Home Dating & Relationships Men's Relationship Advice How’s it Going Down?: Who is she creeping with?

How’s it Going Down?: Who is she creeping with?



Wise words being quoted, “B*tch you f*cking him!”

All men are built with the impeccable talent to find a way to explain why every guy is trying to take his girl down. Why? Because I’m a man. As Tony Yayo said, “p*ssy is p*ssy, so yea I hit that.” Some of you guys are slow, or just whipped and can’t see when some dude is trying to fux your wifey. Or maybe you just feel invincible and she would never cheat on you. Listen to me, to date Doctor Jay’s best advice, “B*tches cheat, get over it.” I’ve taken the liberty to list out the unsuspecting types of dudes you need to watch for and their M.O.

The Starting Five:

1) Scheming on the Culo

Some dudes just can’t help but to always be scheming on the culo. These are a very low threat because they will practically have sex with anything. This accounts for 99% of all men. However, if your girl has anything like; respect, tact, or just a general sense that she would like some type of commitment between the two of you (This is 1% of all women), he’ll probably end up taking home a single woman.

2) Her Ex and her Butt Buddies

You better watch these guys like you watch the time. See there’s an unspoken rule, you can’t get in trouble for something you’ve already done. And in an ideal world there would always be a reason why your ex is your ex, however, sometimes the reason’s are less severe and lead to relations after the relationship which never tailor off completely. For example, they only broke up because she was moving away. Her butt buddies have always been there for her in her time of need, she’s likely to go back to them when she just wants sex, with someone who knows how she wants sex. UNLESS, she has determined that the reason she’s with you is because she doesn’t just want sex. Godspeed Gentlemen. This is why you do not argue with your girl. She will get frustrated and call up a butt buddy.

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3) Man, look at shorty go, (I love your girl)

There are some guys who are just obsessed with women who have boyfriends. I just can’t call it. I have never been obsessed with the challenge. Because I mean are you really doing something, if you can take down some girl who is willing to cheat on her boyfriend? I mean, think about it for a second. Yea…er..um… I don’t know. However, they will lurk like lions at the water hole waiting for a fawn to fall by the waste side. They are the ones who just want to show your girl a good time. They are the ones who offer them that One Night Only commitment. These guys usually are attractive, charming, and make it clear that they won’t ask for any commitment after the deed is done. These are the dreamkillers.

4) Her Homies

[Deep exhale]. As a man with a lot of female friends, I realize how contradictory this section will be. However, in reality there are but only so many male friends a girl can have who are not trying to have sex with her, or will not, even if given the opportunity have sex with her. Trust me on this one. Also be mindful that some of her male friends have her ear. She goes to them for advice and they sometimes will work their way in for some nassa mean ya heard. It’s hard to give you tips on how to avoid this situation, but it starts with the following: 1) Does he have a girl or a chick you know that he’s having sex with? 2) Did they used to mess around back before y’all? 3) Is she reluctant to introduce you? 4) What is the nature of their relationship as friends? Just to highlight #4, keep in mind that if her “male friends” take her and her friends out to the club, get them in for free, and buy them free drinks all night, I’m going to say that 75% of the time, they are not as platonic as you think.

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5) Your Homies

Could there be any more fire to spit? Good God Yes! Some times when you are scouring the crowd looking for haters, you need to be looking at who’s looking with you. Your homies will smash your girl. And that type of taboo sexual interaction is a turn on for some. And because 99% of all men will have sex with practically anything, this includes your girl. When confronted with your girl wanting to have sex with your homie, your homie doesn’t think about you, he thinks about how he can get away with it. And the messed up thing about this situation is that it makes you look the stupidest out of them all. Because not only do you have a dude eating from the table with you, who is more loyal to this scuttlebutt you call a wifey, but your wifey with whom you trying to build something with is more loyal to your homie than she is to you.

This post had to be edited from its original version because I had much more information to share that I had time to give. I think I covered it as best as I could.

So to the commenters a few questions: Am I far from the truth? Ladies, what are some adjustments you make in your life or things you do to reassure your main of trust in these situations? Fellas, please tell me you hear me. I read some of your blogs and I know some of you have had relations with women with boyfriends.


  1. Very enlightening post, Dr. J.

    I haven't had to make any adjustments with my man. I have a "friend" (I use the term loosely bc I often take the role of his therapist) that used to always try to get seconds but since he found out I have a man now, he's way more respectful.

  2. This is a timely topic. I will make sure my man doesn't read the post. LOL He has an issue with me being friends with one of my exes; although I've explained to him that this ex is just a friend and there is no chance in hades him and I would ever think about hooking up again–in other words, the ex is not a threat.

  3. I think you also have to be weary of the girl's homies boyf. She done heard about laying it down right and she wants a slice or maybe even to get back at the chick for not calling her back this week.

    I think #1 and #5 are not real issues. #1 because the chick you decided to wife, as long as she was not a JO prior to, should be self respecting enough to avoid these type of dudes. Not even on the strength of you but because she shouldnt want talk to them regardless of if she was single or not.

    #5 shouldnt be an issue because if that's ya homies, ya ace boon coon, he just wouldnt. What you need to watch out for is the friend of a friend. The dude that is in your squad but aint exactly YOUR mans, he is the enemy

  4. Interesting post. Although I disagree with… "However, if your girl has anything like; respect, tact, or just a general sense that she would like some type of commitment between the two of you (This is 1% of all women)…"

    What type of women are you around??? Unless the women I know are just part of the small amt of women who don't get down like that and I doubt that population of women is so small, you are definitely over-generalizing.

    If you have to worry about things like this, then maybe that woman should not be wifey. These are things to watch out for if you are with someone you do not trust, and in that case, you should not be together.

  5. Hmmm…I've been a #3 before, but it was only because there was a period of time where they were coming at me. I told them I wanted nothing serious to do with them and no contact with their man: cool.
    I don't do that no mo though…I find even though women cheat very sneakily, some of them don't know how to shut the door behind themselves well.

    I feel you on a few of these joints SBM, but I can't concentrate because I have ESG (chopped n Screwed) Swang and Bang in my head…

  6. @peyson – oh yeah, your right about the girl's homie's bf. i mean, #5 is only a real issue to me because i'm constantly faced with the fact that most men just can't turn down punani. And.. #1, yo most of these women were jumpoffs at one point in their life. The real chicks will at least admit it.

    @remi – i'm just saying, in this world these days it's hard to find people who aren't always out for themselves.

    @cpt – I appreciate your honesty. And you hit on my point that really would have been the angle of this post. As much as women think they are conniving and slick with their shit. THEY NOT SLICK.

    They seriously lack tact in most situations, it's just that the dude has to figure out a way to confront her about this ish without coming across psycho.

  7. @Remi- My feelings exactly.

    @Dr. J- Good post. Dead on.

    The only time I have ever been unfaithful, is when I kissed somebody on a dare in 7th Grade, but he definitely was a friend-lol. But I have noticed that often after a relationship in my adult life, the next guy I'm eyeing is usually(pronounced "always") my male friends. The next guy I date is usually the friend, who will then admit that they've been crushing(pronounced "trying to smash") since we met.

    I can't tell you what ridiculously high percentage of my exes's had homies that unsuccessfully tried to smash either during or immediately after the relationship. Some even tried in the courtship phase.

    Also, if you switched genders on this post, (wherever you have "male", replace with "female" and vice versa) it would still be a dead on post.

    Moral of the story- choose wisely because almost EVERYBODY is trifling. lol 🙂

  8. so, i have a bunch of male friends, some may wanna hit and some may not, but really, i don't think they are real threats. if i wanted to mess with any of them like that, i prob would have way before i was in a relationship anyway. with that said, i would say that i am a loyal girlfriend, so my man shouldn't have to worry about my male friends.

    on the other hand, if i'm NOT in a relationship or talking to someone seriously, an ex is definitely an eligible candidate for getting it in every now and then, esp if we ended on good terms and he's still single. though i try to not take steps backward, messing around with an ex is sometimes better than messing around with some next dude. however, if i am in a relationship, i would definitely avoid hanging out with the ex like that to prevent re-igniting the temporary fire.

  9. Keep your friends close. Keep your enemies closer. Watch BOTH of them muthafcukas!

    Excellent post as always my G.

    I'm just weary of the chicks who "claim" to not "realize" that dudes want to holla and try to play the innocent role. Hell, I've had "friends" and frat bros alike who tried to get at shorties I dated, WHILE I was dating them! She would tell me about it, but that was a strategic move on her part (whole nother blog), and I just remembered that. No need to demand anything of her, because you can't force fate and sometimes,you must let the natural course occur to test the relationship, while not being played for a sucka.

  10. i don't think this post is far from the truth. but in the grand scheme of things if your s/o wants to cheat they will cheat. there is no sense in trying to figure out who they are going to cheat with and why.

    if i'm going to be with you then i'm going to trust in the fact that our relationship is strong enough that she isn't going to throw it away on some bullshit. if she does then its her loss and i'm moving on with my life.

    the only one that really irks me is number 5. i wish i would find out my homeboy was/is trying to smash my girl. there would be a major misunderstanding.

  11. @streetz – "I’m just weary of the chicks who “claim” to not “realize” that dudes want to holla and try to play the innocent role."

    For some people it's not playing innocent, it's the truth. I know I rarely notice things like that unless it's blatant or someone points it out to me.

    I've noticed a few times my ex's "friends" (when we were together) attempted to flirt inappropriately with me, and I just ignored them. But I did feel disrespected and also wondered what he said to them about me that would make them feel comfortable enough to approach me. Could it be that this behavior from a friend is invited by the things you mention to them about your gf or SO?

  12. 11. Tunde
    May 14, 2009 at 12:42 pm

    i don’t think this post is far from the truth. but in the grand scheme of things if your s/o wants to cheat they will cheat. there is no sense in trying to figure out who they are going to cheat with and why.

    ^^ THIS! Thats my whole point exactly fam. I cant control it and wont chain my shorty to the radiator to prevent it.

    Ill tell you… u def gotta watch certain dudes… think of the old parable about the dude who befriended a snake, and one day the snake bit him. The dude turned to the snake and said "we're the best of friends, why would you bite me?" The snake says "im sorry,thats just my nature"

  13. I would just like to add food to the kitchen…

    A lot of people suspect their significant other is doing what they would do in a similar situation….

    I think this indirectly address what a few of you have been saying.

  14. See #4 is similar to my bestfriend's situation. She has a lot of males that she calls her "brothers" and so do I, but the difference with my "brothers" and hers is that I actually grew up with mine. Our families are cool and we practically are that – brother and sister. However, with my friend it's always a male friend that she meets and becomes close with and she gives them the title "brother". Dont get me wrong she never hooks up with any of them & out of all of her "brothers" only one of them has proven to be true to her and really be her best friend. But even when my brothers hear she has a new "brother" they shake their heads because they know that the dude(s) may pose as the good brother role, but if they could hit…they would.

    I told my best friend this and she didn't believe me until my brothers told her to go on three way with them and confess her "dying love" to them and see if dude man runs with it. And as soon as she said she had feelings, he all of a sudden did too and after she told him she was playing it changed her friendship w/ him and everything became weird when she was around him. Now she knows…you could call him a friend…but he's really thinkin more.


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