There are things that make a guy … “attractive”. I’m not talking about legitimate good personality, a good sense of humor, and a winning smile. I’m talking about those shiny rims, lambo doors, nice shoes, and other shallow pieces of glitter that we all know about. That stupid stuff …
In reality … they rarely work … on good women. Hood rats, scallywags, scuttlebutts, and groupies eat it up like government cheese … but those independent women with degrees and jobs can only be caught rarely.
Over my years as a renaissance man I have amassed a small list of these random things we use to seem “attractive”. For all you guys out there in need of some help … head my list and add a few to the portfolio.
Ride a motorcycle
When I bought my motorcycle everyone assumed I was doing it to get women. I mean EVERYONE. I just wanted to be able to cover a mile in less than 30 seconds … but it’s a well known fact that guys with bikes are just … well … “cool”. Rice rocket or cruiser … you can’t go wrong … they will want to hop on the back.
Drive an expensive car
“Women” (the quotes means I’m talking about the scuttlebutts) love shiny things. Nothing is shinier than a nice car. The more money the better, but there are a couple staples that will always get you some loose vajay-jay. Need that groupie love … go cop a 7 series or a Mercede’s S class. Or my dream car … the Audi S5. Or if you really want to get you want a straight hood rat … get you a hood car and get it “fixed”. Dodge Charger … tinted out … sitting on 22’s … candy paint … yes! Broke? … rent.
Buy an expensive diamond studded watch
After Puffy told the club to put their “Rolie’s in the sky … and wave them side to side” … they’ve been flying off shelves from people who can barely afford rent. As I said … “women” love shine things. Blind em with it … and watch the panties drop.
Get rims … big and chrome
Their shiny… and their not cheap. And when I say big … I mean f*ing huge. 22’s or better … and bonus points if their spinning (not really … that fad died). Again … shiny things that show you have money will attract the skeezers.
Become a rapper or play professional sports
Rappers and sport players are a scallywag’s dream. He has money, he is willing to spend it, and he has money. Their “womens” kryptonite. Just thinking about spending all his money makes her wet.
Make it rain … all the time
I can’t 100% confirm this … but if women weren’t attracted to guys making it rain … guys wouldn’t make it rain. It’s flashy, shows off you have money to waste even though your buying dinner with food stamps, and your willing to spend it. Making it rain isn’t just for the strip club … ordering a big mac … go ahead and supersize it with a shower of ones. Waitress was great … you know what to do … sprinkle her. Hell … take your girl to the park … forget feeding the ducks … feed the people with greenbacks.
Learn how to sing … good
Musicians are sexy (so I’m told). If you can sit there and serenade her … bam …. you got her. Just make sure your good! Your nasaly, cracking, Ja Rule sounding voice isnt’ doing nothing but drying up her “river” and giving her time to plot what excuse she is gonna give you when you “try her” (“oh … I’m sorry … it’s ‘that time’ of the month”).
See the trends? Shiny things, signs of money, and a sense of danger … simple right? Get creative with it … mix and match. Try making it rain while popping a wheelie. Sing to her, while getting drafter, and then blind her with the watch. A motorcycle with 22″ chrome rims … and a BMW emblem.
So … if your lacking swagger, not funny, boring, or just f*ing lame not good with women. Go ahead and start attacking this list. Sure, you won’t have any women of substance and you might get tired of dating nothing but Wendy’s cashier’s and Wal-mart attendants … but hey … get in where you can.
What did I miss? What are the best one’s? To my women … which ones do it for you … and which don’t? To my fellas … success stories?