Dear Dr. J,
Why is it easier to meet married men rather than single men?
I’m glad you asked this question. It’s actually not a hard one to answer at all. Many men’s magazines have tackled this one, so I won’t profess to be dropping knowledge, but let me just reiterate some points. It’s not easier to meet married men; you’re more attractive to men who happened to be married. Married men have some very attractive traits;
1) They are stable, women crave something stable and safe. Not someone they are worried might leave them one day. Men in relationships come across as safer.
2) You think they know how to treat a woman. They always say it’s easier to get a job when you have a job.
3) You want what you can’t have, and so some women are just that sketchy. Nothing turns anyone on more than power and greed. Women have this problem too, so they go after married men.
4) He is a sheep in wolf’s clothing. You sit there and you tell this guy all of your problems and you suspect that since he is married he won’t make a pass at you. You get completely vulnerable and then he pounces on you like the wounded gazelle you are.
Dear Dr. J,
Why are “good” Black guys going for white girls?
Ms. Black Eyed Pea
Dear Black Eyed Pea:
Your designation as “good” implies as those are guys that you are attracted to, whether it be looks or personality, I can’t be sure. Be careful. Perhaps, the type of guy that you are into, is just into white girls. We are all guilty of this. Admittedly, I’m 5’9”, I like girls who are 5’7” and taller, this wasn’t really working out for me. Why? Because all those women tended to like taller guys… after they put on heels. If you are not finding luck attracting “good” guys then change your definition of what a good guy is. There is nothing wrong with you deciding that you want to date a Black man who does not date interracially. (Dique)
What is the difference between a preference and a prerequisite?
DM @AngieStoneFan – You know I got mad love for you and I appreciate the support. You would ask me this question and I’m well versed on how to answer the question at this stage in the game. Here is my opinion; a prerequisite is a signal of a deal killer. If this person does not have A, then I will not date them, or I will not do this for them, etc. A preference, is simply something that you would prefer. Like, a perfect example would be the difference between a person who has a type and a complex. A woman may say, I like my guys to be brown skin. However, her current boyfriend is white. That’s a preference, meaning, if it happens it happens, if it doesn’t it doesn’t. If that same woman meets a light skin dude and is like, oh no I won’t date him because he’s light skin. That chica has a complex. That’s a prerequisite. And may God rest her soul because she will die a lonely death. Keep your head up Ma.
Always 1-hunnit, @DrJayJack