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Sike Your Life


Age seems to be this weeks theme…

Everyone has been played before, weather you realize or not or weather you choose to be in denial about it or not.  Its life, it happens, you move on.

I work in the entertainment industry and before that, was a guy who generally enjoyed going out and having a good time. Now, the only difference is that I am in LA and I get paid to be out on any given night surrounded by attractive women and the liquors.

Warning Sign #1

That night numbers were not exchanged. She rather forced me to take hers and relinquish mine and instantaneously I was left feeling how women must when dudes push up on them uninvited. She wasn’t unattractive but her “swag” was more than a little over powering. I chalked it all up to my fresh taper and took it in stride. I was feeling myself.

Warning Sign #2

“Where have you been?” These are the words I receive as her and her girls make their exit and pass me. My goofy/confused smile is met with an, “I’ve been looking for you.” It is at this point when I begin to thumb through the berry and discover a couple of text messages…from her.

Warning Sign #3

She hit me up the next day via text and I made a brief reply and ignored the rest. She was already bothering me and I really did not want to be forced to dislike a person I didn’t know. Two days later the same thing happened again. This time I kept the convo going made a conscious effort to respond 15, 30 and 45 minutes between texts, only to be met with those 15-second rapid responses. Sheeesh…what was this woman’s problem? I wasn’t even that fresh besides the taper and I used no charm what so ever. She didn’t even get to see the dimples when I smiled.

Warning Sign #4

“Send me some pictures.” What the hell. When I saw this, I knew immediately that this broad was officially on some other stuff. What is this, BlackPlanet? She’s acting like we had not just seen each other 5 days before.  I didn’t understand what was going on but what the hea, I was bored and needed a convo to keep me entertained.

Warning Sign #5

So I’m on the 101 South headed to this chicks house. I know I know, Mr. FAQs knows better right? Well the day you let a $100 bill lay on your front porch is the day you can judge me. Reflecting back I told one of the homies I should have known I was into something no good when what usually takes me 45 days took 45 minutes to get. This was the turning point, when my life began to get siked.

Warning Sign #5

I have phobias against spending nights, cuddling and sleeping in environments that are not my own, so I left shortly after saying I had to be in early the next day. As I’m trekking back up the 101 I indulge her in chit-chat. It would at least keep me awake. “It’s not personal, it’s a preference. I’m sure you’re a nice guy.” This is what I’m told once a 7 year age difference is revealed. Oh well, I scored me a Cougar Cub no need for me to respond.

Warning Sign #6

“So I do have a boyfriend but the next time he’s out of town, maybe I’ll hit you up” – received 4:37am a day later. The situation immediately went from uncomfortable to bad to worse. I was glad she had no clue where I lived or what I did for a living and only knew my cell. Thank goodness I left no piss on the floor.

Is this Hollywood Lifestyle going to my head? I did things I knew were unlike me and allowed myself to potentially been caught up in some crazy situation. This is why you don’t just go sleeping around with people you don’t know, because you do not know who the hell they are! Everybody has mistakes right?

I saw her last Friday at a table across from my peoples looking for her next victim.

– Mr. FAQs



  1. lol @ that sign!

    As for you – yeah, you should have known and boredom is never a good reason to go getting in the bed with someone you don't know! Just the thought of being in somoone's bed when you don't know their sheet or ass-washing habits gives me the creeps. Yuck. Don't do that anymore!

  2. How old was this lady…they makin em rather forward these days? actually i've seen worse tho by younger women..but this is the new vesion of PRESSED…dayum…what about taking cues and wanting what wants you. Im so old fashioned.

  3. Even if a dude gets J.O.'ed, doesn't he still win by default if he didn't catch feelings? I think the only way to truly have lost would've been to have gotten a case of the bumpies…

  4. Comeback Girl: I don't think she was interested in him like that. She only wanted to wet her whistle, and she got exactly what she wanted, now she's on to the next.

    Mr. FAQs: I don't really see how this was a mistake. You didn't want to date her and she didn't want to date you, you both got a nut…so who lost out?

    Oh and "jump-off" is not new…sheesh, I swear you West Coast men don't have a clue.

  5. Naw Sabrina…that was a pressed move..but i think women know when a dude aint feeling them like that..but instead of her just bouncing…she played it extra far. I would agree that FAQ became the JO, but there arent any real winners here.

    women arent natural predators for the hell of it..the goal is the same as a chick who can play her position..the outcome just doesn't always work in the pressed chicks favor is all.

  6. I know one thing for sure…chicks who communicate via text primarily make the okey doke list. If you can't pick up the phone once and a while, you're a loser in my eyes. I think I'm the only male with that pet peeve, and I'm not even a big phone person.

    So homie got played by an old head. Cool. Learn your lesson, move on and be careful next time. LA just sounds like a cesspool of scandal…

  7. Hilarious. At warning sign #4 I would have labled that number "Do Not Respond" and told her to kick rocks. I wouldn't consider this a mistake, just a lack of judgement.

    @Sabrina: I didn't know what a jump-off was either until I started reading this blog.

  8. Mr. FAQ's as long as you didn't feel "dirty" afterwards you weren't JO'd….awe hell who am I kiddin, you were JO'd…now do you see what women go through… a guy gets so pressed, get's it, then bounces…that's why women implimented RULES now…lol

    As long as you wrapped it up, and didn't want anything serious…you both got what ya wanted…ain't nothin wrong with that…

  9. "Oh and “jump-off” is not new…sheesh, I swear you West Coast men don’t have a clue."

    Oh, I thought when Mr. FAQs said, "that's a new one" I thought he meant he had never been a jump-off before.

    I would've given Cougar more playa props if not for her stalker behavior. She seemed more sloppily desperate than smoothly aggressive.

  10. Sounds like a good time was had by all … and if it doesn't burn to pee and there or no bumps (and I assume the hat protected the rest) … then more props.

    I am truly gonna steal "Well the day you let a $100 bill lay on your front porch is the day you can judge me." Truer words have never been spoken.

  11. Mr FAQ, I have to agree with some of the other ladies, it does sound like you were her Jump-Off.

    You definately need to know something about a person before sleeping with them…i.e., are they drug and disease free, do they have stalker tendancies, etc.

  12. I'm also in agreement with some of the ladies. You definitely didn't know anything about this woman before you hit it. You don't know anyone she usually has around. Didn't know she had a boyfriend. She didn't really want you or else she would have still been trying to hit you up. She got what she wanted from you.

  13. This is interesting FAQs. I meander in and out of the entertainment industry scene depending on how I feel, but I am well versed in how it works.

    I would think that you know how the groupee/thirtsty breed type chicks act especially if they think you got some juice. A laminated pass hanging from your neck, a sparkly wristband, a table sectioned off behind a rope-nonsense

    But usually those girls never even get the digits, or even get as far as having text convos with you all day.So in a sense, you brought it on yourself.

    How old are you?

    Not that it means much(it does) but the good ol' getting into shit cause you bored excuse went out a couple years after undergrad, where you have had enough of those experiences to realize they aint the way to go. I like to call it, easing out of insanity (doing same thang over and over, expecting a different result)

    Ease out babe…

    Now in other news, I wonder if I have seen you before? I will keep an eye out for the taper/dimples combo-but not really


  14. "Shelia: Is being a jump off a bad thing?"

    Well I guess it depends—if that's all you aspire to be–then no it wouldn't…but if you want more–yes…don't settle.

  15. I'm mad you said she was on to her next victim as if you were one. It was just sex…she didn't molest you. I thought this was ideal for men. Get in – get out – move on.


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