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Rantings of an SBM


Since its not just me writing anymore … figured it shouldn’t just be me Ranting either.  So … I present to you the rantings of 3 SBMs.

Mr. FAQs

  • My birthday is monday…getting old.
  • Week went by hella fast and I feel like I did nothing…next week will be better
  • Why does the laundry in my building hate me? I have YET to have a wash with no problems…what’s up with that?
  • So this chick pimped me out this week…I’m not hurt but I am concerned…females are just as bad as dudes (just in case you had doubts)….no worries, its my next post.
  • Having difficulty getting my next player at bat out the dugout…she’s traveling for the next month, my week ended hell busy…she said she’ll take me snow boarding and get Diddy Reese cookies to make up for the bday…we shall see.
  • Going on a retreat in Big Bear this weekend, no snow so no skiing but it should be coo to be with the fam.
  • As I write this I sit at a Founders Day dinner…it truly is a beautiful thing…”TWO A’S WITH A BIG ASS PHI”

Slim Jackson

  • I was so intent on finding a new job a month ago. But as the economy continues to plummet, I realized my ass is better off stayin where I’m at. Ain’t no reason to wild out and end up unemployed cuz of my own doings. My college degree is worth about as much as the U.S. Dollar in Europe right now. EFFF (word)!
  • One of my teeth started feelin more sensitive than…well, either sex’s love organ after a few rounds of pokey or one intense round of oral delight. I couldn’t chew on one side of my mouth and went to the dentist. Turns out one of my fillings fell out. Also found out I need to have 4 wisdom teeth removed soon. One of them is below my gums and completely sideways. I just thought it never came in. Not only will this be a painful process, it will be expensive despite my dental insurance coverage. I’m salty as sh*t about this right now. EFFF (word)!
  • My alma mater’s first track meet is this weekend. Last year I was there competing as an unattached (post grad) athlete lookin like a machine. This year I’m not in competition shape and it really pisses me off. This goes back to that whole job dissatisfaction thing. I used to have time to train twice a day, now I barely have time to train once. I wanna be a long jumper again while I still got the youth in my system. Underachieving due to injury in college left a salty taste in my mouth (definitely pause).
  • I wanna join a basketball league, but I don’t know anybody who needs an athletic black guy to join their predominantly white and sloppy team. F*ck it, I’ll just walk in dribbling a basketball with athletic hoopwear on and someone will stereotypically add me to their roster.
See Also:  Rantings of an SBM


  • I have been listening to a very random assortment of music this week (at least for me that is).  For years it seems I just listened to Chopped & Screwed or Southern Rap.  I got a rhapsody account and access to whatever I want … couple that with hours upon hours in front of a desk … and suddenly you start experimenting.  I rediscovered an old love for Alternative.  Blink 182, Linkin Park (especially the album with Jay Z), Korn (they have a chopped & screwed album), and others.  Still hate R&B though!
  • I too like Slim am contemplating a career move … but damn this economy.  My parent’s have been putting the fear of God in me. “Boy … you better stay you arse right there … don’t you know its a recession.  Gotdamn Bush!”
  • Yesterday was Founder’s Day for my Illustrious Fraternity. 102 years … man.  Don’t worry you members of lesser frats *cough* Slim *cough* … you’ll eventually reach 100 years … too bad you’ll never catch up though.
  • I’ve been spending money … too much money … yet claiming that the recession is holding me back.  I feel kind of hypocritical making it rain this week (had to donate to the SBM college fund though) but then telling people I can’t go out to lunch because it’s a recession.  Awww well … I’ll get over it.
  • The recession definitely hit the shaka joint.  Place was practically empty.
  • I have been twittering like a mad man this week.  It’s addicting and I think I’m putting way too much info out there (when you twitter about dropping a deuce you know its a problem).
  • I went over to Single Sister’s Speak Out (where my estranged Cousin is a writer) and damn near teared up at work while reading their post on appreciating a man.  It gave me hope out there given some of the comments and blogs I encounter on the daily.  Jac even talked about appreciating your FwB … and then Nicki gave me a tissue from her bra … it was touching.  Choking up a lil just writing this … *whew*
  • I think I have decided that my official entrance music / theme song (Shout out to Awesomeness Inc.) is Young Jeezy’s “Amazin” … cause “B*tch I’m amazin” (yeah … feeling myself …)
See Also:  Baby, I'm Gonna Hang with My Former S*x Buddy...

Now that my theme song is done … let the world know whats goin on wit ya …



  1. I love the SBM. You guys have me officially hooked…and I've been lurking for a while, despite having linked you to my blog several weeks ago. I'll be around all the time now, despite the recession. 🙂

  2. Mr. FAQ – Happy Early Birthday. I've always wanted to go to Big Bear (too bad there's no snow).

    "My college degree is worth about as much as the U.S. Dollar in Europe right now."

    Slim get out of my head–I just told my mama something similar this doggone week. I call it the B.S. degree and it don't stand for Bachelor of Science either.

    SBM – its been a recession for several years but "they" only recognized it when it started hurting the rich folks. lol

    I have no rants because I'm doing like my mama told me to focus on the positive. So today, I'm finally doing what my mama told me 🙂

  3. Happy early bday Mr. Faq.

    Slim, I had all four of my wisdom teeth pulled out at once. It wasn't too bad, but my dentist had failed to numb me well for one and I felt it… she knew it when she saw tears fallin. LOL
    ***P.S. Plus the meds they give you for recovery are great! *** And may GOD bless you if you get food in the hole [took me back to a dark place!]

    SBM: Good look on adding the new writers, also… it's great to have a team.
    "Boy … you better stay you arse right there … don’t you know its a recession. "

    And this is how parents talk… I contemplated just up and qutting my job (and leaning on the LAWD) but my mama scared the crap out of me too… so I'm here.

    And thanks for the shout out.

    Okay, my rants:

    1. My boss is a d!ck and I promise if I could get away with it, I'd slap the F*** out of him.

    2. I need to work out but I have no time.

    3. Oh GOD, what will be my final grades in Chemistry and Chem Lab?

    4. Why come no one ever talks to the black people in my classes (all we got is eachother!)

    5. Why come there aren't many black students at my school…. PERIOD. (I shuck and jive at work all DAY!)

    6. I've got to start cooking again. I've been eating out a lot and it shows.

    7. Why is it so hard to be motivated to exercise?

    8. I'm sick of all my friends bringing their problems to me.

  4. @sbm : kids! (lol@

    @mr.faq: happy belated born day mine is in 19 days

    @slim: your degree isn't worthless u own it. take pride in that.

    rants/grants are as follows

    – I submitted my book for publishing this week.

    -i hate being broke

    -i think I want a boyfriend

    -sisters still missing and I had to go take a polygraph abt it this week…i hate the popo's

    -im becoming more domesticated and its sexy

    -and ex told me he loved me this week after 6 years of bs. I told him to hang himself.

    -my tree is up

    -i want a new tattoo

    gotta take thing 1 and 2 to school..ill be back

  5. @FAQ and SBM, I too celebrated 102 years excellence, sorry Slim, if you ain't Alpha you ain't …..

    No ranting today, I'm focusing my chee to the positive things in life, like actually having a job at all, people are getting layed off right and left so just to have one is a blessing.

    Mandingo part 2 on the site today

  6. @SBM No need to diss the good ol Purple & Gold. Dudes get the Alpha chapter back and wanna go throwin rocks.lol. You keep readin books. I'll keep beasting…

    @Nicki They better numb me to the fullest. I may have someone there holding my hand and whispering sweet nothings to ease my mind.

    @Akua I take pride in the shiny diploma frame. I'm just amazed at how much the field has been leveled as a result of everything going on. I can't even make reasonable jumps without having 12/12 skills for a gig nowadays. Grr.

  7. 1. I keep hearing folks talking about career moves and remaining stagnant, when my ass is happy just to have a job and realize they aren't cutting anyone anytime soon. Sit ya'll monkey asses still! If you hear through the grape vine the ax is coming…then you apply for greeter at Costco.

    2. Speaking of which, I won an award yesterday. Apparently someone thinks I'm doing a good job.

    3. I've been internet campaigning lately. Chatted with a few interesting young ladies but no meet up yet. I'd like to hit somewhere cool afterwork but I don't know anywhere to go to avoid pseudo-divas and chicks-with-men-at-home that like to flood lounges.

    4. My heat isn't working. Technicians are being assholes too. I respect the craft but $95 dollars (plus gas surcharge) for 30 minutes and then $30 each additional 15 makes me sick to my stomach. Space heater love it is.

    5. I watched "Zack and Miri make a porno" recently. Funny movie. Amazing that a big awkward jewish guy can create an entire slacker genre in films that keeps winning. I thought about it and then wondered where any films were that depicted black dudes like myself in awkward and funny life situations. Hollywood is a b*tch.

  8. MrFAQs-Happy Birthday.

    Slim-Keep your job negro.

    SBM-I am glad you enjoyed the post yesterday. I am sure I don't have to tell you that I feel all men deserve respect to their ideas and philosophies about life. Just because I don't agree doesn't mean I am not going to think you're not a good man and that you shouldn't be shown.

    I, umm, well I don't have any.

  9. @Nicki:

    The ole Captain can always throw on his beret and fatigues and give you a military style workout! You better motivate that @ss!

    @ Shelia

    You are right about that. I was calling it a recession last year. Teh idiots in the media and gument kept saying "we're not in one yet." I loathe Dubya and all his minions. Obama just inherited a poop farm.

  10. Happy early B-Day Mr FAQs.

    Slim, you're scaring me with the dentist talk. I'm more afraid of them than dentists. People always saying how afraid they are of doctors…please. Dentists are my monsters in the closet. Oh, and keep that job (for now)! Stick it out, man.

    @SBM – I think I'm the only one in the universe who does not Twit. I'm afraid at just how addicted I will become. We'll see…

    No rants, today! Only that my neck is sore because I slept all wrong on the train commute this morning. I need a massage-boo.

  11. @ MrFAQs: Early Happy Birthday… don't think of it as getting older, just better, sexier, and wiser. I'm excited about your next post about being pimped out, should be interesting (hehe).

    @ Slim: Good luck on the wisdom teeth, meds are awesome!!!

    @ SBM: Love the alternative music choices. My fav is Linkin Park, constantly on rotation especially when I am feeling frustrated. That Collision Course with JayZ is hott.

    I got my rants out last night, so I'm good.

  12. Steppin in and spreading love around the room

    1. I hate my job,
    2. I want to start another business, but am scarred people won't be able to afford me
    3. I'm horny, haven't had sex since October, but, I'm thinking about forgoing it for the rest of the year
    4. I need another degree, because my B.A. from my Big 10 college is too, worthless….damn, it, I knew I should majored in something more….errr lucrative
    5. Last night I had the perfect opportunity to be my amazing self with this former co-worker of mine who is hot, that I've been peepin, but I acted like a damn Shy Girl (WTF, the liquid courage did not kick in)
    6. I realize I'm blessed, I'm not feeling the recession. Just booked another trip to Jamaica in Feb, and I'll be there for New Years Eve…What!!!!!
    7. 2009 is the year of the DIVA. I claim all good things

    Love ya

    PS Listen to my favorite Artist….PRINCE, that will surely keep you busy

  13. "They better numb me to the fullest. I may have someone there holding my hand and whispering sweet nothings to ease my mind"

    You WILL need it. LOL.

    @CPT: "The ole Captain can always throw on his beret and fatigues and give you a military style workout! You better motivate that @ss!"

    I NEED military, screaming in my face. allll that. LOL

  14. 3. I’m horny, haven’t had sex since October, but I’m thinking about forgoing it for the rest of the year

    as if the rest of the year isn't less than a month. You will be back at it on New Years eve. Watch the draws drop when the ball drops.lol.

  15. @ Nicki: LOL…my teeth aren't Crest Commercial perfect, but they're in working order at least. I'm not at the point where people can't look me in the mouth, thank God. I don't like dentists, but I still go. lol

  16. I just had to comment briefly on the "It's a recession". I was chatting with my blogmate and real life friend (those exist!?) Ladebelle about this whole recession thing. It is my excuse for EVERYTHING. Guy asks me to "stop through, cuz girl you so fine." I respond: "Yea, I would. But it's a recession you know."

    Neo's hitting me up for "donations". "Yea.. I love you ladies, but it's a recession."

    Get to work late "I'm sorry! It's a recession out there!"

    LOL But that's just me.


  17. The Tahoe's Rant

    -being unemployed sucks
    -Cant go the shaky buns for awhile, was in the grimy spot last weekend and the place got raided by Philly's Finest
    -Dealing with the umemployment office is a lesson in futility
    -It can always be worse, be easy and keep the faith people

  18. Hi everyone…

    @SBM "I have been twittering like a mad man this week. It’s addicting and I think I’m putting way too much info out there (when you twitter about dropping a deuce you know its a problem)."

    Yeah next time i ask you what your cure was just say you drank some seven up or somethin… i still cant believe ya'll talked about that as long as you did. but dont give up twitter. ya'll are the only thing that got me through being called a batch by seven different customers yesterday

    my rants are pretty personal today so Imma jus say my little brother needs to get his ish straight an learn how to talk to family. as of this moment he is dead to me and i dont anticipate it being different anytime soon.

  19. @ Reign … It's hard, especially last night, when I almost gave a second thought to this guys lame a$$ pick-up line…but I kept it moving and took my A$$ home…I just think about how STD's are on the rise, then I'm un-horny

    @everyone I must really be behind on the tech scene, twitter sounds like it's the new crackberry (putting it on my to do list)

  20. *sigh*

    Ya'll are making it really hard for me to avoid the Twitter crack (DC Diva…it IS the new crackberry…in fact, crackberry is the pipe to Twitter's crack).

    Damn Don Lemon. He's the one who made me consider signing up for it one time. I'm gonna break soon…

  21. @Tonja: "teeth aren’t Crest Commercial perfect, but they’re in working order at least. I’m not at the point where people can’t look me in the mouth, thank God. I don’t like dentists, but I still go. lol"

    LMAO. Well thank GOD… can you have a talk with my cousin please? ECK

    "fastest way out of celi club"

    noooo jac. I'm stayin strong.

    I need to find out what the heck twitter is

  22. Twitter is the devil… but i'm good, if i go a day without it i forget about it.

    @ JG: I can imagine, no crackberry, i'm on that palm, not as addictive.

  23. @DC Dating Adventures:

    Cut it off now. Save yourself the frustration. Invest in latex. You should also brillo pad your hands into a rough surface so that you won't be tempted to right click your own mouse.

  24. @ slim

    "Dudes get the Alpha chapter back and wanna go throwin rocks.lol. You keep readin books. I’ll keep beasting…"

    COMEDY son…comedy…

  25. Hello Again,

    I'm still new here so I just want to add:


    Happy Early Birthday. And what's wrong with gettin pimped out? Unless it was for all the wrong reasons and of course…to the wrong person.

    Slim Jackson:

    Keep your job. I keep griping about my job (and I just started) but I get paid really well and shouldn't complain because it's a very easy job. No one is especially happy where they are at.

    I agree that you may be added to a basketball roster if you stereotypically dress yourself for the part. Can you play?


    I CAN'T STAND chopped and screwed. It's very aggrevating. Also, I'm not really feeling Rap. I DO, however, like Alternative (like the ones you listed) and I am a big fan of R&B

    Haven't actually started using Twitter as of yet.

  26. Rant:
    – I can't comment while I'm at work because our IT guy watches our every move like a hawk and deems what sites are inappropriate. Guess which category this one falls in…

    By the time I get on, the party is over. Booo.

  27. Slim: I think you might have to be a little more specific (please) cause there are 2 Sheila's (Shelia's) at the moment but we spell our name differently.

    Either way, I got the message.

  28. @Jac why not????? it's the only way I make it through the day

    @knappi im not quite in the that much of a predicament regarding commenting online but it's difficult to get away with at work so i have had to cut back…


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