Home Public Service Announcement Quick! Somebody get me Katt Williams!

Quick! Somebody get me Katt Williams!

31

Where is Katt Williams when you need him? You know, to tell Steve Harvey to stfd and stfu. (USE HEADPHONES IF AT WORK!)
Steve Harvey has been making the media circuit these past few days. I first saw it on CNN…then heard Oprah endorsed it, followed by an appearance on Tyra and a plethora of Facebook status’. Steve Harvey has been making the media circuits and running his mouth.
All the hoopla is focused around his book, “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man” which is hurdling to the top of a best-seller lists and no doubt causing problems in otherwise happy or growing towards it relationships. The book is a self-help guide of sorts aimed at arming  women with knowledge be a winner in relationships. This, ladies and gentleman, is why books should not cultivate our relationships just like they shouldn’t raise our kids.
Thinking “like a man” is a gross generalization that all men, especially Black men, are dogs only out for p***y. Neegro please. If we keep peddling this stuff to the masses it will become generally excepted and in turn truth. To devote a book to women aimed at seeing through a man’s bs is to assume bs is a part of every man. If we approach interactions with the opposite sex these ideas good sex, love and happiness will walk out of our lives. One of my favorite paradigms of Sociology is the social reaction theory or labeling theorywhich primarily deals with criminology and why people behave the way they do. Simply put if your mother is Mrs. Baker and continuously tells you, “You ain’t s**t. You just like your daddy. You don’t do s**t, and you never gonna amount to s**t. All you do is eat, sleep, and s**t” chances are, you will end up not being s**t. If we as a society keep believing the person we’re seeking is fundamentally no good, that what we will continue to find.

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This is my favorite movie. EVERYTIME I watch it I pray Ricky will run the other way.
This is my favorite movie. EVERYTIME I watch it I pray Ricky will run the other way.

I understand we are in a recession and need extra cash, but just because I can make money in porn doesn’t mean that you’ll see my balls on a DVD anytime soon. One of my boys actually paid for the book because he wanted to see just what Mr. Harvey had to say in full context. So far he is most intrigued by Harvey’s 90-day rule which is akin to medical coverage at a new job. I will keep this short and simple. Telling a man to “wait 90-days” is to assume that women do not like sex just as much as men, and we ALL know that false.
From what I’ve heard, read and seen this book underlines the immaturity present in our culture when it comes to being in any degree of relationships. If you must make up a game and arbitrary rules, perhaps you should be writing “circle yes or no letters” and not masquerading as a grown person. In the article on CNN, Harvey tells the story of his daughter and a guy who told her grandfather that ‘were just “kickin it”‘. He goes on to say he called his daughter in, had the guy inform her as such and that they two ended things the next day. First and foremost, Steve Harvey is a hater AND a cockblocker.  Let your (grown) child grow up and make their own mistakes. Parents of young and grown adults alike should not be a Robocop but rather a message board – I can write all over it, ask all types of question but at the end of the day, I make the action. If it took an old-man intervention for his TWENTY-SIX (26) year old daughter and her THIRTY (30) year old male friend to breakdown and see where things were going, maybe she was just dumb and he was immature. Nobody wants to see their kid fall off the bike but they wont keep going unless it happens a couple of times (or so I hear, I never had a bike growing up so I wouldn’t know).
Now Mr. FAQ has not read the book nor do I plan on it. Why go to books for advice when I can just come here?

Comment(31)

  1. I wanted to get his book at first and after I saw the Oprah show but then I remembered how I felt after I read "He's Just Not That into You." Everybody is different and to make the generalization when dealing with relationships and the emotions that play into it is ridiculous. When it comes to you and that other person communication between the two of you is all that matters.

    Now I do have to comment about the 90 day rule. That's nothing new, that's kinda old school… my aunt taught me that one. But it absolutely has nothing to do with women not liking sex. It has to do with respect. Respect for myself to not give it out all willy nilly, and it shows that he has respect for me as well if he's willing to wait. Nowadays women date a lot and if we don't put some type of boundaries up when it comes to sex then what is left of the cookie? 90 days shows that you're respectful of my wishes, of me, not just interested in the sex but in the relationship as a whole. Now there are exceptions to the rule lol. But I think that's the main reason.

  2. I bought the book and only made it through three chapters. My thing is this, how can I get dating advice from a man that has been married three times. Hell he can't even keep a woman! But I didn't find this out until after I bought the book….guess I should have done my research! 🙂

  3. "This is my favorite movie. EVERYTIME I watch it I pray Ricky will run the other way."

    Haha…same here. I either pray that he outruns the bullet, he zig-zags and they somehow miss, or most recently, that he does a Neo Matrix move.

    I honestly haven't read Steve's book yet. I'm curious about it, though.

    "Now I do have to comment about the 90 day rule. That’s nothing new, that’s kinda old school… my aunt taught me that one. But it absolutely has nothing to do with women not liking sex. It has to do with respect."

    Word. Don't act new. Women having sex early is viewed differently than men having sex early. Thus, women view it differently. And just because women view it on a 'nother level doesn't negate the fact that women like it. I mean, I like donuts. But since I view it as thunder-thigh inducing, I don't have too many. Doesn't mean they ain't tasty.

  4. I agree with Cheekie : I mean, I like donuts. But since I view it as thunder-thigh inducing, I don’t have too many. Doesn’t mean they ain’t tasty.

    I think the book has something in it for someone, I say if you want to read it, take what applies to your life at the stage your at and move on. I haven't bought it yet though….still thinking about.

    Bottom line is communication and respect for each other in the relationship.

  5. Bought the book. Returned it. Need I say more? Puh-lease! When did Steve Harvey become a "relationship expert"? Between the 1st, 2nd or 3rd wife??

    Ladies we all have that thing called "intuition"…that little inner voice that tells you when something's all good or just not right. Use it as your guide NOT this book.

    Nuff said!

  6. I'm glad somebody said it!

    He's selling false hope and BS to these women. I see what he wanted to do based on his Strawberry Letter segment, but I don't see Steve as a noteworthy author. Most of what the read is common sense. So again, another person is able to build on the naiveness and insecurities of black women and become a best seller (*cough* Michael Baisden*).

    If you all really want to see how all of this played out, there are clips up on dimewars.com. Watch closely at the lady with her list of attributes and the 6 women who can't find a good man because "they are so fabulous that men are intimidated."

  7. I agree with the ladies here – why do brothas pull that "be a woman and do what you want" vibe when it comes to getting some? LOL! That kinda undercuts some of the other (valid, head-nodding-in-agreement) points you made.

    On to this Steve Harvey thing – isn't most of this just common sense? According to what I've seen on the streets, no. I am surprised at how many grown azz women and men I see acting like high school (or worse, middle school) kids. Really, if you ain't tired of "the game" by late 20's and ready to deal with the opposite sex as one of God's fragile HUMANS – not an opposing team member, there isn't much anyone can do to help you. Playing games on the phone, playing games on a date, still trying to rack up notches on an imaginary belt, stringing people along just to get out of the house, competing to see how much money you can get out of a guy/girl, crazy "tests" to see if they're worthy…..too much!

    Then I realized one big advantage that I have over a lot of women my age, one that makes a big difference when dealing with men – I had my dad. Until he passed, my dad was married to my mom, in the house, working hard and an essential part of our lives. As long as I have a man who treats me like he did I am pretty ok. Guys who don't measure up to him get the boot, quickly. It's that simple.

    All that to say, Steve H. may be playing the "Daddy" role to women. Someone will read his book and be a better woman and partner for it.

    And no, I haven't read it yeat – I'm waiting for someone to finish it and loan it to me. Cuz I'm cheap.

  8. So maybe I don't get it. I don't claim to be the sharpest tool in the shed (well maybe top 3!!!) but why so much harshness toward the man?? I don't have a prob with what he says; it's his opinion. And he just so happens to be making major dough on it. Now the true issue is why people tend to take the word of another as being the obsolete, assuming it must be true under all circumstances and situations. Yeah so of the stuff he is staying is true.

    On real talk, I think most men are afraid that women will start doing just like them. Jamie Fox said, "shawty just like me, all up in the club givin all them dudes hugs.." When the perception is that women are normally aren't the ones who are the agressors in relationships. Ok Steve sold you out! But is it really gonna cause some harm–I don't think so.

    Again I'm not the brightest crayon in the box (top 3–visibly distinguishable) but its all about being quick to LISTEN and slow to react. We as women react too fast. Mistake kindness for depth and extra attention for love. You gotta be in tune with "your number 1" work on doing you; know who you are, acknowledge your insecurities (we ALL gott'em), work toward healing in that area, release you and move on. Do the damn thang whatever it may be!!!

    But damn, cut Steve some slack! It's supply and demand baby–he is meeting the need that was already present. You ain't gotta agree with dude, but respect him dude for doing his thing!

  9. I am currently reading the book, and I feel like it's just another person giving their take on relationships. I don't think that we should lay down all our beliefs and experiences and cling to Steve's book like its the Bible (come on is it really that serious?), but it is quite funny to see women proclaiming that Steve is a relationship expert. I mean he has been in three marriages,yet he probably can highlight and elaborate on what worked and didn't work hell, we all know third times a charm!

    As for Steve selling dreams to women, I think again it goes deeper than that. I mean the market shows that Love is a best seller, so shows, magazines, corporations, and people are using their best means to bank on it.

    For the brothers, I don't think its quite fair or all that serious for Steve to be called a cockblocker or hater unless he's uncovering all the games and techniques you use in your relationships and now you're not getting any play because the girlies can pull your card!

  10. @ Deegroovy
    "Ladies we all have that thing called “intuition”…that little inner voice that tells you when something’s all good or just not right. Use it as your guide NOT this book."

    Profound, but tons of women have flawed intuition, their radar is broken or needs to be re-calibrated. Either that or they ignore basic nature or just don't get what flight or fight response is.

    @Anna N.
    "isn’t most of this just common sense?"

    Exactly…which is why I don't understand how people make profits off of it. Is it that much of a missing commodity that it becomes a lucrative venture. As I've said before…feeding off of insecurities. Michael Baisden did it. Tyler Perry did it. Nothing against those dudes…congrats to them, but it's really sad when the only thing the people who read their books need to do is keep their eyes open, actually listen and say what's on their mind.

  11. I'm not hatin. I dont know anyone who DOESNT have a take on relationships that somehow references old school courting. Besides, if you were famous, you could probably write a book called "People in successful relationships dont learn how to do it from books" and it'd probably be a best-seller.

  12. Tabernacle! I think Steve is giving his take, but some of the things i don't think are 100% transferrable. There's caveats, exceptions, and different situations with every point of view!

    I'm gonna go in on some topics once I get a chance to colelct my thoughts, lol

  13. Steve Harvey takes common sense practices and puts it into book form. Sometimes folks just need to see it or hear it from someone else. The book is not a relationship Bible but a book that will hopefully motivate women (who aren't) to use their God given intuition.

    As a woman who writes about romance and relationships, I'm definately not knocking his hustle. He was smart enough to get a talented ghostwriter to help him with it instead of piecing it together himself. I just wish he would have chosen me 🙂

  14. that 90 day rule is the dumbest shit i've heard in a long time. if you want to have sex with a person, why wait? why play games and have rules? this reminds me of 'two can play that game' when vivica fox had all them rules to keep her man in check and that shit ended up backfiring on her.

    why can't people just live life? steve harvey is a hater. even on his radio show when he sets people up on dates, he still reeks of hate. not a good look.

  15. it's probably a good book, but i think Steve is a bit old school in his thinking.

    may be a nice read, but to use it as the end all source of an entrance into a man's mind… is ludicrous.

  16. @[email protected] I understand where you're coming from. But people need the reinforcement same as Christians need to hear "And on the third day, he got up …"

    Reiteration is annoying, but it's repetition. And if you saw Oprah or Tyra, you realize there are some ignorant ass idiots out there.

    I have a solution for the problem you present in this post: Somebody, Steve or anyone write a book that tells guys how to BE A DAMN MAN.
    http://thismayconcernyou.com/2009/03/25/39-steve-

  17. Bottom line if Steve Harvey would have been born in the mid 70's he'd broke every rule in his book-like the comic Sinbad said "oh if you was a slave I guess it woulda been DIFFERENT for you"-whatever. Same thing ppl knock our generation as IF they coulda did better. Well we are THEIR kids so the apple dont fall far from the tree.

  18. I hate being pigeon holed.
    The bottom line is, he don't me me. That means he's gonna get some stuff right and some stuff wrong in his book, statistically speaking.

  19. Eh. He's saying a bunch of stuff that other fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, aunts, friends have said: Use some damned commons sense. What trips me out most is:

    1. He's been married three times.

    2. Where's the book that tells men how to treat women?? If we assume all men are whores who need to be tricked into submission, then where is THEIR book to teach them not to be whores?

  20. Yes I'm late and a long time lurker. But I'm also I'm currently reading this book and felt the need to comment.

    Not everything in this book is going to apply to everyone. But there is something in this book for everyone. There are too many women out there who's 'Intuition' is just plain off. They need help. If they get it from this book so be it. The vast majority of self help and relationship books are what many people would deem common sense. But if it was 'common' sense, no one would ever end up in the poor (and unfortunately now cliché) relationships that are used as examples in the book.

    I can't knock Steve's hustle. If I could peddle common sense and make millions of dollars doing it, I would. In short I'm with Tiffany-Nicole.

    In regards to Steve Harvey not knowing about relationships because he's been married 3 times. Sure taking advice from someone who married their high school sweetheart and has been married for 50 years is fine too. But that's not the norm. Honestly I'd rather take advice from someone who has been through the entire spectrum. Because that person will have seen all sides. A friend of mine has taken to saying 'Just because the Lakers lost the Championship in 2008, doesn't mean Kobe Bryant sucks at basketball.' Take that analogy as you will.

    That said. I STILL think the 90 day rule is BS.

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