Home Dating & Relationships Laws of Attraction Summertime pt.5: Where dey do that at?!

Summertime pt.5: Where dey do that at?!

Where Dey Do Dat At? Roscoes Chicken + Waffles. SMFH

As the extended spring summer draws to its close, it’s time for me to vent. I’ve seen some beautiful cities and countries this summer. Unfortunately, I’ve also seen some wild, crazy, and disrespectful actions over the last few weeks. This caused me to think to myself and  say “Self: Where dey do dat at?!” That phrase has caught on to pop culture like wildfire, and now its time to save you the trouble of losing. Here are some of the top WDDDA moments of the summer:

Men with shades in the club

I confess that I ‘ve done this before. I also confess that I didn’t understand the allure then and still don’t now. I never sold drugs or a rap album, so why would I wear shades? You can’t see sh*t in the club, 75% of the time it doesn’t go with your outfit, and it always comes off as fake stuntin. If you’re living check to check and needed a hook up to get into the club, you need to keep the shades in the crib. Exceptions to the rule include: cross eyededed people, if you got knocked the eff out into a scuffle and need to cover bruises, or if you are Vampire and your eyes are sensitive to ambient light, then stay in the crib with Sookie by all mean rock em. Otherwise, stop actin like you’re Cyclops from X-Men and get it together!

Women wearing belly shirts..with Bellies included
When I go to Summer Jam in NYC, I’m guaranteed to see this atrocity. Women with guts wearing short cut shirts and tight tees, revealing a midsection shaped like a 1-up There’s too many options for physical fitness available for your to visually torture people with your sumoesque stature. I’m not saying you have to look like a super model, but have some type of common fashion sense and couth and wear what FITS! Hit the gym, work out, I mean come on, every one’s doing it! You should love yourself and your body, but all know where dey do dat at, and that’s at your house with friends who don’t love you because they let you come out the house looking like a HOT mess!

Inappropriate BBQ Attire (Via Twitter Family)
Men – If you’re hitting the club after the bbq, then bring a change of clothes or rock an outfit that only needs a minor change to be club compatible. 3 piece suits at a BBQ?! #WDDDA?!!

– STILETTOS AND GRASS don’t mix! Cheap heels at that! You truly think men will look at your feet at a BBQ and think “wow her shoe game’s proper. She’s killing those heels I need to holler”?! NEGATIVE! You walk around the backyard BBQ area tip-toeing to avoid falling on your face and complain about your hurt feet ALL DAY. Meanwhile, you don’t realize that the same dudes you try to impress just laugh to themselves, thinking “Damn sweetie, Where Dey Do Dat At?!”

Men – Open toe sandals? Sandals in general? #FAIL! I’m sorry but unless you are at a pool, the beach (We’ll accept the desert also), or you’re name is tiny 8lb 6oz baby Jesus, rockin sandals is a no-no. For all that argue, I present exhibit A and rest my case: http://twitpic.com/dg9ri (No Eric Benet). Someone PLEASE tell me WDDDA?!

See Also:  7 Things Men Want To See Women Wear This Summer

Women – when you wear open toe shoes or shoes that reveal your foot, lotion is your ally and not your adversary. I only like crust on my pizza, and I’ve seen too many heels that you can strike a match on, or press a coal against them to make diamonds. No pedicure? Make sure the toenails are painted right even if you have to do it yourself! We have to do better ladies!

Honorable Mentions
Cookouts with no food or drink (these are block parties then!). See related: people who show up to BBQs empty handed (I approve of denial of entry).

Hygiene – If you smell like a full court basketball game, please go back to the drawing board, purchase a firearm, and Plaxico yourself!

SBM community: What are the different WDDDA moments that you experienced? Did I OD on this list? Read, comment, RT, and enjoy yaself!

Streetz: The Wednesday Night Delight


  1. Fellas, I know you want to get your beach summer sexy on but please resist the Borat banana-hammock thong look. That ain't no parts of right. Oh and BTW, chap stick is your friend fellas… use it… always.

    Similarly, ladies… some of us have a bikini body and some of us do not. If you do not, you can still keep up your cute with a cover-up, some cleavage, big earrings and a strappy sandal. Not everyone is meant for four triangles and some string. Dammit, they got tankinis with built in tummy control now… work it out. I'm just sayin'

  2. I recently attended a pool party where no one actually got into the pool. It was more like a party around the pool. The group of guys that were hosting the event didn't even have swim attire on; most of them were wearing blue jeans and sneakers. all in all, it was just an excuse to see girls in their bathing suits. But at the same time i guess me and my friends should have known considering that it was set to start at 9 pm.

  3. I'm okay with sandals on a man, but I have yet to find one that will wear them.

    I'm not cool with belly shirts if you are over the age of 13, even if you have a six pack.

    LMAO @ OneChele's banana hammock thong!

    WDDDA: Overly glittered, bedazzled clothing: Somewhere in this whole Rock Star fashion trend, people have gotten a little cozy with the sparkles on clothing (ESPECIALLY men)

    1. I'm sorry … but there is absolutely no reason a man should be wearing sandals outside of the house except for the above mentioned reasons, and if they have to go out for a short period of time (get the mail, take out the trash).

      I hate mandals!

  4. I'm not understanding why it's bad for a man to wear sandals.

    Most of my nice man-sandals come from Aldo and I don't get any complaints. I think it just has to do with how a man's feet looks and where exactly he is wearing them.

  5. thought i was the only one who hated men in sandals. also not a fan of shorts on men but some dudes get a pass like if ur playing basketball or in a gym or something. my brother insists on wearing flipflops and shorts but i think im used to it now…

  6. As a man, I have to disagree with the rule about sandals. Let it be known, I do not wear sandals. However, one day I will. If you have two or more kids or are over 35, you can wear sandals for one of two reasons: You somebody daddy and you a grown ass man. I think those two things allow you to do almost anything you wanna do.

    Also, your sandals must be some fly joints. The bol in the picture is struggling and needs to take that sh!t up the block.

    On another note, I hate seeing people eff'd up underwear. If you're a dude, and you're gonna sag get some designer drawers. If you're a woman, wear a belt or visit Victoria

    1. I cosign on your post Peyso against my will… lol

      Yes at 35 with kids you can do what you like… but they gotta be official, I suppose..lmao

      Or if you're Russell Simmons u can def rock sandals hahaha

  7. LMAO! This is my good hearty laugh for the day. I needed it. I think i've seen almost everything you wrote about this summer alone. I can tell you that I went to a bbq picnic at the park last weekend and the girls I was with AND the guys hanging near us all clowned two chicks that strolled…err…hobbled into the park with stiletto heels on. They looked like an uncomfortable mess ALL day with their heels sinking into the grass coming up dirty. Horrible!

    I would also like to add to the women rocking belly-exposing shirts…IF you've had one baby…or two…or three and the skin on your stomach is sagging and looking like the epidermis of an elephant…PLEASE NO BELLY SHIRTS…EVER AGAIN. Thanks.

    And lastly…my WHERE DEY DO DAT AT?!…a dude rockin' SOCKS IN the POOL at a pool party! WTF?! Now…i'm from Los Angeles and I had never seen such a thing so I had to ask him WDDDA?? Apparently…Alabama. LMAO!

  8. I can't co-sign the sandal thing. No reason to have to be wearing shoes and socks all throughout the summer when its like 95 degrees just because. I got a couple of pairs I wear on the regular because they're comfortable. I'll also wear shorts as well. Some of yall take this too far.lol.

  9. LMAO @ Peyso…I feel ya on the grown ass man stuff. At some point…do you!

    I'm on the fence about the sandal thing. I've seen several men I know do it, and it works and I like it. And then i've seen men do it and its just…NOT WORKING. I can't figure out why…it's just not. Maybe because they themselves are unattractive…yeah…that's probably it. LOL

  10. Anyone that knows me knows I HATE (LOATHE!) men who wear shades in the club. As if that makes them look cooler. No, it makes you look lamer. You're still a douche, I just can't see your douchy eyes.

    And *gag* @ women who wear belly shirts with muffin tops. I know it's called a belly shirt, but it's not called a potbelly shirt. Everybody can't wear everything. Sorry. You don't see me walking around wearing ballies in my hair, right? Because I'm not 8 anymore. Let some stuff GO.

    Other WDDDAs:

    – Matchy-matchy women. I'm talmbout those type of ladies (*coughmyauntiecough*) that has to rock the same exact color for every item of clothing. Orange pants? Top it off with an orange short, orange shoes, orange nail polish, orange ponytail holder, and throw on that orange purse. I really SMH at offenders who shop at Newport News and get those pattern outfits and buy the exact same pattern purse and shoes to match. WHY, Newport News, WHY?!

    – Folks that don't dance at clubs. Um, if I wanted to stand around and stare at folks, I'd get on public transportation. Why you gotta have music and flashing lights just to stand around? Get a glass of liquid courage and shake that bum.

    – Dudes who wear Timbs (boots) in the summertime. Yo feet stank. Period.

  11. First of all, that picture..who?wha? really? How do you get one knee high zippered boot off during a fight? Where are her bottoms? They're in public – how did her clothes come off like that, but not a sock? This leaves all kinds of questions unanswered – I need back up.

    Second, I was at the Spirit Soul Fest (or whatever it's called, it was Erika Badu, Raphaal Sadiq, Chrisette Michelle and Chuck) this past weekend. Needless to say, there was an abundance of pseudo-fly women trying to traipse on the grass in heels. Some tried to be "practical" in wedge heels. Did I mention that the lawn is on a slant? EPIC FAIL.

    Oversized shades as the sun goes down: $20

    New all-white outfit: $155

    New Weave: $65

    Sliding down a grassy hill because you've lost your footing, only to stop your slide by planting your heel into the grass and flying into a crowd of drunk Chuck fans: priceless

    1. "First of all, that picture..who?wha? really? How do you get one knee high zippered boot off during a fight?"

      LMFAO. That's what I wanna know. Like what was she zipping down her boot while the other chick was taking off her earrings? And she only had time to do one?

      1. I loved it – only in DC metro can an 800 yr old get the whole crowd crunker than Ms. Badu. And somebody should have told Raphael that he was NOT in Baltimore!

        Wind me up, Chuck!

        1. See. My date and I thought that Chuck shouldn't have been there. Took away the time that is the greatness of Badu.

          Yeah, it was funny that people didn't get into Raphael until he started singing the old stuff.

          I hated that the lawn was so crowded that you couldn't get back and forth to your spot. I had seats in the pavilion but also had a spot on the lawn for the lack luster performances. I had to shake my head at those who set up camp on the concrete to the walkways.

  12. I'm obviously in the minority about men wearing sandals because I don't mind at all…maybe because I'm completely adverse to athletic footwear and that's the only summertime alternative

    And don't get me started on bbqs with no food OR it starts at 2 and the food isnt ready until 9 or gone by 2:03…go to costco or tell me I need to eat before I get there dont be triflin…that is THE WORST

  13. Okay first LMAO at "i only like crust on my pizza", I legit laughed aloud on my plane. Secondly, I agree with man sandals. No offense but men just shouldn't wear sandals unless it's the beach, mandala just aren't it, for me at least. Shades in the club kill me..like it's a double negative, it's not daytime AND you're inside, I've let alot of ppl know how I feel about that this summer 🙂

    And as for women dressing inappropriately and size appropriate they need new friends to tell them they look a mess, because the ones they have aren't doing theIr job. But that's not just summer, because crop tops go along with too tight clothing. If you know you wear a certain size, wear THAT size, your rolls aren't impressing anybody, in fact they're making me & everyone else quite naseous. There was alot of that at essence.

  14. As a person who throws a few cookouts and house parties a year, there is nothing more deserving of the stanky eye but a person who shows up empty handed. It just aggrevates me to no end…. Like is it too much to pick a 6-pack, or a cheap bottle of wine, or at least some chips on the way over. Cheap people don't ever get the invite again.

    Can't stand they ass.

    However, I also don't believe that you throw the party, unless you can throw the party. So don't have a party and then be tacky and ask for people to bring a bottle. First of all, you should invite people who have no home training and show up empty handed. Second of all, you should not have thrown a party if you couldn't afford to feed and wet the people there.

  15. Killin dudes fa timbs in the summer is dumb cuz the shoes corp men wear to work are made of non ventilating leather so go go kill them in addition I rotate em wit the kicks and I never wear em say more than 2 days straight, now the sandals they are lame and the reason not wearin shoes or sneaks year round is lame we all work, live and drive in climate ctrl settings, when I am got I pour water over my head screw the feet, last as a filmmaker there is no one iconic pic of a man in sandles, flip flop, house shoes etc, I'll ask yall why?

  16. For the record I love men in sandals and shorts. It's hot let your feet breathe! Why are you wearing jeans in 90 degree weather. Maybe its b/c I went to PWI for high school and college but men in khaki shorts, sandals, and polo's are sexy!


Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Get SBM Delivered

Get SBM Delivered

Single Black Male provides dating and relationship
advice for today's single looking for love

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This