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Rantings of an SBM


Mr. FAQs

  • Is a donut any better for you if you walk .6 miles to get it?
  • For two days I went on a Taco Bell Fresca taco craze…on the third day my body said it was displeased.
  • I hate for (good) books to end.
  • I feel like the Houston Comets. My championship teams are nothing more than a blurb on wikipedia and my franchise no longer exists. I’m dwelling below the Lottery Teams. Think about it…
  • I was a resident of Downtown DC during Bushes ’05 Inauguration and yea, I don’t even remember anything about the day besides the government being closed and I don’t really remember that, just an assumption.
  • I’m headed to DC in a couple days with mixed emotions. I’m not a fan of cold weather, crowds, airports and public transportation. What was a thinking right? And every person I’ve ever meet in life and some are going to be in DC. But amist the anxiety, def happy to get back to the east coast and  see some of my peoples and yea, estatic for the reason we all converge.
  • After DC, few days in ATL-shawty! Again, more peoples and fam to see, should be coo.
  • “How’s LA and your constant quest for pussy going?” Interesting words from someone who in 5 years I never asked for pussy. Her heart? Might have hinted at that at one point or another but def never asked nor got the pussy :/ .
  • I’m developing a Business Plan with some of my boys from home. It would be so much easier if facebook, gmail, google groups and google docs were not our means of communication. How soon before I can halogram to ish like wil.I.am?
  • TV on DVD has got to be the greatest thing since they started making talking picture shows.
  • My cousins lost their grandmother and I didn’t think to reach out to them until after my Moms told me she went to the funeral. I  am particularly disappointed in myself because they live in DC and MD so Sunday dinners, Thanksgivings, Easters, summer pool parties and any point between  you see your family was spent with them.
  • Speaking of family, looks like after awkwardly running into some of them at Christmas dinner that me and atleast some of my family in LA are finally acting like we know each another after 7 months.
See Also:  Rantings of an SBM

Slim Jackson

  • This week was long and cold and dry. Really cold. Had to apply extra layers of lotion in the morning and at night to avoid turning into an itching machine. Not looking forward to the arctic blast coming through this weekend. Videogames, movies, alcohol, and warm foods will keep me toasty.
  • These new gatorade commercials showing the new brand logo don’t make me wanna drink it anymore than I did before. I personally think they wasted millions on this campaign.
  • Monday is a floating holiday for my company. I wanna be like “I’ll work Monday if you give me Tuesday off?” Maybe I should just take both days off? I dont know. I got til close of business Friday/today to make a decision.
  • I need to invest in my wardrobe. I started the process by copping a sweater from Macy’s online. It arrived and it fit. I think I can do this online shopping thing.
  • I’m still tired, but not as tired as I was last week around this time. This is progress.


  • I don’t know what exactly my plans are going to be for Inauguration … but I know that I’m going to do something.  There are people traveling across the country to come here … so … I need to be taking advantage of my proximity to the Capital.
  • Work has been killing me … so happy we get to telework next week because of the “madness”.
  • It’s really late now … got a meeting in the morning … I’m done ranting.  I’m alive … so life is pretty good.
See Also:  Rantings of an SBM

Your turn peoples … RANT!


  1. hey everyone

    ok here it goes

    -heard from the publishers they want to meet with me february to discuss publishing (yaaaaayyy me! i'd like to thank Jesus and my momma! lol) thank u to everyone who sent prayers up for me.

    -ok now that I have a call back I gotta finish the damn book and guess what a hooker has writers block! I can only seem to write poetry not dialougue…freakin bs ill tell ya!

    -i like mr.texas and he likes me. I'm trying to sabotage myself to keep from falling for him and I'm trying to find something wrong but alas I cannot as of yet. trying to look at the glass as hlf full not empty as hell

    -class is really f'ing with me I think homework is a tool of the devil

    -my mom had another transfusion this week the whole idea of someone elses blood grosses me out but thank u to whoever donated it cause u saved my mommies life and I need her.

    -kids on punishement = they are really on my nerves

    -filed my taxes refund is burning a hole in my pocket and I didn't even get it yet!! I want these Gucci boots but the grown up thing to do would be to open an ING acct with the money..lol

    word for the day: FAWAHODIE meaning independance from opression (adinkra)

    so excited about obama I'm a cry again on Tuesday.

    aight ill be back I'm going to bed.

    -wait why is lil wayne on this reggae track? wtf? ok yea I'm gng to bed!!

  2. -Excited about this artist I'm representing. He painted this new Obama piece…yall have to cop one! We're working on the site right now…it should be up in a few days.

    -Feeling really happy about being single! I'm hearing about too much drama and am thanking God I have none right now. Thank goodness for Mr. Duracell though. Not dating and not looking to for the first time in my life. I finally feel complete in and of myself and wish everybody could have this type of peace.

    -Joining Weight Watchers starting Sunday. Thinking of doing a blog on blogspot since I don't really have time for WordPress right now.

    -Struggling as to whether or not I should audition for BET's "Sunday Best" in Chicago next weekend. Leaning toward NOT since I'm having some issues with church right now. I soo need to go back though, I just hate the dichotomies that exist therein.

    -This deep freeze &^%$&^%$# &^% is for the BIRDS!!!! -50 DEGREES??? Are you effin KIDDING ME???

    -Why do "Our People" spend so much money on dumb s$%t? There's a cat that lives next door to my homie that drives a damn ESCALADE living in a run down apartment building. Ninja please. Not to mention the chick I used to work with on section 8 with 3 babdydadies that bragged about buying 7 purses off coach.com. Dumb trick. Gawd, i know I'm judgemental but I ain't tellin nothin but the truth.

    -I'm sooo glad for the Obamas and can't WAIT till next week. I felt a little lump in my throat when I read that he would be wearing a bulletproof suit.

  3. I'm glad I stumbled across this site. I have been searching for a site like this for about two weeks now. It was way too easy to find dozens of female sites articulating their points of view regarding love, sex, and relationships, but I ran into several stumbling blocks finding a balance of male perspectives. (Especially since, to be frank, half the male blogs I ran across on this subject was little more than a lame internet excuse to trick some gullible broad into a blind, Hell Date rerun.)

    I haven't had a chance to catch up on many of your past posts yet, but I love the tone and the slant of the site, completely. You have a new subscriber.

    Having said that, this would be my rant…how depressingly hard it is to find "different" perspectives online.

    Good luck for the new year.

  4. Good Morning!

    Congrats Akua!

    1. I am feeling like Golden Lady, Single is not so bad.

    Welcome Black Critic.

    Anywho, rants:

    1. It's cold as hell… so cold that my nose runs as soon as I get inside in the warmth.

    2. Did I mention I abso-freakin-lutely hate the cold?

    3. My Psychology professor has a thick accent from Germany. Jesus be a translator.

    4. My Spanish professor came in speaking espanol OFF TOP. Again, Jesus be a translator. I haven't taken Spanish in three semesters.

    5. I am taking my car to get painted today and I'm sick of my parents negative opinions… didn't the painter KNOW it was going to be freezing when he gave me an estimate two days ago? When did they start being professional painters? And why is everyone trippin if there is a lifetime warranty. AND MOST OF ALL: Why is everyone trippin if they are NOT the ones paying for it? ****SWEET BABY JESUS HELP ME ****

  5. Welcome to the site TBC. Make sure you share it with your peoples as well.

    @Golden Soo, about that duracell…..

    Oh yeah, and when you said artist, I assumed you meant music. Silly me. I forgot where "artist" started before hip/r&b.

  6. Yo.
    3 Rants.

    1. It is -12f outside. Windchill -25f to -30f.

    2. I have to go to work, BUT ALLLL MICHIGAN SCHOOLS ARE CLOSED! (You know I had to be mean and wake my sister up JUST because she doesn't have school.)

    3. I will be hitting the road at about 3am heading south – but not to DC. AND since I drive a stick, my well rested little sis can't drive – I have to. BOO. HISS. TOMATOES.

    Other than that I am off for the nest 4 days so I supposed I should shut the complaints down.


  7. 1st – I love the site and I've shared it with a bunch of my friends…it's interesting to get a male's perspective on dating, sex, etc. so thanks for that.
    @Mr. FAQs – yes, a donut IS better for you if you walk .6miles to get it

    My 1 rant:

    *I HATE the cold, that's why I didn't take a job in the north…it shouldn't be -3 windchill down here. And apparently my office didn't get the memo that it was going to be cold as hell out because they clearly haven't turned the heat up! This is some bull$hit.

  8. Normally I don't do the rants because I try to keep it positive, but today is an exception.

    I better not ever personally meet Mother Nature, because I'd pimp slap her for this -10/-30 wind chill weather. She must be on her period or something.

  9. "Normally I don’t do the rants because I try to keep it positive, but today is an exception.

    I better not ever personally meet Mother Nature, because I’d pimp slap her for this -10/-30 wind chill weather. She must be on her period or something."

    I might be completely appalled at you for this. But I do understand…

    I am going to have to talk about this with you later though…because well…

    It. is. romantic. NOT! -5…down here..I could kill someone.

  10. "I better not ever personally meet Mother Nature, because I’d pimp slap her for this -10/-30 wind chill weather. She must be on her period or something."

    LMAO.. I will kick her in the crotch.

  11. Someone called?

    – I broke out my eskimo coat today. It has sentimental value because it looks like an Eddie Bauer but cost about 1/8 of the price (I miss NJ fleamarkets). I walked through the cold like Matthew Henson and it felt great.

    – I had a scare this morning and thought the cold beat my furnace but since I'm such a handyman…CPT won.

    – I haven't been going out lately. I come home, check the heat and hunker down. I've got food and beer, nuff said. Even booty couldn't get me out in this weather…I hope someone delivers.

    – Man, people are treating this inauguration like a pilgrimage to Mecca. I'm right off the subway line but still ain't going anywhere near downtown. I'd like to party and all but I'll wait for all the out of towners to hit me up. The CPT's Cove will be open.

  12. Yes…someone summoned me?

    Oh look…Hi CPT..damn if I'd known your house was open I'd've flown right up…will it be open for me say…last weekend in March?

  13. @ Jac & CPT- U guys r too funny!!!

    Last night, I introduced the site to some of my peeps and they absolutely loved it!

    -It's 37 degrees in H-Town and it's just too much for a city that's used to high pressure heat and humidity. But I guess I'm blessed based on the weather that most of you all are experiencing.
    -Looking forward to my day off but then classes start on the same day as the Inauguration, so I'll be reduced to watching it online in between assisting students.
    -Can't believe the XXX Industry is asking for a bailout from the government, like for real????

  14. "-Can’t believe the XXX Industry is asking for a bailout from the government, like for real????"

    I thought it was a joke too..

    But did ya hear about the men trying to sue Hooters for workplace discrimination bc they want to work there?


  15. @Creative1k-I simply cannot help myself…

    @CPT…Dead serious buddy..

    Now about this talking over the table…how else would you suggest we do it?

  16. @Slim – Take BOTH days off! I could see if Monday was Klansman Day George Washington's B-Day, but it's MLK!! It's against my morals and my health to work that day. My boss offered me that, too, but I'll work President's day instead. I know, I know, President's Day takes on a whole new meaning with Barack up there, but it still ain't officially ours yet since it's still 43 2520s runnin' that day. ANNND I've never worked a holiday since I've been here and that time-and-a-half pay is lookin' pretty fine right about now.

    My rants:

    – It is FREEZING in the Chi. I'm talking about "I wish it was warmer…like 20 degrees Farenheit" freezing. Yesterday it was like -10 with -60 wind chill. Later in that day, it went UP to -5 for about a hot second. This morning it's like -11. I love how the weatherman said, "Bitterly cold, but lots of sun!". Biatch, please. The sun ain't gonna help me get warm unless it's actually in my pocket. GTFOH with that "but lots of sun" mess when it's 5 billion lightyears away.

    – On the other hand, it feels great to be inside, thawing out. Even if it's at work…but hey, I can't complain because…

    – I escaped Jury Duty. It is the BOMB having an "S" last name, even if it just helped me that one time in life. Today would've been THEE worst day to go to jury duty because of the public transportation required and how cold it is. I rather be at work than there consuming vending machine mess. AND I would've missed the pizza party the head honcho is throwing. God is good.

    – SO excited about the Inauguration. Will have a viewing party and consume massive amounts of chicken. Yes, chicken. I have to do the right thing, like Spike Lee. Chicken on a self-appointed Nat'l holiday for black folks is so appropriate.

    – Thinking about the lack of melanin at my office on Tuesday brings me to a fit of giggles. I mean, like pure glee. I love my people.

  17. ~chicago sucks!!!! i don't know why i live here…i think saturday the temperature is supposed to get up to 20, so i guess then ill be a little happier

    ~im not going to the inauguration, and i feel really lame because of it. im still thinking i should talk a friend or two into riding out there with me to stay at my cousins house for the weekend

    ~the books i ordered on amazon came yesterday, along with my new netflix movies…at least i'll have something to do as i sit around inside all weekend, until it really warms up

    ~super mean secretary lady on my floor keeps turnin the dang thermostat down, because she claims that the air gets to dry when the heat is on…she's a smoker. your throat gets dry because you're constantly inhaling toxic chemicals, not because the room is at a respectable temperature…if i didn't care about respecting my elders, i'd probably kick her in her throat

    ~it's friday (yayyy!!!!!) and i have a chapter meeting tonight…i love old school sorors so this will be fun!

  18. ~I am so NOT excited about this Inauguartion. But only because of the massive amounts of fuckery that will be happening this weekend in my city. Now that Mr. FAQ pointed it out, I remember being here for the 05 inauguration as well and it wasn't anywhere NEAR this kinda madness.

    ~AND my job wants me to work the clubs tonight in the midst of this bullshyt?!?! Any other night I got to BEG to work a party. Tonight ya'll wanna throw me 5?!?!? Fuck outta here with that shit.

    ~ Then my hair is sooo not done. Clean, but not hardly pressed or curled or even braided suitably for appearance to the general public.

    ~I have this friend that I love, but I'm sooooo sick of her inviting herself everywhere with me. I really want to tell her to stay her happy ass at home tonight, but I can't think of a polite way to say it. Guess I'll just have to say it the regular old rude way.

    ~My best friend left me and went down to Orlando. That's that bullshit. It's 12 degrees in DC and this nigga callin me talmbout he going to disneyworld. How rude!

    ~Why do I have an intern named Cryst, pronounced Christ as in Lord Jesus. What in theee ****?!?! Like really? No more words for that foolishness.

    ~ Me ex just called me cause he wants passes to Love. I have them and clearly, I'm not gonna use them tonight. I just don't know if I want him to have them. Is that petty? Why yes it is. Just as petty as this nigga only callin me cause he needs something and wants me to get him in the veep. He's clearly being foolish. We ain't friends nucca!

    Ok, I think I'm done. Whew.
    Did I mention, it's cold as all hell today?!?! Cause it is.

  19. @ CPT Doing this from the phone…CPT…baby the table is where I serve you food. Now under it is a whole different story 🙂

    Absolutely serious about it too. Yep yep…curious to know how a man from your branch handles bizness…

  20. "@ CPT Doing this from the phone…CPT…baby the table is where I serve you food. Now under it is a whole different story

    Absolutely serious about it too. Yep yep…curious to know how a man from your branch handles bizness…"

    [gasps: My goodness Jac.] LMAO. This sounds like the crappy beginning of a p9rn movie.

  21. I have Marine experience….I'd think I'd be ready…

    What say you old sport? Think you could handle someone of my skillset?

  22. …I"m not even going to get into Marines but hooah to your hoorah.

    Last minute rant: The CPT just found some of his artwork on the web in a picture he didn't know was out there…

  23. @Nicki

    You know…now that I'm getting hit on so hard, I think I'll go back to pursuing my dream of porno script writer.

  24. @ CPTWow! I'd like to see it. Are u shy about sharing?

    About this porn…I been meaning to write some erotica! Perhaps I can offer porn fodder.

  25. I dont usually do the friday rant but hey, this has been one of those weeks. Here goes:

    – Monday was tough. A long cold day and cold long night. I had dinner with my brother and my dad, which was awesome. I wish we could do it every week.

    – Monday night I had the face to face and the "breakup." Funny, I didnt know I had a boyfriend. That BIG fact keeps me from going crazy about the whole damn thing. Inability to recognize superiority is YOUR problem, not mine.

    – Tuesday, Wednesday, Ugh.

    – Thursday, Houstons for the first time. GREAT FOOD! Thank God for big cousins who make even the coldest of days seem warm. And JR surprised me with my favorite ciggs! Best day of the week!

    – Friday and I am ready for the weekend. I need a drink, so an invite to Notorious with a night cap after was just what I needed.

    – This weekend should be good. I have Mon and Tuesday off, Im going out on sunday, and I have a cute dress to wear. That should come in handy since I'll be looking for Mr. New Booty. Agressively.

    Happy Innaguration Weekend All!

  26. @CPT-I'm very talented @ that and another style kinda like that…It's my best work I'm wild I tell (nonetheless serious nah)…

    And when you're finished I wanna see/read it.

    @SBM-Hush up nah…stay out grown folks bizness.

  27. ok…
    ~this week was the longest week in my life
    ~the papers are signed and notarized–the ish is official
    ~i have cried damn near everyday at work… today it was cuz the week finally ended… praise the lord
    ~i have THE greatest friends on earth and they have proven that this week
    ~i plan on "getting it in" this weekend
    ~i'm getting yet another tattoo on saturday
    ~next week the rest of my sleeve will be worked on
    ~i finally got my car back from being in the shop for 3 weeks from the WM tryna take me out before christmas

    i think this is it…


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