**As usual, make sure you vote for Single Black Male as Best S*x and Relationship Blog and Blog of the Year in the Black Weblog Awards. Also, please vote for my other blog, Three Ways to Take It, for Best Writing in a Blog and Best New Blog. We’re doin’ big things! -Slim**


When I was in 8th grade, there was this skinny white kid in my science class with glasses that were perpetually fallin’ off his face. He was the guy that knew the answer to every question the teacher asked, and was also the person that followed up with the right answer immediately after someone got the question wrong. I can still hear his annoyin’ nasally-arse voice sometimes. Science wasn’t my strong suit so you can imagine how much it irked me when I got a question wrong and he chimed in with “Actually, the correct answer is…” Bastard. I will bag your mom.

When the science fair came around, everyone knew this guy would win. My cohorts and I would walk by the science lab on the way to basketball practice and see him pluggin’ away with his “cool” wind-powered thingamajig. We didn’t dislike him because he was good in science, we disliked him because he was a pompous prick like Skip Gates. In an effort to bring him down to earth, we planned to cut one of the wires on his project the night before the science fair to ensure that his special day would be an ultimate fail. Fortunately for him, and potentially for us, we decided not to sabotage his life’s work for a multitude of reasons that I can’t really remember.

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Sabotage is a serious thing. It can range from little stuff like cutting a kid’s science fair project wire to loosening the screws on someone’s bike before they start the Tour de France. Nobody wants to be the victim of sabotage because of all the awfulness that comes along with it. It’s like being violated in a non-s*xual sort of way. What many people fail to realize is that one can sabotage aspects of his or her own life both knowingly and unknowingly. I know quite a few people who have the uncanny ability to sabotage their relationships time and time again. Little did they know that they were victims of their own doing. Let me identify 3 of these folks for you:

The Snooper

You ever meet someone and things go great for a while and really seem too good to be true? This person sees things the same way, but is never able to accept the situation for what it is and assumes the significant other must be doin’ sumthin’ on the sly. This is the person that keeps snoopin’ and lookin’ for dirt when it really isn’t there. They do this so much that they end up goin’ nuts on the good catch or frustratin’ that person into goin’ back into the sea to find another compatible fish. This.Is.Self-Sabotage.

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The Screener

This person is similar to the last, except they don’t necessarily snoop. This type finds some feature or minute characteristic and uses it as a reason to screen out potentially great  relationship partners. “I don’t like his shoes” or “She mispronounces 1 word a month” are examples of BS excuses used to rule out exactly what they need in their life, which ultimately leads to them screwing themselves over.  Self.Sabotage.

The Circuit Breaker

This is the person that may have a defense mechanism in place that forces them to shut down when it comes time to emotionally connect with someone. This person may withdraw from a compatible significant other for no apparent reason. The Circuit Breaker can become a jerk or b*tch (no misogyny) at any moment because they don’t like how good the other person makes them feel. This type is perhaps the most confusing of them all. Self.Sabotage.At.It’s.Finest.

So what does everyone else think of these types? Any additions to this list? Have you ever sabotaged a relationship or been the victim of relationship sabotage? Do share…and sh*t.

No Sabotage,

slim jackson