There are things that make a guy … “attractive”. I’m not talking about legitimate good personality, a good sense of humor, and a winning smile. I’m talking about those shiny rims, lambo doors, nice shoes, and other shallow pieces of glitter that we all know about. That stupid stuff …
In reality … they rarely work … on good women. Hood rats, scallywags, scuttlebutts, and groupies eat it up like government cheese … but those independent women with degrees and jobs can only be caught rarely.
Over my years as a renaissance man I have amassed a small list of these random things we use to seem “attractive”. For all you guys out there in need of some help … head my list and add a few to the portfolio.
Stunt on em
Ride a motorcycle
When I bought my motorcycle everyone assumed I was doing it to get women. I mean EVERYONE. I just wanted to be able to cover a mile in less than 30 seconds … but it’s a well known fact that guys with bikes are just … well … “cool”. Rice rocket or cruiser … you can’t go wrong … they will want to hop on the back.
Drive an expensive car
“Women” (the quotes means I’m talking about the scuttlebutts) love shiny things. Nothing is shinier than a nice car. The more money the better, but there are a couple staples that will always get you some loose vajay-jay. Need that groupie love … go cop a 7 series or a Mercede’s S class. Or my dream car … the Audi S5. Or if you really want to get you want a straight hood rat … get you a hood car and get it “fixed”. Dodge Charger … tinted out … sitting on 22’s … candy paint … yes! Broke? … rent.
Buy an expensive diamond studded watch
After Puffy told the club to put their “Rolie’s in the sky … and wave them side to side” … they’ve been flying off shelves from people who can barely afford rent. As I said … “women” love shine things. Blind em with it … and watch the panties drop.
Get rims … big and chrome
Their shiny… and their not cheap. And when I say big … I mean f*ing huge. 22’s or better … and bonus points if their spinning (not really … that fad died). Again … shiny things that show you have money will attract the skeezers.
Become a rapper or play professional sports
Rappers and sport players are a scallywag’s dream. He has money, he is willing to spend it, and he has money. Their “womens” kryptonite. Just thinking about spending all his money makes her wet.
Make it rain … all the time
I can’t 100% confirm this … but if women weren’t attracted to guys making it rain … guys wouldn’t make it rain. It’s flashy, shows off you have money to waste even though your buying dinner with food stamps, and your willing to spend it. Making it rain isn’t just for the strip club … ordering a big mac … go ahead and supersize it with a shower of ones. Waitress was great … you know what to do … sprinkle her. Hell … take your girl to the park … forget feeding the ducks … feed the people with greenbacks.
Learn how to sing … good
Musicians are sexy (so I’m told). If you can sit there and serenade her … bam …. you got her. Just make sure your good! Your nasaly, cracking, Ja Rule sounding voice isnt’ doing nothing but drying up her “river” and giving her time to plot what excuse she is gonna give you when you “try her” (“oh … I’m sorry … it’s ‘that time’ of the month”).
See the trends? Shiny things, signs of money, and a sense of danger … simple right? Get creative with it … mix and match. Try making it rain while popping a wheelie. Sing to her, while getting drafter, and then blind her with the watch. A motorcycle with 22″ chrome rims … and a BMW emblem.
So … if your lacking swagger, not funny, boring, or just f*ing lame not good with women. Go ahead and start attacking this list. Sure, you won’t have any women of substance and you might get tired of dating nothing but Wendy’s cashier’s and Wal-mart attendants … but hey … get in where you can.
What did I miss? What are the best one’s? To my women … which ones do it for you … and which don’t? To my fellas … success stories?
There is something about a man on a bike!!!!! I can't wait until the summertime. I wouldn't actually date him, for fear of the playa stigma, BUT he's still good to fantasize about.
That's about the only one that does it for me.
Another plus for me, is how a man dresses…. if he's in a nice blazer and nice shoes, anything different from the norm white t shirt and jeans, he arouses my curiosity.
None of that stuff really does it for me- although a bloke who can sing has definitely earned a few extra brownie points.
1. A guy sitting on the metro reading an interesting looking book always catches my attention. If it happens to be good sci-fi all the better 🙂
2.I agree with Ms Sunshine that a well dressed man is also attractive. I cant stand guys who think wearing jeans that are this close to falling off is a good look in anyway. Thankfully I have found that guys in DC know how to dress!
3.This one is totally superficial but gets me anyway- men with locs. Other than just looking fab I guess I associate them with being more socially conscious somehow.
4.To me geeks are as cool as cool can get! Physicists, programmers, engineers always impress me.
I just want someone who is them…
No need for fancy cars, the Rolex watch or motorcycles.
this list is hilarious. I guess I'm just not cool to "women" then.
Tam I really feel your comment. Get your portfolio game up.
Quark- number 4 is on point. Intelligence is where its at.
I'm gettin a bike soon Nicki hahaahahahaha
"I’m gettin a bike soon Nicki hahaahahahaha"
I need a ride on the back then! That's fun stuff.
Co-signing Tam.
LOL @ you making a list to attract scallywags. You're such an aide to society, SBM.
"Buy an expensive diamond studded watch"
Oooh, this is THEE best way to crossover to douche territory. And yeah, it does attract those type of women, but nothing turns me off more than a man flashin' his Rolie w/ 60 timezones everywhere and making it known he has one. Definite guarantee that he spent his life savings on it. If he could truly afford a Rolie, it wouldn't be that big of a deal.
Another, one, that is sort of a subcategory of the singing is playing an instrument. Piano plus singing is a great pantydropper. I personally got a thang for the drummer. Mmmm. 😉
Is a dodge charger a hood car…? I love those cars!
YES DODGE CHARGERS are hoodie DC HOOD. EVERY BLACK DC MAN HAS ONE.
BORRRRRRRRRRRRRRING
I gotta be honest tho..when I drop all the well balanced "'i want a man with a brain" exterior.
A BIKE WILL GET ME. In fact MOTORSPORTS will do it.
OR a pilot certificate.
its all spring and its sexxy.
**In DC and doesn't drive a charger** Hilarious post!
Material things are just that…material. Things you listed I think can be "turn ons" for women. But to me attraction is on a WAY different level than "oh he has a nice car," or "that bike makes him sexy." I mean I'm not going to lie and say a good looking guy, dressed well, and happens to have a nice car/bike or whatever isn't attractive…but at the end of the day that is just not the reasoning of why I'd date him. There has to be a great personality, chemistry, and all that other stuff.
young…ok its so many bamas on bikes sooooooooooooooooooooo many suspect and otherwise LMAO, never really impressed me, nor does/did all the other shiny trappings……a dudes stuff including his money is HIS, luxury whip etc is HIS, diamonds are HIS etc etc etc so why would I get all siced about it, and if you are the type of woman that does get siced about someon elses shat, you'll never be satisfied cause somebody always has more, more money, more BAIT cause really that all that is……..I'm not one to get excited about external stuff = BAIT period, while most women can appreciate a brotha who is put together its whats inside=character, that really makes the outside brilliant and magnificant, not the other way round …….as SBM mentioned only folk that are easily BAITED/hooked are impressed with this kind of fuckery.
Like Richard Pryor said "You gotta sing to get the P*ssy…"
Me personally, I do artwork. No one is impressed by artwork, they just want you to draw a silly little picture for them. When's the last time you've heard a visual artist getting play? Ya gotta sing!
let me just had a little epilogue..that its not really bait if you KNOW IT IS. Looking nice when you go on a date is quasi "bait"…errybody and their momma knows that substance is what keeps people at the party..
How about a degree, a career and a strong investment portfolio? All that other stuff is usually just window-dressing on bad credit.
But like you said…it works on “women”.
I disagree, when I get dressed not trying to bait mofos, the fly is for me primarily- no agendas, and I also disagree about "everybody knowing substance keeps folk at the party" that whole statement contradictory, people don;t go to party for substance anyway and if that were true, folk seeeking substance etc things would NOT be as they are on many levelss these day…..
@Kwana
Co-sign with you on that.
party is a turn of phrase…substance is what keeps a person interested not necessarily what you did to spark the initial attraction. If that still remains contradictory..then i guess i'd like to point you at exhibit a…life. I wrote about this early but attraction is how most people make their money. Im not interested in working with an over weight personal trainer. A sloppy car salesmen. A broke financial advisor. 85% of what is..IS perception with a bow tied around the top. The rest is brass knuckle substance. Form still makes money where i live.
I've never known ANYONE who went on a date looking their absolute worst because they just felt like it..FOR THEM. Its not a manipulative type of bait, but rather the subtle seduction and the dating laws of attraction. Most people I know like to put their best foot forward.
I still need to work on making it rain in restaurants on official dates. The rest of it? I'm game tight. lol. Great post.
And the sprinkle me line? E-40 anyone? lol.
It's never good to suggest making it rain to me unless she wants to get showered in coins. Speaking of which…Coinstar needs me.
huh…let me let in you on a lil secret, most first impressions are wrong for a multitude of reasons….if you are going around gauging things off appearances alone you in for a hard way to go…seldom is anything solely what it appears to be!
Again looking good is for me first, when I get dressed in the am evening etc I'm not trying to catch anything, whoever benefits after that is just bonus…….
Party and BS anyone, thats a term more synomous with partying!!!!
"huh…let me let in you on a lil secret, most first impressions are wrong for a multitude of reasons….if you are going around gauging things off appearances alone you in for a hard way to go…seldom is anything solely what it appears to be!"
thats for letting me in on the secret LOL..
meant…
thanks…
It was actually Biggie that said wave your rollies in the air-from side to side- Puff in the vid plays Bigs part..
I have beat this horse into a bloody pulp. And I have gone on chapter and verse about materialism. I think though its shifting from the gawdy and bawdy to more refined and slick.
I am all for dating educated people but I am not doing it exclusively I will not put up with Her just cause shes got two degrees from two Ivy Leagues and has eatin on four of the seven continents best restuaraunts-in the words of Net foward Derrick Coleman "whopie-fucking do". I work around the chi-chi bougie black crwod and thats how they date.
If you aint in a frat or are sorror-you ass out, didnt get out of undergrad at 21 and then go to grad school-K.I.M. but wait theres more (evn 'career" is materialised if you go into the "sciences" forget about it )"Who got a home in the best black part of Queens" or in the trendy hip place in Brooklyn, live too close to the "real" and they dont want to do anything with you and this is the Good black men and women. Whats happened is now we should put up with crap becuz its now John Varvatos suits with leather imported shoes and booking brunches. So nothing much has changed. The Good Guys and Girls (some not all) have taken the worst elements of the hood and Amercica, conspicuos consumption mixed with ghetto indulgence and souped it up in the the name of Class. So its not that you should have my baby cause I'm a (gehtto)"fly ni99a"-its that you should cause I am corporate brother…now my bullshit comes with an attorney.
very funny cuz.
I think the less attractive the guy is (just the shallow stuff) the more of these things he needs to have. The car, the watch, rims…
And you can't just be a rapper…everyone is a d@mn rapper/singer/actor…u need to have a DEAL! been in a movie…at least a commercial or play and RECENTLY – can't be 30 talking about the last time you performed was when you were 16.
with the singing…u still have to look kinda good…and be working towards a deal…have showcases and performances.
too add to the list: poetry drops panties (active poets, not scribbles in ure journal), your job is a shiny thing too! he may not be the rapper but the producer, the A&R rep and be "around" all that life.