I was talkin’ to one of my boys over the weekend. He had been helping one of his boys solve some relationship drama over the last week or so and came to an epiphany about the power struggle between men and women in the context of dating. By the end of our discussion, I had a fresh blog topic for the readers of singleblackmale.net.
Men know when it’s time to end a relationship more quickly than women, but it’s a helluva lot more difficult for a man to get out of a relationship than it is for a woman.
Sounds controversial doesn’t it? I was hoping so. When he first started explaining his theory, I was hesitant to cosign. Being that I have a lot of female friends, I’ve played counselor and consultant to quite a few women who have been trying to leave a guy but just can’t. In my mind, there was no way in hell that I thought it was more difficult for a man to bounce when he’s unhappy, especially cuz a lot of my brethren just have that emotional/mental switch that allows them to shut down on demand. Everybody knows a cold-hearted bastard. I’ve been that guy before…with good reason of course.
His point started to make sense as he continued to elaborate. I thought of how many times I had been complaining to one of my boys or vice versa about wifeykins and how I/he had had enough of her bullsh*t. One of us was determined to break up with the person cuz things sucked. We get off the phone confident that we’ll put the kabosh on the relationship…then 2 days later we call our homeboy back:
Friend: Yo, what’s good man?
Slim: Not a thang. What’s up?
Friend: So yeah, about shorty..
Slim: Uh oh, what happened?
Friend: Well, I told her things were a wrap…
Slim: Good, but you sound hesitant.
Friend: Yeah, I told her over the phone but she said she wanted to talk about it face to face.
Slim: Oh no. Please tell me you didn’t!?
Friend: Yeah man, the sex was reckless. We’re still together.
Slim: Damn you! Damnnnn yooouuuu! Can’t you just keep your d*ck in your pants for the one day that it matters?!
Friend: I know. Shut up dog. This was you 6 months ago. You were still with shorty til like 2 months ago.
Slim: Oh yeah, you’re right. Umm…soooo.
The evil but oh so good vajayjay strikes again. Dude wasn’t able to leave shorty for 3 (dumb) reasons:
- He was gettin’ the beats
- These were consistent beats
- He’s actually a nice guy and didn’t wanna be an @sshole.
And this is the type of stuff that leads dudes to end up gettin hurt in the long run. Cuz now dude has taken her back and is steady with her, but if she reaches the decision that it’s time to break up after her single/unhappy friends convince her the ish will be over and his feelings will be tattered. She’ll be moving on while homie is like “what the f*ck, you can’t give me another chance now?”, soundin all emotional and sh*t. It’s awful. Quite awful.
The ultimate point my boy was making is that men stay in relationships for longer times for more stupid reasons than women. Usually, one of her orifices is responsible for his poor decision-making and ultimately she ends up in control until she decides to call it quits. Men need to take a stand against the vajayjay and keep our special tools tucked away if we truly want to get out of a relationship. Otherwise we’re fighting an uphill battle unless she cheats in which case we’re done cuz we’re wayyyy more territorial when it comes to sex.
So good readers, what do yall think about my friend’s theory? Is it true? Is it a bunch of BS? Is it the exact same for both sexes? Let’s get the ish sizzlin!