Apparently all the good black men are MIA. The topic of brothers and bunnies has been discussed and explored since the days of slaves defying massa to get him some pinkfoot. “Why that fool Jebediah keep messin’ wit massa daughta? Don’t he know massa gon kill him?” Well thanks to the Emancipation Proclamation, brothers don’t have that problem any more. I mean, the Klan could always get him, but honestly, if a black dude lives somewhere that he has to still worry about the Klan, he really shouldn’t even be living there much less contemplating marrying a white woman. Point blank.
I have a standing policy whenever I’m in public and I see an Ebony n’ Ivory couple, I immediately stop what I’m doing and give them a round of applause. Of course, there’s a slight undertone of sarcasm that comes with that applause, but at the end of the day, I applaud them for not caring what anyone thinks and doing them. Cuz honestly, it’s not that big a deal for me. But to hear a sister tell it, brothers are lining up in droves to worship at the feet of white women. Now, I’ve never walked a day in a sister’s shoes so I don’t know how they perceive things, but what I do know is that perception is not often reality.
I could try to sit here and come up with a whole bunch of explanations as to why brothers seemingly prefer white women. But quite frankly most of it would be BS and the rest of it unproven theories based on a pot head’s logic, so I won’t even bother. I do however have an obligation as a cocksman to speak the truth, so here it goes.
Men like p*ssy.
White men like it, black men like it, Asian men like it, Latin men like to eat it, Indian men like it, midget men like it too. English men like it at 4pm. Arab men like it so much they cover it from head to toe and promise each other 72 pieces of it upon sucessful completion of their jihad. Gay men even momentarily like it during that awkward phase in high school/college. Ever seen a guy with a girl and wondered “Why her?” The answer is simple. She has a vagina. It could be black, white, short, tall, fat, or skinny; men like it all. I could dress the answer up for you, but I’m not that guy. You know what they say, you are what you smoke. That makes me blunt. I wish the answer was more scientific but it’s not. Simple biology. Brothers like women and don’t discriminate. Of course every man has their preference, but most brothers find what makes them happy and keep it movin’. And if it’s a white woman, so be it. Sisters keep trying to over think the situation as to why this happens, but they’ve forgetten that men are very simple.
Of course, this is not an old discourse as it is the topic of conversation in every nail shop (at least the ones on the South side of town.) But what I’d actually like to have the sisters help me figure out is what constitutes a good black man. In one breath, women complain that black men don’t love them anymore. In the following breath, they proceed to itemize all the reasons “N*ggas ain’t sh*t.” Brothers that date outside their race are perceived as weak sellouts that can’t handle a “real woman” and the brothers that remain loyal to the sisters are either playas, cornballs, on the DL, married, don’t make enough money, still live with their mamas, “out of shape”, mama’s boys, complete jerks, someone’s baby daddy, or slightly on the uh….small side. (From what I’ve been told, I’m the complete jerk) You take all those brothers out the mix, that leaves about 2,500 black men sprinkled across 50 states. Slim pickings.
The funny thing is, for every sister that makes this complaint, there is or was a good black man that worships the ground they walk on and would use your bathwater to make cereal. But he usually gets overlooked for one of the reasons above. And that’s cool, I’m not going to advocate lowering your standards or settling. But it would be nice if this foolish theory was laid to rest. Sisters, we still love you. And most of the time when women are saying this crap, their either salty with a brothers at the time, or feeding into hearsay. Who knows, maybe this perception is actually a reality for some sisters. Maybe there are some sisters out there who repeatedly have Waiting to Exhale moments like it’s Groundhog’s Day. I’d like to be sympathetic to you, but I’m sorry I can’t. Grow up. It’s a rough and tumble world out there and quite frankly, if he’s not that into you, maybe the problem is uh………..you.
I’m no expert, so tell me what it is folks. Are the brothers really bunny hoppin’ or is this a ploy by Oprah and Tyler Perry to sell more product? Any sisters have to run up in their ex’s office and smack his milk o’ magnesia secretary? Any brothers that prefer their women the same color as their blow? Let me know.
Ignorant by blood not relation,
RightCoastLexSteele, The Toast of the Town