I was reflecting this past weekend on women of relationships past and how awful my decision-making process used to be when it came to selection. As I said in a previous post, I often confused my wants and my needs. I don’t think I ever wanted or needed crazy and deceitful, but I managed to get those things anyway. At the very least, maybe I wanted a challenge and was intrigued a bit by those women/girls that appeared to be “a little off”. Perhaps I looked over the gigantic hunting knife in her closet because she had long flowing hair and dazzling eyes. Maybe I ignored that eye twitch because she had a plump rump. Oh well, that’s neither here nor there. That eye twitch will be relevant later in this post though…
What I’m gonna discuss today may not seem like a new and ground-breaking topic. However, one can never have too many perspectives when it comes to listing signs that someone may be secretly crazy, mentally/emotionally unstable, or just plain socially inept. Sometimes the signs are outward and obvious, but we choose to ignore them. Other times the person is highly skilled in concealing his or her true identity until that Peachy Phase comes to a conclusion. Though off-topic, I’d just like to take this opportunity to say that I think that movie “Obsessed” comin’ out with Beyonce, Idris Elba, and that white chick is gonna be bunzdoodoo. Nonetheless, I present to you my brief and non-exhaustive list of signs that shorty may have some serious problems:
If anybody who reads this blog was home-schooled, I’m sorry. Though there are a significant number of people who were home-schooled that are normal, there is also a large number of people that were home-schooled who have social adjustment/maturity problems. This is a yellowish-red flag. The shortest relationship of my life was with a chick that was home-schooled up until college. We lasted roughly 3 weeks. I quickly found out that she was an unknowingly racist Latina. She turned into a make-out monster when other women came around. She called my phone 15 times in 5 minutes “just because”. And lastly, when I finally dumped her, she laughed and didn’t believe me then scurried to Facebook to block me and put up status updates about what I was missing out on. Delusional. If your potential significant other was home-schooled, tread with caution unless she’s extremely pretty.
Crazy-Eyed and Unusually Determined
When you’ve been messing with a person for a couple weeks and they change their name to “My Love for life” in your phone, the spinning red light and siren should descend from the ceiling. This chick/woman had large piercing eyes. I don’t mean fish eyes. To some, they could be considered sexy and provocative. That’s what I thought initially…
Then I realized her eyes could very easily mean death. This is the stalker type who does everything short of ring your doorbell then hide in a bush while a dead rat lays at your door step, or call you from a blocked number and just whisper your name slowly over and over as you continue to shout hello. She has laser eyes that could burn a hole through your back. This person does exist. Coincidentally, she now leads a successful financial services career. I feel bad for her husbands. Yes, husbands. Do not deal with this type unless you think it’s really cool that she does modeling and stares at you during times when she should be focused elsewhere.
Hood with a History and a Twitching Eye
Just because someone graduated college doesn’t mean they are no longer hood and/or crazy. If a chick tells me that she used to live with a guy that was hood, and that she has had to call the police or change her number because of 2 or more Ex’s, she’s crazy. If her eye twitches on schedule every 4 minutes and 23 seconds, she’s probably crazy. If you pretty much catch her creeping and she goes nuts because she got caught, she’s crazy. If she has to state her confidence in herself daily with a variety of curse words, she is both insecure and crazy. Do not deal with this type unless you think it’s cool she has a full-time job and that she pretty much meets your ideal physical criteria.
The eyes really can tell a story and crazy comes in all sorts of sexy shapes and sizes. So for today, what are some of your indicators of craziness based on personal experiences or those of people around you? What have you mistakenly ignored? Are you crazy? If so, please tell us how you hide it so that we don’t get hot grits thrown on us while we’re sleeping. Thanks!
Wondering why shorty has a strait jacket in her closet,