Hi! My Name Is…

31

Chikka Chikka Slim Jackson

I’ll be honest. I’m not very good with names. I can meet someone and have them tell me their name twice and still manage to forget it within seconds of our brief conversation’s end. More than likely, I’ll probably forget it while the person is still talkin’ to me. It’s one of my tragic flaws. It really is a shame…and it will never change. Ever.

Over the years, my struggle to remember names has had a crippling effect on my interaction with women. Let me be more specific:

My struggle to remember names has had a crippling effect on my ability to interact with Black/Latina women.

I can’t even count the number of times that I’ve been caught off guard by someone I didn’t recognize even though I met them before, or someone I recognized but just couldn’t remember their name. It’s happened with both men and women. But for whatever reason, I find that (Black/Latina) women tend to take it a helluva lot more seriously…

Woman: Hey Slim! Remember me?!
Slim: Heyyy (pronounced “uh-oh”). Yeah! I remember you!
Woman: Oh yeah? What’s my name?
Slim: F*ck…
Woman: That’s not my name. Wow. I’ve met you twice. What’s really good wit that?
Slim: I’m just bad wit names.
Woman: Whatever…
**In most situations, I’m able to smoothly play it off for some period of time before the truth is exposed. I may opt to ask for her number then ask her how to spell her name as I put it in her poomps my phone to make sure I “got it right”.**

The interesting thing about this is that I don’t even need to be tryna holler at the chick to get this reaction. It doesn’t matter what the venue is. It can be at a party. It can be at the club. It can be at a bar. It can be at a community service event for the homeless. If I don’t remember some chick’s name and she finds that out, more times than not there will be at least 1 person there other than myself that thinks I’m an assh*le. Actually, she will probably tell at least 1 other chick there and then that person will also think that I’m an assh*le bringing the total tally to 3. Woe is me…

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Sometimes I resent the attitude that I get from women when they realize my name memory isn’t flawless. I get particularly annoyed when a chick that’s Greek gets angry at me because I don’t remember her name, where she pledged, what number she was on her line, and what her nickname was. I mean really though? Just because you have three symbols on your shirt and wear a certain color scheme I’m supposed to remember all these details about you just  because I wear the wonderful letters of Omega? I don’t remember pledging or reciting an oath that included my duty to please all booty be the ultimate human database when it comes to the opposite sex. I’m an assh*le? Oh okay. Happy Holidays!  I hope you flow for 2 weeks every month instead of 3-4 days! (Certified a-hole statement)

I really don’t understand sometimes. It’s like getting mad at a blind man for not being able to see, or getting mad at a deaf person for not being able to hear you. I geniunely forget names. Never once have I forgotten a name and seen the sky start falling as a result. Yet, the reaction I sometimes get from women when this happens would make it seem like that’s the case.

What’s good with this not so goodness? If I’m not tryna date cha’, what difference does it make if I remember your name the first time around? Ladies and Gents, what say you on this topic?

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Sans Good Memory Sometimes,

slim jackson

Comment(31)

  1. I think, "what's my name then?" is a dumb question that was asked in the first place.

    To me, it signals that a person is trying to place their importance in your life… whether they matter enough for u to remember (or maybe I am overanalyzing again?)

    I say, be confident with who you are… speak and keep it moving. There is no need for backtracking. Simply a nice, don't I know you from somewhere is good. Charm will get you everywhere.

  2. @Nicki

    "To me, it signals that a person is trying to place their importance in your life… whether they matter enough for u to remember (or maybe I am overanalyzing again?)"

    I don't think your over-analyzing. You are right. Some women just expect you to be blown away by them at first sight.

  3. There's nothing better than the 'two week flow" line in this entire post. lol. That is, indeed, written in the finest asshole quality.

    I do have a suggestion for you, if you want to remember a female's name (not that you do), ask her what her name means. I wrote this piece a week or so ago about the meanings of names …
    http://thismayconcernyou.com/2009/04/06/47-people

    Knowing the meaning is sort of a reinforcement. Then again, the next time you see her, she might ask you her name and you might only be able to respond with "I can only remember that it means 'light of the world.'" … who knows? I'ma link back to this post on Friday.

  4. @thismayconcernyou

    I'll check out that post. It sounds like a pretty good jawn.lol. I am much better with association/context than the actual name.

    @Nicki

    That "what's my name" or some variation thereof happens a lot. My answers to that question are continually evolving.

  5. I'm not asking anyone to remember my name because when (not if) I forget theirs I won't feel better. I do well with aspects of personality than names…especially if you're of no imporatnce in my life…

  6. I am just as bad so I can care less if a dude forgets my name. But most of the time they remember me and my name and I'm seraching through Facebook trying to figure out how I know them cause I don't recognize the face or the name. lol And I have met dudes who make a big deal out of it, like I'm suppose to remember that you sat behind me in integrated marketing communications our junior year, NP (n***a please).

  7. I am the same way. I will forget a guy or girl's name in a heartbeat and then when I do meet them again I'm like "hey you!" or something or that manner. I used to go to this club frequently and there was a bartender that was always really nice to me. We would have long conversations about our life and everything. He must of told me his name twice. I known him for over a year…but do I know his name, absolutely not! lol

  8. I usually forget names if that person did not have any immediate effect on me. If I've had a few beers in me, I hope she has plenty of cleavage showing or says something like "Hey CPT, come nibble on my ear" because usually I will forget withing about 5 minutes. Again…this doesn't happen to my "special" ladies.

  9. I agree with Nikki Sunshine. I'm not really good with remembering names when I first meet someone either….BUT if its worth the effort to remember, I do. I don't get offended when folks don't remember my name at all, I don't get that….

  10. lol I think the name thing is somethin a lot of people forget. Honestly how many times a day do we meet people? Online/offline we get bombarded from time to time. I for one have stopped trying. Even if i'm dating someone I can't remember the name I just give them a name (i.e. Mr. Text. Mr. Racism doesn't exit, Mr. Beef Patty, Mr. Maybe, etc.) it works wonders. For other people I am ALWAYS asking how to spell their name to put in my phone. Every greekis Hey Greek! and if i run into someone I know that know I just jump right in with Hey You! before they can get to me. One guy I went through school doing that and only found out his name was steve when he signed my year book. Good times Good times..

  11. PREACH!!!

    I have this same thing happen to me all the time. I'm horrible with names, but women don't want to think that they simply aren't special enough to be remembered. I've even had the same thing happen on facebook with some friend requests I didn't recognize.

    From now on I'm going to curse them all with 2 week flows also … f* up their whole life.

  12. "Woman: Hey Slim! Remember me?!
    Slim: Heyyy (pronounced “uh-oh”). Yeah! I remember you!"

    I always joke about the elongated 'hey'. If it goes a second too long, it's clear proof that you don't remember someone's name.

    "I’m an assh*le? Oh okay. Happy Holidays! I hope you flow for 2 weeks every month instead of 3-4 days! (Certified a-hole statement)"

    Cold-blooded.

    I'm thinking women usually think that a ninja who forgets their name are some sort of player that has so many hos young ladies in their roster, they can't keep 'em straight. It's like the cleaner equivalent of a man yelling out some other chick's name during the good-good.

    But yeah, there are men out there who are genuinely bad with names, no matter the gender. However, every ninja out there can't use this excuse reason. Just own up to it and say you forgot. lol

    Nah, on second, though lie…lie like a damn bedsheet.

    As for me, it depends on the name. Sometimes when we have a set discussion based on the uniqueness of a person's name, it's pretty difficult for me to forget it. Or if that person somehow "fits" their name physically. But if it's just some random encounter or if it's been a really long time (years) since I've seen or spoken to them, then no, I probably won't remember either. Faces are much easier.

  13. i can't hardly remember people's faces lol

    people shouldn't be so sensitive

    now if your hubby forgets your name, then maybe u should raise an eyebbrow

  14. most men are poor with names. it annoys me because it makes me feel like they're not listening or paying attention.

    One big pet peeve, though, is when they take a stab at remembering (example, "Diana, right?" what and who the hell??? Not even close). Just say you forgot.

    And that "how do you spell your name?" so they can put it in their phone is lame too. I always say, "it's spelled exactly like it sounds." Exaggerated pause. Dude, just say you forgot.

  15. "I always say, “it’s spelled exactly like it sounds.” Exaggerated pause. Dude, just say you forgot."

    Agreed…what if the chick's name is Lisa? womp womp

  16. I am really bad at remembering names so I'm not going to be upset if you forget my name. I think its ridiculous that people think that much of themselves that they believe they are unforgettable to EVERYONE. People really need to get over themselves or at least learn how to play off their disgust in someone forgetting their name tastefully.

  17. I used to be great with names, before I started working part-time at a gym. When you meet ten new people every week, you'll start forgetting people.

    But if I do forget your name, so what? If I haven't seen you in three years and we only spoke occasionally back then, what makes you think you're so special that it's a crime against humanity that I forgot your name? Some people need to get over themselves.

  18. I'd just like to clarify that my personal annoyance in having my name forgotten is relegated to the circumstances of our initial meeting/first conversation, as Slim refrenced in the first paragraph. If a dude decides to come up to me and speak to me and asks me my name, and we have a brief conversation, I don't feel as though he should have to ask me my name a second time to be able to put it in his phone a few minutes later.

    I'm not talking about meeting somebody and then the next time I see them is on the street 2 weeks later. Of course you've forgotten my name, I forgot yours too, out of sight out of mind.

  19. I need to be in a certain mode to remember names and usually I have to repeat it in order for it to stick. Also, I need that person to say their name themselves for some odd reason. If someone else introduces you, I'll more than likely forget. I dont really worry about forgetting a name but I DO feel bad if someone says we've met before and I dont remember.

  20. I am terrible with names in certain circumstances. If I am introduced to a bunch of people on my first day at work, I will most likely not remember any of their names for weeks. However, one on one interactions are different, I tend to remember the person's name because I remember interacting with the person.

    Now if a guy who was trying to date me forgot my name, I would not be offended, but I would not take him seriously. I'd just assume that I was just another one on his "list." If a man is interested in me (dating wise), then he should remember my name. I most certainly would NOT point it out, but it would color the rest of my interactions with him.

    However, if it was someone who met me in passing somewhere or I had a brief conversation with the person, or have not seen the person in years, I would not expect that person to remember by name b/c it's not fair to assume that the person is thinking about you enough to remember your name.

  21. I tried the "How do you spell your name thing" in the phone, but will never do it again after finding out the guy's name was John. Slighty embarassing. Usually if I'm out I'm with someone else, so if I dont remember their name, I'll have the two strangers introduce themselves to each other and wala! I've got the name.

  22. I can't remember what I'm saying in the middle of my own sentence, let alone remember a stranger's name… I work in a political office, and my past job was coordinating for an arts network. I am also DivaSTating, so my network is VAST. On top of that, my name is of Aramaic origin… I often pray, when running into familiar faces, that they have forgotten my name. If I can't remember a simple name like Tiffany or John, I can't expect anyone to know mine, and am often embarrassed when they do. The few people that do know(ish) my name, mispronounce the Eff out of it though.

    "I get particularly annoyed when a chick that’s Greek gets angry at me because I don’t remember her name, where she pledged, what number she was on her line, and what her nickname was. I mean really though?"

    @Slim, Greeks should know better; as many people as we meet every 5 seconds (especially as Neos)… I don't remember any Greeks' names unless we are extra cool. In fact, I kicked it with 2 SisterGreeks/Sandz from another Org 3 days in a row last week, and I only remember one of their names… Greeks should just be happy other Greeks recognize that you are Greek when you are not in your jacket…

  23. LOL this is funny. I am the total opposite. I NEVER expect people to remember my name because my own memory is garbage. In fact, people often think that I am being snobbish because I constantly re-introduce myself and I have to explain to them that I know we met before but I don't assume you remembered my name.

  24. Slim What's good,

    I have the exact same problem as you. My only issue is that ill meet someone, not see them for 6 months, then see them again and they expect me to remember their names! My mind works in a LIFO (last in first out) format. f you dont do something significant, or we have a pertinent conversation, I WONT remember you if I never see you again! If its someone I know ill see on a recurring basis, I'll tell them to give me 3 strikes. After 3 times if I still forget, then they can do with me as they please (pause just in case).

    I'll always remmber a face though!

  25. im bad with names too oh fuckin well they will get over it..Dudes be acting all senstive because i cant remember their name..oh well get over it!!!

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