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What makes “it” good?


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Sex …

I think about it roughly every 28 to 94 minutes in some capacity.

Various capacities too.  Sometimes rehashing great partners, sometimes fantasizing about future ones (I wonder how xxxx would be in bed), sometimes mentally validating stories I’ve heard (given that angle and weight … his pelvic bone would shatter).

During one of these moments I decided to ponder the question of “What defineds good sex?”

I find myself having this talk with females more often than guys.  Rarely do “me and the guys” hang around defining what makes good pussy … but I have found women have lists upon lists defining what makes things good for them.

This has lead me to believe that sex varies a lot for women.  Some guys are extremely good, while some just suck.  Apparently some are gifted physically, but don’t know what to do with it.  Others are average or “under gifted”, but make up for it with skills, willingness to do things, or … something.  One in particular told me hwo she would have to drop someone quickly if her wasn’t “bringing it”.  There was a post by The Fatales talking about size … and the girth vs. length issue seems to be talked about more than who eventually won the Jay Z and Nas beef.

See Also:  How The Grinch Stole P*ssy

When it comes to guys … uhhhhh … she swallows.  Or … she does anal.

And not much more.

So … I decided to define this question on my own terms.  What did all my great sexual experiences have in common?  What was it that had me waking up in cold sweats, sitting at my desk incapable of thinking clearly, and incapable of speaking during the act?  What for a man makes sex good?

I quickly figured this is a hard question to answer.  Fact is … I do most of the work and control the situation.  I’ve never had anyone throw me against a wall and hold my arms up (and I don’t want anyone).  I’ve never had anyone bend me over a bed. table, kitchen counter, TV, railing, bathroom sink … well … u get the point.  So since I’m leading 80% of the time … what defined the “greats”?

Glad you asked …

Can ya ride?

One of the few times I’m not in control is when I’m on the bottom and she is on top.  If she doesn’t know how to move her hips, command the situation, and stare into my eyes while licking her lips … she’s not going to be one of the greats. Hop on that boy and gyrate until hurts … then keep going.  “My thighs hurt” should never be uttered …

See Also:  Children Are a Choice

Wetness … aka … That Aquafina Flow

VSB already debunked this myth that we care about tightness and brought the importance of wetness to the table.  I’m here to cosign.  While I have had a few that “hugged” him rather nicely … those that tried to drown him go into the history book.

Hoopin and Hollerin

The moans, groans, and saying my name are very notable.  They turn something fun … into an event.  There is just nothing like hearing your name moaned … NOTHING.  Wait … I take that back … when she can actually tell you in a sultry voice what your doing in the type of nasty language that make you think “did you work in phone sex before” … that’s even better.

What else you doing?

The actual act of sex doesn’t change that much.  How many different ways can you put the peg into the hole?  For someone to earn Heather Hunter notoriety … you need to be doing more.  Spit on it, swallow something, deep throat, then tell me put it somewhere … interesting.  Even just some grabbing on me, nibbling my ear, and that stuff will make me love it more.  That’s how your gonna get that MVP title.

See Also:  I Thought I Only Wanted a Physical Relationship

No crying in f*cking baseball …

“My back hurts”, “You done yet … its been 2 hours”, and “Can we stop … I’m sore” will lose you more points than renigging in spades.  Suck it up … like my inner thing ain’t spasming too.

She wants it just as bad

Ever had someone jump on you in anticipation?  Had a female let you know she wants it even more?  That’s sexy …

So at the heart of it …  va-jay-jay accounts for maybe 30% of “is it good”.  Superhead got her name for her skills … aint never heard of Superp*ssy …

What did I miss?


  1. All of these things you've said make snse. The biggest one I think is, if she wants it just as bad and what is she willing to do. It's nothing like straight I'm gonna rip you out of your cloths sex, no questions asked. THat raw carnage mixed with a little tongue play can make a man sleep like a baby.

    So ladies, take charge, take that d*ck, and ride kiss suck grab spit whatever it till he passes the hell out.

  2. Good post. As a woman I can add a man's inability to change or maintain his stroke. If he can only give jack rabbit sex or doesn't know how to gradually speed up its not a good look. Lack of stamina and lack of foreplay also not a good look. There are various other things as well.

    VSB's post on Kegel's cracked me up. I couldn't find the Fatales post. SBM can you put up the direct link to the post please. Thanks

    Don't forget to vote today!

  3. loves it. as a chick i'm cosigning on all that ish. one thing for me is a guy having the same level of interaction. none of the above matters if he's a bump on a log and i'm ready to get in a work out. i need to be put to bed. walk into work with all kinds of pains and cramps, can't sit with my legs crossed. all that. 😉

  4. My thing is I know men like wetness and some like tightness both of which I can do…

    Now with Satya…foreplay is a huge deal for me I just didn't realize how much until last week…it was really more or less like do that sh!t Daddy…I ain't going nowhere and I will do whatever you want!

  5. My favorite topic 🙂 Great sex is not selfish, knowing that is 1/2 the battle.

    For me foreplay is MAJOR! I like the buildup and the teasing, him making me beg for it, now THAT is the best it makes for a better night for him. I'm a "watcher" so I like to see the faces made because of what I'm doing to him during foreplay / sex it's a super turn on for me.

    Great sex though, is a confident trash talker with a soft tongue & a mean stroke who understands that harder, deeper & faster are three different instructions.

    A tip for the gentlemen: If you want Aquafina flow, YOU have to create it.

  6. sigh I cant put my finger on what makes sex good. I have had sex with more people in the past 15 months than I have had the other 15 years I was sexually active combined doubeled and squared (leaves ya thinkin)
    but I still cant put my finger on what makes sex GOOD.

    For instance, One chick from last year… Ill just call her Miss Flo. Had to be the wettest nanni I ever sank into in my life. I realised… I LOVE WET SLOPPY NANNI!!! but her actual SKILL in the sack was always lacking.
    I had sex with a gal who was 80lbs and had a rockin hard body and skinz so tight…. golly…. but anyway. She was LAZY in bed and we had no connection.

    I also had a fat chick who did mad work in bed and screamwd her head off and worked the hips well, but looking at a cheeseburger ass and french fry thighs is not my idea of sensual.

    And then…. theres miss alaska. god I could write a doccumentry on how many ways this woman is not cut out to be my wife and will be my eventual downfall. But everything about this woman makes me SCREAM to be near her….. oh and she is absolute MURDER in the sack.
    ive had better yellers, better movers, more liberal lovers, better bodies… but I have never had someone who everytime I touched them they seemed like they were going to fall over and never had a woman who made me loose my absolute fuggin mind over everything she does to me (in bed and out)
    sex like where you get so worked up that you grab her hair…. black out… hear her say "OUCH" somewhere in the middle.. and your reply is "SHUT THE FUCK UP" as you pull her leggs over your shoulder and thrust harder…. then you black out again… and then…. POP you come back to your senses like you were spiderman infected by the black suit and say OMG what did we just do!!! that felt wonderful… but naughty.

    ya sex like that needs to be applauded. but what makes us have synergy with a person, Ill never know.

  7. @Redbone: The only way you can garuntee that Aquafina flow is through KY. Some women … no matter how stimulated … just can't get there.

    @reign: I've been so used to breaking backs that I never thought about how its always on us to break the backs. Why can't ya'll be doing backflips on it?

  8. I just hate lazy men because I am not a lazy woman.
    I also hate men who expect me to always take the lead. That shit is gay and will result in me revoking access to the p.
    I give head when inspired to do so… Meaning, if you don't want to hear "my thighs hurt," I don't expect to hear, "can you suck my dick."

    This is not to say I'm unwilling to treat a man and put him out from time to time.

    I just expect out, what I put in.

    You say you like when I'm so wet it's running down my thighs? Yeah, well I like when it's so good I want to suck you to finish.


  9. I think "it" is purely subjective. Some like passive, some like aggressive, some like passive-aggressive… it's all what fits into your unique combination of freak-dom (or lack thereof). I like a man who can adjust and not just do me the same way he did the last chick (unless she liked what I like…. then proceed, partna).

  10. Yea its about its about what you expect. If you been banging people above your grade since losing your virginity you probably expect to be blown away from the jump. Yet if you you have been within your range then you might be tame by some standards and then open up with time.

    For me its foreplay..I LOVE to give it…I like to hear women go from antcipation to gettin it(and I delay penis-vaginal intercourse as long as poss…I mean you got somehwere to go sweetheart…?)..I play the game…look but dont tocuh..touch but dont feel..taste but dont swallow…build tension-I like to do it.

    She needs to give head like she mean it…LOTS of spit and get in to it…I aint never lick the clit in a kinda-sorta I am not really into this-well only cause you want it-way.

  11. @Anesidora: Sex should be a customized experience for each. The deep stroke doesn't work the same for everybody.

    I'm still feel like there is more women can do to make it good. What men need to do is pretty well understood. What are the female tricks to the trade?

  12. Ya know SBM as men some us "KNOW" what they should do but do some women know?

    Like there are things when say givng head-that a shorty ought to know if she claim she does give head-NOW if you dont then DONT say you do cause Dude will be looking for the million dollar move with the ten cent finish.

  13. @temps, you have to customize your head game to the individual and you don't know…uh…until you're on your knees. You obviously do what's worked well before, see what he likes then tailor it to suit him. I'm personally not offended when a man gives me specific instructions (not that I'm doing a bad job) but for example, one guy I was dating liked teeth…from what I've heard the #1 rule of DON'Ts for giving head was no teeth…brotha had me twisted for a sec, but he enjoyed it.

    @sbm we KNOW, but we have to ration it. You can't pull out all the tricks the 1st time, you'll scare a brotha. I'm not saying lay there, participation is a MUST; however, we also pay attention to your style and again tailor it to fit. Not only that, you must be worthy of the extras 🙂 you'll get them in time.

  14. what's the big deal about anal? p*ssies feel diff…do anal cavities feel different too? there ain't too much elasticity back there and it's not naturally moist.

    the whole thing was kinda gay to me. i used to feel like if u'll put it in her @ss…you'll put it in a dudes @ss too.

  15. @SBM:

    "I’ve been so used to breaking backs that I never thought about how its always on us to break the backs. Why can’t ya’ll be doing backflips on it?"

    some of us can… when you let us. men are so used to being in control or wanting to be the ones in control that you will not let a sista get in her fun. i'm pretty sure that there are ladies that aren't into aerobatics but that's what i mean about being with someone that's on your level. feeding off each other. i like to have it slow and passionate sometimes, but i'm a screamer. i'll leave the details out. but it definitely depends on the connection.

    @ cuzzo: i second that motion. a man that likes to do anal is very suspect.


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