The Magic Ratio


**** Admin Note ****
I am being featured amongst a group of guys over on Sheila Gloss’ Blog about to answer some questions as a black man. Go check it out!

I think a person’s past will tell you a lot about that person.  I understand that people change and all that good sh*t … but not that much.

It’s been published that I am a fan of knowing the “magic number” of a potential mate.

What is the magic number … duh … how many people have caught the bidness in your lifetime.

When it came to determining the “ho status” of a woman … I talked about the number.  When it came to what you need to know before proposing … I talked about the number.

But … this magical number isn’t it.  Oh no … there is another number even more important … and even better indicator of hoedom … an even better test for the person your thinking about marrying.  I’m talking about the …

Magic Ratio

Not the Golden Ratio (for you art and math majors) … I’m talking about something so much more important.

This magic ratio is practically a number that defines how much of a hoe or slut said guy or gal has been.  Sure I know that people shouldn’t be judged by their past and all that nonsense … but people are only going to change within a certain amount.  The Magic Ratio is just another tool to help you determine if you really want to deal with this person.

See Also:  What Single People And Free Agency Have In Common

Calculating this number is easy and hard at the same time.  So the actualy equation is easy …

Magic Ratio = Number of Jumpoffs / Number of Total Sex Partners

That’s it … simple right …

Well … what constitutes a jumpoff?

That … is an exact science.  Most people would consider one night stands and anyone you slept with just one time … but suppose something starts off as a one night stand … but it actually works out (hey … it could happen).  Suppose it’s a friend who you just sleep with.  Suppose it’s someone you trust … but you are literally using them for just sex.  Suppose it’s the “other women” … how are ya to tell?

Personally … one rule is all ya neeed … again … simple.  If you didn’t date … or the ratio of dates to sex was 4 to 1 or greater … than it counts as a jumpoff.  Sure … there are a million and one nuances (He lived out of town … so we didn’t go out.  I was broke … so couldn’t afford a date … etc) … but u know if it was a jumpoff situation.

Now … you got this number.  But what defines a hoe vs. a saint.  Sure Cherokee and Jenna Jameson are gonna be at like 90% … but so might that chic who was just “having fun” in college.

See Also:  Ask A Black Man: The Experience

Anything over 50% … slore!

Ok … slore was a bit harsh … but if most of your sex partners have been jumpoffs … that’s not a good look.

But taken into account with the “magic number” of sex partners … and you can have a good idea if your potential spouse was running through college sucking & f*cking every n***a walking “sexually empowering herself” or is she has been a good girl.

**Note** … These numbers are just indicators of the past … which can’t predict the future … but it damn sure has some correlation.

So … what’s your thoughts on the ratio?  Is the magic number more important or the ratio?


  1. 1st!! yes, well i'm glad to be back on this site, now i'm the one of the newest members of Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority Inc. EEE YIP, but yea is this ratio only for women cuz if so then that more than serious double standard is still around and turth be told a persons past is a person's business unless they have a disease or they have one to many photo/videos floating around..mmm i ono thats just me, i'm just glad to be back!

  2. Sorry, SBM, I think this is crap because nobody is talking about men and how many people they've fugged with and whether this makes them suitable or not as a mate. If that were the case, women would just be doomed to singledom. So women are expected to get boo'd up for sex, while men can just run around and screw who and whenever….. you see the disconnect here?? How are we supposed to get boo'd up with y'all when NOBODY WANTS TO??? (oh, except for between the months of September and February…. I guess that's when we're allowed to have sex).

    This sounds like just another arbitrary rule, and one that makes me feel like I need to look over my shoulder for the man coming out of the cave to club me over the head and drag me back to his lair.

  3. In SBM's defense, he wrote this article towards men and women. And women should have more faith that good men exist. According to this test, I am far under 50%. So all men aren't whores. Lastly, I agree that a person's past is their business, as long as there past isn't trying to be there future. If you have a problem with their number, have them take an STD test. If they are clean then does it really matter who they had it with?

  4. Point taken Johnny…. I see the "or guy" reference (I ought not read first thing in the AM). But really…. this still isn't realistic. Who is going to sit down with you and go through this analysis (was each individual a jumpoff or not) hash through these numbers HONESTLY??? Not too many. So just don't ask/don't tell, except when it comes to health status. Cuz at the end of the day if you find that person who does make you want to run off into the sunset with them, you'll make up excuses for their past anyway.

  5. i go back and forth on what parts of the ratio I care about or if I even give a dam#n about any of his numbers at all. Firstly Im asking about and for a STD/AIDs test REGARDLESS. But If Im all up in your numbers like that..we need not hollar, because the sheer fact im asking makes me feel as though we're not a good match. If Im caring enough to want to calculator your @zz something is wrong in the state of denmark.

  6. I have toagree with Anesidora, that no oneis going to sit and analyze their partners with you. It's unrealistic. I've only asked the magic # question once. After going to his hometown to "meet the fam" we kept running into girls he'd clearly slept with so I asked. His reply "I was young and wasn't selective back then".

    If a guy asks me my number i'll answer. But I want to know his as well. I think a more important question is when was the last time you were tested and got the results. 1 potential partner would go get tested but never would get the results. So he got the ax

  7. I never ask questions I'm not ready for the answer for… I don't want to know how many people he's had sex with.

    My future sexual partners will be required to take a test… just that simple for me. 😉 I've been celibate for a LONG time and I'll be daggone if I finally let someone in and get hit with "that man." Condoms don't prevent everything.

  8. I will admit that when I thgought this up me and my friend were discussing my relative level of hoedom (while I am no hoe … men can be slores too) and I thought it might be a useful thing, but Ane is right … no one is gonna go through this with someone.

  9. Seriously

    why does this bother men? how many people a woman has slept with in her past

    If she has decided to be faithful to you…what difference does it make how many people she slept with before you?

  10. Good Morning,

    None of it is important. What's past is past. And ppl do change in this aspect, not usually because they want but because it all gets tiring after a while. You have to figure out what you want period – if you're suspicious about the past – wait to have sex with the person. You don't want to be another notch on his/her belt.

  11. First I just stumbled upon your site through another SBM's blog ( I must agree with the majority of the comments, that the Past is the past. Also at first glance it looked like you were just referring to women, which is a double standard. As long as you use protection with your encounters/partners, and you are not spreading an STD or even worse AIDs. Who is one to judge. I will admit, I believe in a policy that it doesn't matter how many people my partner or I have had sex with. In fact #'s don't matter in most cases people won't tell the truth about how many people they have slept with anyways. Men and women need to ask the correct questions.

    1. When's the last time you've been tested?
    2. Do you use protection at all times?
    3. Would you be willing to take a test?

    Because at the end of the day, those are the questions that matter, not how many people you've f'd…

  12. I am a firm believer in full disclosure when it comes to the past. Maybe its because I've been such a good kid and have little to hide, but I think part of it is just trust. Also, it should be up to me to decide if your 5 years as a call girl is a problem.

  13. If the past is the past why do we get credit scores? Every where else we use the past to predict the future? But those credit scores dont tell if you got a new job or you just learned to spend your money better. This ratio and any other formulas are only good for showing past transgressions and can be of some use in predicting the future but should not be the end all be all

  14. *passes mimosas around*

    Damn…home it up in here a little can ya?

    Ok, I personally don't care, but I do believe in letting a man know where the hell I've been.

    I got one who offered me a straight up test! Yippee! If that ain't love I don't know what it is!

  15. Thanks for the Mimosa Jac… tastes great.

    "I am a firm believer in full disclosure when it comes to the past. Maybe its because I’ve been such a good kid and have little to hide.'

    SBM, thing is not everybody has been this good… I have, BUT I know some men that have not… now that I know, he is far less appealing (even though we cut out sex some time ago) but I don't even want to touch him now that I know how free he is in with slanging…. 'tis why I never ask.

  16. @Peyso: Your right on with that Credit Score analogy. I agree … that fact of the matter is that choices that a person made in the past definitely say a lot about that individual.

    @All: Another thing about these "stats". While I want to know … I don't judge really. I mean … if you spent 5 years as a crack addict prostitute … that's one thing … but just because you had a little whore period in college doesn't make you undatable.

  17. "choices that a person made in the past definitely say a lot about that individual"

    I don't fully agree. The choice I made when I was 19, isn't who I am today. Having a period in college or slightly there after doesn't determine my personality, heart etc.

    To be honest, I was a VIRGIN until my second semester in college…so what does that say…nothing.

    I'm now 28, grown, mature, accepting, loyal, honest, loving, fun, sexual, compfortible in my own skin, etc…but if I disclose the # of guys I've slept with…does that make me "hoe"…

    Hell NO…

  18. @Nicki: Is ignorance really bliss? And do you think its really possible to never find out at some point? Isn't it better to know early and get over it then find out later on when you see him on the HBO trick's & john's special?

  19. @ SBM,

    Men say they want to know, but really they can't handle it. Why is the # so important. It's NOT WHERE YOU HAVE BEEN, but where you are going.

    Someone's past doesn't offer you 100% insight into that person's true being and core…

    People learn from their past, grow, mature and move on…besides only one person can really JUDGE them…

    if you are basing the fact of whether someone is a "hoe" based on the amount of people they slept with…then that truly is ignorant…

  20. @Given: Congrats and welcome to the great Greek World.

    @DC Dating: I think one problem is everyone get caught up on the hoe vs. non-hoe thing. I have been shocked by some numbers before, but never called someone a hoe as a result. Like I said … just because you had some experiences in college or after … its not a big deal. But I'm sorry … I don't care how much you changed … if you were a crack head prostitute for 5 years … that's some history I can't ignore.

    I think the big thing for me is trying to catch them extremities …

  21. "Nicki: Is ignorance really bliss? And do you think its really possible to never find out at some point? Isn’t it better to know early and get over it then find out later on when you see him on the HBO trick’s & john’s special?"

    SBM, to some folks, they just have to know everything. Not me. Ignorance is bliss, I don't look for things I'm not ready for.

    What if I'm really feeling this guy and I ask and find out he's slept with 100 women? I can't fault him for being honest b/c I asked BUT there will be a change of heart for me.

    I've never been a snooping woman.. I know girls who go through phones, drawers and whatnots. I refuse to do it. I think in time, all that I need to know will be shown to me.

    All I need to know is he's clean and we WILL handle that test. 😉

  22. while this is all very interesting and as a woman i like to know. it is a character judgement. all i want to know is….

    what is a slore??? please someone rain some knowledge on me.

  23. I definitly agree with most resonses

    you can't judge a person based on their past..particularly those young years we all experienced being immature, not knowing what we want, who we are.

    Some of us were more sexually free than others..that doesn't mean that we will always be "sexually free"

    I admire a man who admits that hey..i sewed my oats royally up until I as 28, but now at 29, im tired of that

    and the same should go for women..but the fact remains that some men still prefer their woman have only been with 2 men their whole life

    the statistics dont add up

    a man having had 25 – 50 sexual partners before age 30 vs a woman who only had 2 – 5 sexual partners before age 30..

    somebody lying


    I dont think it should matter, how are they treating you now? Are they disease free..just to be redundant

  24. @True: Yeah … there is a double standard for men and women (one in which I am in full support of) … but I don't think is saying that a guy can be at 70 while a woman has to be at 5. The threshold for sloredom is lower for women … but triple digits is bad for anyone.

  25. I don't hide the fact of my love affair with women. My magic number is triple digit.. and I'm talkin mid triple digits. If you know what I mean. I don't hide any fact of this, I actually mentioned the ball park number on my site a few months ago. The magic number only matters to people if you're inexperienced or a virgin. My number doesn't change who I am.. it doesn't alter my identity.. and It won't make me a bad date/person.

    Example.. If you've had less than 5 partners.. you're sexual experiences are a lot more sheltered than someone with 15 or ever 20 partners in their life. If you're a virgin.. then you have a have no experience and you're holding sexual intimacy as a set of dubs.

    Now if you're grown… the number isn't important. You're accepting the guy or female for what they are today..and not what they were yesterday. If ya can't accept that.. you need to step back and find a virgin. That way you don't have to worry about any number at all.

    I don't ask a woman..and I don't care. It does't matter.
    Use protection.. get tested..and if ya get into a relationship.. be faithful. That's my theory. 🙂

  26. @28 "Example.. If you’ve had less than 5 partners.. you’re sexual experiences are a lot more sheltered than someone with 15 or ever 20 partners in their life. If you’re a virgin.. then you have a have no experience and you’re holding sexual intimacy as a set of dubs. "

    eathan I fully agree with your opinion on the whole numbers thing

    I have always said I am worth more than my coochie and only a "grown" person can understand that

    I hate the double standard….I dont think its at all fair and its very remedial. I think that with all the advances we made as a society and how many other ways a person can be judged based on worth, I think its sad that some still resort to judging people based on their sexual experiences, especially on women.

    Truth be told, women have a lot more to barter with than just their coochie. In the past, thats pretty much all a woman had because she wasn't allowed to do anything else. But now, we own our own businesses, we pay our own bills, dont need a man for nothing. Many of us choose to settle down but dont have to cause we can do for ourselves. And because we know our worth and hold ourselves higher up and have accomplished our own things without a man's help, we no longer require that "coochie coupon" as a means of acquiring a man.

    Preferences are fine, i can't hold anything against someone for prefering an inexperienced woman with only 2 partners. And I can't say anything if a man doesn't want a former prostitute and pole dancer.

    As the previous poster said (Teenamarie) I think that it takes experience to get good. You want a freak but you want a freak who had 2 partners….that doesn't make sense and they dont exsist

    Then you marry the girl who had 2 partners and are very unsatisfied sexually and cheat on her with the girl who had 12.

    Be real


  27. LOL..i am still laughing. I guess #28 got deleted. hmmmm

    "Then you marry the girl who had 2 partners and are very unsatisfied sexually and cheat on her with the girl who had 12."

    That statement is soo true..

  28. "I am a firm believer in full disclosure when it comes to the past. Maybe its because I’ve been such a good kid and have little to hide, but I think part of it is just trust. Also, it should be up to me to decide if your 5 years as a call girl is a problem."

    @SBM i think when you meet someone that has these same feelings and you two can discuss it and no one gets upset or hurt or feels dirty then you will have met someone to date. I agree with everyone else that says your past should be your past – but having been through some of the things i have i also kind of agree with a little disclosure is needed… and when it all comes down to it, it will be up to you and your partner to decide what discusions/disclosures are needed and if ya'll arent on the same page it will never work.

    second most i have typed today. damn you and your blogs are giving my wrist a workout…

  29. @ True "As the previous poster said (Teenamarie) I think that it takes experience to get good. You want a freak but you want a freak who had 2 partners….that doesn’t make sense and they dont exsist" I said something similar to this on a prior blog and got raked-it was about Abstaining from sex….I would love that Shorty that took offense to that say something about the above quote.

    (And this is what I said this: "Women want us to be good in bed but to do so means I have slept with a lot of chicks or with a few chicks a lot of times, either way its not the IDEAL she thought she'd get by exclaiming I MUST rock her boat as a huge point on her My Man Must Have List")

    I also said not to many women who claim to want a man that hasnt gotten aound much are going to like being his rainmakker. When he cant hold it in we will see how FAST the novelty of "he hasnt been with too many women" appeals when her girls are at the appendix of their sex stories and while she aint get past the preface.

    Look there are Pro and Cons to everything. Con for sleeping with a person who doesnt have sex frequently is (if its a guy) is he will come quick!!!

    To me this is the reversal of SBM Number and WOMEN wouldnt be able to handle it. Yea Her Stud at 27 has been with 3 women and hasnt been with one since the third one broke out back in 05

  30. numbers can lie though. I mean, if someone has only had sex with 2 people and 1 was a jump off situation and the other was a serious relationship, they're at 50% right there. I think the TOTAL NUMBER of people needs to be taken into account as well. cuz 2 out of 4 is 50% (slorish as writer said) while 10 out of 50 is only 20% but that seems more like a "slore" to me than the person at 50% with only 4 partners. But, I agree with Johnny McFly, clean is clean. You can sex 1 person and get something you can sex 5 and get nothing. THAT's what's important STDs and children (I'm just sayin)


Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Get SBM Delivered

Get SBM Delivered

Single Black Male provides dating and relationship
advice for today's single looking for love

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This