Home About Me Quirks of this Single Black Male

Quirks of this Single Black Male


Sometimes I feel like I don’t share enough about me …  and considering the amount of time I spend with you all … its only fair that you get to know me better.  So … let me go ahead and put myself out there … just a little bit.

I think everyone has a mental list of “things” that just … “do it” for them.  You might have a girl that really likes guys with a lisp.  There might be a guy loving girls with a gap in their front teeth.  Maybe its something about eastern european accents that gets her wet.

These are the unique little “quirks” that sometimes confuse your friends … but make perfect sense to you and the five other people that love webbed toes.  Everyone has them … and getting to know your own so you can find (or avoid) them is key.

Well … today … I want to share some of SBM’s … quirks.  The little off brand things that just “do it” for me.

I really have a thing for girls in glasses. I’m not sure what it is, when it started, or the exact cause of it … but something about women in the right pair of glasses (not sunglasses) is just a real turn on.  I was called out on this when I went to a strip club with some friends … and yes … I sought out the stripper with glasses on to get my lapdance.

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I have a true fetish for intelligence … especially anything technological. A girl once accurately used the term “open source” while talking to me … and I think I actually heard my heart skip a beat.  Even outside of that, one girl I dated had a serious vocabulary … I mean the dictionary was late night reading material good.  Something about her saying “hyperbole” just did it for me.  I’m still waiting to meet that PhD physicist that will sit and tell me all about quantum physics … oooohhhh.

I don’t know if there is anything sexier than a woman in a well dressed business suit. Not sure if this is going to lead me to some sick fantasy down the line, but business attire on women is so sexy.  Generally, I’m a closet conservative about a few things … and women’s clothes in one.  Generally, less is more … and nice large breasts behind a turtle neck sweater do more for me than having the “boys out”. I can’t wait until I have the stripper at my bachelor party … cause you know she’ll have a suit and glasses.

I don’t think I could date someone who didn’t have a mean email game. Email is probably one of the best tools for me to keep in touch with people.  I have been getting email on my phone for a few years now, and spend a lot of time there during the day.  Your email game needs to be on point (dc word for “great”) for me to really start falling for you.  Maybe since I spend a lot of time writing … a woman’s ability to draw me in and capture my attention with written words is important.

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I truly and utterly love a good set of dreadlocks. I have never dated a woman with them … but I fantasize (sometimes publically … lol) about long dreadlocks on a woman.  Short ones will get a rise … but I’ll lose it for some long ones.  I’m a fan of short hair, a couple forms of natural hair, and curls (to an extent) … but don’t let me get a chance at some down the back dreads … it’ll be a wrap!

Good nails can take me “over the edge” … bad ones … dealbreaker. There is one combination that simple … “does it” for me.  Long, real, french manicured nails.  Why … I don’t know … but its one thing I would actually pay for my gf to get … just for me. There are a whole slew of lesser styles … but that tops it.  I truly loathe nails where the girl put on polis, and then didn’t clean it, so its coming of … to the point there is eventually just a dot there. Reminds me of my kindergarden girlfriend … and I literally can’t do it!

So now that I have opened up some of the more random things that attract me (don’t you feel all connected now … I do!) … what are yours? And don’t go saying things like “good teeth” or “long legs” or “phat a$$” … those are given.  I want the off brand, the unusual, and the sh!t that you have to spend 30 minutes convincing your friends about. Come on … we family now … share.


  1. lol. hey sounds like i'm your type. went to gtown, i actually feel sexiest in a fly suit + burberry 'specs, (natural!) hair pulled back, and smarttrip in hand lol.

    as for me, hmmm.

    intelligence is definitely a requirement. something about seeing a man engrossed in a novel on a crowded metro DOES it for me. i also love a man who can incorporate slang/urrea dialect into his vernacular as i do with my friends. it shows a level of cleverness, cognition and linguistic fluidity that is hard to find.

    i LOVE ass & thighs. i'm basically a dude lol. those are dealbreakers. i can't do toucan-sam legs. big muscular thighs and a nice ass!? we're engaging in pleasantries, dear sir.

    i LOVE hearing the business-voice when a man answers a work-related call. y'all get all serious and stuff lol.

    i have a professor-fetish (not too far fetched).

    i just like a dude who compliments me – sometimes i'm the life of the partaaay, sometimes i'm introverted – understand the complexity/simplicity of that and just be. with me.

    the end!

  2. Us short haired, spectacle wearing girls love you too! (even though my glasses are only part time.)

    I love a man who:

    1. Can spell.
    2. Refrains from using "nigg*r"
    3. Has a nice back… I fantasize about gripping it. LOL

  3. SBM – *GOMH* – I actually published a long list (well not that long) about my Type… http://dcdatingadventures.blogspot.com/2009/01/my

    But a few more "off" things that does it for me

    Dreads – "Ditto"

    Bald Head – Absolutely

    Man in Uniform – Yep, preferably Firemen, doctors, police officers and Firemen…yes, they made the list twice, and guys in a well tailored business suit (hate it when guys have saggy slacks, that are tooooo long)

    Earthy Guys Who wear Glasses and are SMART – I mean, really smart, but in a sexy, down to earth, I want to rip your clothes off kind of way

    Guys that volunteer, or have jobs that give back…I love it when I meet a guy who's a "big brother" or Mentor, or teacher, or community organizer….it's pretty sexy

    Guys in a local band – "DRUMMERS", singers you name it – Something about using their hands and voices (if they are good)to make beautiful music – PANTY DROPPER…if they can sing a Prince tune on key…damn I'm having flashbacks of my most recent ones…

    Ok, I'm done…

  4. I've worn glasses all my life, and I can't tell you the number of guys who tell me they find a woman wearing glasses sexy. As a kid I hated my glasses and couldn't wait to get contacts, and now that I can, I don't want them. I look fab in my glasses.

    ITA on the intelligent conversation thing. I love being able to converse with a man about more than just sports or the hottest rapper. And if the guy is a scientist/engineer/techie, its even better, since I am a scientist myself.

    I've always had a thing for a man in a well-tailored business suit and a fresh haircut….very sexy…

  5. I LOVE brothers with locs…. I don't know why but it gets me when I see a brother with with locs…just want to sit them between my legs and twist them to high heaven…

    I love a man that has a way with words speak to me and caress my mind and I may be yours for a season….

    I also dig guys that smell good…not necessarily in store bought cologne…but in oils too…the essence of clean man when you lean in to hug them and you smell their oil or fragrance…

    And for some reason dudes that chew those stupid chew sticks do something for me in the last few years…hmmm…

  6. Man, your quirks mirror mine although I'll add…

    I love a woman with a mean walk or one that gives you the impression that she is gliding across the floor. To bad hoodrats tend to have the meanest walks.

    A woman with legs that look exquisite with no socks and some shorts and sneakers on is an instant CPT bagger.

    I love braniac women too (where the hell are they) so I double co-sign on the ability to write and express themselves. I was deployed overseas a couple of times and I can't tell you how a letter makes you feel when you have nothing else.

    BTW SBM: You need to peep DJ Jamad's Afromentals #192 on frolab.com
    If you peep Hour 2, you'll know why I'm recommending it.

  7. I love good skin.
    I like little brown skin girls with short hair.
    I like thicker light skin girls with long hair.
    I like silly girls.
    I like athletic/competitive girls (aint nothin like a girl who can compete with you)
    I LOVE girls who aint afraid to tell me stfu

  8. A sense of humor. Preferably dry wit. It's not really sexy but definitely attractive.

    Moist lips. Not shiny. But moist to the point that his lips look like smooth, hydrated skin. All dewy and supple…My Lord, my Lord.

    A sort of "hidden intelligence." This is a man whom you know is intelligent but he still surprises you with knowledge about (random) things that aren't necessarily (what I would consider) his specialty. It shows an adventurous side or an interest in the unknown and unusual. (Ex: He's familiar with the Haka. He knows what Kimchee is.) That's sexy.

  9. Re: Glasses. I never really knew how much a great pair of eyeglasses can really bring out your features. After years of pretty okay eyesight, working my first 9-5 corporate job in front of a computer all day really sped up the process of my inevitable dying eyesight (both sides of the family are blind as hell). Anyway, I'm way more confident in my eyeglasses and I get different attention in the them, I've noticed.

    Anyhow, my list:

    1. A "down" brotha in a corporate suit. There's something about a man who turns off the corporate voice around his buddies, but still has the corporate suit on. I love the balance.

    2. A "numbers" brotha. I never knew this before, but recently I recall being strangely turned on by a man reading a financial magazine, just because of the type of magazine it was.

    3. A "huggable" brotha. Give great hugs? Get great Cheekie. Yeah.

    4. A "kid at heart" brotha. Simple because I am a kid at heart as well. If you can enjoy watching a classic Disney movie with me, you have my kiddie heart.

    5. A "creative" brotha. Everything about me melts when a guy has a creative outlet Whether it's art, writing, music, eating poon, or cooking…using that right brain is doing the right thing in my book.

  10. hi everyone!

    okay here goes mine:

    1)men who help their community, or sponsor kids, community centers, church, etc. that turns me on on the spot!

    2)men in hockey suits (preferably the goalie suit) or firefighter suits. and if it's a hockey suit, try to have the Habs suit. im a montreal (canada) chick

    3)men who have an elevated mind, an opened 3rd eye. men who have a strong spiritual side to them.

    4)men who can have intelligent convos. and i co-sign the person who said she prefers men who don't say n*gger this n*gger that

    5)men who smell good. i cant stand smelly ppl (who does?)

    6)men who see more than just the physical. men who invest in building a relationship, not just havin a 'prize' or 'model' on their arm

    7)men who believe they have the power to do anything they want, and who go for it. men who walk their talks, men of integrity, men of their words. gimme dat and im sold!

    8)chocolate men. yall make me melt.

  11. I'm that chick with 20/20 that wears eyeglasses occasionally just because dudes love it. My quirks?? Let's see…

    ~I love techy dudes. Just love a guy that can explain a terabyte (for some reason I have the hardest remembering the order that leads up to this one), or hook his entire crib up wirelessly to his itouch, and answer my questions about dreamweaver… yea, that's nice. Not to toot my own horn, but I set up my first local server last weekend, yea me… now on to scripting.

    ~I love dudes with accents. Naija, european, the islands… love it. Especially when they normally speak without it and then they switch on you on purpose to get you going. mmm hmm

    ~Intelligence is a given… I need a man that's in the habit of reading.

    ~AND who loves the History, Scifi, and Discovery channels as much as I do, even if it's the only thing he turns on the TV to watch. Oh, add cartoons too lol.

  12. ok. most of the things you listed as well as most of the comments others made aren't really quirks. lol. these are things that most people like. i may be wrong but i think quirks are things that people like that MOST people wouldn't find attractive.

    but i do agree with you about the glasses thing though.

  13. Oh yeah…I love British accents and sharp sexy southern accents…especially if the woman has that real sharp way she pronounces her S's.

  14. I wrote a nice lengthy list of deep stuff yesterday, so I'ma keep it simple with my quirks:

    – Nice smelling hair. Long or short, I love nice smelling hair. And no, I don't randomly walk up to women and sniff their head.

    – Toneness/Some muscles. Sessy. Very sessy to me. Yes, sessy. I ran track. Track chicks make me go dumb. If a woman's body resembles that of a track chick, my eyes turn into hearts til one of my boys slaps me.

    – A story. A chick with an intricate story about her life intrigues me. This can be a good or a bad thing.

  15. @ Tunde: Good point. It could be that we all think its a quirk that we like until it's shared and we see that we are not alone. Good smelling hair, intelligence, glasses, and suits aren't peculiar or quirky. I guess if we put all the different "quirky" things we like together we'll get something extraordinary. Isn't that what we all would like?

    Quirks are what make us unique. Not every dude is gonna like a chick that makes weird noises and sounds when she's in deep thought or figuring something out. Most think its annoying.

  16. I too love a man with dreads. But not just any old man. He has to have a really chiseled face to pull off the dreads. I love guys with glasses and just youthful good looks. An innocent looking man makes me go "Awwww"!

  17. an intelligent man, wisdom is a huge turn on….

    a man who smells good, if I am attracted to his natural scent, phermones underneath the cologne or soap even is paramount, as well as good grooming/hygeine without being effeminite.

    someone with a great sense of humor and killer wit….

    yes I love dark chocolate men too but you have to be handsome with that, which eleminates most LOL….

    I like glasses on men too….

    a man with sense of adevnture and unorthodox ways will always catch my attention, original folk….

    Fit guys without being swole,can't do chubsters/pudgsters…

    guys with insight and great vision

    I could go on and on

  18. @CPT: I was thinking I was gonna be solo on that letter tip. I'll go check out this frolab.com thing in a minute.

    @Nicki: Oooohhh … you wear glasses … didn't know that one. Part time counts …

    @Jubilance: So its not just me and the glasses. My friends got on me for getting the stripper with glasses. I still do it to this day though …

    @DC Dating Diva: Man thats a long list. Glad Motorcycles are on there … you would be surprised how few girls love my motorcycle. I thought it was like instant spanish fly n sh*t.

    @Cheekie: Damn … how many girls got glasses on here!

    @Sheila: Computer nerds get points? One girl told me the fact I could install windows and set up a router was sexy … didn't believe her … but maybe she wasn't lying.

    @Tunde: I was trying to keep mine to quirks. I think the email game, glasses, and dreadlocks def aren't a given. I do agree that a lot of the comments are "quirks".

    @Reign: Another nerd lover … I'm glad we finally are in style …

    @LoveAndNappyness: I feel the professor fetish … it mixes my intelligence and professional dress all together …

    @All: I might have to do a part 2 in the future … I'm remembering a bunch of other stuff now.

  19. here are a coupleo things

    1. ponytails, i dunno but a girl wearing a ponytail (real or fake) adds to the sexiness

    2. i too find the the girl in the business wear sexy

    3. back in my college days, there was nothing sexier than a girl in a t-shirt and tight jeans, especially when the t-shirt rode up and expose that small part of her back…

  20. I just posted how I can't use tampons because they hurt and that reminded me of a little issue I have.
    I'm a 24 yr virgin. I have come close to having intercourse several times but stop because I'm scared of the pain. I am looking forward to being fully sexually active but I just can't get past the pain I will feel the first few times. My other issue is that my SO is quite well endowed so I'm like "ouch" that's really going to hurt. He's not pressuring me or anything, infact we're probably going to wait until marriage but I would want my wedding night to be pleasurable not painful!
    My cousin suggested a vibrator but isn't that going to hurt even more? I feel really nervous about putting anything up there! What can I do? How painful is it, really?

  21. A man with a good looking penis
    A man who does not need to talk to me everyday
    Accents are a huge turn on
    Big hands. Small stubby hands make me sick.
    Good socks. Socks are important. Just good underwear in general.
    Great solid ass
    Broad shoulders
    Pubes!!! Nothing worse to me than a publesss man…except a pubeless man with an ugly penis.

    I'm done

  22. SBM, I'm pretty sure you've just described me 🙂 Not sure how on point my email game is (we say 'on point' in Philly too), but everything else, more close than a little bit. I've become slightly obsessed with my nails since I stopped biting them in high school, a good French mani makes for a good week.
    My quirks:
    -My friends clown me for this all the time, but I love love love a short to average height man. I mean my height (5'4") to about 5'9" just does something for me I can't explain.
    -Clean fingernails. If you don't take care of the details I *can* see, who knows what you're doing with the details I *can't*?
    -A man who can wear a hat well, be it a fitted or fedora, is highly attractive.
    -Men with hidden MEANINGFUL tattoos. There is something so sexy about a man pushing up the sleeve on his dress shirt and you catching the slightest glimpse of ink. I am automatically going to think about him naked. If it's something stupid tho, it negates any of that.
    -Men into science, especially the natural sciences like biology, anatomy, or chemistry. Someone who understands (to me, anyway) the balance between the intangible concepts of science & their relationship to the physical is sexy as hell.

  23. -Nice hands and feet. My girls don't understand it, but I just can't rock with a dude who has twisted/crusty/barely-have-a-nail-left feets. Whether it's hereditary or simply his fault, it's a dealbreaker for me and also the first thing I look at. Too much of a "man" to get a mani/pedi wit me? Keep it movin…

    -Sensually scented. There's nothing like the smell of a man. Whether it's a great body wash, manly deodorant, or a sexxy cologne, I just loves me the smell of some mens. Issey Miyake, anyone?

    -Facial hair. I love goatees, chin straps, and well-maintained beards. Even the beginning stage (i.e., the scruffy look) is sexy to me. If a man keeps his facial hair nicely lined up and well-maintained, it's like art to me.

  24. SBM…easy…here are some things I like:

    I’ve tried my best to date the blue collar man (even recently) but give me a man who sweats it out at the office.

    A man who can tell me more about my computer than I already know gets bonus points.

    A man who is active in his church…a man I see openly helping others…whether it be elderly, children…someone giving back to his community in some form or fashion.

    A man who reads something other than the sports page–big ups to him.
    If he reads books–he gets double points.

    A man who can hold an intelligent conversation on a variety of topics.

    I also like a man who has a good sense of humor and can make me laugh.

  25. I have two quirks:

    The first is cologne. I have been known to follow a man down the street just because he smells good. He doesnt even have to be good looking or have on the "right clothes," just smell pretty and I'll love you. At least for a little while.

    My second is mice hands. Clean, soft, with even nails and strong looking. My ex had GREAT hands. I dont miss him but I miss his hands.

  26. love facial hair , PUBES on MEN as well, and one that can rock a mean hat too like moi' I really think its something in the spirit of folk that determine that, love it..

  27. *I'm fasincated with secret nerds! They appear to be just your average joe but they really bring pocket protectors back in style! It just does something for me–to know he's tech savvy or can crunch numbers makes me smile. And don't let me see him do this job! Baby bye! It's a wrap!

    *I love a goofy laugh! Like high pitched or some unusual sound; something totally unexpected from a man. His laugh makes me laugh! And besides it tells he knows how to live a little.

    *I love a man with a phobia–yeah it sounds crazy but when he shares that with me, it's like a moment of openness. He's not afraid to say he's afraid…a true turn-on!

  28. i can co-sign the majority of the quirks here, but i have this thing for white men that look like black dudes. not the played out thug wannabes but let him have a fade and some style. Wentworth Miller could get it all day.

  29. @Kwana: You specifically like the pubes on men … as in hairy balls? If that's not a quirk … I don't know what is.

    @Comeback: Nothing from ya? Come on … I know you got a good 30 pages.

    @Tiffany: Man with a phobia … that def wins the award for the most unexpected.

  30. I'm with you on the french manicured nails. Altho i prefer the acrylics to the real deal.

    – Thick fingers. Women with skeletor hands (thin bony fingers) lose alot of points in my book. I deaded a chick who was an easy 8 b/c of her fingers.

    – Big calves. Asian chicks have this thick muscled calf game on lock, so when I see non-asians with legs that look like they played soccer for yrs, I'm ready to go in for the kill.

    – Slight curl on the top lip. The lip has to have a slight edge to it as opposed to simply coming to an end or sloping down into the mouth.

  31. -A man with a ceasar haircut =)
    -Really tall guys 6'3 and up are so delicious to me
    -Guys that wear wing-tip shoes
    -Political Scientist, historians, and attorinies bc I know they are articulate well read can stimulate my mind and screw me verbally =)

  32. I love men that are a little geeky. If there is a group of men, 9 times out of 10 i'll go for the one who tells bad jokes and can't dance ( I love to dance and consider myself pretty good at it, so I don't know why that is)

    I love a man who can challenge me. I debate for sport, so I love a man who can hold is own in a debate (especially political) with me

  33. See: women in a business suit…man looking at women get on the train on a weekday is damn near better than the club-so good looking and sexy-she means bizness baby!!

    women dressed to the nines and yet will say or do something raunchy is a turn on

    a woman with the shoe danglin off the toe while she furiously checks her phone-you see this alot in Manhattan

    the back and forth convo a smart man and woman can have-the subtext is the shit!!!

    women with Style but realizes the world cant and some shouldnt bow down to her exquisite taste

    good smelling hair

    heels worn indoors other than in the office-yea I know they are KILLING your feet but…damn

    the "different way" yall dress when you get comfy with a guy in your pad-man you can tell its on from what she is wearing upon opening the door

  34. 1. a dorky guy, not to much, but there has to be something that distinguishes him from the norm…chances are i'll think he's super cool, even though he has some random quality that everybody else thinks is weird
    2.he should have a creative hobby…my friends say this is why i end up with sensitive guys, but i love artists, it's something about creativity that sparks something in me
    3. an intelligent guy…nothing does more for me than a man who reads…i think seeing a black man reading a book is one of the hottest things ever
    4. men with dreads…i have natural hair…and it's short, but i love playing in a guys locs…it is so relaxing to me…really playing in a guys hair in general is kinda soothing, even if it's not locs…but low cuts are cool too, just for different reasons

  35. Wow… my ideal woman

    Never back down from an argument,fiercly opinionated but also knows when to say when.. Politics is a must 😉

    Carries her body as her temple – thus, workouts and certain things are a must, community service … passion for culture/history.

    Natural – locs, a mini fro or a big one — *almost had a flashback from this chic I dated who had locs down to her back from the A, *sighs

    Ability to be honest goes a really long way, you'd be surprised at how much people hold back…

  36. Wow this is a good one!! I guess this is stuff you don't think about.

    I love guys with chinky eyes, and I'm a lip watcher, I like the way they move, their thickness etc.

    Knowing that a man gets dirty. I appreciate a cleaned up brotha in a suit. But I'm talking about weekends with his dad & uncles where they fish, or hunt, or is in a football league or basketball league, or is working on the car all weekend, or fixing stuff in the house all weekend, or a brother who works construction & wears Timbs to work, not for liesure & comes home a tad musty and makes my face crinkle up and point him to the bathroom…I smile when he walks away.

  37. Umm…. have you been spying on me?? Wow. I hope I can find a guy with those exact set of criteria, cuz I rock my glasses with my business suits while going to work as a corporate attorney (graduated cum laude AND law review published, and my dad whom I consider the Black McGuyver taught me well) with my locs hanging down my back, I'm a wordsmith on e-mail typing with my french manicure that is ALWAYS on point and NEVER done by the asian shops in the strip mall (like my president, my nail lady is black). Just not sure if these guys are ready for all that comes with it, though…..

  38. Brilliant list!
    I pretty much want the male version of everything you suggested especially the physicist discussing the latest in quantum and relativity with me. (I was a physicist- hence the name Quark)

    Here are a few of mine…
    1. I have a thing for men with American accents. That may not sound like a quirk to you all but in England folks are incredibly stuck up about accents and unfortunately American ones are not high on the list. When I first moved to DC a few months ago I truly thought I was going to lose it for a while there.
    2. Nerds. And I don't just mean guys who are intelligent. I mean sci-fi convention going, telescope owning, linux using, socially awkward type nerds.

  39. Hair. My mom calls it an obsession, I call it a healthy fascination. Mid length-long 'fros/dreads/etc, and I'm fantasizing about grippin' on to 'em for dear life as he does sweet, sweet things to me stealing second and third glances. Provided he's at least somewhat cute, that is. I absolutely love running my hands through my significant other's hair. lol Although I didn't fall for them because of it, all of my SOs in the last couple of years have had long hair. There's just something about a sexy, intelligent man with..well, lots of hair on his head.


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