There is one place well known as a safe haven for all men. It’s a place that we can all retreat too, usually in groups … a place where we can bond, talk, and catch up without interuption from the women in our lives. It’s a place where we can relax and truly be ourselves and ponder our meaning on this earth and the true meaning of our existance. Yes … this glorious place for ages has provided men with a great refuge and has helped us keep our sanity.
At this point you might be wonderin what I’m tlaking about. It’s not a male retreat in the woods, it’s not the local sports bar, and it’s not the basement of your friends house. While all those places are important to us, I am talking about somewhere much more fundamental to your average Single Black Male.
Yes … I am talking about the Strip Club … aka … The Shake Joint
I love the strip club! I don’t go weekly or anything crazy like that, but I couldn’t see me going a full year without at least one visit. And besides allowing me to make contributions to the SBM College Fund, there are a plethora of reasons for a visit with the boys.
So … Lets examine what makes the strip club so great.
Best Place for Male Bonding
Since it seems every black woman has a huge issue with homophobia with Down Low brothas and super jealous females … we have to be careful about where we go out. If you go chill at your boy’s house … you two might be getting that “thug luvin.” If you go to a sports bar, your trying to pick up new women (to the jealous type). But the strip club … your not likely to take the stripper home … and you can’t be gay if your putting a dollar in between some woman’s butt cheeks. So now you can bond … without feeling soft.
Titties Make the Perfect Backdrop
Whether its a business pitch, asking someone to be your best man, or catching up with your brother about the family … titties make a good backdrop for any type of conversation. Especially with the classier clubs.
Figure Out What Works
Where else can you view a smorgasbord of women of various body types, races, hair styles, and make-up in one place without fear of looking too hard or too long. If you’ve ever wondered what type of women you really like … head on down to your local strip club and try a few out. Onion booty not smackable enough … lets get you a tear drop. Triple D’s won’t fit in your hand … lets get you into some nice C’s. Firm butt doesn’t ripple like you think it should … how about a chunky one.
I don’t care what anyone says … strippers have great conversation (depending on the club). They often have real interesting lifes, crazy stories to tell, are good listeners, have crazy life experiences, and can always end things with “poor baby … go head and cup my ass”. What more can you ask for?
The strip club I frequent plays all the dirty south music I love. I can sit down, have me a drink, and just relax.
No Need for a Button Up
If you go out to a club or want to enjoy a saturday night, the strip club is one of the few places (around here) where you don’t have to dress up (besides the hood clubs). You can throw on a black t-shirt, some Levi’s, a pair of New Balances, and go have you a good ass night.
The Table’s are Turned
One of the most compelling reasons to hit the strip club is that its one of the few places where life is reversed when it comes to men and women. Not that I don’t love the chase or that I’m lazy, but I can’t help but smile inside when I see the dejected stripper sitting down after getting turned down by 5 guys. Maybe I’m a spiteful asshole bit sadistic … but it’s nice to be on the other side every once in awhile.
This applies to club I go to and spots that can be found in DC, PG and Baltimore. Strip Clubs in the south are real different. Also, the price point of my local spot (Free entry on weeknights and $5 dances any day) makes it a resonable chill spot. Ain’t no “making it rain” and that bullsh*t.
If you haven’t been in awhile … go enjoy yourself and take a break. Women have pedicures, massages, and spa’s … we got ass & titties … pamper yourself!