The Sex Cloud

Good sex done got her cheating ... shame

First and Foremost … I am the president and founder of the Anti-Celibacy Movement (ACM) here on this site.  I think that sex is good and we as adults should engage in healthy sex with people who deserve it as often as possible.  And I wholeheartedly promote not sleeping around and racking up numbers … but picking good people to “use” (read: Friend with Benefits).

Now that I’ve said all that … onto today’s topic.

Sex … it clouds the mind, obscures judgment, and can f*ck you over … literally and not.

Have you ever kept some around because the sex was just too good.  They weren’t good for you, they smacked your mama, and they took a dump on your living room to prove a point .. but damn if they don’t make your toes curl and your body just feel … good.  Excellent head is grouped in here too …

Hell … just thinking about it makes me … man …

And has a subpar showing ever made you leave a perfectly good person.  She is with you in thick and thin … He worships the ground you walk on … but the first 2 times weren’t good … so you deleted the number.

Even though you could have taught them … you just didn’t want to be bothered with it.

See Also:  How Friendships with Married Men Become Affairs

Well … I am here to agree with the some of the core beliefs of the Celibacy Club (started here in the comments section too) … sometimes sex just needs to be removed from the equation.

So … I present … Things that can go wrong because of sex:

  • Inability to think about anything but the next time your having sex
  • Ridiculous amount of money spent on condoms
  • Entertaining someone for 8 months who you can’t stand … just because they are sleeping with you
  • Going out on a second date just because the first one ended in sex … although you can’t stand her/his a$$
  • Promising a girl a relationship … when you just want backshots
  • Promising a guy a dinner … when you just want some d*ck
  • You miss that million dollar meeting f*cking around with a quickie
  • You develop an itch when thinking about it … and now everyone thinks your on “that stuff”
  • You get pregnant (or get someone pregnant)
  • You have sullied every piece of furniture in your house and feel bad when your mom sits on your couch
  • The Home Owner’s Association is writing you up for getting caught on the balcony
  • You cheat on the person you have 3 kids with, stayed with you through a bankruptcy, and loves you unconditionally … just because you wanted some new p*ssy/d*ck
See Also:  Do Single Women Hold Any Responsibility for Not Pursuing Committed Men?

So … please keep a level head when sex is involved.  Don’t let it rule your life … and learn to give it up when needed.

That’s all …


  1. I thiink it depends on your sex drive.
    I am more addicted to FOOD than sex.

    I met a woman over the weekend who said she can cook. Thought to myself… ok Im satisfied with the current amount of people I am with, so no sex or dating for you woman.
    "OH just come over its not like Im tryin to steal you"

    so I thought to myself… "duh well if thats the case AND I get food im there"

    man why did I get there and she didnt cook because "its snowing" and then procedes to cuddle up next to me on the couch (which isnt a problem) and then start wit the kissing on the neck and telling me "I give great massages"

    what grown ass man is going to give up cock to a chick when he is starving????

    to put it over the top, she asked me to stay and call out of work?
    yo, ol girl pretty much lost her mind just over WANTING some cock. I have miss Alaska if I want the good food good fuk combo. but Im american and therefore am greedy at times.

    I faked an ulcer flare up and said I had a leave. and NO going over to hang with a "new friend" does NOT count towards my date/woman total.

  2. OMG!! last night when I was out with the girls I was just talking about CRACK SEX! the addictive life force infusing kind also known as kryptonite: your weakness.

    so I reading this post and ur like oh u should have casual sex with good people but I pose a question to you sbm: if there isn't anyone around I deem worthy and I dare not add another notch on my belt

    why not use my "u know" to get it if I need it. until the real deal should present himself??

  3. I have a question I need advice from my blog family.

    I have a job offer (amen right?)

    but the pay cut is almost half of what I was making prev. but it would get my foot into the door and I'm sure inside a year I could be making what I was at my last position.

    what are your thoughts??

  4. This is a funny post Phrat, must add to it:

    – You run you car off the road trying to get road head.
    – She/He puts you on youtube from when you decided to stripper dance
    – You blow out your back trying to lift a big girl

    Oh yeah, yesterday the ladies were talking about the BGLOs, Alphas are the Pinnacle, point blank period. Schola's Makin' Dolla's, the rest are either to dumb to graduate, so pretty that you gotta compete, or just damn near silly lookin, ok.

  5. SBM, sex does cloud people judgement and if you're looking to be in a committed relationship, I wouldn't advise jumping in bed with the person too soon. You need to be able to think clearly (without thinking about how they make your toes curl) before making that type of committment.

    Akua, congrats on the job offer. Why not ask for more money upfront? Keep in mind that pay raises aren't usually 50 percent jumps if you're in the same position so it may take longer than a year (unless you get another position within the company where the minimum salary is what you were making previously.)

  6. Funny. I just posted on this same thing basically last night. Only it was a scenario. The point being, don't fall in love with the sex.

    Anyhow, I have a few words to put here.

    I think lack of sex can also cloud judgement. You find yourself insanely horny at your desk at work and can't focus on the computer screen. Don't dare have the ipod on shuffle cause suddenly every song hints at sex subliminally and you, (if your a woman), catch yourself grinding on the little hump in the crotch of your jeans…

    Then again, maybe needing to cum only clouds my judgement.

    Presently celebate myself, there are definitely perks to being celebate – however, the perks that come with not being are just about equal IMO.


  7. @sheila: the job is a set pay grade. what I'm hoping to do I'd move into another position with in the next year to 18 months.

  8. I had a phone conversation with a brotha from this blog and he advised me to dump a woman I am dating when I told him about some of her antics. I had to admit to him, the combination of what she does for me on the side and the earth shaking sex make it pretty hard to pack up and leave.
    I seem to be meeting more and more divorced women this year in their mid 30's who say they married for the sex. and even couldnt leave because the sex was too good.
    THAT must be sum good pussy!

    your an african woman. your proud and hard working and focused by nature and by culture. as your one and only " american boy " im telling you that I would always take the corporate climb over the other option.
    i have had success corporate climbing. money is always bad but climbers usually do well and are more secure because we can always flee to other departments when the hatchet falls.
    you dont have the luxury of being passive because you have others to think about. so since your not going to submit and let me me take care of you….. me opinion is take the 2nd job.

    but then again WTF do I know?

  9. @ Shelia: I think you are correct my bestfriend and I had the same exact conversation regarding sex and how when you sleep with someone so soon you are willing to overlook things that if you weren't banging that person they would get cut so quickly for. But then again you have to wonder about people who do sleep with people on the first or second date and end up being with that person for years.

  10. @Akua: I'm not going to lie … I'm skeptical about the job because a 50% pay cut is major. If the job offers more in terms of stability and upward movement, then it may be a good look … and also with the economy it might be necessary. I honestly think you should take it … and re-evaluate things at 6 months. If its not going good … just start up the search again.

  11. @sbm right now on unemployment I'm doing good. almost better then when I was working. however taking a paycut will get me in the door and that's all I need. I'm a pray on it.

  12. Good Morning SBM,

    The adverse warehouse effect (works cite Humble_One) can come about with a lack of sex. Also, ever not have sex in so long (relative, of course) that you quickly sleep with the next person you start talking to – even though you've already pegged them as incompatible? blech.

    I must agree that wack sex can get a good person the boot. *kick*

    Add this to the list
    – you begin taking risque photos of ureself on ya camera phone to send to the person (what's gone wrong here, you ask. i lost my phone)

  13. "So … please keep a level head when sex is involved. Don’t let it rule your life … and learn to give it up when needed."

    Thats it and thats all

    dont let your vagina define who you are or make or break your self esteem

  14. Ummm LACK of sex is an even bigger cloud.

    ever seen a woman in her sexual peak who is lacking both love AND the pipe???

    Ever see a 20 year old black male trying to study with a hardon and make up every exscuse in the world to go out and LOOK for ass?

    the funiest part about this whole conversation about sex we are depicting young 20 something men against young 20 something women….
    how about we also talk about the FLIP side?

    cuz Ill tell you a 30 something year old black woman who WANTS SEX is not a fukin joke my niggas.

    speakin of sex… Akua if you really love me, we can make arrangements for later this weekend [insert cheezy 80's wink here] (que lil louis french kiss mood music)

  15. HNIC: man why did I get there and she didnt cook because “its snowing” and then procedes to cuddle up next to me on the couch (which isnt a problem) and then start wit the kissing on the neck and telling me “I give great massages”

    Not to bring us off topic but this is the exact PROBLEM I ran into this weekend. I went on a 'date' this weekend where the guy cooked dinner and dessert for me. Sounds great right? Well when I said I was going to go and have a good night he threw some bitchassness because I 1. wouldn't cuddle 2. didn't kiss his neck and 3. didn't want to give a massage. Its because women are way too easy now a days and a man expects a massage on the first date and sex on the 3rd. IT drives me crazy. Maybe all the bad things that can happen from sex are a good reason to wait for the right time. Not necessarily forever but just for the right time…..either way DAMN YOU EASY GIRLS for making it hard for a sistah like me.

  16. this reminds me of that seinfeld episode where they all refrained from sex

    it made elaine (women) dumber

    and Men smarter


    going without sex to a person with a high sex drive is difficult….and higher sex drive people are often ridiculed for not waiting forever and a day, accused of being promiscuous and "black snake moany"

    Why is it bad if you love to have sex and want to have it (long as it isn't reckless and you'll regret it)

    I sincerely think that only those with a low sex drive can do the celibacy thing (high sex drive people can do it when in a serious relationship)..and I would be leary of a guy who told me he didn't have sex for 6 months…I would think he has a low drive ..and I was married to king low drive and hated it.

  17. One thing that hasn't been talked about is "taking things into your own hands".

    Its not the same … but it sure does help a brother concentrate throughout the day.

    @Akua: No … your not allowed to go back to the person who is no good and just doesn't deserve it … just because your horny. Its just gonna set a bad precedent, and then you'll prolly feel bad afterward, and that n*gga/b*tch is prolly crazy already.

  18. I just wanna say….I love hoes, I just don't pay for 'em…

    OK, umm…sex cloud is a mutha…like it can have you bout to slap ya mama…leaving work early, going in late, just f'n up ur whole life for some good poonany or some lingam. I'm just saying…

    Sex does make me smarter and more efficient tho.

  19. Angel: "Sex does make me smarter and more efficient tho."

    I agree with this, especially if it's in the morning before work.

  20. umm FLy. if you come over my house and eat my food and you dont put out, the next woman will and you wont have another date. girl to guy ration is to high for sillyness like this LOL.

  21. "King Low Drive" Hil-freakin-larious!

    @True, very valid points made. I'm trying the "celibacy" thing, it's sooooo not working! I seem hornier than ever now too and EVERY time I turn on my IPOD why is "Crown Royal on Ice" by Jill Scott playing? Sheesh!!

    I call this period, "Rehab" I had to give up the crack cock, I was strung out. It was mutual but it had to stop.
    The Sex Cloud will have you NOT see a person for who they really are or who they really aren't. Then when you find out certain things you can't believe it because you have cum in your eye!

  22. First I have to agree with the "smarter and more efficient" comments. When I was in college, a quickie was a surefire way to get over my writer's block and get that paper cranked out.

    I was also just thinking about this very subject, how good D casts a spell over you…. like in the movies and cartoons where the person is walking around in a trance (let's say…. Prince Eric in Little Mermaid-style) and then all the sudden the spell is broken and your eyes clear up and you see what you REALLY had yourself into and want to kick yourself repeatedly for being such a dumb ass. Yes, I've had some D that should be illegal in 43 states that had me doing just that. *smashes shell*

    SBM, I'm officially joining the ACM…. can I be your undersecretary? I'm sorry, Celibacy Club folk…. I just can't do it. Call me Nola Darling…..

  23. redbone

    I dont think I have had a sex cloud as an adult

    If I couldn't stand a person i didn't have sex with them because I would be turned off (ilk)

    And Ive been able to have good sex with someone and NOT Get attached…seriously ..(except my current..go….but it wasn't his penis that got me attached)

    I dont equate sex with love..haven't since..well…Mike dumped me after I gave up the goods when I didn't even know what good sex was like..

    Plus..I have a high sex drive thus I enjoy that means I dont look at my cooch as a barter for gettin a husband. I really just like doing it.

    Its even better tho when you in love and happily monogamous IMO 🙂

  24. I can't believe I came on here and said I have a high sex drive and enjoy sex

    Im slipping

    feels like im advertising

    sorry folks


  25. sometimes the crack cock will have you stuck on stupid when other wise you would be a completley competent individual.

    I have a friend (who i have never slept with) who I happen to know has Kryptonite(cRACK)cock because this is what i've heard.

    Women just make complete fools of themselves behind him spazing out in the club, buying him rims, the down payment on his motorcycle, the G-phone, but HE LIVES WITH HIS MOMMA!!! He makes like 50k a year but he blows it on BS!! Sistas please this is NOT the man of your dreams..even if it does resemble a forearm…lol.

    Ok so I think im a take the job,thanks family…love ya.

    ps. Sani: U couldn't handle me. I have a strange dominatrix fatasy that i really think that you would be down for…when your ready I got a rubber ball and strap with your name on it…LOL….

  26. True:Well yes and no…I once dated someone whose father was into some yoni website which I liked that talked like that….but Pleasure is an excellent book.

    NoMore:Whew I wish I had some right now.

  27. i think that "marrying someone due to the prospect of great d!ck for the rest of your life" should also be added to this list right here…

    but that list is soooo true!!! before i got married (and this is y above should be added to the list) i used to dream about my next conquest till it happened… ugh…

  28. True dont worry the secret of your sexual desire is safe with us…. and the other 22billion people who can google this site….

    Im at the opposite end of the spectrum, I have a low sex drive and could care less about constant sex. so there must be Yin and yang in the universe… right?

    I have always said my sex drive is what allows me to be more calculating in how I handle my dating situations. but whats backwards is the women I date always want to sleep with me, a guy who dosent beg for sex….. but 90% of them complain past dates they have been on that men are trying to hit on them and get in their pants. so women want to sleep wit the guy who dosent want sex but dont want sex from men who WANT to sleep with them? yep… makes sense to me

  29. lol Hnic

    I think there has to be some balance

    no woman wants to meet someone thats an octopus or just plain too forward and just put they thang on the table

    on the other hand..we dont KNOW that you low sex drive dudes DONT want to have sex..we just appreciate the respect by not being pressed and that turns us on…

    It would disappoint me if you didn't want to do me after I came on to you (not you specifically)

  30. @ 24 I'm glad a woman said this!!!

    "he didn’t have sex for 6 months…I would think he has a low drive ..and I was married to king low drive and hated it"

    I got killed on the thread about "how long can you go with out sex"

    For saying the same thing to some degree. I depostied that if not all then some women on these blogs at one point in her life would be VERY suspect of a man that isnt having sex on the reg.


    just on the reg…I also suggest from a pop cult pov…its accepted if women refrain from it and or are celibate and its known…if ita man even the Church goin women look at him askance…I am not sayin a man cant be celibate or not go with out I just say the reasons he will are VASTLY different than for women. And trust he is actively trying to break that drought…with women yall get it thrown at yall year round.

    Men unless we runway model material or the Latest Hot Actor/Rapper or Ballplayer or making over 35k…we ALWAYS have to work to get laid.


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