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Sex Slang for 2009 … roll that newspaper

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Slang is an every changing thing.  Words often have a shelf life shorter than milk … and what’s hot (is hot still cool … or is it hizzle … naw … that’s played already) changes every 3 months.

Well, here at SBM.net, we strive to be in front of the curve rather than ride in on it.  We are not just cool (that’s still cool to say … right?) … we define cool … we ooze cool … we’re so cool that we are beyond swagger … we’re jylacious (give it another year).  As part of this tradition of defining what’s hot and keeping ya’ll informed … I present …

SBM’s Sex Slang for that 2k9

Juice Box

I’m stealing this one from a Gorilla Zoe song, and also was the inspiration for this post.  Basically, he claims that women need another word for the va-jay-jay, the p*ssy, the punany, the ill nana, the … u get the point.  So now we have … Juice Box.

Definiton:
A woman’s special “fun fun” area.

Usage:
“Let me get your juice box wet for ya.”
“Girl stop faking … let me drink from your juice box.”

Writing on the Chalk Board

All the way from my days in high school … this one is a personal calssic.  It’s time to make it mainstream and bring it to the world.  Expect to hear it in that next Lil Wayne song though … cause this one is hot.

See Also:  How Can Women Avoid The Friend Zone?

Definition:
When a man ejaculates on a woman’s face. Get it … white on black (or green) in some cases.  Also know as a cumshot.

Usage:
“Dawg … Rolanda’s a freak … she let me write all over her chalk board and aint even blink”
“Man … I can’t kiss my girl no more. I wrote on her chalk board and can’t even kiss that chic no more.”

Scoundrel, Scallywag, Scuttlebutt

I’ve thrown these out before … so some of you won’t be shocked.  Their a combination of terms from many friends from over the years.  They are generally interchangable, but each with their little caveats that only practice can perfect.  We already got the track for Scip Scop Scallywag laid out … its dropping next month.

Definition:
A hoe … a chicken head … a roller.

Usage:
“Man … this club is filled with scoundrels ready for the picking.”
“I told you not to mess with that scuttlebutt … chick just looks like she done ran a couple trains.”

Roll that newspaper

A true SBM original.  Riding around in the car, thinking the dirty and perverse thoughts that keep me entertained 60% of my waking hours, and then … it hit me.  So when your trying to talk up a girl, and you really want to unleash that faucet … let her know can’t no one roll her newspaper like you do.

See Also:  Ladies Love Good D...or Face?

Definition:
Eating a$$ … aka a rimjob … aka licking chocolate … aka … you get the picture.

Usage:
“Girl … you ain’t never had your newspaper rolled by a n***a like me before.”
“I mean … I’m not gay or nothing … but … this girl rolled my newspaper something serious last night.

Stealing His Kids

A variant on some old terms … but time to change things up a little.

Definition:
Swallowing his … uh … man juice

Usage:
“Yeah son … she’s a kid stealer … doesn’t even flinch.”
“Uh uh … you want me to do what … steal your own kids you nasty motherf*cker.”

My list needs some work though, I’m only one man.  What terms are you trying to take to the big leagues?  What have you and your friends been using?  Who has the next “p*ssy”, “dirty sanchez”, or the great “va-jay-jay”?

Comment(20)

  1. No matter how you say, tossing the salad is nasty. Say what you want, but from my past experiences I'm not going there… maybe when I'm married and I have a more thorough knowledge of his #2 schedule. Until then, the dirty washcloths in my shower that so and so used is enough for to say Hell to the No. EWWW… do that at home!

    Definitely no writing on the chalk board, no sir. Nope. I like the juice box term though, sounds appropriate lol.

  2. re: "Scoundrel, Scallywag, Scuttlebutt"

    word: SKUZZY

    Also known as scollywop/skallywaps, skallyscrags, skeezers, scrags, smut, smeezers, hoosers, skankywop, and smegales.

    HUGE fan of any variants. 🙂

  3. @ raqi – I thought i was the only person to say smegales. I would like to add "Shrags" to the list also.

    I like the list though, especially the juice box jawn.

  4. lol. as far as the last one, in undergrad we used to call it babysitting.

    "man ole girl is a mean babysitter"

    -Roll that newspaper could catch on i think.

    -Juicebox is hilarious to me. I almost died when i first heard the song.

  5. I LOVE the list. Funny!
    I have an addition, tee-hee. My homeboy and I actually came up with this one on accident. Thought it was kinda funny.

    Tickling the throat

    Definition:
    Deep throating or giving head

    Usage:
    “Man, that chick be letting everybody tickle her throat."
    “Man, I tickled this scuttlebutt's throat last night.”

  6. This is funny. But SBM check out, Juicy – London feat. Young Dro. Even funnier than Juice Box with Gorilla Zoe.

    I have one.

    The Rolling O

    Definition: Getting head from a chick sitting next to you, with her head making a rolling motion as she takes it in.

    Usage:
    On the way home, you didn't see this, but that chick gave me a Rolling O.

    Well when we were in the club, we slid off to this random room and while we were sitting there talking she just hit me with the rolling O.

    She doesn't really like basketball so while i'm watching the game she tries to use a Rolling O to get my attention.

  7. I like the juice box… and tickling the throat is a funny one too! As people become more open about eating arse and having their arse eaten…I guess rolling the newspaper will pick up as well.
    Good post.

  8. lmao…. my personal fave is "saucepatch" which i think is a lot better than juice box. my sis and i love to use hoebag or slutbucket, but i also like the ones u suggested in this post.

  9. reign

    you messing up the post talkin all about what you won't do and don't do..come on, You made my d*ck soft…give us a break lol

    Seriously tho..This is a good list 😀

  10. @ true: when you see a wash rag with a dudes sh*t on it in your shower, you put up limits. That sh*t was nasty. Now anything is a go with my husband, but you crazy if I'm licking a n*ggas ass who ain't committed a lifetime to me. You are a grown ass woman so put your tongue on what ever you please… talking cooter, now that's some HS sh*t.

  11. lol…lighten up

    I dont lick man's azz neither…I'm not into that..just for the record.

    and this is a fun post…I was tryin to be funny, you know, funny

  12. My crew and I have been using the term "shaking the juices" to describe the deed for years….also "romping around the room"

  13. I like the juicebox one.

    I've been using "pillowfight" as a term for doing the grown-up when one needs to be a bit more discreet. Its caught on amongst my friends.

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