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The following email came in from a reader, and since I have heard this question countless times, let me go ahead and drop a little bit of knowledge on the subject. Apparently some women are confused about men and their choices in women. *sigh* … you would think it would all be obvious by now.
Hi. I am an avid reader of your blog, find your posts to be both humerous and enlightening. However I would appreciate your perspective on this topic (and perhaps you’ve already convered this and I missed that entry).
I am a single, black female. I am 23 years old. I do not have any kids. I am a college graduate and now work full time AND attend graduate school full time (and by graduate school I do not mean Webster University or any other online based masters program.. not to knock them). I feel that I am very attractive, and am an in shape, athletic person.
How can someone like me be perpetually single, while other women…who can only be politely described as hoodrats who give little or no contribution to the world other than babies, have men knocking down their doors?
I have asked several men their take on the situation and have been told the following things:
1. Hoodrats are easy, and as a result men have lower expectations
2. Black women are gold diggers
3. Black men are too afraid of rejection
I could continue, but this email is already entirely too long. I basically want to know why good girls are always single?
There is a group that is represents success, beauty, and the rewards that often come from hard work. They are educated, accomplished, and driven. They are leaders of their industries, and they taking care of sh*t.
Then why are so many of them single?
Yes, I’m talking about your typical strong, accomplished, and professional black woman. It seems like this group of women always has trouble with black men, as our reader is currently struggling with.
First and foremost, let me address these “reason” she has found.
Hoodrats are easy, and as a result men have lower expectations
I know I have preached my love of hoodrats before … but lets be real … neither I, now most professional black men are really settling down with a hoodrat. I’m not looking to strictly support anyone, I’m not looking to wife up a person I can’t take to a corporate party. But … there is a lot to be said for “easy” women. Sh*t … I don’t want some chic hungry for a guy and attacking me because I have a real business card … but sometimes I gotta say f*ck a challenge. Some women make it too hard.
Black women are gold diggers
I think most men know that all women are golddiggers, not just black women (I’m joking … don’t kill me!). It’s a well known fact that any black woman with even half a degree and a close to decent job refuses to entertain any man without a degree from a 4 year school and a good job … but that’s not stopping anyone from hollering. Try again.
Black men are too afraid of rejection
LMAO. Black men are afraid of rejection?!?!?! I think 10 minutes at any club, supermarket, or street corner will show you that us black men are still getting at any thing with an a$$ any upstanding woman with reckless abandonment.
So … what is the answer then? Why are there so many smart and beautiful women that are having so much trouble finding men, while there are plenty of “less professional” women who are happily bunned (read: wifed) up? It’s simple …
They are more focused than you!
I mean, there is more at play than that, but if I had to pick one single reason why there is such a disparity between the super “professional” female and the non … that’s it. Your average “professional” woman is busy with her 2nd or 3rd degree, making partner at her firm, or taking over the world … and your average guy is going to be a 2nd class citizen. Simply stated … a less ambitious woman has more time for her man.
So, back to the email and our dear reader who is afraid that she will forever be single. First and foremost … breathe. Your 23 and you have way too much to worry about right now. Go ahead and get your degree, chart your path, and go conquer the world. Once your done battling the professors, then worry about getting bunned.
To avoid being a statistic, just remember … men like women who have time for them. We aren’t as bad as ya’ll … and we enjoy our free time, but it’s good to be wanted by a woman and have a woman show that she’s interested. But don’t ever think that there aren’t a million men out there searching for their corporate queen. I love a smart, educated, a career driven woman … and I know there are plenty ready to co-sign on that one.
It’s gonna be alright …
Am I right? Am I leading this girl astray? Do I know what I’m talking about? The best answers come from the comments … what do you think?