivery guy came in the office and looked like Boris Kudjoe on Soul Food? That's my fantasy right there…. Might have to take him in the coat closet (in my mind!)

  14. @Mikki aka Anitraclark
    "Oh yes and Humble my dear if i find out that your using your club membership for bragging rights n mackin girls I am going to have to take your sweater, honorary pin for being a man in the club, and your membership! This is not a game and you will not slander our good name!!"

    I am playing no game and I am not trying to mack. I can't work 2 jobs, go to school, and chase women. I had to give something up temporarily and it was sex. I decided to do this so I could give more and perform better at the more important things.

  15. I totally understand the "Battle" Boris in the closet?? I know one thing I was on blackplanet last night and i came across this eye candy that was to die for I am thinking about making a calendar out of his pictures and posting them all over my room to remind myself THATS what im waiting FOR!

    Ok Humble Just checking….

  16. lmao this kid said go drive your electric car into ocean, bawaaaahaaaaaa!!

    Nicki that was seriously funny

  17. Nicki: Yeah I wasted too much money on my rims to not give a damn and if I don't get them cleaned soon the chrome will tarnish and that will be a bitch to get polished off…so today on my 2+ hour lunch break(hey its I don't give a damn friday) my baby will get her shine on.

    Bree: I briefly…and I do mean briefly considered it as well. The only problem is that none of my pentis is local(except the sponsor, not sure I want to go there again though) and I lack the desire these days to travel for the D…then again they always come to me. Taking a break though fo sho'…kind of still attached to the old D and got use to waiting on it.

    Man life is so complicate when ur single and almost 30. "You know its hard out here for a piiiimp…"

  18. Good morning people! It's Friday!!!!!

    -I truly love the weekend…and this weather is sooo perfect.

    -I thought the debate last night was freakin hilarious. The whole notion of Palin as the potential vp of the United States is so absurd, it makes me crazy. There were so many WTF moments last night, I couldn't keep up.

    -My dog is sick. 🙁 We have an appointment at the vet today and I hope insurance covers everything. Pets are waay too expensive.

    -It's time to buy new tires for my car. Eff!

    -I think this past week was one of the most stressful I've EVER had. Three cheers to Jesus for sustaining me!

    Have a great Friday!

  19. @Teacia: Got ya. Hell, if I spent real money on the car, I'd probably be a freak about it… but it's a '05 Suzuki, whatcanyado? (Dear GOD, I AM NOT COMPLAINING!)

    Man life is so complicate when ur single and almost 30. “You know its hard out here for a piiiimp…”

    Preaching to the choir. I always thought I'd get married, at least have a prospect by 28. BUT NOOONNNNE. (lookin in the mirror, remind myself I'm cute today, take a deep breath, shake that sh** off! LOL)

  20. Before I retired to sleep, I did see Palin, or hear her (I was in another room) talkin about she may not answer the questions that was asked….

    …. um, what happens when you do that in a test? Ya fail.

  21. i just texted the guy i last slept with and asked him does he remember when it was, he hasn't responded yet I wonder if he is offended lol. Seriously I mean I think it was August or September of 07.

    I am trying to get a list together of club members and there begin date of celibacy

    Nicki & humble whats your dates??? I am going to email rankings next week.

  22. Did anybody read about the guy who got charged with assault for farting in the back of the cop car and waving it in the air???

    Yes Nicki spread the word Thanks!!

  23. @Mikki, People still use Blackplanet, I though t htat was dead, like seriously

    1. Going to a stepshow this weekend, it better be tough or imma be crazy mad
    2. Work sucks
    3. I need a drink, something strong too
    4. Palin is a ditsy a## soccer mom from the back woodz, liek can we just get rid of her. She can't even say any facts about what they wanna do, she needs to retire like now

  24. @Mik: I shole will… thing is, none of my friends are celibate. It's a lonely struggle in Kentuckiana. LOL.

    Ew.. that's nasty… but the cop really charged him for that? I'm cracking up.

  25. @Teacia & Nicki Sunshine
    "Man life is so complicate when ur single and almost 30. “You know its hard out here for a piiiimp…”"

    It gets more complicated at 30. I am single without kids. I am not sure which path to follow. I do know that I don't want to be that dude that I use clown in the club when I was younger. I still clown this dude today.

  26. Yall are doing the absolute MOST with the Celibacy Club nonsense…cut it out already.

    Mikki I can't believe it's been a year…I don't even think I can comprehend how that must feel…I'm impressed(?) I guess.

  27. lmao Yes Mr swagger people still use BP and im not ashamed!! I swear that man on there was fine don't hate! Besides what are my other options FACEBOOK?? MYSPACE?? yea ok. Me and Blackplanet go way back so bunk what cha hurd I'm still down!!!

  28. @SBM==Palin? yeah, your taste is definitely suspect now…lol

    Celibacy…what's that? LOL! Yeah, I have a spurt of celibacy about 5-6 days out of the month…lol

    I'm not in the sharing mood this Friday…lol

  29. @Humble: I always thought it is the man who has the final say…. we (the women) wait to be asked for marriage.

    Would you say that your problem is 1) no prospects, or 2) fear of taking that step?

    Just my experience, it seems like men establish a career, get their house/home together, THEN look for a woman to marry… whereas it seems that women are more willing to marry throughout the process.

  30. lmao Fung Ke

    Humble what the flip is your DATE!!

    Teacia cumon you know u wanna join, there is polo in it for ya and a pin….

    temptation temptation!!!

  31. Nicki your right men do it differently, and correct me if im wrong but I think deep deep down despite all the hooping and hollering about independent women, they actually DO want to be the bread winner and the man of the house and all that jazz. its harder when you have to be in competition with a woman.

    But yes us women would rather have that struggle together, im not sure why that is do you know why????

  32. Johnny: Dude you say "like" alot alot..

    Humble: Yeah mister well I have a kid and I know my path…my problem is that I need to pick a guy and stick with that choice…good, bad or indifferent. I can't keep just switching it up when something happens that I don't like. There is only one guy that I never wanted to trade in but it turned out that he's not that nice(for real for real) and I'm too crispy for the dumb shit so I had to keep it moving.

    But I have time…no worries.

    Oh and PLEASE don't become that dude in the club…there's more to life than you. And just in case you need me to break it down…stopped being so concerned about all the things YOU want to accomplish in life first…it's so much sweeter having someone to share the triumphs with.

  33. @Mik: IDK. I wonder if it has to do with us being more nurturing and wanting to nurture throughout the struggle. OR knowing that we can last throughout the struggle?

    Sorry, SBM, to start the randomness sooo early.

  34. "@Mikki – lol. Calm yo a*s down"

    why was i just slightly turned on by this….

    im so so sorry *cough cough*

    (slaps self)

    ok thank you Humble we are gonna go with Feb for you.

  35. @Mik: maybe you are right… maybe they are one track minded… throw all energy into ONE thing and ONE time.

    Any rebuttals/correction from our male sides?

  36. Hey You Guys. I'll do my rant when I get to the office or airport.

    @ Nick–I LOVED the Strangers.

    @ Mik -you tell T Girl..the celibacy club is not for BSing AT ALL. This is not a chilly chill spot type smoking lounge situation.

    @ SBM well if Sarah Palin could get it…her husband Todd could give the ladies a lil sumtin sumtin. That man is a little eye candyish too. I never really seen white men with a tight goatee but its nice. Todd is a filfy type dude.

    Booo at the celibacy club. here it is almost halloween and shyt…when all the scary movies come out..every time this year. I have a man where we go and see all the scary stuff…WHO am i gonna see SAW with????

  37. @Humble "going to sleep on rock and waking up on rock"…errr…where do you live again?

    Aww, I miss you guys too! (tear) I'll check in during my 2 hours of allotted unbillable time, LOL

  38. @comeback: SHUT UP! I didn't hear about another SAW. Where the F have I been????!!!!

    I hope I can find a copy of the Strangers when I get off…..

  39. Dont have a rant today, watched the debate,Biden won hands down but damnit Palin is a MILF and that in it of itself may be the determening factor,hell, it worked for JFK.

    o and uh, THE LAST AND FINAL DEBATE IS AT MY SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!! YAYYY HOFSTRA(although no one knew where it was until now).

  40. @Nicki Sunshine
    "Would you say that your problem is 1) no prospects, or 2) fear of taking that step?

    Just my experience, it seems like men establish a career, get their house/home together, THEN look for a woman to marry… whereas it seems that women are more willing to marry throughout the process."

    I have no prospects. I have no fear in taking the next step. I believe that I can't do any worse than I already have. You are right I about men wanting to be established and get their house/home together. Thats how I feel. I've already started my career but there are a few things that I want to get in order.

    "Oh and PLEASE don’t become that dude in the club…there’s more to life than you. And just in case you need me to break it down…stopped being so concerned about all the things YOU want to accomplish in life first…it’s so much sweeter having someone to share the triumphs with"

    lol. I really don't think I will be that guy. He is so sad and corny. I am not sure what single middle aged men do for sex and women. I just know I dont want to be that dude.

  41. @Humble: " I’ve already started my career but there are a few things that I want to get in order."

    Got ya…. why do you do that? Just interested.

    Second, heck, I thought it'd be easy to find a good prospect… it seems to be so many great women around…. single one… Don't get me wrong, I know there's some skanks… but between the women on this blog and my friends here, it seems that we far outnumber the good men.

  42. Comeback trust that I have NO desire to be a part of the club. I commend those who do for their decision but I'm not that chic. I usually take a couple months off to feel out the next man but uhhh yeah celibacy is not an option.

    Humble glad to hear that…because that would be such a sad occurence.

  43. @Mikki & Nicki – I had a talk with my mother about this. Women multitask their life while men do things one at a time. I feel that when your attention is focused on a few select areas you can be at your best. One thing won't take from another. When you have a million things going on something gets neglected.

  44. Thank you den mother can I get your date please??

    Given yes luv you don't have to share details we will just put cha down for "Summer Time 08

    High 5 @ Nicki digging for details from Humble

    is your major psychology by chance?

  45. @Mik: Yes, dahlin I am a psych major.

    @humble: thanks for answering that questions Hon. That explains a LOT! I need to change my pool. (puts my 4 inch heels back on, my jacket, walks out of the building to look for a replacement pool) 🙂

  46. Mikki pay attention…she just told us 2 days ago when she failed her Chem test that she was a psychology major…lol…DO BETTER!

  47. @Teacia…as always we have the same problems…all my good good is outta town. If I could just take one man in Atlanta seriously, I culd get some on the regular!

  48. Ok Humble I do commend men for wanting to give there very best in the relationship but you still have to realize Life won't always be perfect which is what it seems like men seek constantly. I mean seriously you can't honestly think that once you decide to "Settle down" thats its all gonna be roses 24/7 do ya?? I say the career thing and education is a must do but after that come on now I can't keep buying that excuse….

    I actually know few men trying to concur the world like pinky and the brain but I do honestly admit that some of this comes from being hurt in the past by women so they want to now focus the energy on something thats less likely to be a BIG let down, hints reason for getting all career'd up

  49. @Breelicious
    "…errr…where do you live again?"

    lol. You are not helping.

    P.S. I stay in Detroit. Southeast Michigan, 42.111 degrees latitude, -83.193 longitude,

  50. @Mik: that's alright hon. My memory is the absolute WORST.

    "I mean seriously you can’t honestly think that once you decide to “Settle down” thats its all gonna be roses 24/7 do ya?? I say the career thing and education is a must do but after that come on now I can’t keep buying that excuse…."

    I honestly think this is one of the things we are going to have to accept. Men and women are different and although we feel their way of thinking should be different, I don't think it's gonna change. Once we realize it, we can stop feeling so frustrated because we have to wait for men to "be ready" for us.

    I know it may sound like an attitude of defeat, but I try to accept the things I cannot change, and change the things I can't accept. If you happen to run across one of these men and you aren't willing to wait, like TLC said, "Switch." LOL. There's got to be someone out there!

  51. @T: "Mikki and Nicki….dont yall have some shat to do today other than yapping away on here aimlessly all day…lol."

    yah, like PRETENDING to work. LOL. I multitask at B-s'in.

  52. RTOFLMBAO @ Humble!!!

    Bree: I got a call last night saying "meet me halfway"…that mess shook my ass for a minute but I didn't feel like being bothered…now next week that may be a different story…I mean it's my bday…I gotta get laid on my bday!! Right?!?!?

  53. Teacia let me think…….

    ummmm, errrrr, uhhhhh


    But I think we are a lil off topic taking up rant space, maybe i can get SBM to give us another room, besides im still trying to get a head count for the club members, I need to get business cards and flyers made….

  54. Ok guys I finally got a good 10 second look at my "warehouse" guy and He is not that bad looking, I swear its not the warehouse talking, it just can't be….

    Teacia I am multi tasking, where is Jac, whyso, hugh,anti, and the rest of the cracker jack gang…..

  55. @Mikki & Nicki
    " I mean seriously you can’t honestly think that once you decide to “Settle down” thats its all gonna be roses 24/7 do ya?? I say the career thing and education is a must do but after that come on now I can’t keep buying that excuse…."

    I understand that. You just want to be as prepared as possible when that person comes into your life. Once you have some consistancy and stability then your are more open to receiving that woman. It's not about women it's about being able to be secure in holding yourself down the way you want to.

  56. Hey peeps I haven't commented in a while….

    1.I'm pissed because nobody's here today and my phone has been ringing constantly….
    2. I'm ready for a new career. 4 years of IT is long enough….

    I'm still in the club…. And my date is Oct 20,07…. If it hadn't been for a visit by an ex I would be going all the way back to April of 06. Oh well, I'm almost at a year again…

  57. *climbing on box and turning on mic*

    Anyone who has not had sexual relations with someone other than themselves in the last 90 days can not…I repeat CAN NOT answer my birthday question. All others feel free to delve.

    *turning off mic and stepping down*

  58. @Teacia: You have to get laid on your birthday. Actually, I think you should try and get laid as many days of your life as humanly possible.

  59. @T: "Anyone who has not had sexual relations with someone other than themselves in the last 90 days can not…I repeat CAN NOT answer my birthday question. All others feel free to delve."

    ROFL! (and bows out gracefully!)

    @Humble: I can understand that… men just think diff than us.

    @80's BABY: hey hey now! You have been very successful with the celibacy, I see. 🙂

  60. why so's crazy randomness and random craziness.

    – Start off always by saying this. I am thankful and grateful for everything in life, down to the breath filling my lungs right now **inhales**

    – Sarah Palin has nice cheekbones. Random, but i had to look at her for an extended period of time.

    – I was waiting for her to take off the glasses, let down her hair, and a stripper pole shoots up from the ground. Then a strobelight comes on and she starts "takin it off" then they make it rain economic bailout and stimulus checks and yeah….my imagination

    – and last thought she sounds EXACTLY like the mom from Bobby's World. cotdamn.

    – f*ck the fall. moto gets put up. days get shorter. and girls put away their booty shorts. damn!

    more randomness once i think of it

  61. Thank you 80's Baby!! You are Head Honcho righ nah!!

    Teacia I just finished my time sheet for work, how is that for being productive??

  62. Wow Whyso just wow….. make it rain economic bailout and stimulous checks, that seriously has GOT to be my laugh for today. I KNOW can't nobody top that.

  63. Nicki yea I just watched it and thats just not right….

    His baby momma let him kiss on that girl like dat yo?

  64. Mornin SBM fam

    few ravs and rants

    -Circle City classic starts today. I'm so geeked. I'm going to the Mike Epps comedy show then to the after party. After the party its the hotel lobby…. j/k lol. Not sure if I wanna go to the game tho (Alabama A&M University vs. Tuskegee University)

    -I really need to rake my front yard. All those damn leaves n shat…. i'll do it next weekend

    – I cut my hair on tuesday…i dont know why either. 6 inches I cut off. But people say it looks good. Do I believe them??

    – I love fridays. I have 4 patients compared to the 16 I see during the week. I have more time with you guys 🙂

    [email protected] Nicki you are crackin me up with the Kentuckiana. too funny. But I feel ya. It isnt any better in indianapolis

    @ Humble are those coordinates to your house or just to the Detroit area????

  65. @ Nicki- well you know firsthand that majority of the men in KY are not up to par…. So instead of adding numbers for the heck of it.. I'm content without it.

  66. Godd Morning Folks!

    "you’re killing me son!"
    slow down son, ya killin' em…who fillin' em with octane bottles gassed up, bout to get blast up…Jolie has me singing that early in the morning. Love me some B.I.G.

    Now to read the other fiftyleven comments and come back to add my own.

  67. Alabama A&M University vs. Tuskegee University!

    Go Tuskegee



    had to give a shout out thats my little brothers school!

  68. @Indiana: We need pics of this short hair cut (I love short hair cuts!)

    And HELL to da naw, the man choice is 100% worst. At least yaw have stuff going on throughout the year. We have….. Derby… in MAY.

    @80's Baby: Girl, hear? Shouts out to you for that statement.

  69. "WHO am i gonna see SAW with????"

    @Comeback: This is part of my rant today…

    -I'm tired of these damn SAW movies. I never see them in the theater. The last one I saw was #3 on Starz and it was uber-wack.

  70. @Indiana Jones
    "Humble are those coordinates to your house or just to the Detroit area???"

    uuuhhh….. Will answering this question have any bearing on my club membership?

  71. Random:

    "Attitudinal"….that's word that I don't get to use often. I think I may attempt to incorporate that in a sentence today.

  72. Celibacy Role call Time!!

    80's Baby – October 20, 2007

    Mikki – November 2007 (i just remember it being kinda cold out)

    Nicki – January 20, 2008

    Humble_One – February 2008

    Given – Summer 2008

    wooodeee wooooooooooooo

  73. First off. @Mikki: AAMU All the way.


    Lots of business to take care of today.

    Missed debate last night because of coworker outing.

    Busy day, but I'm exhausted.


    I totally love life.

    Saw two old friends last night.

    I really love all of you.

    @Nicki-Where you at?

  74. @Nicki
    "SHUT UP! I didn’t hear about another SAW. Where the F have I been????!!!!"

    Uh, you never noticed that these movies come out around halloween every year…for the past five years? Yes, where have you been.

    @Tea: get laid in a special way 😉 on ya bday

    @SBM: We love you too!!! and Sarah Palin is not that hot. You would give the bidness to Martha Stewart too, wouldn't you?

  75. No Jac you did not come out the Bushes with that AAMU mess

    its on now sista!!!!

    Humble the answer is Yes

  76. Mikki: Sweetheart, it ain't mess. I was born into being an AAMU fan. Yep. That's how it's gotta be, but I do have ONE cousin that went to Tuskegee. I must refer to it as that because TU is 25 feet away from me as we speakm:) Must not confuse myself. Rum is still talking to me a little.

  77. @Indiana: Do you have a digital camera? Kodakphotogallery.com is a good photo sharing tool, and so is Picture Trail (shouts out to T for that!)

    I'm gonna start saying, "shouts out to…" NO CLUE what that means. Seems to be what the cool kids are doing.

    Shout out to the "others" that look like Robin Thicke. Get at me. EARLY!

    (ok, enough rap city for me!)

  78. @Humble

    "I can’t work 2 jobs, go to school, and chase women."

    you? chase? nooooo

    "@ Humble I wont tell if you wont."

    you can however work 2 jobs, go to school, and get a quickie from Indi 😉 see…no efforts. it's win-win but lose for celibacy.

    nevermind, shutting up now.

    @Jac: whatever Tea likes. might not be special to me or you, just whatever she likes. that's all.

  79. lmao Nicki

    Jac are you really at TU?? go check on my brother for me!!!

    Comeback ok i Got you down for next call for alcohol

  80. Thanks Cuzzo…I'm on the fence about it at the moment, kinda hard to just switch it up like that after such a meaningful last relationship. I mean the thought of our souls not connecting just brings my poor heart tears….LMAO SIKE!!!!

    Jodie my Jodie…oooh I need me a Baby Boy type negro to just LAY IT DOWN!!! *doing the beat it up dance*

  81. Mikki: NOOOO not that TU. But I might know someone who is. I am next door to TU as in Tulane.

    Cuzzo:I have a new special way that I'm interested in. I have to put in work though…and then well upside down here I come!

  82. EXTREME HOME MAKEOVER is doing the move that bus!!! by me today at 2, i think i wanna leave work n go try to be on tv

  83. @Nicki
    "Shout out to the “others” that look like Robin Thicke."

    Tell ya man to get his stache straight..it makes him look like a rat…a cute rat…but a rat none the less. just something about that stache. Do you like his now polished look versus his earlier scraggly hippie look?

  84. @Cuzzo: LOL. I can't stand you. I"m over here DYING! I Love him now… I can take him out to dinner now that he's polished… before, he looks like he wanted to walk around the house, barefoot and topless in linen pants… his first album BANGS though. I'm still listening to it.

  85. @Indiana Jones
    "Humble I wont tell if you wont"


    @Mikki – What are the rules? Can we leave the club and come back?

  86. Oh Jac my bad well why the heck did u say you was next to TU lol we talking about football ova here, keep up!!!

  87. Bouncing outta here for that 2.5 hr lunch break(no more appts until 1pm) to get my car wash and my uhhh eat on.

    Yall be easy.

  88. Humble once your out there is no re-entrance sorry bruh, you betta think about this one


  89. Mikki:I know what we're talking about. I still say AAMU. I am going to their Homecoming next week uber excited.

    Humble:No sweetheart, no leaving and coming back.

  90. @Tea

    "*doing the beat it up dance*"

    Get that David Banner! Doesn't that song bring out everyone's inner-hoe on the dancefloor? I'm guilty.


    You know he likes the sisters too? His wife is black (she's the chick in the Lost WO You vid). During an interview he said how he sang Jodeci's "Forever My Lady" to her in high school on their first date. awwwww But can you imagine this scrawny white dude busting out the Jodeci? I'd laugh then cry.


    upside down? wtf? I'm getting a headache just thinking about it.

  91. @Cuzzo
    "you? chase? nooooo"

    I don't chase. For the most part women dont approach men so I have to put in some work. Not a lot but some work. I'm glad I can't see any of you.

  92. @Cuzzo: Not laugh then cry. Girl…. for the right "other," he could probably have me twisted…. I haven't found him yet. Definitely open to it. Although I'd like to go for the Ramirezes and Perezes first though.

  93. "I can only say that Sarah Palin impresses me as the least qualified human being I've ever seen run for political office. If she were a Black man with similar qualifications, she would probably be unemployed. "

    -Dr. Boyce Watkins

    just read this in my email…HA!

  94. Mikki: I don’t think Humble’s got any problems with loooonnnggg and harrrrdddd

    eh heh hem and Jac what exactly makes you "think" this??


  95. @Nicki

    I dunno about the espanol brothas. *shrugs* Come to think of it, there are hardly any in Philly. Philly is so damn segregated.

  96. So I'm trying to figure when my car became my shoe closet. I literally had 3 pair of pumps, 2 pair of high heel sandals and a pair od flip flops. My new work then school commute is really killing my knack for cleanliness.

    It took me 5 minute to pre-clean my car before they could take the keys…damn shame.

  97. @Cuzzo: I need the right kind of espanols… it really depends… How about the Asians???? Hmmmmm. Gotta open my options… not very good luck with the brothas lately.

  98. Ok im out of order and didn't do my gratirants yet.

    (This rant is rated R)

    1. Life is good. It just can't get no gooder. God is Good too. and she's all up and through in these mountains. I wish i had had a chance to do the balloon rides, but i digress this was a work trip and not Comeback Girl's fantastic vacation adventure.

    2. My work buddy tried to set me up the day before yesterday with a 54 year old. WTF am i pose to do with a 54 year old. Thats like my daddy's peer and shyt. YUCK!!!

    3. i can't wait to sleep in my own bed tonite.

    3a. I need to redo my vision board so that a man is actually in the bed WITH ME.

    3b. So over on VSB i have realized that people ARE NOT actually having sex, they are fykin. There is a difference. I do like to fyck about 60% of the time. But making great lov#e is SOO much better.

    4. How did i end up with more work and finding more crazy things to fix than when I left…contract security gotta love that. Lou Lou …im coming to get your red bottom 4 inch @zz.

  99. @Indiana Jones
    "I wont tell if you wont."


    @Mikki – What if you have some clothes on? Are the Bill Clinton rules in effect?

  100. @Nicki you comin up to Indy for the classic this wkend?

    @Humble I approach men all the time. You have to go after what you want… in a sexy sophisticated way of course

    It seems that most of you guys live in the DC area, is that a correct assumption??

  101. @Indiana. No girl 🙁 I had honestly forgotten all about it and have told two of my friends that I will go bridesmaid dress shopping (just bubbling over with excitement for this)

    Plus I need to study because after failing that Chem test, I've learned this is not something I can cram for.

  102. "Apparently celibacy seems to be popular nowadays. What is that BS? Who wants to give up sex? I just can’t get with it." … membership has its privileges.

    No chance (not a 6% or 2% or w/e but NO) of an unwanted pregnancy or a lethal STD. Less chance of an unwarranted emotional attachment, i.e. d! goggles. Easier to focus on other things and see a person for who they really are as opposed to being d**knotized.

  103. Mikki this club has officially become an obsession…and this is an intervention. We either need to find you some d*ck or a hobby. Anyone got any ideas?

  104. OKay breaks almost over so I will finish reading other peoples rants on lunch.

    1. I am not part of the Celibacy club b/c i dont want to have sex – but i am tired of having sex with guys that dont deserve me, and i am tired of being the other woman (ya'll can hate on me for having ever done that but yeah i been there done it a LOT).

    2. I just went to get cash out of the ATM and it said my available balance was $4.00. Funny when i login to the banks website it says it's much more than that. i dont have time to call the bank right now.

    3. I switched shifts w/ someone today so i could come in early and get off work early to go to a purse party – plans to go to the purse party have been canceled but i still had to be here at 8:30 this morning… not happy.

    4. I am hating this celibacy club… but am going on a new med that is suppose to decrease my sex drive… hopefully it will help. lol.

    5. the bar i frequent had the basement flooded the other day (i am not surprised – it's a dive bar) and had to close for awhile. I cant get a hold of anyone to tell me when they are going to reopen.


    okay that's it for now… have a fantastic day everyone.

  105. @Nicki

    I have yet to see a 100% Asian that I was moderately attracted to. Have you? Now, you mix it with some black or white…diff story.


    What's VSB?

  106. @Cuzzo: Only the ones in the Missy videos that can dance. The hip hop ones… or Chad from N.E.R.D.

    Oh, oh, there was one on this Asian movie I watched with subtitles once, but I've never seen one in person.

    V.S.B is verysmartbrothas.com

  107. Sara Palin's accent is sexy as hell man what r u talking about?
    it has such a suburban innocent white soccer mom appeal to it, its totally milf.

    SBM calendar was not a pipe dream… you guys have three months of me. You may hate my uppity morals, but if I sit there on your desktop at work without you having to read my opinions…. Im not that bad on the eyes.

    speaking of which, my first fashion show is in 4 weeks, let the starvation begin!!!

  108. @Indiana Jones
    "I approach men all the time. You have to go after what you want… in a sexy sophisticated way of course"

    You are not helping my membership.

    "oh and ive come to realizationt that SBM’s calendar was just a pipe dream."

    Please, please, say it aint so.

  109. @Indi
    "It seems that most of you guys live in the DC area, is that a correct assumption??"

    You are incorrect.

    How many times we gotta address this Bill Clinton stuff? YES. It's sex! Sex is in the verbage – ORAL S-E-X. I hope you were joking cuz naivety is not a good look on you.

  110. @Cuzzo
    "How many times we gotta address this Bill Clinton stuff? YES. It’s sex! Sex is in the verbage – ORAL S-E-X. I hope you were joking cuz naivety is not a good look on you."

    I am trying to see how I can work my Celibacy Club membership. Mikki and Jac said once you are out then you are out. I was joking.

  111. Humble, post yo calendar pics SON!!!

    Im fat nasty and ugly and posted my 3 months, hop on it my brotha. being a single middle class well spoken working black male with no kids…. is not about looking like a greek god, your resume alone makes you appealing enough for women to want to mark their hair appointments under your photo!!

    its like specialty porn for us… do we REALLY care how the chicks look when we buy 40/40 porn? NO… you just care that she has 40 bust and 40 booty.

    Ever look at those men in ebony magazine that are batchlor of the month? Pfft… its all about the resume bro.

    no kids, not a thug tall and dark makes you attractive

  112. @Nicki

    "I’ve never seen one in person" lol. like they are some kinda mystics. If I see one, I will have to take a pic. I don't care what they say. Gotta ask if they're 100% first.

    Rant #2

    -if one more grown man says "she got a donk" in my midst, I will ask him if he's mildly retarded. I'm very good at ignoring these types of comments but dammit – they must think it's cute.

  113. Humble… brotha… level with me.
    no single black male should be going without sex. theres just too much out here that wants guys like us.
    I know its easier to stay home than to deal with drama of overbearing women, but come on now. I know you can rack up 4-6 women around your way. There is ALWAYS some corporate sista who dosent want any type of boyfriend or man in her life… but still needs someone for oncall dick.

    the ratio of women to men is just too insane for you to go without any company… especially if your a unicorn SBM.

  114. Hasani the calendar is for the girls….BUT you may be on to something. Maybe we should do a full out classy calendar one for each gender…fully clothed with our creds on the sides…kind of like a bachelor and bachelorette format highlighting us all. Now I'm all down for that.

  115. Breakfast at Chic-fil-a – $4

    Wasting gas while sitting in stop/go traffic – $7

    Missing an hour of work – $25

    LMAO at the rants of the SBM fam – priceless!

    Happy Friday people.

  116. Thank you cuzzo for helping out Humble, he is like those U of M / Michigan State band waggon riders. Everytime the other team losses he is jumping on the winning ship ( Go Mich!)

    But for the last time Humble no Clintons.

    Teacia Don't worry luv, I am forming a list of prospectives, and one is OMG DROP DEAD SEX eeeeeee!!

  117. @Cuzzo: that song is my current guilty pleasure…the beat just makes you wanna shake you bootay…you should see me and my daughter in the car bouncing around when it comes on…but I agree it is PURE IGNANCE!!

  118. @Mikki start date would have been June 16th… June 15th was the last time… dang now you got me thinkin about that night…. it. was. the. best. ever. … okay i can think about it.

  119. @HNIC – No posing in a calendar for me son. I'm a grown ass man. You are right about the sex. But I have bigger fish to fry

    @Mikki – So I see I can't work the system. What about dry humping. lol.

  120. @Tea
    lol. woah now. she doesn't know what he's talking about does she (has she asked)? does she sing the words too? I was at one of my friends 1 YO bday party and all the little kids knew the music (not the 1 YO but the other lil kids). She was playin' lil wayne and stuff like that. And I'm sitting there feelin old like what is this? and where is the kid's bop?

  121. QB you just gave me an idea!!!

    Ok we are going to have "throwback day" for club members ONLY

    On this day we are going to recall our last time and tie it to an old school song of Your choice.

    I can put it on my other blog and the set up will be Name of song and then the story (short stories not long) and then the video of your song will follow it.

    Humble NO DAMN LET IT GO!!

  122. "My leather so soft, my top so soft. I'll probably have it off, these niggaz so soft…And I go so hard…bitch I go so hard"

    ….ooooh my baby candy apple red azz shines so bright when she's clean…"they spinning nigga they spinnin…they spinnin nigga they spinnin."

    …yeah it's a great day to roll top down…I LOVE October weather!!!

  123. @Mikki; Lovin your throwback day… what's your other blog name?

    @Cuzzo: Not snappin pics! Agh. Oh, there's a sexy Asian on Memoirs of a Geisha.

  124. @Mikki

    you are doing THE MOST (works cite: Tea) (works cite of works cite: comeback) with this club


    dry humping is OK. But, how long will it stay dry?

  125. @Teacia
    "yeah it’s a great day to roll top down…I LOVE October weather!!!"

    You don't have to rub it in the face of us northerners. Thats okay. This is the season for the fly gear for us.

  126. Cuzzo my daughter is super smart so she knows the words to everything including "he gives me the bizness..if u know exactly what I wanna do, then imma give the bizness to you"…it's her fav song.

    Now under normal circumstances I would be ashamed except my daughter is also a very well behaved straight A student in Honors Kindergarden and attends a private Christian Academy…balance is key ya know. I will worry when she's no longer into Hanna Montana and wants to see Lil Wayne in concert.

  127. "dry humping is OK. But, how long will it stay dry?"


    Cuzz was that a compliment?

    Nicki likes my idea lol, I thought it was rather clever myself. Nicki I'm anitrasplace on the SBM blogroll 3rd from the top luv.

    Whats wrong with having fun with being sexless??? I just don't see the problemz…

  128. Cuzzo she's doing the ABSOLUTE MOST!!!

    Nicki…it's cool, it's my guilty pleasure so I'm not proud of it either…lol.

  129. @Humble

    "This is the season for the fly gear for us."


    which reminds me…


    I too went in H&M for one thing – a dress – and ended up buying another one for $20. It's not fly, but with the right accessories. c'est manifique.

  130. @Mik: Nothing wrong with it.. we have to laugh to keep from crying… hell, we're doing it and it's our option so love it.

    @T: Honey my guilty pleasure is THE HILLS. TOP THAT!

  131. @Mikki
    "Cuzz was that a compliment?"

    Nah. It wasn't one of those twisted lemme see what he's about comments. C'mon now, I don't have explain this one. You know about dry humping. I dunno about you but clothes do not stay on much longer once this takes place. Somebody has got to leave or it's going down. If you're grinding on a dude's lap, you're gonna feel his muscle then you're gonna want to FEEL his muscle. ya smell me?

  132. Hello All, time for the rants:

    -I am celibate because I prefer to have sex within a relationship. This sucks. I need sex. Sigh.
    -I've been so overwhelmed with work lately, that my boss GAVE me a day off today…so why is she still e-mailing me? She's nuts if she thinks I'm ready any of those joints before Monday.
    -I just got paid, yet I'm poor. Being a grown-up sucks.
    -I love intelligent black folk. Me and my crew watched the debates with a bucket of chicken and took shots everytime we heard the words, "Maverick", 'Wasilla", "Bridge to nowhere", and "Alaska". Folks were passed out drunk by the end…I guess all that wasn't that intelligent, huh?
    -Did I mention I desperately miss sex?

  133. @Cuzzo
    "dry humping is OK. But, how long will it stay dry?"

    Cool, I can dry hump. I will worry about how long it stays dry later. On second thought I might have to dry hump with someone that will do the job but not too good.

    " “This is the season for the fly gear for us.”

    Word. Shout out to leathers, wool, black and brown shoes, and rugbys. Yes I still wear rugbys.

  134. "Me and my crew watched the debates with a bucket of chicken and took shots everytime we heard the words, “Maverick”, ‘Wasilla”, “Bridge to nowhere”, and “Alaska”.

    I MUST try this. Where can I see a rerun of this debate? It's the only way I'll watch.


    Noooo! Not Baldwin Hills. minus 1000 cool points for you.

  135. 8th wonder welcome I need your celibacy start date please!!

    Cuzzo lol im sorry I had a Palin moment and didn't separate my thoughts!!!

    I was speaking of this whole (Doing THE MOST) comment

  136. @cuzzo & 8th Wonder: "“Me and my crew watched the debates with a bucket of chicken and took shots everytime we heard the words, “Maverick”, ‘Wasilla”, “Bridge to nowhere”, and “Alaska”."

    Try drinking to how many times you hear her reference Americans…. I only watched it for about 30 minutes, but I kept hearing it!

  137. @Mikki
    "We are remaining STD and PREGGERS FREE!!!

    hey that should be our slogan"

    (In Bill Lumbergh in Office Space voice) um yeah. I think we are going to have to send you to the basement for that.

    That is corny. I dont think we need a slogan.

  138. 8th wonder you know I teach financial classes now, I could assist you for free compliments of the "Club"

  139. @Humble: "(In Bill Lumbergh in Office Space voice) um yeah. I think we are going to have to send you to the basement for that."

    And I'm gonna have to love ya for saying that. I'm over here crackin up!!!!! Love that movie.

  140. @Mikki

    "We are remaining STD and PREGGERS FREE!!!"

    That slogan would be kinda weak cuz you can be that way with the use of condoms and birth control (not 100%, I know, yadda yadda)

  141. @ Mikki: I've been celibate for a long, long time. *sobs*
    But damn, if the club has benefits like that, what's a little while longer gonna hurt?

  142. Humble ok fine!

    Renting "office space" and finding someone's tv to watch it on, is on my list of things to do this weekend, i heard that movie was pretty funny but i have never seen it.

  143. Office space is absoultly hiliarious… I've had a few TPS report moments.

    I love cold weather, makes for good cuddle time…

  144. @Tea: October weather in the North is nothing to be happy about. Haven't gotten on my bike in 2 weeks.

    @Humble: Dry hump for awhile … and go ahead and get you a lil wet humping too. All this celibacy is for the birds. Sure, you don't want that warehouse on the resume … but you can find you a nice temp position to add on there.

    @Cuzzo: As soon as ya'll feel it through the pants your ready? Good to know … now I can quit with all this foreplay and seduction business. Better hope my dad aint see that one though.

    @8th: I am officially starting the anti-celibacy club. Join me!

    @Mikki: You know this celibacy thing is overrated. Join the AC movement!

    @Jac: So your half out the club now??? Come on over here … you'll be welcomed with open arms.

  145. lmao 8th wonder ok I am gonna put you down for "long a*s time* and assume that means well over a year which would put you at the highest rank. Elite members get coffee cups so one time for you!!

    And yes our financial services are available just buzz me if you need some assistance.

    Cuzzo boohisss!!

    Who says the club can't have a meaningful purpose bawaahhaa!!

    I see I need to come up with some bilaws due to Humbles inability to stay on the straight and narrow.

  146. I want a new transition celibacy club…some of yall been in dis bytch since reconstruction…Im 5 months in. I need a kinda-celibate club…not celibate since the 2nd grade club.

    get me outta this long time burning torch club PRONTO.

    SBM I think T's fully clothed calendar is a good idea. Maybe we can do a hot blogger layout spread.

  147. SBM, shame on you! you know i'm a true sales person at heart and I believe in keeping my customers happy. Besides you can't offer anything better than what we got going and u can't keep up so try me if you want to!!

    stop trying to have your finger in all the honey jars!

  148. @SBM: Haha, I will not be swayed to the darkside! Must. Stay. Strong! If somebody even touches me the right way, I may go Jean Grey and turn into the Phoenix.

    @ Mikki: Yep, I'll be watching the mailbox for my cup. Thank ya much!

  149. See comeback I was just about to give you the starbucks gift certificate…..

    oh well Role call time!!!!

    8th Wonder – long ass time (over a year elite member)

    80's Baby – October 20, 2007

    Mikki – November 2007 (i just remember it being kinda cold out)

    Nicki – January 20, 2008

    Humble_One – February 2008

    Comeback Girl – May 2008 (canceled member due to pre A.D.D)

    QB – June 16, 2008

    Jac – Sometime in June 2008

    Given – Summer 2008

  150. For the anti-celibacy club I want a catchy name. I'm thinking of "Get it how you want it" club or the "By any means necessary" association.

    The motto might be "Even bungie jumping is safe when you use rubber!"

  151. That list is a DAYUM shame…this looks horrible..for real.

    I don't think we should be glorifying this shyt.

    Yeah I want out the club. Some of us need to be focusing on ACTIVELY attracting true love. And not dry vajay jays.


  152. Rant: I have on a dress, tights, and heels, on the skinny, side, about 3 1/2 to 4"…. I just had to move two boxes up two flights of stairs and I feel like I'm dying.

    Damn this ASSISTANT sh**. I do NOT work for Diddy.

  153. theres no way Im doing a calendar with all my clothes on.
    I work too hard and have come too far to get myself to look like this to not show it off. the black male body is beautiful

  154. ohhh Humble those are nice. The bottom one is my fav too. I love a nice well tailored man. Creases in his pants. A cute little cardigan over his button down.

    I wanna be somebody's Suga Mama (beyonce style)

  155. @Mik: I know that's right. I can't believe this old arse would even let me do it… sure I offered, but be a gentleman.. dude, You see that I'm a woman???!!!!

  156. Has any one ever taken thermogenics??? Wonder how they work… looking for a magical pill that makes me feel full.

  157. Im gonna single you out again comeback…

    im gonna insist you change your name and motto. you cant be making a comeback to love if your celebate….
    celebate and an angry black woman… is NOT helping the cause of black progression and black love.
    but then again if we go by the law of natural selection… i guess it does work out better that the people who are les scompatiable are not reproducing.

  158. @Nicki Sunshine
    "Has any one ever taken thermogenics??? Wonder how they work… looking for a magical pill that makes me feel full."

    My homegirl use to take them. She took xenadrine. They only work if you are working out.

  159. "Im gonna single you out again comeback…"

    what else is new!!! LOL…

    why not???? i don't wanna be having random [email protected] The whole point of making a comeback is about self reflection too. Working on being a kindler gentler sweeter comeback girl while still maintaining her love of the yaya sisterhood.

  160. Hasani sit yo ass down somewhere!!

    SBM that slogan might be the second funniest thing said on the site today…right behind why so's raining bailout and stimilus checks statement…but I'm all for the "getting laid to the side" club.

    Mikki, today your weirdness just seems to be shining through like a beacon.

    Jac, yeah that actually was for you ABOUT him…that nagga has no shame.

  161. Oh…I think I could handle him. SBM doesn't really scare me…his behavior can be appalling from time to time but nothing I can't deal with.

    Humble:I like them both…so a peacoat will be your Christmas gift.

  162. Sit my ass down? you my mom now AND my baby sister? I dun think so. your last name isnt the same as mine and as long as I am twice your size I dont think I will be taking directions from you any time soon little lady. respect "EVERYONE" as the rules of my homie SBM's site indicates 😉

    know your place

    Comeback: I feel your concern about random sex…. but sex is a necessary part of life and a necessary part of dating and saying no sex and no men you cant make the claim your making a comeback to love.

    your caught in that spot that many of your type get caught in, I always offer to help , but it comes out sideways and looks patronizing.

  163. SBM, i also pledge allegiance to the anti-celibacy club


  164. LOL @ Jac…damn girl…u really decided to go all in with that one huh.

    Nicki….NOOOOOO, don't do it. I think Hasani is the official pimp of this blog, he managed to collect half of the women's number on this blog.

    Humble: "DON'T DO IT"…coming from a dude that was funty as hell!!

    Mikki: wee ohh wee ohh wee…like a cop car.

  165. Teacia its Friday luv besides we all have our moments I just happen to not change my name when I have mine…..

    ok that was funny.

    Humble I am not making any promises Ok, if you can dry hump folks I certainly can look into my warehouse a little deeper.

    sike nawl he wears pink n purple shirts, is that gay or a sign of male err umm whats the word


  166. Mikki: "i just don't change my name when I do"


    Jac: lol…dont let him to get to you…it's friday baby girl!!!

    Mikki: ha ha ha ha ha ha on ur declaration against him having ur number…he doesn't have mine either.

  167. Girl…I am happy as a clam…He's the only person I want terminated from breathing. I am thinking about my weekend plans!!! I am going to have some fun and of course check the blog! IS anyone else checking on the wknd other than me, Mik, and Tea?

  168. @T: LOL at NOOOOOO. I'm seriously giggling my arse off. He's not gonna want me because I solumnly swear to the Celibacy Club.

    Jac: Ma'am. You can't listen to any more lil wayne today.

  169. @Mikki
    "Humble I am not making any promises Ok, if you can dry hump folks I certainly can look into my warehouse a little deeper."

    I say we have a deal. (extending my hand out for handshake)

    @All the Women – HNIC gets down like that? He has all of your numbers?

    On second thought if he has all of your numbers why is he on all of your heads like that. He should be pretty happy.

  170. ROTFLMAO Teacia thank you, thats going in the books right chea!

    lmao @ the lil wayne ban, thats just cruel.

    Yes Jac I check it like comeback checks the mic!

    lol comeback Teacia said half, and you are not half lol

    man that was funny

  171. Damn Eathan…how did you know that I was going to wish you a Happy 60th…LOL

    Happy Almost 40th instead!!! Hit me on the hip homie.

  172. @Humble
    "You like peacoats too? I thought that was some Detroit s**t."

    style is universal. *loves u forever* I like the first pic, maybe it's the color.

    y did I see this sexy indian? They are Asian too – even though we were talking about the other kind. The injuns can get it. I remember there was this dude in college I was in love with he was tall, had that nice skin, and these greenish, blueish eyes.

    Rant #3
    – So, my JO was supposed to come over tonight and who comes a knockin'? Aunt Flo – sometimes I hate that b!tch. And dude called me last night to come over and my half-sleep butt said nah. Note to self: Neva say nevahhhh, when heaven's knocking at your door

  173. @Comeback
    "apparently not all…i guess the rest of the men at SBM have the rest!!"

    I suppose. I'm not in that group

    "maybe becuz…he has no sex*ual exploits to fodder here.."

    You think so? Or is his game so tight that he can tell you how he feels about you and still get his fodder for his exploits?

  174. @Cuzzo: We don't have many injuns around this part but I can definitely see that… with that dark hair. (growls like Eartha Kitt)

    Not JO! Not Aunt Flo knockin! I'm cracking up.

  175. there is NO WAY I can read the 125,943 posts since i left…dammit me for wanting to be ambitious…ah well, here's the stuff i skimmed

    @Humble…LMAO @ the longitude and latitude…TOO DAM.N FUNNY. Oh and great point about men doing things one at a time, that makes a lot of sense…until you're the lonely a$$ 40 year old in the club watching the 25 year olds dance and wishing you culd touch their booties, LMBO…but I get it and I hope it works out.

    @Teacia…YES, YOU MUST GET LAID ON YOUR BDAY…it's in the constitution…i promise it is. You should spend every bday like you spent the first one, naked, screaming, and getting smacked on the a$$!!

    @Cuzzo…oooh chile, H&M is gonna be the death of me

    @No More Heroes…"Actually, I think you should try and get laid as many days of your life as humanly possible." dammit that's the way to think…you know, we should start two parties on this site…the celibates and the "pro-sexers"…what do you say, debate monday night at 9:00pm?

  176. rant:

    Dear sweet baby jesus 8lbs 6oz laying in the manger(wk cite Teena)…please tell me why these kids are not showing up for their damn appts…wasting my damn time, don't they know my top is still down and my leather is heating up…that shit is going to burn…well maybe not, I'm parked in the shade.

  177. @ hum

    yes brother [hulk hogan voice] peacoats and timberlands. the girlies can't resist them. it is scientifically impossible.

    @ bree

    lmao yo, you are funny. "naked, screaming and getting smacked on the ass" MWHAAHAHAHHA you have a sharp wit, i see

    @ celibacy club vs anti cel club – LET'S GO!!! I will break down all of the reasons why one should "get it in" as much as possible. 9 point "sexonomic stimulus plan"

    I am Why So Serious, and I approve this message.

  178. @Humble…HAHAHAHAHAHA..(deep breath) HAHAAHAHAHAHAH!!! Dry hump? Now that's just degrading…where is your manhood? OMG.

    Ya'll why did I see a tranny on the train during lunch that had the WORST body ever. He had on some low rise jeans with his a$$ crack showing and he had a tshirt tied up in the back so his stomach was out and boy was it out…it was out about 12 inches, he looked like he was 4 months pregnant and it was LITERALLY hanging over his jeans…just WRONG!

  179. @Why So: You had me spend the last 15 minutes on youtube looking for Dave Chapelle's BYAH skit. Sadly … this is the best I got … http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVJm1hsCYC0

    @Jac: Membership into the club come with a complimentary helping of "da bizzness". Because everyone in my club should be getting "da bizzness"

    @Mikki: Your club is cool for you and stuff … but all them damn rules. And then once your out … you can't come back in. What kind of exclusiveness is that. Here at SBM.net I am hear to promote inclusiveness … so everyone can join the AC movement and be free and happy.

    @Comeback: Thank you for seeing the this Celibacy nonsense for what it is … an attempt to leave dry coochies and hard dicks that are sad and dissapointed. Join the AC movement where "having your back broken is a good thing!".

    @HNIC: You actually have a point about sex being needed for a relationship and stuff. Who wants to buy a car without a test drive.

    @The Celibacy Club Women: Didn't ya'll watch Seinfield. Women (Elaine) get dumb and cranky without sex. Math becomes hard, decisions become impossible, and society suffers.

  180. @Bree: SHHHHEAATTTT. Not a tranny with a bad body! Isn't that even worse because he isn't SUPPOSED to be a woman. Sir, sir, I'm gonna need you to go back over to the right side.

    @T: Can we say a God fearing, loves his woman, non cheating, NFL player is my dream??? Seriously (asking GOD for him now!)

    I'm not a very good debator, so I will tap out, but I will tune in. 🙂

  181. "@The Celibacy Club Women: Didn’t ya’ll watch Seinfield. Women (Elaine) get dumb and cranky without sex. Math becomes hard, decisions become impossible, and society suffers."

    I don't know about all that…I know I'm hornier than a mug, though. Whew. That episode was hilarious, by the way.

  182. “@The Celibacy Club Women: Didn’t ya’ll watch Seinfield. Women (Elaine) get dumb and cranky without sex. Math becomes hard, decisions become impossible, and society suffers.”

    I can't stand Seinfeld so I know not what you speak of. So far, celibacy is good for me. Actually since school started, I'm too tired to think about sex and when I do, there's the magic bullet.

    If the right man comes around and we are in a relationship, then I may revoke the membership… but until then, I've given away too much free, unattached booty and gotten my feelings hurt, while in search for satisfaction, so I'm simply tapping out of the game.

  183. *rolling my eyes at the fact that i need to sexplain this 27 eleven times explain*

    SBM rules are part of society for a reason do i need to get on the podium and start talkin Palin slang?? AMERICA!!!!

    My take on this is if you coming "in and out" of the club that would be condoning some type of trickin n hoe'n around WHICH my members don't do. As comeback stated earlier which im not sure why she is changing the game now but this is NOT your smokers spot where u get to leave err 15 minutes n comeback on break.The president had no limits and you SEE where the country is headed.

    I am fully vested in the success of my members leaving hell I want to be first but we aren't going out on some one nighter fwb's, n throwbacks n whatnots. We doing it right, and I can't pretty much guarantee that when our members DO leave they will be f*cking someone one more than all of your members put together!!

    I need a mission statement to refer back to so i dont have to repeat myself.

    why so serious??

    Dave is on debt free scream fridays pay attention folks!

  184. On another note … I do not and will not check or proof read rants. If its between Monday and Thursday … feel free to call me out on it.

    On another note, when I wrote the rants … I actually was half drunk. Might have been one reason I talked about Palin so much. Honestly, I haven't even read over what I said … lemme go do that.

  185. Teacia:Why is my mother not appreciating me for not showing my ass in this white folk's establishment, because I just had to have a little talk with someone the other day about some ish I did last week. I had to explain that if I have a knife and you cross someone will get cut. I don't know why they fcuk with me.

  186. @Mikki
    "I am fully vested in the success of my members leaving hell I want to be first but we aren’t going out on some one nighter fwb’s, n throwbacks n whatnots."

    Hold up!!!, Hold up!!, Hold Up!!!. I didn't sign up for this? I could use a fwb. I just dont have the time to find a quality one. You need to broaden the reasons why some of us are in the ckub.

  187. @Mikki: While I admit that I am going to attempt to give up casual sex myself and make sure my resume is filled with only blue chips … I still no need to run around saying "No sex" and trying to wear it as a badge.

    I am (almost) always responsible with who I decide to sleep with … but why should I have my penis unhappy with me. When he goes to long … he just looks at me and frowns … and then I feel bad for him. Do you want a frowning Vajajay?

    So … as President and Founder of the Anti-Celibacy Movement … I preach healthy and active sex lives that degrade no one … but leave nothing but smiling faces, broken backs, and strong desires for cigarettes and sleep! (said with American flag waiving in the background).

  188. @Jac: I think so doll… I think we're waiting on the House to pass it. Or do I have this sass backward? Politics is not my shtick.

  189. lmao @ Humble sayin hold up.

    Humble sweety, dear, luv, boo boo, cupcake, if and when you find a reliable fwb for your own sake. Just let us know, im gonna need you to fill out some forms tho low key….

    lol ok that was a jokie jokie humble just cross over to the other side cuz im to tired to keep dealing with you exceptions to rules n thangs.

    SBM, you can put lipstick on a pig but by golly its still a pig!!

    in my famous bush voice "fool me once shame on me, fool me twice….. well you just can't be fooled twice"

    I bow out for today, its almost quit time.

  190. @Jac: Size requirement … what do I look like … a Man-pimp?

    All I can say is that members of the Anti-Celibacy Movement (ACM) will be satisfied. I do have a team of cunnilingus giving, baby arm having, throw you against the wall individual for all ladies waiting to defect.

    And for the men joining, we have Big Booty, Round breasted, deep throating, backshot taking (for you Humble) nymphos ready to welcome your membership.

    Come on everybody … you know you want to!

  191. Why yall got me sitting in the parking lot with the sun blazin on my head reading this nonsense…and Jac my daughter gives me very little if any problems…ummmm, I've heard you talk to you mother…just be happy she didn't poison that chicken the last time you were home…lol.

  192. @SBM
    "And for the men joining, we have Big Booty, Round breasted, deep throating, backshot taking (for you Humble) nymphos ready to welcome your membership."

    Ugh. Why must you torture me. Are you sure the women in the club are Big Booty, Round breasted, deep throating, backshot taking nymphos? Is their a member directory?

    @Mikki – I'm still down for now.

  193. "just be happy she didn’t poison that chicken the last time you were home…lol"



    When I see cute kids, it makes me want to have one.. Post haste. Gotta go pick up my little girls soon. I miss them, they're not mine but i get to pretend a little while.

  194. @Humble: Did I forget to mention they got strong backs and rosewater coochies (for your dining pleasure)?

    I'm trying to get some that will get up afterwards and make you a sandwich … but if I can do that one … screw ya'll … I'm having an orgy!

  195. re: SBM "@ Humble: Did I forget to mention they got strong backs and rosewater coochies (for your dining pleasure)?"

    I think I just fell out of my damn chair!

  196. My rant –
    I get pissed at folks complaining about the government and never bothering to vote

    I love coming by your blog…but you got too much going on in your comment sections LOL

    I hate when Ex – whatevers call and expect you to be sitting around thinking about them

  197. @MzNewy: "I love coming by your blog…but you got too much going on in your comment sections LOL "

    Feel free to join in at any time. It's Tourettes around these parts… fun stuff.

  198. "rosewater coochies"

    uh yea let me see this directory list you promisin to folks, you bout bad as Mcaine!!!

    stop the madness!!

  199. @Mikki: You saying I can't deliver … cause I'll make it happen. When a man is sexually satisfied and motivated … he can take over the world.

    You think Barack would have gotten where he is if Michelle wasn't putting it on him with a vengeance. I mean … I think she is pulling out all kinds of stops to make sure that man is happy, energized and motivated!!!

    Let the rosewater flow …

  200. @SBM where do we sign up for the ACM. "All I can say is that members of the Anti-Celibacy Movement (ACM) will be satisfied. I do have a team of cunnilingus giving, baby arm having, throw you against the wall individual for all ladies waiting to defect." —is that a guarantee??

  201. @SBM

    "N***a … you tryin to get me fired!"

    LMAO! why was that so funny? I'll take one of those back-breakin men please. I'll be out there in 2 weeks. Be available.

  202. @Indiana Jones: I will admit … the "fleet" is only reserved for 5-star platinum members, but I will be releasing the requirements shortly. Gotta run some things through legal (apparently it could be misconstrued as prostitution and DC has had enough problems with that).

    @Cuzzo: Sorry … Alpha haters don't get none!

  203. Note to self: you don't come to midafternoon kids movies with ur kids because they are apparently a whole gang of other kids that aren't yours that are there well.

    Sitting in this damn theatre waiting on Beverly Hills Chiwawa in HD(the shit btw) to kick off…and I'm surrounded by other people's children…not a good look.

    But I think my daughter loves me just a little bit more today…she even said to me "momma I want to be a good children every day"…yes her grammar was a bit off bit it warmed my heart.

    SBM: you's a damn fool…and didn't I tell you NOT to be using my nickname in public boy…naggas.

  204. Did I mention that my little got all 100's on her exams….yeah I'm gushing with pride…so much so that not even Hasani's simple minded ass could steal my joy.

    And to answer your question trust that it was so good that the only thing twisting that was my…oh shit the movie's starting.

    Later yall…have a good weekend all, you too Sani baby. 😉

  205. @SBM…thanks for the kind description, have you met somebody that knows me…HAHAHA

    @Humble…you can double dip all you want to…in fact, take as many dips as you need

    @Why so…are you just now realizing that? LMAO

    YAY for the ACM!!! You got my vote! In fact, I'm going to make it my patriotic duty to "vote" every night between now and when my sweetie leaves to go back to NJ! I'm so down for the cause!

  206. 1) Where did the hustler spirit go in today's young folks? My older brother and I are selling Obama gear and he's telling me of folks that are copping them in order to sell them for a profit. I try to entice folks with that idea, and they're SUPER-iffy. Everyone seems to be very comfy just working their 9-5 scraping by.
    2) I'm looking for some good food this wkend. Maybe duck is on the menu for me
    3) My diet sucks. I've had Ramen noodles, Burger King, and chocolate as my main dinner this past week. At least I've got vitamins to fall back on
    4) Palin did a decent job with her talking points and skirting the questions. Biden got in that ass tho, and came off very well.
    5) Why am I always left to make social plans? I need a new crew for real

  207. @comeback
    "Not focusing on dray vajay jays" girl you crack me up.

    I am seriously not focusing on dry vajay jays i am just not focusing on wet ones… while i am a member of the club if i get a chance ima take it… i just have rules now where as i didnt use to (okay i had some but not many).

    More rants for the day…

    8. my head hurts. BAD.
    9. one of the programs i need to do my job isnt working so i am getting no where. this will lead to OT next week but it's frustrating in the meantime.
    10. my head hurts

  208. Teacia I been weird gal where u been at???

    Comeback who ya gonna call? “O” or “A”???

    im just sayin….

    you might wanna hang out here until you get cha mind right. Don’t chu got some fang sang to do!!!

  209. @SBM
    Maybe that just happens to me. If he’s packin…watch out deh now. And, your dad and I already talk about EVERYTHING – we cool like that.

  210. @Breelicious – I hope it works out too. I have a feeling I will meet somebody sooner than I think. I’ll be damned if I’m that dude. In the mean time I got to find somebody to dry hump.

  211. Bree: not the constitution, lol…and SBM has already decided to start an anti-celibacy club.

    Ok so check it, this manager whpo works here at the school board asks me out err single Friday that I’m here and this time he said he had club tickets to the Steelers vs Jags game Sunday night…oh how I want to go to the game…just not with him. Why can’t me and my girls have tickets or something.

    *begins declaration*

    NEXT YEAR we’re becoming SEASON ticket holders…we love football too much to….oh wait Nikki C is dating a Jag…let me get back to yall.

  212. Bree: not the constitution, lol…and SBM has already decided to start an anti-celibacy club.

    Ok so check it, this manager who works here at the school board asks me out err single Friday that I’m here and this time he said he had club tickets to the Steelers vs Jags game Sunday night…oh how I want to go to the game…just not with him. I not really interested although I do find his persistence flattering. Why can’t me and my girls have tickets or something.

    *begins declaration*

    NEXT YEAR we’re becoming SEASON ticket holders…we love football too much to….oh wait Nikki C is dating a Jag…let me get back to yall.

  213. @Breelicious
    “…HAHAHAHAHAHA..(deep breath) HAHAAHAHAHAHAH!!! Dry hump? Now that’s just degrading…where is your manhood? OMG.”

    Yeah I know. The Celibacy Club says I can’t get some and come back into the club. It’s some B.S.

    “I can’t approve this message with the pea coat. There are other shoes black men 30 and over can wear. I approve those alternative shoes”

    Nothing wrong with timbs. I like mephisto, johnston and murphy, and ecco too.

  214. Well I’m off to pick up the kid and take her to a movie or something…she’s been on all green again for the past 2 weeks and is deserving of her mother’s appreciation for not showing her ass in those white folk’s establishment.

    Are there even any kid watching movies out right now…seeing as how she attends a Christian academy my guess is that Religouless is out, lol.

  215. Teacia:I see he doesn’t. Damned shame, but at least he doesn’t act like he’s God’s gift to the American black woman a la someone else we know.

  216. It's fucking tuesday and i am going to throw in the towel and yell.
    My Rants.
    -I fucking hate women now..with a passion.
    Truely, one woman can make a motherfucker like me hate all.
    I mean what the fuck one has to do to please this fucking creatures…… they are more evil than devil itself. Behind all the beauty and makeup, wanting to impress guys is for scraps. fucking forbiding fruit that men has chosen to consume. And they say you can't do with them……….like butter for my bread……..
    I might just eat my bread dry.
    I don't even know where to start from………
    I mean what the f………..!

  217. Antidater, I would respond to your post today but the comment field is closed, so here's my response. If it opens up then I'll cut and paste on your post.

    Anyhoo –

    SBM – Good topic (wish I could comment on the actual post though…smile)

    Antidater – I agree with this statement "Thus, the black woman is raised to be an Alpha woman – independent, educated, successful."

    First let me talk about women being independent. She has to be. If she waited around on a man to do something for her, it wouldn't get done. Why should she be waiting on a man to do something when he is not her husband anyway (isn't that what y'all say….shouldn't she be paying her own way…I think that's the consensus of what some of the men have been saying…if she waits on you to pay the way, y'all label her a golddigger.)

    I disagree with this statement "She don’t need a man!"

    Absolutely not true. Just because a woman is an Alpha female/independent, it does not mean she doesn't need a man (one exception–she's gay). Most women know how to let a MAN BE A MAN. The issue is a lot of men aren't being men. They have adopted non-Alpha ways. I can guarantee that if a woman meets the right man she has no problem letting him be the ALPHA man as you would put it. An Alpha man doesn't have a problem taking control—and control isn't a negative thing. An Alpha woman doesn't have a problem letting the RIGHT man take control.

    All an Alpha man needs to do is MAN UP and all is right with the world 🙂


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