*** SBM Admin Note ***
My newfound friends over at Rants of a Wild Child are holding a little … group activity … for bloggers. You are to pick another blogger that you have a crush on and submit your sexual fantasy about them to be posted. Go to their site for details. I tell you know … I will have the dirtiest, filthiest, most off the wall, swinging from rooftops with handcuffs type of tale this side of the Mississippi. I invite all my fellow bloggers to follow suite.
Monday’s post was so damn interesting that I struggled to come through with a strong follow up. In the end, yesterday’s content inspired this post in a roundabout way.
There’s a thin line between love and like. Both of the terms are thrown around on the regular. We may tell family members that we love them. We may tell our best friends that we love them, and men may even forget to say “no homo” sometimes when conveying the message to one of the fellas in times of crisis. Actually, a dude will prolly say “You know if you ever need anything, I got you fam. We a cohesive unit. We da best!” (hetero disclaimer goes here). Yeah, that’s conveying the same thing. That’s a different type of love in my opinion. Some may disagree. That’s fine.
But seriously, I think a lot of us confuse love with a strong level of like or desire to remain in our comfort zones when it comes to relationships. Some men/women are skilled at the art of gettin people to fall in love (Con artists make a nice clean example of how this works) with them. Hence, a fella being p*ssy-whipped or having that good stuff surroundin his member. Good stuff could be the ultimate mouth hug or the comforting security of the “love walls”. Dude ends up there afterwards flaccid with toes curled thinkin to himself “I love this chick!” No you don’t homie. You just really like the state she just put you in. Wait 20 minutes then see how you feel. I bet that feeling subsides.
On the flip, a chick may be gettin the most endowed enriched dose of vitamin D in history and find herself panting, tossing and turning, and clenchin her legs together while thinkin about that special somebody. Yeah, that person may be cool and decent looking. That’s important. She may tell her girls or close male friend that she loves him, but chances are she likes him and loves his stroke/face game. Ya see, there’s a difference. I won’t even talk about what happens when a dude snatches a v-card, since that was so long ago for most of us. Lastly, a couple may have been together so long that one or both people think they love each other, but they’re really just comfortable where they’re at. Regardless, this is some complicated ass sh*t.
I’ve found myself in situations before where I was trying to decipher if I actually loved the person (100% women. None of that flaky ATL stuff), liked them a lot, or if I was just extremely comfortable where I was at. One thing I’ve been very careful about is throwing that love word out there. It’s not a tactic I’d ever use to get the bunz. That’s how dudes end up in court rooms fighting restraining orders, fixing their damaged car, or waking up to their breakfast sausage layin detached next to them. For every action, there’s a reaction…and it isn’t always pleasant when it comes to love.
The sh*t gets even more complex when you don’t love the person that loves you or vice versa. How do you tell someone you don’t love them after they confessed their love to you? How do you handle being told you’re not loved once you put yourself out there. Unless you’re emotionless, those are awkward and tough situations to be in. Some would say “It’s about maturity. Next topic.”, but from discussions I’ve had with people around me of all ages in person and on my site, I’d argue that most of us don’t feel it’s that simple. I’ve even noticed that a few people who’ve been reading SBM have mentioned divorce and already dealing with a lot of this. I’d be curious to hear their input on this post.
I know this is turning into a ramble, but my greater purpose was to find out how people gauge if they love someone…if they even think about it. Some say love doesn’t require a thought as much as it does an emotion which people just recognize. I kinda disagree. I’m also curious if people have had the “I love you” dropped on them and didn’t respond the way the person hoped or vice versa and how that turned out? And another question, how many folks out there thought they were in love with the person and then realized they confused love with lust?