Home About Me Another Day … Another Year

Another Day … Another Year


Today is my birthday.  I’m feeling old now, but I’m also feeling a little bit wiser.  This is the second birthday I’m sharing with the blog, and it makes me thing about back in the day when I used to single handily write 5 posts a week in order to get some readers.  Now I got a super dream team of writers, and life is a lot different.

Anyways, as I am now <insert mystery age> years old, I figured I’ll take this time to drop some of my nuggets of wisdom although I’m younger than some 40% of the readers.

So, since I’m not working today, since I always take my birthday off, I’m going to share:

Things I’ve Learned During my Time on Earth

I’m starting to like booty

While I have, and always will be a breast man … booty is making a strong case nowadays.  I know find myself walking behind my girl and just oggling as she walks down the street.  Rarely before was I able to find the allure in ass … but as I have aged … I have found myself appreciating it for all of its glory more and more.

Having a good girlfriend is easy

For years, dating was always work.  Being with someone always meant sacrificing some significant portion of “me”.  It always felt like I had to give up either my dreams, desires, sanity, or something in order for the other person to be happy.  This always left a sour taste in my mouth about relationships, and it’s another reason I didn’t think twice about naming myself Single Black Male.  Now that I’m in a relationship that’s great and easy … well … sh*t … I now realized that …

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I like having a girlfriend

I’m not saying that I didn’t like any of my exes or potential girlfriends, but they don’t even compare.  Everything is fun, life is good, and since I outgrew the club way before I got bunned up, it’s nice to have a reason to keep my arse inside the house.  It’s a lot easier to convince one person to go out of town or follow you to a restaurant than a group of your friends.

I’m a old soul

I used to be the “wild” one.  I used to think I was the one who was out there, loud, and throwing dollars out the moon roof while yelling obsenities at random chics as we drove down the street acting up.  But, I feel so old now, and being several years away from 30, I’m not really old.  Now that I know I’m a homebody, I no longer need to fool myself.  N***a, I’m not trying to go out, I’m good.

I will never understand women

One reason for this site was to further my research on the female thought process.  I was going to crack the code, figure out the secret, and enrich the life of men everywhere.  I would also write a book like Steve Harvey and add a few millions onto the stack with the book.  It would also help give me the happiest wife in the world, who would think of her husband (me) as a true gift from God.  But, age and wisdom has shown me how outrageous and crazy my goal was.  The female mind is a mysterious black hole that is never to be truly understood.  There are some basic things that I’ve learned and will use as I move forward … the rest … I give up.  Let someone else go through the trouble.

See Also:  What Do Men Learn About Rape Growing Up?


I try not to get too personal with this space, and I’ve never been the one to “put it all out there”, but I’ve been drinking (I mean … it is my brithday) and I’ve been thinking … so I wanted to share.

What nuggets of wisdom do you have to share with the world? What did I get wrong and you feel I need to fix? What do I do with myself now that I’m old?

– SBM aka Your favorite Blogger’s Favorite Blogger


  1. To start off, I'm young, very young, barely making it into the bar young, BUT since forever, I've always been independent which lead me to always surrounding myself w/ older ppl hence me having a completely different mind-set than any of my friends.

    A few things I've just come to accept about myself within these past few yrs:






    I will say the one that I've really just come to terms w/ is the being single and being by myself. I've always have had a BF or a booskie since forever, mainly bc it was something that I've wanted, was always an option and was never hard to get. Recently I relocated which made me leave my "options" in a different city too far for booty calls and after time I guess I can honestly say I dnt even worry about relationships/men like I use to, just a different focus in which I've learned to prioritize a lot better and knock down love/sex down a lil….

    *readers note*: not saying I'm completely dismissing love from my life, just more at ease w/ not looking for it anymore just taking everyday as it comes & becoming more content in security within myself 🙂

  2. Wooh! My astrological opposite Leo….I've always wanted to try out one of you all lol

    What I've come to realize at the ripe old age of 22 (a while back actually) maturity and common sense is NOT synonymous with age. So I applaud you for growing older and wiser.

    Side Note: I've never really understood why men say they don't understand us…surely it can't be that hard??

    Happy Birthday SBM!!!

  3. The only advice i can give is: no matter how long you know a person no matter how good a friends you think they are, if you walk away from every conversation feeling like you went through 10 rounds with mike tyson. Leave this person alone feed them with a long handled spoon life is to short

  4. Happy Birthday SBM! Shouldn't you change your name to BBM (Bunned-up Black Male)?

    Glad to hear that you're happy in a relationship. May she be the yin to your yang. That's a big sign of maturity for a man – that you are aware that you need/want someone special in your life. There are a lot of men in their late 30's and 40's still acting like long term relationship/marriage is the end of their existence. The right woman will complement your life, not hinder it. And you're totally correct when you say that a good relationship is easy. Took me a few years to figure that one out.

  5. Happy bday SBM!

    I'd say that of course a good relationship is the ideal, but let's be careful not to assume that

    finding a long term relationship/marriage is the standard of male maturity. Some dudes (like myself) aren't meant for/want such commitment in their lives and that doesn't make them immature, it just means they have a different life plan that works for them.

    Being financially secure, having a high level education, taking care of others,

    making good life decisions, having the discipline to sacrifice for the long term–those are much better measures of maturity than whether or not you have a GF/wife.

  6. Happy B-Day, SBM! LEO!! Hear us roar.

    Yours is a day before mine! Today would've been my maternal grandmother's day as well. I was actually due this day but decided to come out when I was damn well ready…didn't wait that long, obviously.

    I can most definitely tell you've grown, SBM. And I'm glad you've finally start to appreciate the fine specimen that is a booty. I guess it's because I love mine (and have more back there than up there). lol

    Anyhow, have a great day and thought it's hard not to (especially for those like me who is soon entering their quarter-life) try not too think TOO TOO much about getting older and live in the moment. It'll make you feel younger. Enjoy!

  7. In my 28 years, I have learned that I have to be unapologetically me. Its sounds simple enough, but there seems to be a very narrow strata of activities black folks do. If you stray, you get looks, etc.

    I've also learned what I want/desire seems to change from time to time and I have no rational explanation why.

    I also learned I can be stubborn (especially when restrictions are externally placed on me).

    I also learned if women made man-sense we would have lost interest a long time ago.

    1. Happy Birthday SBM!!!

      I agree with you Stank-0, especially with being "unapologetically me". I've definitely learned some of the same things in my 27 years.

    2. oooh I learned that too…but early in high school. Popularity was like dead weight on my shoulders and it was sooo not worth it.

      I am not defined by the color of my skin.

  8. Happy Birthday!

    I've learned:

    1. Don't sign up for credit cards when you have no job (i have my freshman college years, first time away from parents to thank for that).

    2. Speak up: Even when it hurts you to.

    3. It sure was nice being a high schooler with no worries (although back then, I couldn't wait to be an adult!)

    4. Appreciate the good men… there is no need for a thug: Sure they may be mysterious and sexy, but them ninjas are liars! lol. There is nothing like finding a collegiate brotha with a plan, who opens the doors for me, and meets the parents, and loves me just as much as I love him… it's nice to not have to "guess" about anything.

  9. Happy Birthday broseph.

    I would be remissed if I didn't tell you, as many drunk blogs as i've ever writted, I never post them. Turn off wifi on your computer when drinking and blogging. Because you'll fool around and post the wrong thing one day.

    I can't believe you just said, "I like having a girlfriend."

    And none of us understand women, we can only hope to contain them.

  10. happy birthday SBM!

    I believe I'm a member of that 40%….but I think its great to show growth, and we all can learn from each other–no matter how much younger or older we are!

    I am glad you appreciate the greatness of having a better half, and the greatness of the booty 😉

  11. Happy Bornday Heir SBM,

    My lessons are simple

    1) Cherish the time you have on this Earth and the people you love while here, because tomorrow is never promised.

    2) You will NEVER understand women, strive to understand them enough and have the training necessary to understand them better

    3) Rid youself of debt, don't charge off anything, and paying off debt before actually saving will help in the long run. (You should try to save, but having $$ in a nest egg and debt is counterproductive.)

    4) Strive to better yourself and increase your value as a human. This to me is lifes greatest treasure: learning new things and betterment of self and others

    5) Travel and learn about the World community. It will open your mind to new possibilities and have you thinking on a macro scale

    6) Dont mix liquors unless u r a G

    7) It takes a man to stand and cheer while the other fellow stars!

  12. Boy here we go another young old dude, but congrays like Ye said seeing 30 in a certain manner is no joke peep game. I have lost 40 lbs since turnin 30, so much fa the outta ya 20's where's my gym? My crib!

    Yea you may have your degree but you should read! Early and often and on things that was NOT ya major, I read the fashion and biz from the NY Times, I read the wash post to get a feel how the ppl who live in the nations capitol cover it and also for the news in local events, also travelin is cool but really how much of it can you do as you age and change? But you can always read about that country and its ppl(cultures) that way if you do go ur not sum smug American prick

    As for the relationship well I was one of those working college students and women of all races esp of college saw my jugglin as a sign on instability but I got my degree I am at peace that I may never have a normal realtionship so its good you have one cuz shit get ruff being 33 and just about everyone is married-engaged or deeply committed…which leads me to

    Die chasin your dream don't give up til death, however only you determine what will be sacrificed in order to achieve your dream, and put Fam & real friends on to the dream let them decide if they wanna help, enjoy

  13. Im young and forget my age because i spend so much time with people older than me. But thru all of my little 22 years the best lesson Ive learned are these:

    * Always be accountable for yourself. No matter what you say/do own up to it and move forward.

    *You can get back any material thing you give to a person but you can never get back you time.

    * Everything is temporary until you find the means to change it.

    *Sometimes its best to be where you are rather than worry about where you're going.

    (unless it to jail but I hope you see my point)

    Happy (belated) "mystery age* Birthday my dude I wish you many more


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