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Bad Breath. Never a Good Look.

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I was looking through the archives of my old website and came across something that was both relevant and humorous in the context of all our lives…unless you’re the person I’m describing. I don’t poke fun at those who fit the mold of what I describe below. I just ask that you do what you can to control it. Nonetheless, enjoy.

How does one cope with bad breath? I’m not talking about that morning breath, where you wake up next to somebody and you know that neither of you should face each other and speak until you’ve brushed your teeth (You can stay naked. Just brush ya teeth). I’m not even talking about that breath when you eat a lot of onions or garlic. I’m talking about that perpetually unpleasant bad breath that requires you to have mints at all times. The bad breath where whenever the person have a close conversation with someone, it appears the listener is not breathing anymore; or, they are looking everywhere else except at dragon. How does one live? How does one cope?

We’ve all encountered people with bad breath, just as we’ve all encountered people that smell awful. We have friends that have horrible breath. Chances are you’ve wondered if the person knows they have a problem and if they try to do anything about it. What happens to them when the listerine only lasts for 10 minutes? What type of life is that to live? Let’s look at some of the simple consequences of perpetual bad breath:



  • Unusually low frequency of spooning sessions. Nobody wants to cuddle up with someone that has awful breath. Well, some people will deal with it if the person is sexy enough or has a strong enough beat game. But as for the rest of us, who wants a dragon breathing fire down his or her neck (depending on who is the big spoon and who is little spoon. Do you even like spoonin.) Do you even like cuddlin?
  • Lower number of opposite sex phone numbers in phone or increased dormant numbers. If you meet someone out and you get caught with bad breath, you might as well have never met them. If they spare you the first time and you still have it the 2nd time around, it’s a wrap…at least in my mind.
  • Low job interview to offer ratio. Let’s admit it. People discriminate. Bad breath isn’t even a protected class. You show up for an interview with hot breath, they’re goin to have a less favorable impression regardless.
  • Unpleasant Nicknames. Most of the readers here went to college, or at least graduated from high school. We all had a dragon on campus/at school, or someone who immediately came to mind in the community when someone mentioned bad breath. Nobody wants to be known as the Human Blow Torch.
  • Shorter than average face to face conversations. This one doesn’t really need an explanation. This goes with and without sayin’.
See Also:  Raising a Gay or Lesbian Child Part 1

These are just a few of the effects of perpetual bad breath. I’m sure some of you can think of others. You can apply the same to someone who has a serious B.O. problem. Not just the musty pits after workin out. I’m talkin about that perpetual stankness. How do you break the news to ’em either way? How does one cope if their significant other has the problem (Assuming it’s on the “I can deal” list)? Thoughts? Scenarios? Victims?

Minty Fresh by Choice,

Comment(27)

  1. I have a friend that has had B.O. a few times over the last few months. Her son who is only 10 also has bad B.O. so I think that it just runs in the family (strong Ph or something). That's what they make clinical deodarant for….

    As for the bad breath… gum, mints, toothpaste in the car, mouthwash at work. Whatever. Keep something around so you don't end up with the McStanky nickname. Really, it's not hard.

  2. BB and BO is a major deal breaker. Kissing and cuddling are the all time favorites activities, and I am not one to let it slide by, I have no filter. Dude will be called out especially if he's got it right in all the other most important areas. I'm very honest so I'll let him know what the issue is and he needs to fix it! **said like Oscar Rogers on SNL** We may need to go on a "break" until the issue is addressed but I'm willing to work on it.

    I've been blessed thus far to not have met anyone so far with stank issues. Let's hope that continues. I did however have a friend in high school that smelled like onions all the time. She said it was because she ate onions almost everyday, like raw. And she knew she had a smell! I asked her why she kept eating since she's obviously sweating onions, she was like no one had ever said anything before and the guys hadn't complained… total lie, never had a bf, was only giving the good good.

  3. Lol…real funny.

    Well…I have encountered a few men with a less than stellar body scent. I have a friend who dated a dude which she thought smelled bad and told like err’body (not a good look) I kinda think she should have just helped the brother with some Axe or something.

    Other than that…as a woman I’m pretty meticulous about gum, Altoids (never know when you might need them :-O) and other stuff for the breath…as for everything else “Everyone trusts Dial” and so do I damnit.

  4. I know a chick with the breath.. I don't say anything but offer gum but since she has a man, maybe I have a nose problem (maybe I'm smelling ghosts???? LOL)

    I've never known anyone with a BO problem.. the whole thing befuddles me… there are too many good soaps and lotions around, how can you naturally have a bad scent? Maybe they should change the diet.

  5. This is a huge issue for some people, almost sad really. The question is do you tell them or just let it be? I'm so scared of being caught out there not smelling right that I always have some gum or mints in close proximmity, can't have people talking about me.

  6. "I’ve never known anyone with a BO problem.. the whole thing befuddles me… there are too many good soaps and lotions around, how can you naturally have a bad scent? Maybe they should change the diet."

    I know of a chick who one of my boys used to make shower before he came over to put in the smash work. Even after the shower, there was still a "strong scent", but it was far more tolerable.

    I've also heard stories of being able to identify someone's towel in the bathroom by how rank it smells…and that's a towel used to dry off after a shower. You'd be surprised.lol.

  7. "I’ve also heard stories of being able to identify someone’s towel in the bathroom by how rank it smells…and that’s a towel used to dry off after a shower"

    ?? towels need to be washed and dried well… just like an @zz. I guess my closing remarks are brush your teeth and wash your @zz good like your momma told you too.

    And if you still have BB..see a dentist or primary care md..sometimes its indicative of a digestive problem or worse.

  8. " know of a chick who one of my boys used to make shower before he came over to put in the smash work. Even after the shower, there was still a “strong scent”, but it was far more tolerable.

    I’ve also heard stories of being able to identify someone’s towel in the bathroom by how rank it smells…and that’s a towel used to dry off after a shower. You’d be surprised.lol."

    Oh my God! LOL.

  9. "towels need to be washed and dried well… just like an @zz."

    For some reason, that made me laugh heartily. I'ma find a way to use that in casual conversation when someone is talking about doing laundry.

  10. I usually offer the person some gum, some mints, (a travel size bottle of mouthwash…lol)

    Besides BB, BO is a definate turn off when it comes to the opposite sex. If you work all day, please take a shower before coming to visit me. There's nothing sexy about a funky man. Shoot, I'll even give you a bottle of my favorite smelling men's cologne – Unforgivable just to make it easy on you. LOL (disclaimer–do not add cologne over funk–shower or bath is needed first).

  11. Speaking of towels…this is one of my biggest pet peeves.

    Do not wash your face with the same towel you washed your a**.
    I totally stopped talking to this guy because I was at his place and he used the same towel he took a bath with the night before to wash his face. Now you know that Negro couldn't get a kiss from me and then afterwards, I started avoiding him like the plague.

    I'm not a fanatic but I don't use the same towel twice. Once I take a bath with it, after it dries off, it goes in the towel hamper. I'm done with it. I notice stuff like that too.

    Here's something that happened a few weeks ago:

    Went to the movies with the new guy. He asked me if I wanted something to drink or eat. I didn't, so while the previews were on, he got something—came back and handed me a sprite. So not wanting him to waste his money, I said, okay. Thanks. So during the movie, I took some sips. Half way through the movie, oh boy wanted a sip.

    I told him, sure, but you can keep it, because I didn't want it anymore. He got offended, but I don't drink behind anybody. Shoot I don't drink behind a family member, so you know good 'n well, I'm not drinking behind a man.

  12. "So from what I’m gathering so far, nobody outright tells the person they got a BB or BO problem? Everybody takes the more passive approach?"

    I pretty passive.. don't want to make it awkward or hurt anyone's feelings…

  13. Never had to worry about the BB – although my Korean food makes me abstain from people for 1 day following consumption.

    Now the BO – heheheheh…I have jokes about under-booby sweat and stuff…heheheh…

    Both aren't a good look. Both get you dismissed.

    @Shelia: Damn I didn't know there was towel etiquette as well. Thank Goodness I'm a bachelor. Women should be happy I use the cloth in general considering I read another blog started by a white person who asked who used the cloth. Most of the people respondent said they do not use a wash cloth. I guess Leonard Washington was right…

  14. Ehhh I'd tell a person they have BB before I tell them they have bad BO. I knew this young lady who, no matter where she was, you could always tell if she was in a room or if she had been there. Her BO was awful. When she rode in my car, I had to roll the windows down—even if it was freezing cold. (No way I was encapsulating that smell in my car.) Even when she put on that little extra hand full of baby powder, it didn’t do the trick. Her friends finally had a little intervention and told her. She, of course, knew about it and said she’d had the problem all her life. She refused, however, to go see a doctor. I blame her mother.

    I strongly believe that people with bad BO know they have bad BO—they just refuse to do anything about it. I think this goes back to the sad fact that Black folk, specifically, hate going to the doctor. Sometimes, it’s just necessary, though. That medicated deodorant and body wash should not be optional.

  15. "So from what I’m gathering so far, nobody outright tells the person they got a BB or BO problem? Everybody takes the more passive approach?"

    This is probably one of the most awkward exchanges between people known to man. It's bad enough that people automatically assume that just because you're offering them a mint, you're saying their breath stinks. Sometimes a mint offer is just that. And other times it's another way of telling the person you love that their mouth needs to be hauled off by a garbage truck team.

    As for BO. Well, can't people smell themselves? It's kinda like when you smell poop somehwere and you can't for the LIFE of you figure out where it's coming from, but it keeps following you. Then you realize — with horror and disgust — that it's coming from the bottom of your shoe. Same idea.

  16. Do not wash your face with the same towel you washed your a**.
    "

    I agree with this…WHOLE HEARTEDLY..really women esp..shouldnt be using a wash clothe or even soap on their face ANYWAY..but yeah the co-mingingly of @zz and face wash is bothersome to me.

  17. "Damn I didn’t know there was towel etiquette as well"

    LOL CPT – yes, there's towel etiquette.

    Oh I might not tell a person their breath stank, but I sure will tell a guy if he smokes, that I'm not kissing him because I can smell the smoke seeping through his pores. But that's probably the only time I verbally say something about bad breath…other times I hint.

  18. I'm very forthright when it comes to BB or BO. What kind of friend would I be if I wasn't?

    It's better to be upfront about someone's BO than pretend like it doesn’t exist. Besides, what if you're out with someone who stinks and everybody thinks that it's you? That happened to me once and I spent all night pointing to that heifer everytime someone made the "You Smell That?" face. Hell to the naw. Never again.

    If I'm just putting all my buidness out there, once (in high school) I was a little rank when I went to the beauty shop. Put funk mixed with hot dryers and well…you get the picture. So my beautician pulled me to the side and was like sometimes peoples bodies get used to their deodorant or product that they use and even though you are being hygienic, the product isn't working anymore because it is used to your skin. Needless to say, I now change deodorants every two to three months because she peeped me up on game.

    Moral of the story: If you tell people they have BB or BO, they might be more apt to take steps to fix their issue.

  19. "Besides, what if you’re out with someone who stinks and everybody thinks that it’s you? That happened to me once and I spent all night pointing to that heifer everytime someone made the “You Smell That?” face. Hell to the naw. Never again."

    This logic is so incredibly selfish that I love it.lol.

    I never heard the thing about switching deodorants. That's an interesting method to stayin fresh.

  20. I thought towel etiquette was something that Medea's of the world taught their grandchildren. But maybe not, as for BB I haven't had any incidents that weren't corrected by a few tic tacs or mints. Now for BO, I have to agree with Nicki Sunshine, there are too many shops and brands catering with smell goods,lotions, and soaps to have people still suffering from BBO!

    Once I had a dude come visit me and as we're chillaxin on the sofa in cuddle position. When I discovered his personal scent hidden with an overlay of AXE. I asked him politely too never come to any female's house without preparing himself properly. He definitely didn't get any nookie or cool points!!!

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