Jamal: “Uh … hello”
Keisha: “Hey baby … how was your day”
J: “Why are you calling me?”
K: “Your silly … what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn’t call my man.”
K: “So are you gonna tell me about your day?”
J: “You have got to be kidding me! Did you forget what happened yesterday?”
K: “We had an argument … but we have had them before. Doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”
J: *sighs* “Are you serious?”
K: “Baby … I know your not still mad at me.”
J: “Well … you did shoot me 4 times in the stomach with my own gun … and I think you spit on me too … I was only half conscious”
K: “I said I was sorry last night and even drove you to the hospital. And don’t act like you didn’t do anything. I specifically asked for two small cans of soup … and you brought me one big can.”
J: *pauses* “They took out one of my kidneys, and I went through 7 hours of sugery today … and you really expect me to forget already?”
K: “I did. I said I’m sorry. You just gonna keep holding onto the past?”
J: *hangs up phone*
K: “I mean how long is gonna stay mad. I got over it.”
Keisha sadly suffers from … Relationship Amnesia
A condition where a person in a relationship quickly forgets the violent, immature, dangerous, or just stupid things they did to their mate within a very short period of time (often 24 hours). Often characterized by conversations pretending like nothing ever happened, a refusal to let go, and blatant ignorance of the other person’s requests (stop calling me, etc). This afflicts males and females. In males it can be a symptom of bitchassness … in females it is often linked to “crazyness”.
Relationship Amnesia is a serious problem and is messing up the lives of poor individuals all over the country. If we don’t stop this epidemic soon … who will? Do you want to be caught off guard when your ex shows up at Christmas dinner smiling with a ham in his hand … as if the curse out and break up you dealt him for sleeping with your coworker never happened?
Relationship Amnesia exists in more than one form. You have temporary … and chronic.
Let me explain …
The temporary form may only happen once or twice and will usually be big. This is the girl who just doesn’t want to believe that its over … or the guy who won’t acknowledge that he cheated … you get the idea. Of those afflicted … some will, when confronted with their recent wrong doing … try and blame the other. You see how Keisha above tried to blame Jamal … because he brought a big can of soup. Like her being a trigger happy psycho way too emotionall didn’t have anything to do with it.
Now … the worst kind … the chronic case. This case inflicts those dumb individuals who are always forgetting what they did. They will curse you out … hang up on you … and talk about your mama insult your character … then call you the next day like nothing is wrong. Or … you might have been mad and did the cursing because of some issue (lying, cheating, forgot you at the airport) … the call ends … nothing is resolved … and the next day they hit you up like your not still angry. You may also have fits of selective memory … where their version never puts them in the wrong. For example:
“Don’t forget my birthday like you did last year … lol.”
“What are you talking about … I didn’t forget it.”
“Yeah you did … remember … you came over and saw the balloons and then apologized because you had been working so hard. Its not a big deal … we had only been dating 2 weeks.”
“I have no idea what your talking about … I never forget birthdays … ask my mama!”
“Baby … its ok. You went and got me that cute teddy bear the same day. Its aight.”
“Why you always gotta make me out to be the bad guy! I AINT FORGET YOUR BIRTHDAY!”
This dumb bastard poor guy suffers from … Relationship Amnesia.
We here are SingleBlackMale.net are concerned about this epidemic and the implications is will have to good honest people trying to hold good honest relationships. So … I, SBM, am starting the “Remeber or Die” campaign. We will soon have shirts, hats, shot glasses, thongs, boy shorts, sport bras, and condoms … all with the slogan printed on them. Every donation will go to purchase Gingko Baloba, notepads, video recorders, and phone recording devices for these forgettful bastards.
The first step is sharing … have you every had a fit of Relationship Amnesia, have you dated someone afflicted with relationship amnesia, is someone you currently don’t want to talk to still calling you because of their fit with Relationship Amnesia?
– This message brought to you by your lovable and concerned SBM