Home Dating & Relationships Relationships personal employees: seasonal, temps, part-time, full-time

personal employees: seasonal, temps, part-time, full-time

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*** Admin Note ***
We’re going to start the guest posts with a personal blogging friend of mine.  She’ll introduce herself, and remember I really want to know what people think.  You can be mean … she’ll be aight.  Bring a woman to the site on the regular is a big step … shaking just thinking about it.
– SBM
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hey everyone! this is the lovely ladebelle! as someone who’s newly single, i thought that writing for my dear friend SBM would be a wonderful opportunity! some of you may know me as the original and founding ranting wild child of rants of a wild child. i’ll never stop ranting but now you can find me unlocking the secrets of myself at aaronica unlocked. i hope you enjoy!

i was having a conversation with my friend dres about the topic of whether or not i should get boo-ed up and he broke down his theory in such a way that i could understand it.

so with that, i give you my adapted version of “dres’s theory of personal employees”:

seasonal/temps:

i suppose in non-business terms this would be considered the “cut buddy” or the “friend with benefits”. essentially, this person is hired for the sole purpose of pleasure. but not like the i’m-gonna-knock-your-socks-off type of pleasure more like the bare minimum that it takes to get off. so this means no oral, none of the freaky stuff, just 2 pumps and a bump.

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so yes, this means save all the tricks like riding to the italian hanger, to reverse cowgirl and all the things that superhead taught you through “home” videos. for women, this may mean that you don’t even mount him. missionary all the way. and then BAM, it’s done. afterwards, you thank him and send him on his way. so of course this means none of the cuddling, pillow chat, or any of the other things.

if you guys happen to be seen together, he doesn’t get an introduction and if he does, it’s as whatever his name is. no titles like friend, person i’m screwing seeing, or any other remotely appropriate titles. and if asked about later, he is just no one important.

the difference between seasonal and temps are seasonal are just that. for a season. spring comes and goes and so do they. temps on the other hand can be called upon regardless. just broke up with your man? call your temp. in between seasons? call your temp. bored with a part-timer? call your temp.

part-time employee:

the part-time employee has more job responsibilities then the seasonal/temps. and rightfully so because they are able to access more benefits then the seasonal/temps. in non-business speak, this would be most closely related to dating. with this position there are a couple of stipulations:

  1. no getting busy for 90 days
  2. there must be a phone interview, a first interview, and a follow up interview following the application
  3. if the part-time employee puts in for a promotion, you either have to be ready to promote him or fire him on the spot… no exceptions
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within the job description of the part-time employee, dates and other things tend to occur. especially before the 90 days. after the 90 days, dates continue in addition to getting busy. the difference here is that there may be more then one session as he will not be immediately kicked out following the first session. in addition to not having the door closed behind him post “nut”, there may be some possible position changes and even kissing here. nothing too romantic or anything but there is more to it then the 2 pumps and a bump.

now if you’re seen with your part-time employee, they get introduced  they not only get their name shared, but they have the title of friend. when asked who they are later, they are normally described as “someone i’m seeing” versus the “no one important”. it’s still too early for titles outside of friends. now, this is where things can get tricky. the part-time employee should think that they are the only part-time employees. should you employ other part-time employees, they should not know about each other.

full-time employee:

essentially, this is your man. but for the sake of, well i don’t know what it’s the sake for, but i’ll write out a description of the said obvious. by the time you employ someone full-time, the seasonal/temp and even the part-timer is no longer needed. why? because your full-time employee is now waxing that <ahem>, giving you great conversation, and is taking you out for nights on the town.

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now, ideally, the part-time employee will be promoted into this position but in the even that that doesn’t happen, the stipulations that applied to the part-time employee apply here as well.

conclusion

now that we’ve gone over the levels of employment for your personal business, what types of employees do you guys employ? if you aren’t currently employing anyone, what type of position are you currently interviewing for? talk to me!

xoxo
ladebelle

Comment(19)

  1. I think your firend makes a great point.

    I have a full time employee right now…

    Before then, I had a few part timers but they weren't even getting it after 90 days (what would those be considered as?)

  2. Right now I have a full-time employee who is trying to go permanent. If he passes the probationary period, then he will be upgraded to permanent status.

  3. i have a full time employee who may get the upgrade/promotion who knows. I wonder what you feel about consultants. A third party you bring in to help "enhance" the relationship?

  4. I need a part-time worker. Position available immediately but must pass vigorous interview process. AS a matter of fact I have a stack of applications on my desk and these candidates are not up to par. Perhaps I have to outsource to another country?

  5. I most comfortable with having a full timer, cause both parties gets full time benefits. From my experience a full time "employee" is normally more reliable, and dedicated. less than you have with the unstable seasonal/temps/or part timers.

  6. I currently have one part timer and a couple other prospects who are just in that dating phase. My part timer is just that… a part time guy. I don't see it getting anymore serious than it is so I'm still playing my cards to see if I can get a better hand.

  7. Hey Lade! such a great addition!

    I currently have no employees… i think. My former part-timer has taken some PTO, i guess. sad i know. lol

  8. I have only one opening available and that is full time permanent, like CPT said candidate must pass vigorous interview process and probationary period. Bi sexual/DL men need NOT apply, only heterosexual HIV free prospects will be given applications.

  9. Great first post on the site, ladebelle!

    Comparing relationship terms to employment is pretty relevant. I like the idea of that 90-day probationary period, especially for those who don't want to give up the goodies too fast, but aren't sure how long to wait. Those who need a timeline would have one.

    According to your friend's descriptions, I'm currently interviewing for a full-time employee.

    Also this:

    "so this means no oral, none of the freaky stuff, just 2 pumps and a bump."

    Had me cracking up. Because I just got a visual of MC Hammer's terrible choreography in that video.

  10. "Had me cracking up. Because I just got a visual of MC Hammer’s terrible choreography in that video."

    Which just made me think of his "member" in a Speedo. Eck, I don't want to think of MC Hammer in a Speedo

  11. LOL!!! you guys tickle me…

    @nicki: nice, a full-timer? hmmm… he lookin for that promotion to partner in nicki enterprises? it's that season!!!

    @peyso: LMAO!!! i didn't think about that but i actually don't like consultants… they try too hard to sell you on their product and i'm just tryna focus on my bizness… ya dig?

    @CPT: uh, they have a website for that… ask SBM about it…lol

    @ziggy: so what happens if you have no full-time prospects or you can't afford to pay the full-timer? do you not go for seasonal/temps?

    @reign: see, ur part-time was given waaaaay too much PTO… did he earn that? cuz last time i checked in with u he was on vacay still… is this some kind of medical leave? if so, he needs to be terminated IMMEDIATELY… i don't care what FMLA says…

    @kwana: i ditto this posting… but i need a seasonal/temp…lol

    @cheekie: thank you!!!! yes, i agree… [email protected] reference

  12. LOL be careful, cause if you occupy the position with a temp or seasonal employee, then the ONE possible full timer/permanent prospect might pass on by…..

  13. Good Post Lady!

    It seems that the Temps have it a little better than the Part Timers though. They get to waive the 90 day probation period, have excellent work/life balance, and can most likely go temp to hire if they truly apply themselves!

    Ive gone the part time route only to get fired for a previous employee, but that's another blog, lol

  14. i dont want no seasonal temp…i had wack meaningless sex…

    either part time or full time

    we will see

    im on unemployment right now

  15. "@nicki: nice, a full-timer? hmmm… he lookin for that promotion to partner in nicki enterprises? it’s that season!!!"

    @ladabelle: He's been promoted to bf. lol… Sunny's got a BEAU. (*FINALLY*) LMAO.

    "Ugh…Nicki, that ain’t right! lol"

    @cheekie: LOL.. I had to share the visual!

  16. i suppose i'll answer my own question now…

    well, after coming off my abstinence kick (no snide remarks SBM) i've decided that it's time to get a seasonal/temp employee…

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