Home Dating & Relationships Dating Reason #87432 You Can’t Get A Man: Your Funky A$$ Attitude

Reason #87432 You Can’t Get A Man: Your Funky A$$ Attitude


If there are 6 million ways to die, there are probably just as many reasons that you can’t get a man.  I’d like to note that I’m making a distinction between not having a man and just simply not being able to get or retain one.  Contrary to what all the women in your family tell you, there’s nothing wrong with not having a man, especially since the reason you don’t have one is because you’re not looking right now, you’re probably focused on your career, or you live in DC or Atlanta and all the good men are taken or f*ckin’ your friend.  Hey, it happens.  But there are those women out there that are looking for a man with a greater sense of urgency than the CIA looking for Osama Bin Laden and having the same amount of success.  As is human nature, they usually blame someone else for their failures, and rarely take a look in the mirror.  Lucky for them, the Rampin Shop proprietor is here to put them on.

Now from where I sit there are two different types of funky attitudes that stand out:

Ms. Sense of Entitlement

This is usually the chick that walks around like the world revolves them, or that her sh*t don’t stink, or the that the sun rises and sets on her candy ass, and in extreme cases, all of the above.  Usually the same chick that’s trying to get her hands in ya pockets (and not the good way, which would be to rub your piece discretely while her hand’s in ya pocket).   She just believes that she should be afforded every little whim her heart desires, no matter the inconvenience they cause others.  As soon as they don’t get their way, you can expect a Level 5 temper tantrum.  Grow up, shorty.  Face it, sometimes things don’t go your way.  Just because you spent way too much time in the mirror putting on your make up and ran out the house in a rush and forgot your debit card, does not mean that we should drive 45 minutes back to your place in Gotham City traffic to go back and get it.  You weren’t going to pay anyway, what’s the big deal?   The fate of this woman is that she usually bounces from dude to dude until thinking she’ll find one sucker out there, but usually she’s so sick with it, dudes smell that stank attitude coming from miles away.

See Also:  When Dating Is Like Picking Your Poison

The Straight Up B*tch

Since its inception, woman have hated to hear men use the word b*tch.  Oddly enough, in the same amount of time, women have not hesitated to call a b*tch a b*tch.  So you know if they smell it, we smell it too.  I’m not a descendant of Merriam nor Webster, so I’m not here to give a definition of what a straight up b*tch is.  No definition necessary.  Your spidey sense goes off when you interact with one of these chicks, and you usually walk away from the situation thinking, “Damn, she a straight up B*TCH!”  If this chicks has good friends, they usually tell her that she needs to check herself, but she doesn’t listen because she’s used to finding dudes that put up with her crap as long as she’s putting out.  But as soon as the kimshee gets too funky, dude is in the wind and shorty is back on the block looking for another sucker.

According to the cliche, you can attract just as many flies with honey as you can with sh*t.  Of course, there are some people that figure if sh*t does the job, you might as well use it.  But the only problem with this theory is that while you can attract a fly with sh*t, when they fly buzzes off and hangs out with his peers at the Fly Saloon, his boys will say “Damn homie, you smell like SH*T!”  And more than likely after enough heckling from the braintrust, your little fly won’t be buzzing be back anytime soon to savor that unpopular flavor.  Hopefully at some point these young ladies will realize that despite their ability to bully and manipulate the loved ones you grew up with into seeing things your way, out here in the real world where people don’t give a f*ck about you, that’s going to get old after a while.  My name isn’t Dr. J, but I have a quick fix for you, shorty.  Every time you feel these symptoms of b*tchiness coming on, take a hot shot of shut-the-f*ck-up-and-think-before-you-speak, wash it down with some warm water and milk, and call me in the morning.  And if for some odd reason I don’t answer, don’t leave me a funky voicemail inquiring as to why I didn’t answer the call.  Remember, unless your name is Right Coast Lex Steele, the world does not revolve around you.

See Also:  Does Empty Sex Lead Men To Commit?

Hopefully I’ve been able to help some folks out.  The road to recovery begins with acceptance.  It’s not too late to change your stripes and get on the straight and narrow.  I mean, you can keep doing it your way and getting the same results, or you can try it my way.  In the meantime, since it’s Friday let’s sound off on these b*tches…I don’t care if it’s your sister, your homegirl, your current girl or the b*tch at the desk next to you.

The Only Funk I Like Is Parliament,

RightCoastLexSteele, In Fighting Trim


  1. I shall confess. In my early twenties, I floated about in a pampered princess haze, believing that I was a gift descended from heaven to be worshipped by all lucky enough to lay eyes on me. I was generally wreaking havoc, taking no prisoners and offering no apologies. i had that Erykah Badu philoshopy – "The world is mine when I wake up, I don't need nobody telling me the time."

    Yeah, well – took a one, two punch of getting publicly told about myself (still wincing 10 years later) followed by a really nasty break-up for me to wake up and smell the humanity.

    And so, to all the entitled, p*-teasin', game playin' chicks who think the world revolves around them might I offer a word or two of advice… get over yourself before someone helps you do it in a way you will NOT appreciate.

    1. I don't think it is nothing wrong with a woman feeling like she is special or worth something. I think more women need to but there is a point where they can take it too far.

  2. Man, I do not see why anyone would deal with anyone like either Ms Entitlement or The B.

    If it's a man I would think he has no backbone and is blinded with the booty. I think if he stood up and burst that bubble then it would bring a moment of clarity to these women. her being by herself for one of these reasons is her own fate. She can't blame anyone but herself.

    For women to be friends with a girl like this is crazy too. But I think most women think it is funny to watch their friends trip out on other people as long as it is not them. And all they will do is a reply with a "Girl you crazy or you a trip". instead of letting her know her behavior is really ridiculous and karma is a B.

    1. I actually had a lil facebook comment discussion w/ someone about this the other day. I made the point that most dudes don't know what they're walkin into until it's too late, but the female I was jousting with said that cats get blinded by the booty and overlook the attitude until it becomes significantly problematic…

  3. i'll more readily deal with the straight up bitch than ms sense of entitlement. every woman at some point in their life acts like a bitch, so i can deal with it from time to time. ms sense of entitlement gets very little of my time. i'll leave her where she stands. i don't have time to play up to some fantasy that your daddy ingrained in you.

  4. I think any woman can have a man, and vice versa, they just can't get the man that they want (or atleast think they want) because of some of things you listed. No matter what, a man will say a woman is stuck upif she doesn't want him, well some dudes will, while the dude that she is sucking off thinks she's regular.

  5. I was gonna make a post on this very phenomenon. You took the words out of mouth. Some women is just straight negative… just negative. That same one who won't let her friend get in the whip when we roll out. She the same one double clicking her mouse at night. I just ignore them.

    Nice to see, I have someone else who can make some rounds with me on these women in need. We need to start an online Charm School.

  6. Cottdamn! You just ethered this blog.

    Amazing how a lot of women embrace the bytch lifestyle while coming off as Ms. Entitlement. Also amazing is how it is encouraged amongst many circles of young women almost as a culture. I have a few stories about how I've gone out to places like U Street and had a simple question turn into a b*tchy rebuttal which left me ready to curse a b*tch proper. I digress though…in my older age I've learned to just ignore them. They are already burning. I'll just wait for yet another article, statistic, report and survey noting yet another major increase in single yet "got it going on" harpies in our general populace.

  7. Hmmmm, then why the hell was the book 'Why Men Love Bitches' written??

    ….and from my observations, it holds true.

    1. Yea I can see that too…I've only been single for about 5 months now (and really havent been in the dating world too long so i dont have tons of experience) but I consider myself to be very approachable…I smile, laugh at stupid jokes, accept compliments (even inappropriate ones) with grace, and yet most of the dudes flake within a few days of meeting them…yet the girls I know that play games, have funky attitudes, and are CLEARLY after a dude for his money are the ones I see getting wifed up in the club…lol

  8. Hmm, again – I see this going both ways. No pause, lol.

    The ugly behavior that both genders complain about in each other wouldn't be so rampant if it wasn't rewarded. I said this yesterday on SSSO: We ladies need to stop rewarding loser men with p*ssy and a home cooked meal. Fellas, y'all need to quit rewarding good-looking chickenheads. Just because she looks like your "Queeeeeen too-ooo beeee" doesn't mean she'll act like one. And if she doesn't act like a lady don't treat her like one. You're sending a message to good women that the way to get a man is to be an azz.

    1. Reading posts like this further reinforce my belief that the american dating dynamics are as broken as the backlog of vehicles for maintenance in Operation Iraqi freedom.

      I do have to say though…I don't know too many who act an azz on the strength of getting a man. I'll bet you $20 that they complain about being single the most too.

  9. so i'm voting (for three ways to take it) for the black web awards and click a link to this blog…read the first three lines of this post and say 'holy sh*t i LOVE this blog. must.immediately.subscribe! i haven't loved a blog this much since…well, since three ways to take it. oh and why is that? because it's RightCoastLexSteele, whose 'workplace rules' post nearly made me pee in my pants!

  10. Good post. I have dated these type of women and the worst part of all this bitchness and entitlement is that these type of women are never satisfied unless you are a complete and utter asshole. The only way to have them up on you is to completey ignore them and just do what ever the fuck you want. The only problem is when you start pretending to act this way you eventually start feeling that way and yall will break up. In other words a big waste of time

  11. "Myname isn’t Dr. J, but I have a quick fix for you, shorty. Every time you feel these symptoms of b*tchiness coming on, take a hot shot of shut-the-f*ck-up-and-think-before-you-speak,'


  12. I would have to say that normally I don’t agree with men who make such observations, but in this case, these words are so much the hurtful truth for some women. I think that many women don’t understand that there’s a fine line between being a strong, assertive and independent woman and being a ‘b!tch’. Some women seem to assume that talking over people to get her point across, mocking, ridiculing and putting people down is her way of not only improving herself image but demonstrating this ‘Alpha female’ persona. Knowing dam well that once the dust has settled, and another dude has laid in and left her bed, she’s just as lonely as the women she taunts for not having ‘a man’. Women like this don’t fail to realize that there’s more to having a man than just having any man. Any man will lay you’re in your bad, have sex and even spend your money (men are guilty of this too); but ‘a man’ will respect you for who you are, treat you as his queen and do whatever he can to make you happy; because you do the same for him. But, the Miss Entitlements and Miss. B!tches ruins finding ‘a man’ for the rest of us women who are willing to put in the work to get a keep a man because of their stank @$$ outlook of love, life, relationships; and themselves.

    But, let’s not forget, the brotha’s play a role in this cycle as well. If it wasn’t for the brotha’s coming along and allowing the Miss Entitlements to use them (based on how she looks, or how fat her @$$ is, or because her ‘head game’ is tight) we wouldn’t have these women being able to continue such behavior towards anyone who’ll give them a chance. Every time I see these bortha’s have babies with, and get into relationships with these ‘dime pieces’ you can’t help but wonder if he really and truly understands what he’s getting himself into with this woman? And in most cases they don’t; not until the baby arrives or she’s drained his bank account dry and she’s moved onto another sucker does he realize that he:

    1. Should have paid more attention to the signs and not her @$$

    2. Should have left her alone when he had the chance.

    Now because of Miss. B!tches’ actions, he develops this negative attitude towards all women (black women). His negativity towards her turns into a hate and disgust for anyone woman who’s skin tone is the same as hers. Now he places himself in the ‘[email protected]@a’s’ category because he feels that in dogging out good women he’s somehow returning the favor to Miss. B!tch and Miss. Entitlement (who’s since forgot about his @$$ and moved on to another sucker). Thus, the cycle of Bu!!$hit repeats itself.

  13. umm this can be said about both genders. i know a guy who is a pushover, and no girl wants him. so he pretends he is a thug. it is so funny. then since he can’t get a girl he blames it on all women wanting thugs (even tho his thug act gets him no play) i hear lots of men using that stereotype as to why they can’t get a good blk woman but to be honest i think they just pay attention are ashamed to admit they go for hoodrats.

    …hoodrats & thugs are like peanut butter & jelly. they go best together :D. good ppl should leave those two groups to one another.


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