Home Featured Bah! Humbug!

Bah! Humbug!



Young Lady: So what are you doing for Valentines Day?
—extended pause—
Mr. FAQs: O, damn. That’s next Saturday huh? Hmph. I don’t know, I forgot. Watching H-O-R-S-E I guess, thought it was just All-Star Weekend.

“Thought it was just All-Star Weekend” pretty much describes my feelings towards this upcoming occasion. You could call me a Valentines Scrooge.

I’ve never been a fan of Valentines Day. As a child, I likened it to Halloween in the Spring and just hoped I wouldn’t be the poor sap with the least amount of Valentines cards and candy. In middle school, that turned into hoping to get a Candy Gram sent and announced in front of the class, High school was a coveted shout-out in the “Mustang Express” and in college, I spent my money sending the AKA’s “Singing Valentines” to moms which she always got a kick of.

I won’t take the cliche route and be on some “everyday should be Valentines Day” cause we all know that’s some bs.  Traditionally, I’ve been a human mine-sweeper ending or postponingadvancements around holidays, specifically Christmas, Valentines Day and birthdays so as neither party has an expectation. While my cheapness and apprehension to trick money all willy-nilly do play a factor, it is more of not wanting things to be taken the wrong way or thought to much of, which some people are predisposed to do.

See Also:  Can Women Be Bad in Bed?

choose1There is a classic episode of The Simpson’s that is a masterful example of a simple kind gesture being misconstrued. It’s Valentines Day and Lisa’s 2nd grade class is doing their Valentine exchange. She notices poor Ralph Wiggum is without any so she takes one of hers, changes the ilovelisanames and gives it to him. She had a heart. Unfortunately for Ralph, he thought she was giving it to him. The “I Choo-choo-choose You” Train themed Valentine turned into Lisa getting trapped. Before she knew it, a title was attached, she was getting tickets to the Krusty Tribute and ultimately was forced to crush poor little Ralph’s heart on National television.

Lisa’s reaction was very human and as a man, I could completely relate to the case of SAS (Sudden Attachment Syndrome) that Ralph suffered at her expense. It’s something that has to be taken into account very often. For instance, I like John Legend and Corrine Bailey Rae a lot, but inviting a chick to a concert full of love ballads can easily send the wrong signal. At the same time, going alone makes you look out of place and under NO CIRCUMSTANCE is rolling to it with the homies acceptable. So what do you do? Well if your Mr. FAQs you convince 10 – 12 people of mixed sex to go, draw straws on whose driving, get some snacks, roll some b***ts and be out. Everyone’s happy, nobody has any expectations and anything that happens you can attribute to the smooth vocals.

See Also:  Do Men Settle Too?

This pre-occupation with Valentine’s Day type of thing that happens when a capitalistic society puts special interest on what could have just been another day. Do we give gifts on President’s Day? I’m still waiting on my MLK Jr. Day card in the mail. Valentines day is for Suckers, Squares and Lames.

i_love_lisa1Maybe one day I will feel the need to go all out with the “5,000 roses and buy out a restaurant” theme from the movies, but until I get chip like that and a women whose affection makes me want to do such, Mr. FAQs is going to be easy on this day of Valentine’s. Wouldn’t want to have to “Lisa Simpson” a broad.

All that being said, I do have plans but its all “I’m not busy on Saturday” and no “Will you be my Valentine.” And the feeling is mutual.

Anyone else chilling and taking it easy?



  1. That has been my sentiment for the past four to five years. But this year I have a valentine whom I've been seeing since last Jan. I've considered Valentines "Single Awareness Day" and have celebrated by sending myself tulips every year. Coworkers get a kick out of reading the card that says From: Self… Love Ya!

    Many women have unrealistic expectations about VDay especially when they aren't in any type of serious arrangement. If you're just dating the dude for a few weeks please do not expect anything grand. Last year me and dude just gave cards and went to lunch. I got a single rose and was surprised about that. Nice gesture and completely within reason for only dating a month. This year I just wanted to cook a nice meal together and chill at the spot with a good movie… he like naw we going out and he wont tell me anything else. 😀 I like surprises

  2. I love John Legend and Corrine Bailey Rae too, so sad that her husband overdosed.. wonder how she is holding up.

    I plan to either a.) Take my son out on Valentine's day, perhaps a movie and dinner. He's the one I love the most anyway. or b.) Get together with all my single girlfriends for some drinks, dancing, etc.

    It would be nice to get some flowers (I like tulips and gerber daisies) but really… there's only one person that I want those from at the moment and I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen.

  3. Ralph: "Let's bee friends! It says "bee", and it has a picture of a bee on it!"

    Classic Simpsons episode. The fact I can recall that line from that episode means I probably need to get a life.

    But Valentine's Day gets the gas face. It's just one more day where you're supposed to once again find the perfect gift. I'm going out with a female friend on Friday (no relation to Valentine's Day whatsoever), and enjoying All-Star weekend.

  4. IM married now, wife is taking me out someplace "special" but lord knows what women mean when they say special. special and expensive are synonyms to them.
    This valentines day will be zounds cheaper for me than valentines days past where a playboy.

    valentines day is cool. I am throwing a party with this theme for all the singles or people who are just against valentines day this year up here in the north jersey area incase anyone wanted to come 30 dolla a ticket holla at yo boy!
    not sure how it is in other parts of the country, but that failure to date = success/independance is running rampant. 55 women and 27 men registered for the party the night before valentines day. thats alotta single 30 peeps.

    as a black male, I am always sayin we need more lovin , less thugin and a whole lot less bitchin. we almost view treating someone sweet as an ailment or weakness. love is a lost art. im not talkin about "yo gurl he got me dis prada bag, DATS LOVE" no im talkin about simple romantic stuff like just getting excited when he walks in the door and jumping on him to shower him with kisses like you havent seen him in years. that REAL good love and affection that we used to be known for back in the day.

    dont hate on valentines day

  5. Wow, HNIC is married…now I have heard it ALL!!!

    I'm rolling solo. All of my friends and family are attached in some sense, and I don't want to be a debbie downer so I may catch "He's Just Not That Into You," because clearly if I'm rolling solo he's not.

    Also I'll probably hit up the gym, read a book, take a long hot bath, cook myself an extravagant dinner and watch The Secret Life of Bees…I bought the DVD last week and haven't gotten around to breaking it open yet.

    I'm not going to hate on Valentine's Day. I'm usually in a blossoming relationship and I can appreciate the love that is shown on that day. This year I'm single, and even though it's a bit sad and lonely it's not the end of the world. This too shall pass.

    Oh and Don I pretend to be both(previous post)…it just depends on the setting.

  6. My guy and I are in a long distance relationship and he hates Vday. I call him the Grinch Who Stole Valentine's often. He takes your same stance but says its more because it is an overpriced ridiculous spectacle that means nothing in the long run.

    I am a fan of all holidays and love vday because I am a romantic. I've never had a knock me off my socks valentine but I'm not stressed because I'm only 24 and I haven't been in the place with a guy for him to go all out for me when Vday rolls around anyway. I think I am getting a card this year.

    That also being said, I have plans with a friend to hang out and go movie hopping.

    OH, and that Simpson's episode is DEF one of my favorite.

  7. I have no plans, my overall feelings on Valentine's Day is that it is overrated, and really pointless. However, we live in a society where these fantasies are accpeted as reality, so you you have to do "something"

    To the other Fellas or ladies, Have you/or your mate ever gotten away without doing anything on Valentine, like no card, no choclate, no dinner? Is it even possible?

  8. I'm not the biggest Valentine's Day fan. I really don't understand the Holiday. I tend to do something small. I will never go the extravagant route for Valentine's Day. Don't see the point. Whenever I see women stressing about what to get their man for Valentine's Day, then maybe I'll take the Holiday more seriously. Btw, that episode of Simpsons is a classic. lol.

  9. some contrived BS as are most so called holidays :-)Tho I love all the heart stuff, LOL I'mma hearts and stars kinda girl!
    I'll be going to the gym, doing laundry, cleaning up and watching the ALL Star stuff with a few libations and some fine cuisine……

  10. I love Valentine's Day–another day set aside to show the one you love–that they are loved. Take that feeling of VDay and do it all year. I'm all about building positive and loving relationships. If you're single, continue to show yourself some love–you don't have to be in a relationship to enjoy V-Day.

  11. Call me the cynic…but I've never signed on for this holiday. Never made sense to me and I doubt it will. Sometime on Saturday Nite I'll be plastered and unconcerned about the couples that will be fighting come 12am Sunday.

  12. Awww such hatered for V-Day! Seems women aren't the only bitter ones round this time of the year.

    Its not my favorite, but I try to remember its just ONE DAY, no matter if I am sinlge or coupled. Other folks being happy and coupled doesnt negate your being single and happy. We can all win!

    I'm really excited for the three day weekend more than anything else. I can not wait to lay around and be lazy on Monday!

  13. why SLim because its contrived, like you are supppose to do such and such and feel this way or that way….its bs and that has nothing to do with being bitter but moreso unplugged 😉

  14. 6'2
    close to 15% body fat (which is great for a man my age)
    light eyes adn very good genetics
    charming and can entertain and work a room very well
    funny but can not a chump
    and a MAN, not a guy.. but a man. Im not afraid to put anyone in their place or let anyone cross him or those dear to me.
    No kids
    phenomenal credit
    low sex drive

    why wouldnt I be married? realistically I was never going to marry but there is a reason guys like me arent single, much less single for long. and my wife takes me for who I am and with all my baggage and scars. I have been married almost a month and not once has she ever tried to change anything about me nor complained once and called me a "scrub" because I dont make a certain amount of money.
    theres a reason why some women that are single cant keep a man. your not supposed to be trying to live out your fantasy playbook through your dating selections… your just supposed to find someone to love and love you back. shits simple… but todays modern woman makes it so hard.

    Im still waiting to see where this woman takes me for valentines day! Im excited!!!

  15. so, SBM hates valentine's day? i'm new to the site [which i love] but, from what i've read, i thought you would've loved this day?

    just blogged about this. valentine's day isn't as appealing as it has been for me. i feel like i've grown out of this holiday.

  16. @Mr FAQ's – The concert analogy had me rollin. I think you can take a chick to a love song concert…

    I mean just be real with her up front and don't invite the chick you KNOW will not hear you when you tell her it means nothing.

    Shooooot. I would LOVE to see C. Bailey Rae.

    @ SBM. Niggah. You know you love V Day. Stop playing.


  17. "but todays modern woman makes it so hard"

    In the words of the great actor Densel from "Crimson Tide" …I concur!!!!


Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Get SBM Delivered

Get SBM Delivered

Single Black Male provides dating and relationship
advice for today's single looking for love

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This