***** Admin Note *****
I’ve never acknowledged any previous milestones, but today Slim will usher in the 300th post. Its been a long time, and I remember the humble beginnings of this site, with just me slaving away, writing everyday, with all of 3 subscribers. Now, over a year later, we have a lot more readers, a facebook page, myspace, and twitter. Thank you for reading … I really really appreciate it.
And I said i wouldn’t cry …
– S “Staying on that Grizzy” BM
Some people say that honesty is the best policy. I completely disagree…usually. Sometimes you really just need to lie your a$$ off. There’s no ifs, ands, or butts about this one. We often make the mistake of asking questions that we really don’t wanna know the answer to. I’ve done it before and ended up pushing the car into the lake learned the hard way to not ask about certain things ever again. But see, answering questions when asked is one thing. Volunteering information that coulda been left unsaid without being asked can be a completely different ball game.
I was sitting unproductively at work last week having a group conversation on one of the many popular instant message platforms. One chick was talking about how she was dating multiple people. Each man had his purpose. Whether she took the pumpington from more than one of them, I don’t know and didn’t dare to ask. Perhaps one dude was there to utilize his face, while another was there to provide the Magnum jackhammer, while another was there to provide discounts and VIP access to select upscale NYC clubs. Who knows.
Regardless, the polarization of the sexes in this group chat quickly occurred when she asked if she should tell each of the dudes that she was seeing other people. Now let me be clear. I’m all for being on the same page with a coital pal. I also believe in not being a Simp at all costs. The only way to avoid being the Simp who agrees to date a woman who tells him she’s seeing multiple people is to beat/hit/pummel/pipe and then repeat this process with multiple other women. If he is not beating, he’s a sucka. If he is beating, at least he’s getting something out of the situation. Quality time with a beautiful woman does not apply here. But I digress…sorta.
To answer her question, I suggested she tell the men upfront in an effort to allow those who were in danger of becoming the Simp to save themselves. Of course one of the women in the discussion quickly said that she shouldn’t tell any of them anything and should just keep “Doing her”. She went on to explain that men don’t like knowing they aren’t the only one (partly accurate). Therefore, she needed to preserve their ignorance. I was shocked and appalled in a very manly way. Another woman tried to say that men do this all the time and that it’s no different than a guy having a starting line up of women. More shock and appall.
But it is different.
I know too many dudes that have a line up of women that know about each other to some degree, but don’t care. The man can literally tell them that they aint the only ones, and a lot of times they will stay there because of “the understanding”. And no, these aren’t always low self-esteem and desperate chicks. I’ve had female friends (quite respectable folks) be completely comfy in their role. Do I know any dudes that are content being one of a few dudes? Eh, only if they’re beating. And at that, they prolly don’t respect her that much.
So should the chick tell each of the dudes that they aren’t the only ones and risk dissolving her “starting line up”? Does this issue really go equally both ways? Do you believe in keeping your starting line up in the dark? What say you all?
Call Me Coach J,