Prototypes of Beauty

Tyra Banks: An Angel
Tyra Banks: An Angel

“Man … she’s sexy as hell”
“What are you talking about … she’s OK”
“She got a$$, perfect breasts, and some sexy legs”
“Her face is jacked, and she just got on some low cut stuff showing her titties off”
“You telling me you wouldn’t smash?”
“Yeah … but I wouldn’t let her set foot in my Dad’s house.  She is smash only!”
“She looks like a Buffy The Body”
“Yeah … a low budget version.  Gimme Tyra any day!”

This one is for the women …

Ever wonder why guys don’t take you serious?
Ever wonder why guys always seem willing to take you home for the night, but not out to dinner?
Ever wonder why you always hear “your so sexy … lemme just stick a finger in that a$$” instead of “your so beautiful … I wanna drink your bathwater”?

Well … your appealing to the wrong “prototype”.  Let me explain.  Come close … looka here …

When it comes to judging sexiness, prettiness, and beauty … we have 3 main prototypes we judge against.  Being classified in the wrong group can be detrimental to your goals … and we don’t want that.

So … SBM presents to you … The Three Prototypes of Beauty (from least respectable to most)

See Also:  The Dating Middle Class: Are We Ignoring the 47 Percent?

The Porn Star

The Porn Star is the ultimate incarnation of sex.  She isn’t always pretty, and might not be beautiful in the classic sense … but she represents the perfect f*ck.  Her body is built for perfect sex.  That differs for each man (a big booty, breasts perfect to grab, nipples made for sucking, a strong backside … whatever) … but it represents everything that makes sex enjoyable.  It is a body built for function … not necessarily something to watch and behold … but something you grab and “enjoy”.

The Stripper

A stripper is built to be visually appealing … nude.  She represents everything that we find sexy … maybe beautiful too … but sexy is key.  Just looking at will have our “nature rising”.  No part of her is imperfect.  She smells good, hair is perfect, make up is immaculate, her clothes hug her in all the right places.  This person is just sexy through and through … she doesn’t make you think about taking her to dinner, or meeting your parents … but she is just a sight to behold.  You could also call this one the “video ho”.

The Angel (aka The Mother)

She embodies beauty.  You see her and you damn near lose your breathe.  You don’t think about smashing or sex, your mind doesn’t think about “I wonder how she would look naked swinging on a pole” … no … you think about her birthing your children, meeting you parents, and moving behind that white picket fence with you.  She is wifey!  She can’t be too sexy … because then you would just think of sex all the time … she is just the right balance.  Perfect …

See Also:  Why Looks Matter.

So … those of you walking around looking like a stripper, or with that Porn Star appeal to you … that’s why men keep throwing dollar bills at you and aren’t trying to put a ring on your finger (well … you know its more complicated than that …).

Crossing categories isn’t hard.  Although some “strippers” will never be angels  … and some angels couldn’t be “porn stars” even if they tried … it can be done.  And don’t think we don’t marry strippers … and even a porn star can be made into a housewife … but that’s not the goal.

One day I’ll find my angel …


  1. FIRST!!

    OK brother black, I will co-sign on the "theory" about different ways and types of attractive.

    I disagree however with the types.

    Sexy: A person who you are motivated by your loins in your degree of attractiveness towards them. weather it be body stance or face, this is a person you will usually think about 😉 Examples would be: Sara Palin or Daniel Craig

    A beautyful person: Good looks, plain and simple. The woman who would win a beauty contest and the man who you would see on the cover of GQ. Sometimes this beauty carries over in place of just good looks by the overall elegance of the person. IE: Michelle Obama and Phylissa Rashaad are both a tad old but the way they both speak and carry themselves enhance their looks and overall attractiveness.
    Examples: Naomi Campbell, Idris Alba

    The person who is good looking but has a adoring quality to them. most of the time it is not sexual. Im not articualte enough at the moment to expound on this.. sorry.
    Examples: Halle Berry, Chris Brown

  2. I understand and agree with the idea of the theory but I'm leaning more to HNIC's theory more. I think this could be the biggest mistake women do in their clothing and overall approach towards men.

    It's like when you go to a club and a girl is dressed like a ho, dancing like a ho, has a certain ho appeal but is trying to be an angel when you meet her. Now I'm not saying that if you dress as a ho you got to get down but it definitely is confusing to the men in the room. I can't be dressed like a bum on the street but want to be respected as a business man. You got to dress the part.

  3. @T. Marie: Not at all! Like Johnny said, if you look like a porn star and my major motivation is sex … that's a lot different than the angel who I want to birth my kids.

    @Johnny & HNIC: I can agree with the sexy vs. beauty, but cute to me just means kinda beautiful or kinda sexy. To say the great Halle Berry is merely cute is damn near criminal. And why are you rating guys??? Chris Brown … ???

  4. I was just talking to a friend about this the other day! I usually wear my hair in a BIG curly fro- whenever I succumb and straighten my hair I get much more attention but the quality of guys is pretty low as are their intentions… Maybe its your prototypes at play?

  5. no way on the "cute" thing. thats totally a category of woman AND man as well. derek jeter and jessical alba are cute people but they are both HIGHLY attractive.

    Why do I rate guys? hey… I have no problem classifying men as handsome and cute or whatever. but Miss ER was helping me write the post this morning so those are her suggestions… so its ok!

    and as for halle berry. shes very good looking, but in the cute range. Halle is a 10 but a 10 cute, but then you have Meggan Fox who is just as good looking as halle berry but your not gonna look at Meggan Fox and say "wow shes cute" your gonna say DIZZAAAMN!!!

  6. quark. I myself am a lover of straight hair but am dating a woman whose whole model pitch is her nitche with her "natural" hair. I cant stand her hair LOL
    its not "prototypes" or stereotypes, its just what looks cute to the brothas out here and what we like. has nothing to do with keepin it real, gettin back to our slave roots or selling out to the white mans look or whatever.
    cuz up here all the white chicks have perms anyway and dark hair. so thats not the "white look" anymore.

    but as for how a woman is dressed?
    Im in another age bracket, so I dunno how I comment. Im not exactly seeing thigh high boots and a mini skirt wit the thong hanging out the top in the places I go. but the way a woman is dressed wont always equal how she is. I run into a ton of women dressed to attract a man but when you go up to them they are icy and unreceptive and not brite and vibrant. They are just out to "look fabulous" I spoke of these types of sistas before… and called them "sirens"

  7. Good post, those categories are the same ones I break it down into. I tell women sometimes you can be cute but not sexy, sexy but not beautiful, etc.

  8. I was walkin to mickey d's behind some young girls I didn't know

    One girl had a very short short skirt and low cut blouse and found a man staring..had the nerve to say "ilk what you lookin at"

    Im like "YOU putting it all out there..the hell u expect"

    I now know that you get treated based on how you carry yourself (and please note I do not mean its okay for you to get "violated" or "disrespected" based on your actions and or no means do I say anyone deserves any type of violence or disrespect)


    now, if you are out and about and you got all ur tiddies poppin out, and the tightest jeans on you can find, you sending a clear message that "I am available for sex"
    Sadly, some women think that showing body parts = sexy (I used to be one of them)

    You can be sexy without showing that much skin…you dont even have to show it at all

  9. I agree with the concept but I feel that there should be more categories. You didnt leave much room between the stripper and the porn star. What about the ugly chick who is the sweetheart who will cook, clean, cut yo toe nails, pay ur car note and do your mama's grocery shopping? What about the chick that is bad but not straight sexy but she stuck up too, you know she would look good on ur arm.

  10. 1.I think The porn,video vixen, stripper is all one category. They are "selling" sexiness..their job is to get you to want to eff them.

    ex: buffie the body, angel lola luv, kim kardashian (so what I put her in here..she dont have nothing else to offer but booty), vida guerra.

    2. The angel to me is the wifey..but IMO she's too perfect. they are great on paper and look perfect(not necessarily beautiful). But doesn't have much sex appeal. She may not be cute or pretty..but she will have her spit all together. (halle berry, beyonce, tyra banks, oprah winfrey, kim porter)

    3. Then you have the all arounds….they have sex appeal, good on paper, and a personality. They aren't just "cute and perfect wife material" and they aren't just "sexy screw me" material. they also aren't always beautiful Ex: sanaa lathan, jada pinkett, nia long, angelina jolie, angela bassett, kelly rowland.

    There are more categories

    The ghetto fab good girl that you love but are embarassed to admit to it (keyshia cole)
    The stuck up model girl who you only want to screw cause its a challenge(naomi campbell)

    feel free to disagree with my examples

  11. hnic

    im a little ignant when it comes to natural hair sometimes

    some times it really just doesn't look good in a dry fro

    get some twists or lock it or something or keep it short

  12. I think women do use categories and list and all types of foolishness lol. Also, if you look at the list, you can see that there is a large difference in each person's list/category that maybe its useless to try use it on a grand scale. B/c I know ninjas that would wife Kim K or Angel Lola Luv in a heart beat.

  13. true peyso

    kim k bout to get married now



    I can honestly say that I put men in categories..but only when I hear they live with they momma to "help her out with bills"


  14. The bad part about this is that when we're young, let's say you're the "angel" type, you get passed over or put to the side a lot because guys just aren't ready to be married or even commited to one woman. When you have a abundance of "pornstar" "stripper" types always walking around looking irresistable and willing to do whatever, guys just want to experience that s*** for a while (ie. up until their mid to late 30s). I can be the right woman, but if it's not the right time, then it doesn't even matter.

  15. another good point fly

    I had low self esteem for years for not being the porn star type…often turned down cause I wasn't built like i could carry a dinner tray on my ass

    as I got older I realized that I didn't want to be looked at only for how well I can accomidate your fantasy in the bedroom and I began to value myself for my other attributes as well as realize that I am worth more than a few body parts.

    and I think SBM made an point to me that made me recently open my eyes up even more …I had questioned whether us physically challenged people should take a magic pill (chicken pills) or save up and get surgery to enhance ourselves so that we are more "marketble". He said something along the lines that if someone is into you its not because of your body and he would only want you to enhance your beauty to make you some kinda trophy

    Im a "slim goody" and I accept that now…lol

  16. Where are all the ladies at?? *cricket chirp*

    I get the general concept, even if folk may quibble on how the categories should be broken down. I have a rule of thumb when I dress "sexy" that I will only accentuate the top OR the bottom…. not both at any given time, as not to look like a hoochie. But I do use my attire as a screening mechanism…. if you're not feeling the locs to the middle of my back and the knee length wrap dress with fishnets, you're not going to feel the rest of me either (literally or figuratively).

    There's also something to be said for demeanor….I've been told that my friends and I have great mojo (i.e. sexual energy) without coming off slutty. But that's something you either got or you don't.

  17. When I wrote this … I was trying to stick to simply looks and not take into account personality or "stats". That's why things like "she looks good on paper" don't really come into play.

    Also … these are the prototypes. Descriptions of perfection. So their extreme cases.

    I didn't think about mixing and matching though. And there is a lot of overlap between Stripper and Porn star. Generally speaking … a body built for sex is good to look at … but not always.

  18. my bad sbm

    so this is all based on outward appearances

    My question is..

    when they look at women based on appearance is it the clothes or the body or the face or all of the above

    like …im confused

    u look at nia long and say "she marriage material" based on what ?

    and you look at Buffie the body and say she a effable based on what?

  19. Da Bruhz love you too Fly…
    And I promise you would introduce the Ivy League Ques to yo mama lol jk.
    No mention of Sigmas or Iotas hahaha

    and to true you asked:
    "when they look at women based on appearance is it the clothes or the body or the face or all of the above"

    It's a combo of all of them but one can outweigh others. Its the law of averages, meaning that they could suck in one area and still average out to be beatable or wifeable. I've seen ppl with some serious buttaheads in the past and with some skinny stick girls with a pretty face and can dress her arse off. And then there is the girl who is bad as hell but you only see her in sweats and a baggy T.

  20. SBM and Peyso


    Oh yeah I strive to be the angel..well I dont think I have a choice being tho I dont have much in the ass and tiddies department..used to wish I was the stripper type..but not so much anymore…I have a cousin who is the stripper type and I hate the disrespect she gets (actually she is a stripper)

    plus im gorgeous so…


  21. Fly me too!

    Peyso:I have seen TWO Iotas my whole life, I thought, like Centaurs they were some kinda legend.

    Ques…kinda scare me a bit in that pick you up put you on my shoulders eat you out in the party type of way, now an Omega man can be one of the sexiest things ever and he's husband material too.

    Sigmas are good, although…they're *whispers* secret freaks too 😉

  22. Peyso: "Da Bruhz love you too Fly…
    And I promise you would introduce the Ivy League Ques to yo mama lol jk."

    Ivy League Ques=Omega Men. I won't type out my feelings nor fantasies here. Just know that they can get it ("it" being whateva you like, conversation, marriage, late night sex so wet and so tight..)

    Peyso: "No mention of Sigmas or Iotas hahaha"

    The who?…lol

  23. I need to read these post slower, I thought true was a brotha. My pardon sista. I think it was the day you were relating to havin problems findin work which never seems to be a problem for a sista and always a problem for us :p

    OK now that I only have 1 job reading m…u..c…h.. s..l..o..w..e..r..

  24. true said You can be sexy without showing that much skin…you dont even have to show it at all

    see I cant quite put my finger on what qualifies as what. I have met women who are ugly but still generate high amounts of sex appeal. I have met women who will doll themselves up to be slutty as they wanna try to be and have ass and titties but still come out in the cute side…. drew berrymore comes to mind. I myself try hard to look suave and cutesy but I always get "sexy" or "scrumptious" or some other sexual term NOT meaning good lookin 😐
    I dont think you can change categories either, cuz I have been complaining about my category for the longest time. Im a black johnny Depp not Jake Steed damnit!!!!

  25. I am always interested in the male perspective of women. Believe it or not, lots of women know this already, even the ones who wear their dresses at what I call "advertising length."

    One thing I think you could have added here, often times people have sex appeal regardless of how they look or which category they fall in. Some people just got it. Male and Female.

    Hmm. Good thing I know where I fall on the list. *brushes dust off left wing.



  26. True: I think sex appeal is not something that can be learned in the traditional sense but is something that can be developed. I think we all know people who went from unsexy, nerd to sexy, siren. I also think that there are events that could make a person sexy too. I know girls who after the first time became sexy or after they pledged, they crossed and became more sexy in the way they acted.

    AngelBaby: I got you dont worry lolol

  27. @ Quark: I agree with you on the hair thing… most guys don't approach me when my hair is curly but if I wear my hair straight or back in a nice sleek ponytail I have a hella huge male fan club that comes outta nowhere!!

    @ Fly: My guy classification is also based on the Greek system. Although I never dated too many Ques… they kinda scared me like they would cause me to do some things I would regret!! I have though always been attracted to the Nupes and Alphas…

    When I was in college in Atlanta the guys at Morehouse had a classification for chicks based on what school they went to:
    Spelman= Wives
    Clark Atlanta= Girlfriends
    Morris Brown= Freaks
    I didnt go to any of the schools so anytime I came across a Guy from Morehouse I always asked what was my classification….

  28. @ Peyso. I think you can grow into sex appeal, not learn it. I definitely grew into what I am now, from un-sexy nerd, (and low key I am still very much a nerd). My point is I definitely didn't learn to do anything, I just grew (meaning: life experiences grew, pretty much always been shaped how I am now)..

    Grown into or not, it's either you got it, or you don't with sex appeal. It's not something I think you can study and adopt. Sex appeal just reaks on some people and some of those people have no clue they have it like that.

    Sexy though, you can put that shit on and take it right on off. Clothes are sexy. Cologne smells sexy. Its purchasable. You can dress sexy and not have sex appeal.


  29. Bam:You are absolutely right. Sex appeal is either there or it's not. For me, I can remember being in my mid teens and having people tell me how sexy I was and I'm like I'm 15, then my mom was like you know honestly you just do things in such a manner even I see it…honestly I have no idea what I do or how I do it, but I'm glad people like it.

    Peyso:And what do you have for me?

  30. Just need it to be known that this is an ALPHA house.

    Que's are welcome and whatnot … but just needed to let that be known.

    Where's my Phrat Mr. Swagger …

  31. Im mad at you true. you say everything I said yesterday, about disagreeing with the list…. but when you disagree nobody calls you an asshole. ya I guess its cuz your a girl… umm and I actually AM an asshole 😀

    no you cant GROW sex appeal, you got or you dont. you can become attracted to someone but sex appeal is something that would be more general. No matter how old nia long gets shes still such a cutie. no matter how old ertha kit gets… friggin 70 years old and girl still generates a certain amount of sex appeal. same with joan collins.

    see what I did there, I named 1 black woman, 1 half black woman and one white woman.. just so nobody would feel insecure 😉

  32. Ms Devereuax: “Interesting post. Do you think women put men in categories like this?”

    Of course. My categories are classified as Greeks though, even if the dude never finished high school.

    The Que: Sex appeal, BDSwagger, guaranteed good night. I dated 2 ques in college (they both pledged about a year after we met, but they were born with the que mentality). My mom came up to my campus one sunday afternoon, and I saw my current que and I he came up to me and it was awkward because I wouldn’t introduce him to my mom.

    The Kappa: He looks good, he dresses nice, he’s nice arm candy in social situations because of his good looks, charm, and intelligence. Long term material? Nah, he plays too much. His eyes wander too much, and between the other women and his mirror, you just don’t have the time.

    The Alpha: Good all around. Mr. Congeniality. Looks good on paper. Not fine, but wholesome good looks and blazer game proper. Husband material, but you won’t give him the time of day in college, because you’re preoccupied chasing gold boots.

    At least this is my system.

  33. @True: Its hard to explain. The metro is always a good prooving ground for this type of thing. I saw a couple women who were just real gorgeous, but in a toned down way and were on their way to work. That’s the angel.

    Then I might come across some big titties popping out of a top. Nothing more … u know … ok face and maybe a lil ass … but nothing special. Thats the porn star … cause I think about sex.

    The Stripper will be the one in vicious make up, phatness up top and down below, and makes me embarrassed in my slacks. She makes you think about sex too … but she is also a sight to behold.

  34. Peyso:Oh really now? I’m with fly on this one…you can whatever like…dinner, dessert…whipped cream, whips…whatever…We can do the damn thing…whenever, wherever and however.

  35. hnic

    LMAO!!!! man they thought they lit my arse on FIRE yesterday..I think they hated on me more than you …so I don't know what you are talkin about :p

    accusing me of trying to get with SBM and some more, calling me rude and what not

    lol..all because i didn't agree with their list and according to them…didn't disagree "nicely" whatever that means

  36. What's ironic about this post is that if a woman likes sex and feels comfortable enough to take that step with a guy she is dating, she could easily be put in the porn star/stripper category. This is why I think women shouldn't sleep with a man unless they have a solid commitment. Shoot I think celibacy is a blessing because I truly believe if a guy likes you as a person and doesn't want to use you a cum deposit, he will wait. It's so easy to be placed in the stripper/slut/porn star category regardless of you are a very nice young woman doing big things. Women have to walk a fine line especially if they want to be valued as someone worthy of being a wife. However our behavior does dictate how a man treats us. Call it old fashion but the truth is the truth. Sleep with a man too soon and he will question your chastity and how many other brothers got to "beat it up". I think for now one women really need to have high expectations and let a man prove himself before allowing him certain privileges such has having your body.

  37. Muse…good post but i have to offer something extra

    Some advice to the general public reading this

    please just live your life..dont live your life to get a man or become a wife. Dont stress too much about how you "look" to the meat market so you can get a man to marry you…MEN SURE DONT

    just do you, be happy, do stuff that you love without being reckless or that you will regret in the long run. Get to know yourself. Your dislikes and your likes. What you enjoy doing. If you spend too much time trying to be "marriage material" , you dont realize who you are after you got married and end up trying to figure it out when its too late

    thats it

    I long gave up that a long time ago

    on the other hand..I think you should really consider the person you sleep with and wait if you feel like you want to wait….if you vibe on the first "date" and you want to bump it …to each his/her own..

    But no man's penis controls how I feel about myself..nor does my vagina define me or my worth as a woman..i have alot more to offer than my damn chastity

    only an immature man would even THINK that because a woman doesn't want to wait to have sex she is a slut or easy IMO… means that who she is as a person isn't as important as how many men she slept with. this belief is very barbaric trailing back to the mysoginistic days of when women didn't have a voice and weren't allowed an opinion..all the had was their cooch as something of value…aren't we more advanced as a human race now?

    now im not saying that men should wife up the hookers on 14th street because they are "good people" but you guys get my drift

    FYI..every serious relationship I have had including marriage I had sex rather quickly

  38. @True -> Bump Uglies, I promise you I thought my mother was the only person who said that!! LOVE IT!!

    @Muse, you wrote, "What’s ironic about this post is that if a woman likes sex and feels comfortable enough to take that step with a guy she is dating, she could easily be put in the porn star/stripper category."
    I agree and it's a shame. Woman are made to feel some kind of way for enjoying sex. These are the same men who need sex 2 times a day, 6 days a week. They marry the good girl in hopes they can turn her @SS out. And I'm not saying all you guys run out and wife you a ho, but sheesh be realistic in who you decide to spend the rest of your life with in every area of your relationship and don't just toss us in a box because a chic may have too much of one and not enough of the other.
    It is important to have that woman who can hold down your home, family etc. while supporting you in your career yet pull out that pole after the kids are fed & put to bed…

  39. redbone

    I know guys who get the prude in the bedroom and yup…go cheat with "the stripper"

    just get you someone who possess all the qualities you need

    and not just have what you THINK you should want

  40. @Muse: "What’s ironic about this post is that if a woman likes sex and feels comfortable enough to take that step with a guy she is dating, she could easily be put in the porn star/stripper category."

    Yeah but thats nothing. What really matters is if YOU put yourself in that category. People are going to think what they want to think regardless.

  41. Afternoon, my 1st comment here so please be gentle 🙂 I’ve read alot of great comments, what gets me is men will put us ladies in these categories then when they find their “Angel” who does look good on paper, and after the honeymoon period, some men get bored and begin having affairs with “Stripper” & “Porn Star” when in reality they should’ve just stayed with their “Ghetto Fab Good Girl” who was a nice balance of the 3. She may have been a little rough around the edges but still, that’s probably the one that made you the most happy.

    I’ve seen alot of marriages where the man steps out on his “good girl” wife because when the bedroom door closes they find out she’s still a lady, and “you want to put that where?” Then when the sex dwindles down to two nights a week MAYBE, when you know you’re a 6 nights a week kinda dude, you wander and that’s not fair. It’s double edge sword.

  42. redbone

    your post #31..OMG..I have been preaching this sermon for years to men

    they marry the “perfect girl” get bored out of their minds and end up cheating with the more balanced girl

    I dont get it..when will they learn

    alot of men (and women) are afraid to love just well..WHO THEY LOVE..with their lists (see yesterday’s post) and what not and really REALLY not looking at a person for WHO they are and not WHAT they are

  43. bam I agree with that as well. I think with sex have it or you dont. Its not something you can put on, or take off or learn

    back to outward appearances


    you can look at girl based on her outward appearance and say “dang I just want to bang her”

    what if a girl is well endowed and is trying to cover it up but no amount of clothes will hide that?

    and what about the skinny assed girl who shows it all

    isn’t it more the attire of the girl vs her physical attributes?

    if its the physical moreso then ..I dont know what to say. Its not fair to be viewed sexually just cause u born with more assets than the next girl..but I guess thats life

  44. Well shit, since I cosigned the rest of it, I may as well add I also co-sign what Anesidora said about accentuating top or bottom. Its the tube top & micro mini’s that I can’t stand to see out.


    I also agree that the good girls get looked over until they get older… Then suddenly they are the hot commodity. Kinda goes wit that whole “good things come to those who wait,” theory.


  45. Amen to everyone who posted after me. I'm big on living an enriching life and that doesn't include trying to meet some ridiculous male standard of female beauty and behavior. Everything I do these days to enhance my life. I exercise because I want to be healthy not so that men can appreciate my body, I want to attend a top five mba program to build my career, meet amazing people, learn more, and improve my social mobility, not so that I can attract a rich man. I dress a certain way that makes me feel good, not to draw attention from other men (the attention part is just a consequence of that decision). When women step back and do these things for themselves and have the confidence to walk the walk they will attract a certain quality guy not some bullshit dude who wants to put women in silly categories.

  46. Hey SBM

    "Ever wonder why guys don’t take you serious?"

    "Ever wonder why guys always seem willing to take you home for the night, but not out to dinner?"
    You've got my attention.

    "Ever wonder why you always hear “your so sexy … lemme just stick a finger in that a$$” instead of “your so beautiful … I wanna drink your bathwater”?"

    "Well … your appealing to the wrong “prototype”. Let me explain. Come close … looka here …"
    *leans in*

    "When it comes to judging sexiness, prettiness, and beauty … we have 3 main prototypes we judge against. Being classified in the wrong group can be detrimental to your goals … and we don’t want that."

    Soooo, if I continue to exude sexy from my very being, I'm doomed to being stripper/porn star forever? say it ain't so SBM….say it ain't so.

  47. @Muse:"I’m big on living an enriching life and that doesn’t include trying to meet some ridiculous male standard of female beauty and behavior. Everything I do these days to enhance my life."

    I couldn't agree more! I have a cousin who spent all her time trying to turn herself into someone that she is not in order to attract a man. In the end she did marry the rich good looking husband she had dreamt of and now a few years later she is divorced with two kids at 25. She didn't complete university or focus on developing herself because she was so fixated on becoming "perfect wife material" and now she is feeling completely lost and regretful…

    The moral of the story is to just focus on being you rather than trying to fit into some arbitrary categorisation. If you know who you are and what you want from life once you do meet the right person you are far more likely to recognise them!

    So thats my motivational speech for the day – being super positive makes me feel much more American ;-)I'm trying to shed the over cynical Brit in me now that I have been here a month.

  48. Muse you are really spitting the truth over there and I can really appreciate it!! I think a lot of times we change ourselves to accomodate a man what he deems to be the "it" factor without taking into account the damage we are doing to ourselves… A lot of times we do these things unconsciously.

  49. its funny that you all are upholding the angel category. i can't get a date because guys think of me as wifey material. how ironic. anywho… the advice you are giving overall is great information for women who don't know where they're going wrong. first impressions are everything in every situation. therefore i don't mind being stared at like an outsider when i go to a club or a bar in a maxi dress or looking like a school teacher (hear that one all the time). it starts with respect for yourself and that shows up in your appearance. i know i'm sexy and don't have to advertise, save it for your man.

  50. It sucks to possess attributes from both categories – angel strapped with "sexy" looks because then I guess the guys inturn expect a stripper? Or an angel who will offer a lot of playing time on that body? That's how you end up with "active" guys, maybe even in relationships, introducing you to their bffs, family and everybody in between hoping to keep you around long enough to score you later (after having ran through every stripper in town ofcourse) No thanks, I'll pass.


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