Home About Me I Hate R&B: The Slim Jackson Edition

I Hate R&B: The Slim Jackson Edition


I like music. I like rap music. I even enjoy ignorant gangster rap. I don’t enjoy Soulja Boy and other songs that hypnotize people into doin’ a series of coordinated dance moves. Only dance I’ll do nowadays is the Electric Slide and maybe the Young Joc motorcycle thing. What happened to Young Joc anyway? Eh, that’s a question for another day.

When I’m in my car, I blast boisterous rap unless I’m pulling into my predominantly white neighborhood. It’s the only type of music that I play. I don’t play R&B. I, similar to SBM, hate R&B. There was a point where I had a few R&B albums in my ipod or on a CD, but I eventually got rid of ’em. I tried. I really did. Granted, there are a few songs that still get play, but those songs have a rapper on ’em or the beat is really uptempo. If it’s not uptempo enough for me to work out to it, I.Don’t.Want.It.

I listen to music to feel good and get my energy level up. R&B doesn’t accomplish this for me. Actually, it fails horribly at said task. Listenin’ to someone croon about how they lost the best thing they ever had in their life or how they finally found love puts me in a mellow and non-productive mood.

How can hearing someone sing about love not make you happy? Are you just bitter?

I have absolutely nothin’ to be bitter about. I’ve found and lost love before. Most of us have. I can appreciate a singer’s talent when I hear it, but I can’t imagine rollin down the street smokin indo, sippin on gin and juice wit the windows rolled down on a hot summer day blastin’ some R&B sh*t. That just won’t happen unless I’m with a boobookins and she’s drivin’, in which case I’ll be rockin’ ear muffs or tryin’ to aggressively make conversation to make sure the music stays off or is barely audible in the background. It’s a win-win situation no matter how you look at it. Pleasant conversation in exchange for no emotional arse music.

See Also:  Mood Music: Different Songs For Different Occasions

I also can’t imagine sittin’ in my apartment drinkin’ a beer or other alcoholic beverage and then decidin’ to turn some R&B ish on. Why do I wanna hear that when I’m cleanin’ the bathroom or washin’ my sheets? Granted, it may have played a role in why I’m washin’ my sheets, but it’s really not something I would just think to start blastin’ in the crib or have playin’ in the background. Maybe there’s an ice box where my heart used to be, or I’m really tryin’ to avoid bein’ some emo ass dude. No matter how you look at it, I just don’t like that type of music.

Now for a lot of folks, particularly the ladies from my experience, R&B is a major part of their daily lives. To not have R&B playin’ at every opportunity is to not have water or nourishment. I can respect that, but I sometimes wonder if my disdain for R&B really drops me off a woman’s radar. I’m also wondering if there are other people out there that feel the way that I do about this type of music.

Is there anybody who can deal without R&B? What do you think about this genre? Are there folks who won’t date someone because they don’t know or like R&B? Have I condemned myself to eternal loneliness? Let’s talk about the good, the bad, and the  ugly. At least I know I’m not not ugly. Gooday.

See Also:  Meet the Parents

Rap music is love music too,

slim jackson


  1. Everything in moderation fam. I have no problem admitting I listen to r&b, but not on my own too often. And it's usually neo-soul or old skool.

  2. Being that I am a musician, I'm usually payin' more attention to the MUSIC that the lyrics anyway. Cuz there's only so many ways to say "I want you", "I love you", "I want you back", or in the case of girl anthem shit like Jazmine Sullivan, "fuck you nigga!!!"

  3. I would never *not* date a guy because he only listened to rap. Granted there is rap music that speaks horribly of women, but I guess as long as it didn't effect how he spoke/treated me or other women then I could deal. Just don't ask me to listen with you.

    It all depends, though, on how integral music is to your life. I personally would like for me and a guy to share musical tastes. I don't only listen to R&B, I definitely have my fair share of rap in my collection, but I don't want to have to sit in silence because we can't agree on music to listen to.

    There are some women people out there who don't care about music one way or the other, and there are women who love rap. So the options are most certainly there.

  4. Great topic! I definitely feel you.

    When you mention R&B are you just talking about singing in general or just R&B?

    I don’t hate R&B, but I can’t listen to a whole R&B album, and certain songs and artists definitely get under my skin. I prefer more neo soul or jazz, if I am going to listen to someone singing. For instance, I love Jill Scott b/c she really does amazing things with her voice when she performs and her lyrics are amazing.
    However, in general I listen to rap. I can’t get with the slow R&B melodies or the cheesy, sappy lyrics. But if it’s old school R&B (before the ‘80s), then I am usually okay with it.

    Most times when I listen to R&B it’s when I have my friends (with the exception of one) around b/c a lot of them like that corny stuff, but I totally feel you b/c I find a lot of those songs unbearable. It’s always annoying when DJ’s say “this one is for the ladies” b/c I know it’s going to be a song that I friggin hate. I know people will want to kill me for this but I don’t like John Legend, the Dream get’s on my nerves, especially with that “Walkin on the Moon” song, I can’t stand Alicia Keys’ music, I absolutely abhor Usher, and the list goes on.

    So obviously I would not hold it against a guy if he only listens to rap.

  5. @Remi

    **slowly clapping…pickin up the pace…clapping faster…..all out applause!**

    And for some reason, I had pegged you as the R&B type.lol. I'm not talking about singing in general. The world would be a sad place if people didn't sing. I'm focusing specifically on R&B…in general. I'm definitely more tolerant of some of the "older stuff". Every now and then I'll start singin some random song and have to slap myself.

    I've never really listened to jazz either. That is something that I'd be open to. Apparently there's a spot out here in Boston that I've been told to hit up. Hmm, maybe I'll do that tonight just off the motivation.

    I also listen more so to the music than the lyrics a lot of the time. I'm not a hardcore dirty backpack underground hip hopper that critiques every song that comes out. I just wanna feel good and energetic when I'm listening to something. The music itself sans lyrics can accomplish that for me.

  6. I am NOT a fan of slow jamz…fine, I'll say I HATE them. Its just not my thing. Like you, I have to have my music uptempo, which is the only kind of R&B music I listen to (and I don't think you can truly call that R&B).

    Honestly, I come across more men who are into true R&B…the extreme sentimental R&B/slow jam kind. They usually look at me funny, when I say please change that!
    [Maxwell's Woman's Worth or whatever that song is called plays in background]

    disclaimer: I like Maxwell's Pretty Wings at the moment.

  7. My appreciation for R&B stops at about the year 2000. I think minus real artists like Maxwell, Bilal and maybe Jamie Foxx that I'm disenchanted about the tight jean wearing cornrolled crooners nowadays. I keep various form of gangsta ish in the ride: Chopped and Screwed, 90s street themes, Go-Go, My own personal mashups…but Rap & Bullshyt? Nope.

    Don't get me wrong. I can listen to classic soul all day everday. I love a good slow jam but nowadays these dudes sound like chicks and the chicks all put out heartbroken, revenge albums. Either that or feminist solidarity tracks (which won't get any play in my ride). I think R&B should apologize for allowing the market to get saturated with whiny kids instead of baritoned geniuses like Barry and Isaac.

  8. LOL Slim.

    A lot of people think that upon first meeting me. I just think that rap relates more to my life than any other type of music. I appreciate all variations of rap, even the most foolish and commercial. Eg., I would never buy a Soulja Boy album, change the station if he is on, and I hate “Turn my Swag On”, but I can appreciate the diversity it brings, also little kids (and some grown folks too) love that mess. I appreciate it b/c I love the diversity that rap has.

    I think I know which jazz spot you are talking about, but I have never been there. I have been to a few now that I live in NYC and they were pretty cool. It’s definitely worth checking out.

  9. I'm not into current R&B songs right now. I'm more of an oldies person, since that's what my parents listened to non-stop. Most of the R&B songs are pretty repetitive when it comes to themes ("you cheated on me, I'm so sad right now, let me go cry in a corner" sort of stuff). I'd rather listen to "Love Train" and "September" since they are more upbeat.

  10. Correction: SBM does not hate R&B…as a matter of fact he fell in love with John Legend if I'm not mistaken, lol.

    I for one, HEART R&B music. It's mostly what I listen to, but I'm an optimist and I believe in love and the power that it possesses. I'm from Flawda, so I love me some down south "rap" also…especially the dance songs, lol…but hey it's how we do down here…we ACTUALLY DANCE!

    As for rap, I have my favs…Common, Lil Weezy, Jeezy, Joc, Mos Def, Outkast, Rick Ross…and a few others.

    I'm not gonna front though, Soulja Boy, F.L.Y., and any other commercial "rapper" provides for a good time.

  11. Slim, I agree.

    For me, there just aren't enough words in R&B. I like rap for the creative writing, witty punchlines, similes, raw emotion, etc…

    The R&B artists I do listen to are the ones that sound like rappers but have more melody (t-pain, the-dream…)

    I don't really like Gospel music either. I can't condone wack music just cause you talmbout Jesus, sorry.

    ***disclaimer**** maxwell is not included in my loathing of r&b

  12. @Jasmine

    I just talked to the man himself about this.lol.


    "I can’t condone wack music just cause you talmbout Jesus, sorry."

    I was rollin around laughing…then I heard a voice tell me I was about to be struck by anti-miracle lightning. So I stopped.

    Are there any other types of music that folks downright despise? Obviously, we can continue to loathe R&B today. But let's not limit the fun!

  13. @Slim (@me) & @ Carver:

    I feel u on the "music sans lyrics" tip bruh. As for other music I can't stand, ….most of the shit on the radio today. I'm a real big proponent of underground hip hop (read: good shit that doesn't get airplay, or very little airplay). I'm also with Carver on the creativity that hip hop has, that R&B..never did.

  14. I used to be an R&B fan (I can’t listen to “kill a [email protected], f*#k a b!tch” all the time), but this sappy, syrupy crap that’s been polluting the airwaves the past ten years or so is just nauseating. I can do a few of the current neo-soul artists, but I can’t listen to the majority of R&B music today. I'm down with just about anything from 1973-1998. Someone needs to make an Nas-inspired “R&B Is Dead” album.

  15. I hate all that hip-hoppity stuff and don't really keep up with the hype. I just found out who Drake is. As a musician and writer, I heart R&B for its lyrical substance and the actual music behind it. Do I like the R&B of today? Nah. That's why I keep that of the 90s in heavy rotation. The thing about R&B is, there's a song for every emotion—be it slow or fast. I just can't fathom willingly listening to a song that has gunshots as the underlying beat.

    My boo is actually a lot like you, Slim. Sometimes, when I'm driving, I do try and compromise by putting on some Rap/Hip Hop stuff I can actually stomach (e.g., Common, Kanye, True2Life). Music is a way of life for me: It's one of the things I find most significant in my day-to-day. Do I wish he and I could connect on the same level, musically? You betcha?! Is it a dealbreaker, though? Nah, it ain't that deep.

  16. hahahaha… slim, u mad funny.

    @nyela goodness — gun shots in music only make it better. and true 2 life music is the truth. have you been catchin' their new music mondays? http://bit.ly/X3UEb

    Me personally, I like R&B but I don't love it. The last time I loved it was the mid-ninties when male r&b groups ruled the scene (nh) (boyz 2 men, jodeci, shai, silk into 112, dru hill, etc).

    Older R&B/soul/funk groups are the truth tho. Earth, Wind & Fire always gets it in, and aint nobody can tell Frankie Beverly nothin'. It's just been when r&b's sound fused closer to hip hop's did it get whacker to me….

  17. "***disclaimer**** maxwell is not included in my loathing of r&b"

    This stuck out to me amongst all the comments. Maxwell trumps everything. lol

    I like R&B because it gets me in the chill, "soft & pink" mood, but honestly, it's hard to find one that'll end up on replay status. I can probably find more uptempo songs in my iPod.

    "I don’t really like Gospel music either. I can’t condone wack music just cause you talmbout Jesus, sorry."

    LMAO. Even though this statement is all kinds of wrong, I think it holds true…and even Jesus would probably condone the above message. If it's a wack song (which I don't think ALL Gospel is), then a lot of people won't listen to it, thus the message isn't sent to a mass amount of people, thus epic fail for Mr. Christ. And that's not good.

  18. LOLOL @ this!

    I can tolerate r n b. I like the braggadocious "bytch u crazy and im the ish" type of RnB.

    Because women like it, I like it. Some songs I can relate to, and I vibe from time to time. Sometimes I want to shoot myself listening to it because I dont want to feel like I have to slit my wrists when chillin in the crib from depression, lmao

  19. I'm wagging my finger at you Slim…Stephen Colbert style.

    Most new R&B and new music in general for that matter is trash, granted. But old school r&b is definitely where it's at. I can't even lie, I have a few R&B tracks on my mp3…some Janet, some Ursher, some Teddy P and some Isley brothers…excellent cruising/L blazing music.

  20. …..if i thought you were talking about REAL R&B my feelings would be hurt but since you're talking about all this recycled "please baby baby please" bullnish i can understand.

    now…real r&b is like barley water and sago to me…mother's milk. i'll take phoebe snow over jazzmine and alicia ANYDAY…you can't 2 step (a real 2 step), bop, sway, waltz (if you're caribbean, you know what i mean) to them.

    on any given day you'll find me in my car with nothing but R&B copyrighted before 1980…and before you ask, wonder or postulate my age, i'm in the 30 and under crowd, lol. same for reggae…dancehall is not for me beyond 97…well it depends on what mood i'm in b/c i will blast anything with a drop leaf riddim, other then that beres is my man.

    give me something to dance to

  21. Music is such a large part of my life that I couldn't date someone who hated R&B UNLESS we liked the same rap artists and he liked jazz. I can't be in a relationship with a dude who has no musical common ground with me, just like I couldn't date a Republican or an atheist. I sing, play viola and dabble in piano so the music I like tells a story about who I am. Music shaped me the same way that my religion and politics do.

  22. ehh. can't really roll with you on this one team. i actually like r&b. i like all types of music (souljah boy included-on certain songs). sometimes (esp in the morning) i'm not trying to hear yo gotti rap about oil base and fish scale or hear fab rap about diamonds in his damn chain. i like to mellow out in the morning hours. so you might hear me listening to ryan leslie or raheem devaughn. now catch me in the afternoon and i'm probably bumping gucci mane (well damn!) or red cafe.

  23. @Tunde

    It's okay to be an R&B bruh. I'm not disappointed. I won't even give you the "meow" treatment. I appreciate your candor.


    You're the first woman today, I think, to go as far as saying she couldn't date someone who didn't like R&B. You are the 2nd or 3rd to mention jazz. Hmm… what does this mean.

  24. @ Slim Jackson
    What can I say, I know what I can compromise on and what I can't. Plus I sing r&b songs all the time so if you hate that type of music, I'll get on your nerves real quick.

  25. Fam, I concur. Like most of the folks that have commented already, I can't get down with the "R&B" that plays on the radio right now. It's horrible. From the "man hating" music to the "baby, baby please/get my nut off" songs that are on blast currently.

    I can listen to the 90s stuff, but even that will make my ears bleed after awhile. Marvin Gaye, Earth Wind and Fire, Isaac Hayes and The Spinners will always put me in a good mood though.

    But after about 15 minutes, the only R&B I want to hear is the sample that my favorite MC is rhyming over.

  26. I can dig R&B. Especially old R&B. Sunday afternoon, the Isleys, Otis Redding, Teddy Pendergrass, Marvin Gaye, The Dells, you can't beat that. Don't act like you don't bump that old Lenny Williams on your itunes from time to time.

    "So I called my friend, and my friend said, Lenny, you gotta forget her about her…" Then I watched TV til TV went off.

  27. I guess I should clarify that by R&B, I mean old school R&B. Aside from John Legend, Ne-Yo and the soul folks (Jill Scott, Maxwell, etc) I don't count as anything that came out after 2000 as real R&B. The stuff out today is just urbanized pop.

  28. I'm an R&B dude. It's my favorite genre. But what you need to understand is that all R&B is not equal. Not all R&B is about love. A lot of R&B songs are just about life in general. Just like rap or any other genre, you have to figure out what kind of R&B works for you. If none of it applies to your life in any way then I can understand why you wouldn't listen to it. But I don't believe R&B should be generalized. Last thing I'll say is that for me, R&B has had a pretty significant impact on my life. Being a straight male, its helped enhance my respect for women. I love women and I love the fact that certain songs make me think of the woman in my life without mentioning her ass and the way she shakes it.

    H. Charles

  29. Honestly I couldn't live without my R&B (particularly my neo-soul). "Can't imagine going through it without soul music". Like really what would I do without Maxwell, Erykah Badu, Jill Scott, D'Angelo, Amel Larrieux, Teedra Moses, Goapele, etc… At the same time I couldn't live without some of my favorite hip hop artists either but none of that mainstream bs… I mean its fun to dance to but I prefer music with substance so hip hop artists like Common (but he's turning on me), Slum Village, Little Brother, MURS, Immortal Technique, Lupe Fiasco, and of course all the oldschool rappers like A Tribe Called Quest, Pharcyde, Souls of Mischief, Camp Lo, etc….

    Hmm… well I don't think I would automatically write someone off because they didn't like R&B but as long as they could deal with me blasting it all the time I could probably deal. If they absolutely hated it then there might be a problem because I'm not gonna not play my music just because he doesn't like it. But yea I don't get it. How can you not like R&B? Lol. I understand you not liking Pleasure P or Ne-Yo but there are a lot of really good R&B singers from the past.


Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Get SBM Delivered

Get SBM Delivered

Single Black Male provides dating and relationship
advice for today's single looking for love

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This