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America’s Online Love


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SingleBlackMale.net will be taking New Years Day off … and maybe Friday too if I’m not over from the hangover of NYE in the ATL!  Don’t miss me too much … check the blogroll … plenty of good stuff for ya.

It feels so good to have internet access in my life once again. While I was at home for the holidays, my Blackberry was having network issues and I couldn’t find any unsecure networks to hop on and get my daily fix. I was struggling. Luckily for me, I went to my cousin’s crib and he had the high speed stuff upstairs. I lost myself in the e-world and became anti-social for about 35 minutes before returning to the real world. I must’ve looked high when I came back downstairs. It was seriously heroine in my veins.

As I was perusing the net, I logged into all the usuals: Three Ways, Gmail, SBM, Facebook, Black Planet , AIM, Twitter, etc. Each site was like injecting just a bit more wholesome goodness, until Myspace gave me a temporary buzz kill. Ever since I updated my location and changed my pic, I’ve been getting an influx of add me requests, messages, and generic comments. I log in like every 3-4 days just to clear things up and make sure I didn’t miss a message or friend request from the woman of my dreams…sike. As I was cleaning up the inbox this time, I noticed a very dark picture and someone telling me they lived in Boston and what phone number I could reach them at. At this point, I was pretty sketched out. I had already deleted an assortment of “hey cutie” and “maybe we can hang out one day” messages, but this one was different.

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Out of curiosity, I went to the person’s page where I found no other pictures but noticed all 10 of the person’s friends were dudes with shirts off. I also noticed the person had relocated from Atlanta. This was enough to tip me off and scare me away. Request deleted and my high fading, I left Myspace only to return a few days letter and notice another message from this person. This time it was “so I guess you’re not gonna call me are you?” as if this wasn’t evident in my lack of response the first time. I’m a heterosexual male! There’s nothing in my profile that indicates I wanna meet up with men off the internet to engage in acts of parfaitness! My friends are a combo of men (fully clothed) and women (some scantily clad). My profile says interested in women and my about me isn’t ambiguous at all. I’m from upstate NY, not ATL, DC, or San Fran (No disrespect to any of those wonderful places). I mean damn, to each their own, but leave me out of your e-tomfoolery.

People are really bold online nowadays, especially in the slums of Myspace. Whether it’s the homie (not that there’s anything wrong with that) hoping I’m on the DL, or the women throughout the country telling me I’m sexy and that we should talk sometimes, I get equally as weirded out. Anonymity does wonders….then again, these people aren’t really anonymous. And no, I’m not full of myself. I’m sure many of the folks here get these messages on the regular even with the ante-upped privacy settings.

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It just amazes me how open and willing people are to begin something over the internet that materializes into an in-person interaction. Even with all the crazy stories that we hear, people are still willing to look for love and pleasure online. Not me, not I. I think people are a bit nutty out there. But again, to each their own.

I’d be curious to hear some of the online horror or funny stories that people have encountered on sites like Myspace, Blackplanet, and Facebook. Some of us can probably just log in and then copy/paste what was said. I’m also curious as to why people are so willing nowadays to seek love on the web? Let it all out folks. You know you want to…

P.S. Let’s try to keep it somewhat PC.


  1. My boss met her husband on Match.com.

    She swears by it.

    She's also white.

    Not my thing but, hey, if it floats your boat…

    Happy New Year Good People!

  2. Slim,

    I shared your pain last week when I went a full week without internet access. Good thing the Blackberry was in full effect and working.

    I've met my fair share of strange women from using the internet. Craigslist was the main culprit/hookup that I used. I finally swore it off since most of the people that I would meet from it had issues.

  3. I know lots of people who have met their soul mates online. will I fall for it? I don't know.

    morning all…

    @slim:u get high off the internet, I need shoes to get a fix..lol

  4. I know someone who met her current live-in boyfriend from match.com, but I have never tried it. Met a few folks online, most of them just friends, some turned into more later. One guy I met because he was interested in a book I read, then we discovered we work out at the same gym, then we started dating after we decided we were both normal folk..

    Horror stories…There was this one guy I went out with one time. He took me to dinner and a movie. After the movie he asked me when I was going to have sex with him. Cause, you know, he wasn't going to wait a long time. ::blank stare::

    It has to be at least 2 years since my last online-meet-date. I think I would just rather meet someone the old-fashioned way.

  5. I met my first boyfriend (I was 19) on Blackplanet.com. That was looonnnnng ago.

    At this point, I'm scared to death to hook up with a guy online. I signed up for match.com for a weekend, but they kept sending me duds (one guy said he recently lost 200 pounds or so!), so I deleted it immediately.

  6. It's amazing how much chutzpah people have in front of a computer, anonymous or not. I have had random guys send me mass "Hey Beautiful" messages on myspace and then I have also had those "I had the biggest crush on you in school" type messages. The CRAZIEST myspace message I have ever received was from a female high school classmate who told me she had always had a crush. I was floored because in high school I didn't even know she was gay and now she is a full out stud. Modern technology is definitely a gift and a curse.

  7. I deactivated my Myspace account because of that. All I got was worthless spam, creepy messages from guys near and far, and the occasional friend from HS that also was on facebook, so what's the point of Myspace? Delete! I used to get ones from guys at my university that'd say like "Oh I think I saw you at this party, you were so hot, I wanted to find you on here"…wtf?! If that isn't a way to creep a girl out, I don't know what is.

    But, with all that online dating business, I just can't get into it. Where I currently work, I swear about 50% of the people are on match or eharmony, and lots have met their husbands, fiances, girlfriends/boyfriends, fwb's on there. Personally, it creeps me out. I've heard a lot of married men go on there, too. That's ALL I need is to be "matched" with someone who already "met his match."

    I don't know, I think I'm still young so I hope to God I don't have to be desperate and give in to these dating sites one day. We'll see.

  8. Yeah, I think like anything that seems taboo at first, once it gains popularity people once skeptical jump on board.

  9. Yes, robots technology is taking over every major aspect of our lives. Ol' Rimless-frames Larry Fishbourne in the Matrix was right. Think about it, texting is rapidly taking the place of face-to-face (hell, even ear-to-ear) communication, so online dating fits in the order of things.

    This technology takeover makes me fear that one day ninjas will have their first date over webcam.

  10. @ Slim: There is a website I'm going to hip you to where us brothas have divulged our Myspace/BP horror stories. I'll have to send it to your email if you don't already know. You'd bust a gut laughing at what most people have said on there.

    Online dating was fun when I was younger, now it's just too time consuming and people still don't know what they want.

  11. @Slim: I think people do it bc

    1. it's quick and it's convenient.
    2. U easily recover from rejection on the 'nets. (ex: man in the club, getting a "not interested," vs. a man on the 'net getting no response.)
    3. False sense of security.

  12. Yeah I know what you mean. When I don't have access to the internet I don't even feel like a real person.

    My worst internet experience was when I broke the passcode to my boyfriends myspace page and found out he had a baby on the way. It was kinda cliche because I never really cared what he did, but that did kinda break my heart.

  13. @CPT Email me at slimjackson@live.com

    @Danielle That pass code cracking always leads to something unpleasant. I'm kinda curious what type of info was in his Myspace account about having a seed on the way. Seems like something he would've been discussing on the phone or via email instead.

  14. We'll she was sending him messages trying to get him to contact her. Apparently he had been ignoring her for quite some time. Once I introduced myself to her she came out with that info. He said he thought she was lying. BLah, blah, blah.


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