Welcome to this special holiday version of Rantings of an SBM. For you poor bastards in the office (while I’m grabbing some good shopping deals) and those of you that love us so much to come spend some time while on your vacation.
Slim Jackson
- Last minute holiday shopping is not the move. A 5 minute drive to a plaza took 30 minutes. I can’t keep havin sporadic high blood pressure. Being a Black male already increases the risk of serious health issues. I hate that stat.
- As much as SBM denies and refuses to try it, Rum Swizzle is one of the best tropical drinks on earth. Gosling’s Rum holds it down. I rarely drink anything else these days. Buy it. Try it. Love it. (Gosling’s did not pay me to say this. You just need it for the Swizzle.)
- It feels good to not have to write or monitor my blog for a few days. To all my fellow bloggers. Enjoy the time off, you deserve it.
- I.Love.Breasts. Have a good weekend everybody!
Mr. FAQs
- I hate United Airlines! First they canceled my flight (fine) then for an entire day told me I never purchased a ticket. Hope I can get back to LA ok.
- I love Houston, wish I desired to live here.
- My family is always full of drama and laughs, got to love it.
- My 6 month old nephew hates me. For 6 months I’ve heard he’s the “friendliest baby”
and all this lil negro does is ignore me. Guess I just gotta settle for the over the phone convos. - Next year I gotta get a Christmas Tree, never got around to it.
- Hope I can get some sales this weekend. Although I’m listening to people say “the recession aint in Houston.”
- Can we talk about how hype I was to be riding in the car and hearing screw on the radio…mayne.
- In the new year, I’m gonna try and say words like “patnah” “plex” “kinfolk” and “duck as nigga” more just to keep my ties strong and so when I come back I know what the hell people are talking about.
- I’ve been in town less than 48 hours and already feel like I need could stop eatting now and be good.
- Hope erebody had a good day with they kinfolk and patnahs and that they aint have to deal with any duck ass niggaz plexin. Happy Holidays fam.
SBM
- I really don’t know if I can ever deal with not having my family’s big holiday dinners and get togethers. I might be able to give up either Christmas or Thanksgiving … but I think doing without both would cause an issue. Me and the Mrs. will probably have to fight about this.
- I barely got anything this Christmas. I mean … I know its a recession … but … come on. I’m not salty and I’m a grown man … so I wasn’t expecting much … but … I coulda used a new bottle of cologne or something.
- My current situation is a little offsetting at times. I have scolded many a person for this in my day … and in true SBM fashion I’m not going to put my business out there … but I will say this … when your used to wild & crazy … and you get calm & sane … its just a little offsetting. **disclaimer** And with my past … I’m referring to no one person in specific … but a trend of several years.
- I think I need to learn how to relax. A common saying of mine on Sunday is “I didn’t accomplish anything this weekend”. I never realized the “issue” with it until my brother said to me … “What do you have to accomplish over the weekend? Its the weekend”. I then went through the laundry list … and he just shook his head and turned on the xbox … *sigh*.
- I heard a similar company to mine was offering voluntary severance packages. We just finished an office expansion. Why can’t I get a severance package? Ok … ok … I’m gonna stop complaining and count my blessings.
- I’m watching Will Smith’s “Wild Wild West” right now … God this movie is awful. Considering I attempted to listen to Soulja Boy’s latest album earlier this week … I’m starting to think I have some sick masochistic tendencies or something. Might need to see someone about that.
- I did practically all of my Christmas Shopping yesterday … on Christmas Eve. Kind of becoming a tradition.
- I love Priceline! As mentioned before … I’m heading down to ATL for New Years with friends. I got the whole trip down to like $500 before gas (for some sick reason we decided to drive) without staying in the SWATS or overall comprimising on how good the trip will be. BTW … staying for 5 days.
- Man … I can’t wait to party in Atlanta! Half because I love Atlanta … half because I just want to get out of DC for a little! I promise I’ll be good this time … no JO story like that other time.
Your turn
Christmas RANT!
@SBM… i can't wait for partying in ATL!!!
here are my rants:
~merry post christmas… christmas dinner at my house just ended and it was oodles of fun
~i cooked for an army and have hella leftovers
~not meaning to toot my own horn, but i did my thugdizzle with christmas dinner (salmon kabobs, rotissiere chicken, baked mac & cheese, jasmine rice with veggies… mmm)
~i'm exhausted but somehow still up
~i can't wait for NYE!!!! soooo much fun to come!!!
~i feel like i've put on all the weight that i dropped just within this dinner…
~i need to finish making my NYE dress **pure hotness**
@ SLim – WTF do men wait till the last minute to Christmas shop, (gives SBM the side eye).
@ SBM – I coulda mailed you some more tea..?
Glad you three enjoyed your holidays.
B.
Happy boxing day blog fam!!
My grati/rants are as follows:
It truly is Manicane season (works cited : Jolie Fatale) I have gotten more then my share of random dumb a** phone calls this month. and to think I was calling it SED!! LOL
– I am alive and I'm 28 now, that is a blessing in itself
– my kids had a good christmas
-went to Tuscano for my bday dinner..had 4 martinis (limit is 2) and a blow job (the drink..lol) and was so ready to be taken advantage of…but I went home alone.
– I have a crap load of stuff to take back..my kids got a bunch of duplicates.
@ sbm: what kind of cologne do u want? I got u..
@ladebelle: can u make my dress too?
I'm gonna be sooo good on my Rant today…
1) sad I didn't get to go home for the holiday, spent some of it with the "Old Man" who wants to be my boyfriend, who doesn't celebrate Christmas, cause he thinks it's the "white man's holiday"…instead he celebrates Kwanza. I think it was just a stupid excuse to cop out on buying gifts…although he did get me roses
2) I leave for Jamaica on Sunday, so that wipes out all of my rants…I'll be on the beach, sippin something nice, getting spoiled by Jamaican men for a week…did I mention I'm staying at the Ritz Carlton for hella cheap!!!! Life is good
Good morning everyone!!!!!
1) Xmas was good. We invited over the family that we bought gifts for… these four little kids were the sweetest.kids.ever. And well behaved (didn't have to tell them to do something more than once!!!!) I will def. be going to get them to hang out.
2) My goal is to lose fifteen to twenty pounds in five months… I hope that doesn't make me look like a crackhead…. def. not going for that look… but I need to be able to hold my own with those girls in Miami for Memorial Day.
3) I'm just now getting up today. Sleeping late is great!
4) Fortunately, I will NOT be shopping today.
5) Going out sometime this weekend, hopefully I'll get a lil manicane of my own. 😉
@ MrFAQs: Hey I live in Dallas and have to hear that language too often, at least you get to go home.
@ SBM: You are not alone, I'm grateful but I only got $50 from moms and some peach lotion from an ex-auntie. However, my 4yr old son got a PS2 and a Wii… yea spoiled!
@ DC: I think you are suppose to get a gift each day of Kwanzaa. The gifts are suppose to be handmade or something, but the folks I know buy gifts. So you can get him on that, lol.
My Rants…
– My 70 yr old grandmother cooked for Christmas… she should really stop, like seriously. So I have a huge craving for good southern food right now… cabbage, yams, dressings, fried turkey, brisket… yummy.
– I'm at work!!! it's not bad, 80% of the company is at home so not much to do. get to leave early too.
– I'm off all next week without the lil guy, so sweet!
– I have yet to make plans for NYE… probably just go to 610 and drink a couple of martinis and meet a nice guy.
– I shopped too much prior to Christmas so I'm not doing much today. It's going to be really hard cause I know BR is having a great sale… *tear*
– My aunt and uncle are in the country from Denmark for the holidays. She finally learned Danish and they had the nerve to carry on a 10 min convo in Danish. You know when it upsets you when latinos stop talking english and talk spanish so you won't know what they're saying. same thing. that ish pi**ed me off. sorry, it's a rant right?! lol
Glad to hear you all had a great holiday, enjoy your weekend!
@nicki: what diet are u gonna do? I need to loose abt 40 myself, these 14's are not what its hitting on…im carrying too much a** around!
Slim: Gosling's Black Seal is the ONLY Rum I keep in the house. It's so good. Try mixing it with some Stewart's Ginger Beer (it's soda, not beer)and some lemon. What do you mix in yours?
1) I spent the afternoon and evening of Christmas alone and sick and it really sucked lemur nuts. I had some charity invites, but I just wasn't feeling up to it enough to even get re-dressed (from when I came home after breakfast with the parents and kids, got right back into my lounge wear and went back to sleep). I slept about 18 hours yesterday. No exaggeration.
2) Trying to convince myself to get dressed and check out the after Christmas sales, but after being desperately broke for so long, I'm afraid to spend money (but SOOOOO grateful that I finally got PAID just in time for Christmas).
3) My BFF has been in town from London for a week and I still haven't seen her. And because she only has a UK based cell phone, I can't even call her. But she's sick (like me) anyway. Bollocks.
@Akua & Nicki: I've just decided peace with my azz. It's not going anywhere anytime soon…. and honestly, not sure if I want it to. The right segments of the population like it just fine. So long as the belly stays flat, I'm cool. I just want to improve my cardiovascular health… tired of getting winded walking up stairs.
@anesidora:my belly is getting a little fluffy which is nooooottt cool. I'm gonna try yoga. then start power walking again when the weather breaks. I'm not getting any younger gotta stay on point!
@Akua: My ex used to run track and he was telling me I'd have to work out five times a week and go on a diet.
I'm thinking about doing a nutrisystem diet bc I don't have time to cook the foods myself.
What are u gonna do?
@anesidora: Girl, my belly is not flat!!! I have a pooch for days… if it was flat, I would not have been pressed.
@nicki: I did weight watchers over the summer and lost 30 lbs. so I may attempt to go back on that.
I have all the books I simply lack to motivation!
I was walking 2 miles a day in the summer belly was toned and wasn't even worried abt all this junk in my trunk…lm a figure something out I have 2 formals to go to in the next 60 days gotta get it together.
@akua: Is weight watchers good food? I just researched it and saw that the food is nasty.
I wish I had more junk back there!
@Nicki… WTF are you trying to lose weight for? According to your picture you should be in a holding pattern.
Let's see:
– My heat is working so I don't feel like a squatter.
– I've been off all week and forgot what it was like to be a lazy bum. I still can't bring myself to go anywhere that other humans congregate during daylight.
– I didn't get a chocolate lady for Xmas but oh well.
– If anyone wants to have a drink with the old Captain, let me know. Seems to be the only thing I can afford on vacation.
@CPT Callamity: What on earth is a holding patterns?
I could stand to use a few. Trust. I bets NOT go out rocking a two piece at this point.
U didn't get your chocolate lady and I didn't get my Mandingo. WTF?
@CPT…your heat still dosen't work? You've been ranting about that going on 3 weeks now.
@FAQ…by the time you come down next year, we'll be saying some other crazy mess in the "souf".
Rant:
Every year I get SUPER excited about New Years Eve Plans…but it never seems to live up to the hype.
@Nicki Your ex who ran track is on to something with the weight loss suggestion. I ran track as well, and that really is the best way to do it and keep it off.
@RunningMom I mix it with all sorts of tropic juices. It never fails me. I'ma have to try this ginger beer thing that you speak of. Sounds like a quality beverage.
@Bam I really didn't intend to wait until the last minute. It just happened that way this time. Won't make that mistake as badly next year.
I feel behind in the blogging world after not having internet access for 2 days. I needs me some internets!
@nicki: I didn't eat the food. I was on the point system where u eat whatever u want based on ur points for the day. I gave up soda's and drank water so that I could have more of the foods I liked. I have the books its pretty cool. u figure out ur points based on ur weight and then u go from there.
@Slim: I ran track too!!!! I just have a kinda bad knee now so running is hard on it. I've been doing stuff to workout though.
@Akua: Hey chica. what's the book called? I need that. 😉
I need to decide how much I really want to lose though.
@Nikki…sorry, my military/tech talk…I forget my audience sometimes.
Holding pattern = stay where you are
@Knappi
It got fixed on Xmas Eve, so I'm good now. Now I can be a nice and warm alcoholic.
@nicki: its the weight watchers dining out guide and complete foods a-z its two books then there are phamplets it was all part of the travel kit I got when I signed up. I basically ate what I wanted but not as much sometimes I snuck sweets because u can't tottally deprive urself but it worked..i was sexy..now I'm a tubster again..lol
@CPT Callamity: why thank u sir. 😉
@Akua: thanks chica. I'm googling it!!!!
where are you gonna be in the atl?? I can't find anything that sparked my interest..guess I'll be home with my new year tiara ringing in the new year in da HOUSE!