I am a Single Black Male (well … technically since I’m not married).  But something else that I am … something I talk about but leave out of my name … another label that I have is … professional.

Yes … I am a Professional Single Black Male.

The term “professional” is used all the time … adored by many (mainly boughie black folks) and hated by others … we all know what it means so I’m not gonna spend all day defining it.  Basically I’m talking about your educated, white collar, sit behind a desk and waste your life away for a paycheck type of career people.

Being a black male professional, means I have a healthy amount of black male “professional” friends (except for Ray Ray and Nuck Nuck … can’t take them n***s nowhere).  At some point you and your boys, usually when drunk or high in a sharing mood, exchange “life stories”.  You get a basic timeline of how things in their life went down and what molded them into the man they are today.

There is one thing I often find in common between these black professional men when comparing their younger selves to their current selves. Lets investigate one particular Professional Single Black Male as he grows up:

High School

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High School is … eh.  Our subject studies too much, doesn’t go out enough, and has too high grades.  He has friends, is popular enough, and has fun … but while his girlfriend is … OK … all the cheerleaders are going for the n****s on parole in the high school.  Did I forget to mention our subject attends your typical “ghetto” high school … hood rats galore.


College is usually the Professional Single Black Male’s coming of age.  He significantly improves his ability to talk to women, with the diversity of people he finds in college he finally understands himself better, and he finds out where he “fits in”.  Sadly, he has to devote a lot of time to studying and keeping the scholarship that his high school GPA gave him, mix that in with the fact that there are so many women and you will see why he isn’t “settling” down.  He’s not smashing like crazy … too many credits … but he is def getting it in.

Post Graduate

Now, our subject finds himself working a relatively nice job with a real career.  He goes to “grown & sexy” happy hours, investeded in some good suits, and has finally made it into the “uppity” crown.  But now something interesting is happening … he is getting a lot of attention from the opposite sex.  Everywhere he goes women are shocked that he hasn’t been to jail, has a job, and doesn’t have a baby’s mama.  He’s finally made it.  Let the orgies begin!

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Now … I can’t say this model works for all Professional Single Black Males … hell … probably not even half … but it highlights an important concept that I’ve seen.  It can best be summed up by quoting the none other than Mike Jones:

“Back then they didn’t want me … now I’m hot they all on me”

Apparently a lot of the “highly desirable” men, once you hit the high 20s, came from meager beginnings.  Back when they were actually studying to get into a good college, and then studying even harder to do good in said college, women were passing them by.  I’m not saying they were losers … but when girls are young they want a “thug”.  A guy who has a gun is cool, and the guy in the marching band is dorky and … just … ugh.

But, once the diploma’s are handed out, and lot of the guys getting head in the high school bathroom getting the attention back in the day are locked up or working at UPS, its the lawyers, engineers, and former nerds that are desired.

The inherent problem … many black men just don’t handle this well.  I can’t tell of how many countless stories I’ve heard of “professional” black men who won’t commit because they have so much to choose from.  Its like the person who was denied candy all their life … suddenly gets the keys to the candy store.  Do you really expect them to just choose one?

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I admit this isn’t everybody, but is my premise wrong? Are there a lot of desirable professional black men who refuse to settle down because they want to enjoy their newfound popularity? Can you blame them? Should you blame the women who dissed them in the past?

Makes ya think … huh