Home Dating & Relationships Sex Can I Get a Lap Dance?

Can I Get a Lap Dance?

61

Situation 1

Dude: Baby, why dontcha turn some music on and show me what you workin wit? Let me see them dance moves you were talkin bout, less all the clothes…

Chick: *Sucks teeth* What do I like? I ain’t no ho’!

Dude: I’m just sayin, I thought it’d be kinda sexy…

Chick: Nah, I ain’t no stripper ass chick. You need to go to the club with your boys or watch one of them tapes you got in your closet if you think it’s gonna be like that!

Dude to self: No wonder I gotta slide off.

Situation 2

Dude: Why don’t you go a little further below the waist this time girl? You know I like that kinda thing…

Chick: Do I look like your ho’? I told you I don’t do that. That’s nasty. You messin’ wit the wrong one if you think it’s gonna be that kinda party!

Dude to self: I can work your inner walls, but you can’t speak into the microphone a little bit? I can be a thin layer of latex, lambskin, or polyurethane away from impregnating you, but you can’t just hug me orally? Good thing your home girl does it.

What do both of these situations have in common?

Frustration.

There are some women out there who think they are above and beyond certain reasonable activities for their boo or significant other. The things mentioned in the 2 scenarios are a couple of the most popular, both of which require a woman to have some confidence. I think we can all agree that confidence is sexy. The word swagger has been thrown around lately. Let’s also assume that the average woman considers herself classy..at least I hope that’s the case. Yet somehow, there’s still a good chunk of the population that feels doing either of the things mentioned above somehow indicates a lack of class.

See Also:  Nerdy Women are Sexy: Talk code to me girl ...

I mean c’mon. It’s not like we’re asking you to let us deploy the platoon on your grill (Cuz that’s what we do the jump offs regardless of what they say.) Honestly though, there aren’t many things sexier than seeing shorty work the hips with some dance moves, end up our lap, and then take us to a happy place. It’s a win-win for both parties. For the latter scenario, it’s still a win win. If the relations overall are good, one should feel good makin the boo feel good. Unfortunately, a lot of folks still don’t see it that way.

Sometimes we need a little bit more than that mean ride game or that certifiable bangin’ throw back action. There’s nothing wrong with a woman exercising her confidence in a way that goes above and beyond coitus (pronounced sex). Thinking that one is above and beyond certain activities (within reason) is not sexy. A nose up will make the piece go down. Nobody wants that. And yeah I know, it’s a two way street. But I’m just sayin, can you put that shirt next to the Prada bag and show me what you workin wit?

Thoughts? Opinions? Scenarios?

Slim “Baby why dontcha” Jackson

Comment(61)

  1. @slim: speak to the microphone? lol..

    I for one if I'm dealing with someone have no problem with giving lap dances. it lends to fore play. on the other hand oral sex is something I must work my way up to. u needn't ask if I'm going to do it or push my head. because when I'm ready to "bless the mic" ..lol. you will know.

  2. I think most things are based on the sexual level of your relationship with a person. Most women will do those things if they're really feeling you on that level. The rest are just prudes and need to make a change. The worst is a female that wants you to do all types of nasty things to her but doesn't want to do them to you, for shame.

  3. You've GOT to know what kind of woman you get before you get her! MEN, you know these women: the princess, the ones that want to be "taken care of."

    Find yourself a WOMAN who has no problem satisfying her man, one who knows that it takes creativity and selflessness to make a relationship thrive. Don't expect these things from a jump off or the woman that "you are not ready to totally commit to."

    I have no problem doing any of this and more for MY MAN, but I refuse to do it to some ninja who can't even commit to only me.

  4. "Dude: Baby, why dontcha turn some music on and show me what you workin wit? Let me see them dance moves you were talkin bout, less all the clothes…"

    im sorry but since WHEN is this "game". Just looking at the larger picture i think men need to step their verbal skills up, if "Chick" needs to step her oral ones up.

    Most women of a certain age and respectability aren't just slobbin random knobs and giving lap dances while her girl pulls up the rear no-pun.

    What most of us want remains in the confines of a certain level committment tied to a certain level of sexu!ual, emotional and physical chemistry. There are some men who make PUKE at the idea of even sitting next to him on a couch much less on his lap, there is another who …well…ummm might get himself hurt cause he wouldn't be ready for it (physically).

    part of this has tons to do with the connection and level of attraction and the above. Part of it has to do with just all around smoothness and a level of imagination besides "let me see what your working with".

    some of the unimaginative stuff dudes seem to be throwin out is highly unorginal, overly saturated, and just plain sex!ually BORING.

  5. Its hard to imagine that they still make chicks that aren't completely down for their man sexually. Unless you just haven't reached special level yet and just don't know it. Maybe thats it.

    I don't get that "I ain't no ho" bit. Be a ho for your man…that's the fun part.

  6. I consider myself to be a very classy woman in public and I hold a great respect for myself. However, I have no serious boundaries in the bedroom when it comes to pleasing my man. I don't think giving oral or doing a strip tease makes a woman "whore like". There is no such thing. People do what they feel comfortable doing and if they're so closed minded not to want to explore new things with their mate… then maybe the "mate" needs to rethink things.
    As Jalia said…BE A HOE FOR YOUR MAN! lol

  7. @Comeback: I forgot dudes needed game when dealin with their significant other or wifeykins? I could shimmy into the room with a rose in my mouth and recite some line from Love and Basketball while some old school R&B rocks out the Bose speakers, then ask for the same lap dance. It's an entertaining thought, but unnecessary. Game is overrated if you ask me.

    As for the "be a hoe for your man"….

    Jalia said it, not me.lol.

  8. "I forgot dudes needed game when dealin with their significant other or wifeykins? "

    so dudes don't for random @zz…i would think thats when you pull out all the stops. i dunno just speculation.

    just making some suggestions…you know that way you ain't gotta hit her friend up too.

  9. Well, I dunno I say I do what you ask and always have.

    I don't know anything about this not giving head thing…I've been doing that too damned long to quit now

    AS far as the lap dance goes if I can do it in a club full of people then why not in the bedroom with the door closed.

  10. Two words for women who are in the above mentioned categories: GROW UP.

    To me it's a maturity thing. At 30, I'm much more…well… liberal with how I express myself. The closer you get to 30, the more the hooks fall off so you don't have so many hangups. And for the late 20/30 somethings who are still like that…. sheesh. I feel sorry for you, cuz you're missing out on living life to the fullest. Just relax and enjoy.

  11. @Comeback

    For random jumpage, yes. That is the time to go into overdrive at the club, bar, concert, social event, etc. I think there's a small window to close the deal sometimes and a dude has to be creative/articulate/T.I. to get the draws early. Good ol swagger and creativity can seal a lot of deals early in the game. That is agreed.

    But for Boo Boo Cuddlesworth…

    All that ain't necessary. Hmm, you may have just inspired a fresh topic…

  12. "AS Janet would say…relax…it’s just sex."

    i disagree wit this Jac…it being "just se!x" is why some women don't feel like doing everythang to randoms. I totally am for and endorse that message. It has nothing to do with maturity really..and everything to do with the level of imtimacy, physcial and emotional connection to your se!xual partner.

    If I was a man i honestly would be very turned off at a woman who would and could do everything with me straight out the gate with no level of committment. if she's suckin me off, who else might she be suckin..

    Slim made no mention of SO's..this is a FwB jump off situation..im a little nervious that some of this is like a one size fits all lap dance/blow job.

  13. I think as long as the man is doing things that you like as well… that he may not be comfortable with… then its okay… I know I am goofy as hell… and dont really feel I'm sexy if I'm sober… so if there is not liquor involved… I will dance but it would look more like a comedy show… but if when I ask you to do something your opposed then that makes me not want to do things that you enjoy…

    Hell I like lap dances too… but yeah right getting your boo to shake his nice tight football booty in front of your face for son… He'll say something about that being gay…

    I dont get the scenarios above because isn't the whole point to want to get your partner off, to please them… I have never said I felt like a hoe if I gave him a lap dance.. .I mean your in the comfort of your own home… how do you feel like a hoe… you aren't in some club somewhere looking for people to throw you dollars.

  14. @Eb

    lol @ liquor enhancing the experience. I call alcohol the Liquid Equalizer.

    Yeah, dude shaking "his nice tight football booty" does sound a little sketch if he's a manly man.

    To not getting the scenarios, I think the readers on sites like this are a bit more liberal when it comes to this stuff. However, the attitude is still displayed quite often. Perhaps it does change with age.

    @Comeback

    The dudes in the scenarios are not me, cuz that those things wouldn't happen to me. I screen em better than that. I just thought it'd be entertaining to use "typical male" language interaction. About that pole though….

  15. I'll tell you what…

    All the women that I was in a "relationship with" as short as it lasted, were the least likely to put on a show. However, those who I wasn't so serious about for some reason went all out! I remember getting a strip tease in college from one of my friends. It just happened one night. Then within the last two years, I've had a couple of ladyfolk break out a new Vickies outfit complete with heels only to have it ripped off in a manner of 20 seconds (approximate life of lingerie around me..I personally prefer skin).

    It must be a pattern that once you enter into a "relationship" that things get complicated. I wish I could say they get better but…the jump offs present the package better. Don't even get me started on the single mommies that "don't do that anymore."

  16. "It’s not like we’re asking you to let us deploy the platoon on your grill (Cuz that’s what we do the jump offs regardless of what they say.)"

    :-/ i think i'm lost on this one… if i'm going to "bless the mic" for my S.O., i want to reap the rewards too. i'm just saying.

    i enjoy both activities but it definitely involves confidence. I remember i giggled through my first lap dance because i was so embarassed, didn't ruin the mood cause he was just as goofy. if a man is pleasing you in more ways than one, then do something for him. wake him up with great oral, walk around the house or great completely naked him he comes home from a long day of work.

    a confident and classy woman is capable of doing just about anything for her man and still remain a lady in public. sexy without effort.

  17. @reign: ":-/ i think i’m lost on this one… if i’m going to “bless the mic” for my S.O., i want to reap the rewards too. i’m just saying."

    Umm, are you implying what I think or are you saying you don't get the reference?

    Nicki: LOL @ the mail order brides. I do have to scroll quickly at my desk to avoid any questions cuz it's kinda sketch.

  18. Oh wow…double you tee eff???

    I seriously cannot stand this type of stuff out of my sistern. I firmly counsel women to get with whatever your man likes. Come out of that box, remove the stick from your azz and get over your ridiculous puritan sensibilities. Chicks not giving head?? They still make those? Please! I will never understand a woman who will let a man put his peenus in her va-jay-jay (the cleanest organ on a healthy woman's body) but not her mouth (the dirtiest). Ridiculous.

    Word to the not-so-wise prudes: If your man (not a jump-off, which is something I don't even endorse anyway) wants a dance, you need to drop down and get yo' eagle on, STAT. If he wants you to rock the mic, you'd better get to freestylin' like you're in the Basement w/Tigger, before some much more willing chick comes along and handles that. Expertly.

    It's not about giving in or being demeaned, because if that's your dude, it's not like that anyway. It's about reciprocation and meeting each others needs within the confines of a loving and giving relationship.

    *hops off of tiny soap box*

  19. "Hell I like lap dances too… but yeah right getting your boo to shake his nice tight football booty in front of your face for son… He’ll say something about that being gay…"

    Yes! Got one on my most recent birthday. I was dancing with this dude — I mean puttin' it ON him — and then when I go to sit down and really rest my feet for the first time that night, this dude comes over to me and gives me a lap dance to Chris Brown's "Take You Down". And when I tell other males, they're all "That's gay as hell!" Shut up! There was NOTHIN' gay about him. Oh, but then again, how would I know?

    Aw, hell, who cares, it was good.

  20. CPT..i def hear…but for those of us who have been reading this site for a very long time understand the context.

    and half this scenairo has very little to do with a boo or a SO..the conversation doesn't even play out like that.

    which is why im tellin slim jim to bring the verbal game up a tad.

  21. Oh, if that's the case Comeback Girl, J.O.'s don't get to make requests or have expectations. Hell, they don't even get to talk.

    It is by definition a demeaning situation and no good can come from it. So take what the eff you can get and keep it moving. Hmmph.

  22. @ PBG i think most women would agree with you..minus those with some unresolved traumas or something..i think being with an SO should involve very little sex!ual boundaries…actually NONE…save for animals and other people.

    however,, when a woman is reluctant..maybe there is something wrong in the state of Denmark regarding all the other chemisties i outlined, mental, physical emotional…

    or maybe she just just senses some of this: (wk site Slim)

    "Good thing your home girl does it.

    "

    sometimes women pull back for things they can't articulate..its a real man's job to make a woman feel sexual!ally comfortable to be free of all her little hangups.

    lets call a spade a spade…sometimes women pull back because her "SO" ain't shyt.

    lets keep it real.

  23. @CBG

    You and I usually see eye-to-eye on most things, so I definitely can't even disagree w/you here either. My thing is, if I can't go "all the way" with it, I won't even bother. Why? If I feel any reservations, I step,unapologetically. All doubt and reluctance does is ruin my good time anyway.

  24. @Comeback: Can we let the verbiage of the scenario go and actually talk about what the point of the post was? I'm reading the comments thus far and nobody else seems to be wrapped up in the semantics of how the conversation would go down. Though if you'd like to offer some pointers, I/we would love to hear them…

    @PBG: You PSA is being copied and pasted to a safe place. Much applause. "If he wants you to rock the mic, you’d better get to freestylin’ like you’re in the Basement w/ Tigger, before some much more willing chick comes along and handles that. Expertly." <—This caused boisterous laughter at my desk. I'd like to add this to the list of things I'am grateful for!

    @CPT: Have some optimism! Someone hears it.lol.

  25. @ Slim: to be blunt, if deploy the platoon at a chicks grill means her shallowing… that's what i mean. it's even more rewarding when his diet is on point. yes we can tell.

  26. "Can we let the verbiage of the scenario go and actually talk about what the point of the post was? "

    Slim..verbiage is actually how you get what you want…but i guess that point is pretty lost. lol….as a mature minded sexu#ally free GROWN @zz woman who hasn't seen 24 in quite a while..when there is apprehension…there is usually some bullshyt lurking..but im quite sorry to get that notion confused with the boo and SO scenairo above.

    so carry on…sorry to bring that little aside in.

  27. @reign: Umm, I was referring to shootin the stuff on the face. But what you're suggesting is fantastic and encouraged 200%. Please, keep up the good work for that special someone!

  28. Jaila: "I don’t get that “I ain’t no ho” bit. Be a ho for your man…that’s the fun part."

    Really. That is something that never made any sense to me whatsoever. A hoe is a hoe because she has multiple partners. Nothing that a woman does sexually with her own man makes her a hoe.

  29. CPT Callamity: "I’ve had a couple of ladyfolk break out a new Vickies outfit complete with heels only to have it ripped off in a manner of 20 seconds (approximate life of lingerie around me..I personally prefer skin)."

    In the words of the late, great Barry White:

    Take it off. Take it all off. I want you the way you came into the world. I don’t want to feel no panties. I don’t want to see no panties. And take off that brassiere, my dear.

  30. LMAO @ Hugh

    Dman straight. I appreciate the trouble women go through in order to pick out a "hot"outfit, but I'm a simple dude. I don't even like my porn stars to wear panty hoses and other distractions. Give me nice and buttery brown skin with a killer shape. She could wear her high school gym shirt and a dishrag and it will come off quickly.

  31. Nicki: "Hey,hey.. there’s nothing wrong with pushing them to the side for a quickie or a lil afternoon snack!"

    Very true, but I was referring to a full course meal.

  32. @stank thang

    There's a new topic.

    This all goes back to the basic-being into you deal. If she is, she will get in the shower or wipe that thang down if you are coming over. That is a simple bathroom break, you wouldnt even know she did it.

    Once again, if your woman will let you experience her smelling anything but devine in those nether regions, dog- you are not important.

  33. "if she aint doing all the extras…

    shes just not that into you

    that was easy

    next
    "
    I miss you Business Woman…and thats wtf i was tryna say…sexually apprehensive women know something about their relationship choices that play out in HOW they are sexin, plain and simple.

  34. In regards to men doing it and if its gay … I reverse "danced" with a girl to "Doin the Butt" once … and I put it on her. It was actually one of my fondest college memories (I think so … I was drunk as hell at the moement).

    So … me being the super manly man I am (taps his inner thigh … down near the knee … if ya know what I mean) … I officially decree it not gay if its being done to a woman.

  35. @Comeback: Why must you be so negative? Why do you assume Slim is talking about the random jump off and not the love of his life? Man … can anyone win?

    And while I agree with a jump off … I think a solid FwB that you have had for a long time should be open to some "advanced" tactics.

  36. im not negative.. but the premise is DRENCHED in the eveyday ho hum of fuyckbuddification. Just a softer kinder approach…with "SO" toe tagged..its still fyckery.

    Why? Like I said before no woman who really loves her man is going to stop at a lap dance or even a pen!is monologue. I've never seen it. Even the most conservative woman gets DOOOOWNNN.

    I minored in women (studies)..I went to school with them. I AM A WOMAN.

    the only difference between a woman who won't do xyz and one who will …is

    tada…

    the man.

    sorry. It IS a "not THAT into you" kind of situation. no two ways about it.

  37. @Comeback: Lets be real … that's bullsh*t. There are some women who never gave head, never plan to give head, and never will give head. And while she may be coerced into it after marriage and several years of dedication … who is going to take that risk or put up with all that.

    Stop trying to make everything the man's fault … some chics are prudes and will for ever be prudes.

    And you didn't explain why you are convinced Slim was talking about a jump off …

  38. "Stop trying to make everything the man’s fault … some chics are prudes and will for ever be prudes."

    i don't deny there are SOME women who won't blow etc…but I am much more certain that sexual#ly repressed women ATTRACT bad sex#ual partners. law of attraction applied to the pillowtop. Personal repsonsibility…i mean i just eyed the scenairo above. "Let me see what you workin with..would def..turn vixen off much less a prude.

    "And you didn’t explain why you are convinced Slim was talking about a jump off …"

    i don't read with just two eyes…and when I do..i have no problem picking up jokes with element of truth:

    ie…"but you can’t just hug me orally? Good thing your home girl does it.
    "

  39. lmao!!! this post is hysterical but there is soooo much truth in it!!!

    i remember when i was growing up, the term of chicken head was really popular and i would not give my boyfriend head for NOTHING. when i finally did, i immediately jumped up and brushed my teeth afterwards… i digress…

    but i agree totally with you here. i think at some point, ladies need to grow up (as do men) and understand that when ur being intimate with someone (better known as fucking, screwing, jumping bones and bangin backs out) it's a give and take relationship. i mean, i feel like every woman should embody the "lady on the street freak in the sheets" mantra.

    i think that u also make a really good point as far as the confidence of women… i mean, your man is not expecting you to strip like white chocolate at magic city or rap on the mic like superhead but it's definitely good to give your all and do what feels sexy…

    insecurities=annoying & major turnoff…

  40. I had a longer comment typed but the computer acted up…so I'll just type one sentence:

    I still say some men want women to perform wifey duties without making her his wife.

  41. If I am in a relationship this Classy Lady, will give him a lap dance and anything else he may ask for, or almost anything. I know he will return the favor.

    This really has nothing to do with class.

  42. "Just not that into you" … I agree 100%. I'm not the one to turn down getting "cunnilingus" but I recently did, because I didn't want homeboys mouth anywhere near my va-jay-jay, and I sure as hell didn't offer…why you ask did I put myself in that situation…well I hate to say it, but once it got down to the get down & I seen what he was working with (or not working with) I didn't feel like wasting my time…

    so some women, aren't passing out free bj's…did you ever consider it could be because of size, diet, smell, or simply the fact she's just not that into you, and neither is her mouth, but with a condom, she may get hers and bounce???? Why is this so hard for guys to grasp…do you really think you are exempt from "jumpoff status" as well…????

  43. @DCDating: Nah, a dude can very easily be the jump off. That's not in doubt. I'm definitely not sayin every woman needs to Hoover a dude anytime he asks. What kinda world would that be?

    This topic has done well today. Shout outs to all the folks who commented. It's always good to get the grown woman perspective on stuff like this. I'm sure a few of the passive male readers learned some ish today and are probably now depressed about the possibility that she really isn't that into him. Well, you win some and you lose some. But don't let my wrap up shout out stop the flow. Keep it goin!

  44. "did you ever consider it could be because of size, diet, smell, or simply the fact she’s just not that into you, and neither is her mouth, but with a condom, she may get hers and bounce???? Why is this so hard for guys to grasp…do you really think you are exempt from “jumpoff status” as well…????"

    B I N G O

    nobody wants to hear it…sadly not even some of our fellow sistern …some times women can EASILY discern what they'd much rather fu$$k than su$ck..

    tough concept for many (read men..seen as jump offs with little to no sex#ual power) Shaft and all them films there daddy's watch told them otherwise.

    wake up. its not just about you and your "SO" toe tag..sometimes you just been trick#ed. And not in a halloween kind of way pimpin. LOL.

  45. I'm going with the "she's just not into you" rationale.

    That was what was going on with me.

    Usually, I just said…"yeah, it must be you". That was back in the day though.

  46. For one, dude shouldnt be with his chic if she aint down for him. That works both ways. i consider myself a classy female. I am smart, cute, and certaintly no freak. I will say however to keep my man happy i will do just about anything he wants. I love my man, and every just about everytime we get down he will have his mic blessed. He will get it even if we dont get down like that. Lap dances, sexy clothes, all of that. Women need to stop trippin. If thats your dude, then handle your business. I will also this my man, he's gotta do his part too. If he wasnt layin down right, if he wasnt doin the damn thang, then i probably would hold back.

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