Home Women The Get Over It Series: You’re a Ho, and He’s not

The Get Over It Series: You’re a Ho, and He’s not

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This is the fifth installment in six.  I would be remissed if I didn’t give you one more real talk session before the conclusion of the series next week.  (I actually wrote 8, and then decided not to post this one, but you know what, let her rip!)  So this conversation is always had, why is a woman a ho and a man not, when they do the same thing.  And for a long time, men have been more than willing to admit they are hoes too.  However, today… ain’t yo day, i’m going to be straight up and be honest.  Here’s the real deal….

1) It’s simple supply and demand: There are more women than there are men, therefore it is easier to find a woman than a man. As the supply decreases the demand increases
There are so many more women than there are men. I’ll be honest with you, it’s downright unfair. Because supply and demand rules never change, men have a sense of entitlement. They affirm themselves in knowing that the bar for them is set lower than it is for women. It’s easier to find a woman than it is a man. As you engage in ho-activity, he doesn’t have to pick you. He can move onto the next woman who may or may not be a ho. In the world where the demand is lower for the female than the man, to be taken seriously that is, (The demand for women as c#m depositories is always pretty much peak but it just doesn’t return much value), there’s going to be some things skewed one way over the other. As a man, we engage in our ho-activity, but hey you have to make some concessions, there just aren’t enough men out there for you to be that picky. Take your pick, i’ve slept with over 70 girls or i’ve got three kids? Pick your poison, Ivy.

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2) Women can pretty much have sex whenever they want, a Man has to actually try to have sex
The way men see it is simple, we have to try to have sex and women can always find someone to have sex with. We aren’t talking about whether she really wants to have sex or not, we’re talking about if she does she doesn’t have to try hard to have sex. For that reason, most men feel like because they have to try, they are conquering and thus the chick is giving up the goods which she holds. So when they debate on whether or not a chick is a ho, ask yourself, who is giving in the relationship and who is taking? In the minds of men, you’re giving up the poon and we’re taking it. And this is really what this whole series is about, it’s about what people think. It’s okay for you to think that you are in control of your sexual situations with the dudes you have on your rotation, it’s okay… for you… to think that. But guess what boo? No one cares what you think.



3) It’s just the way it is. The silver lining is, stop thinking you can just do whatever you want because you want to. That’s just not the way the world works
At the end of the day the world is the way the world is. You’re not going to change it overnight. You’re not going to fight some fight of liberation of sexual politics and win. You’re going to keep losing. I come from the school of thought that you don’t have to have the same thing happen to you too many times before you realize that the outcome will remain the same. The issue is not that guys do the same thing and they aren’t looked down upon. THE ISSUE is you’re doing what YOU’RE doing and people are looking down upon YOU. Worry about yourself. Trying to validate your actions because of someone else, or because you don’t care what anyone else says is BULLSH*T. Never in the history of mankind has anyone who actually didn’t care what people thought about them said, “I don’t care what anyone thinks about me.” If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t have to say it. You wouldn’t even be in a position where someone was going to be able to comment on it.

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It’s unfortunate that we live in the world that we live in. Actually, it’s not, it couldn’t be any better. There’s oxygen here, water, food, I mean, there’s no other place to our knowledge in this universe that has all of that. So it is what it is. We have to play by the rules. You play the hand you’re dealt. (No you cannot change your hand, Kanye.) How much longer are we going to debate this? It’s obvious, because it is what it is. You’re a ho because you’re sleeping with mad dudes. You’re a ho because you’re letting dudes run game on you and then peace out on you. Get over it.

This is brought to you by the Get Over It Series, don’t try to flip this back on men, it’s about women, not men. “It’s a thousand you’s it’s only one of me.” – Kanye West

– Dr. J from the School of Telling Like It Is and NOT How It Ain’t

Comment(51)

  1. Wow … Dr. J goes hard.

    And while someone is gonna be mad reading this … its the truth. #3 is the best one up there. Maybe he can do it … but for whatever reason … whether it be God's divine wish, societal norms, or centuries of conditioned thinking … women can't be promiscuous without penalty.

  2. I don't think it's misogyny – I think it fails to factor in relativity. Let me know when Obama releases the Presidential Decree of How Many Dudes You Must Sleep With to be a Ho, and you can call me a ho all you want. Otherwise, it's all relative. A ho, to most of us, is the woman who'se slept with more people than we have. The freak is the person who'se done the one thing we haven't gotten around to. Unless you're looking for a virgin – and really, many of you would push her to the curb before you would a ho – who decides how many is too many? And unless you were there when she was pulling a train with your college football team, how do you know? Did she tell you her *magic number*? Did you believe her? You know you didn't. SMH

    I somewhat understand why men seem so taken with this idea that your woman not be a ho. Your egos are fragile, we get it. But really, unless she's done something so ho-rific that it becomes legend and prevents her from travelling west of the Mississippi, stop the inquisitions and name calling. Unless your girl is into that kind of thing. All it tells a woman is that you're immature, want to be lied to and given mediocre everything in the sack lest you give her the "Where'd you learn that trick?" look later on.

    Maybe it's because I'm old, but I haven't had a man ask me how many partners I've had since I was in my (very) early 20's. Grown people ask about test results, compatability, etc. – you know, those things that are actually pertinent to adult relationships.

    1. LMAO @ ho-rific….

      but YEA ANNA! LOL

      and @ Dr J's "If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t have to say it. You wouldn’t even be in a position where someone was going to be able to comment on it."

      Yea, I kinda agree that if someone doesnt care what anyone thinks, they wouldnt have to say it, but um as far as them not even being in that position?? Are you basically saying that women should just remain virgins?? Sit in the house with their vibrators every night?? thats a little ridiculous, dont you think? In this world with dudes giving mediocre/horrible d*ck (which is an offense that will get you dropped immediately in my book) because they're too lazy to learn or put forth the effort, or just eventually phasing themselves out because they want a new flavor of the month, I think its kinda crazy to expect a woman to be sexually frustrated because she's scared Dr J will call her a ho. I'm not saying that she should go sleep with any ol' dude whenever the hell she gets horny (which im sure most women dont, but i can name at LEAST 5 dudes I know that do), but to just call her a ho because she's not at home twiddling her thumbs waiting on a husband to take her virginity while he's out sleeping with the Bimbo Twins is crazy and an unrealistic expectation to have…

    2. i agree anna, the majority of the time that i read these blogs is to see what "the young folks" are up to! interestingly enough it's not much! just the same ole same ole….(let me go check the balance in my 401K!)

  3. very true words brother, VERY TRUE. Not only are there more black women than black men, but if you subtract the ones in jail and the gay ones, it's a smaller picking. Not to mention attributes like being attractive to most women, having a job, a car, some sort of education….. by the time you get done it's like 100,000 of us for 10 million women. We almost have to cheat, lol…or not settle down.

        1. Bullet proof vest? LOL – no need, I don't anticipate that he'll be attacked. Someone would need to take him seriously for that to happen.

    1. yall aint sh*t…lol

      but when you do get ready to settle down, and the women you meet are on that BS, dont complain…men like you contributed to the jaded attitudes of these women

  4. hi all. i am a woman and i agree. however unfortunate the truth may be, it is still the truth. kudos on using economic theory to defend your point Dr. J. you should loan that idea to stephen dubner and steven levitt for the next book in their freakonomics series. it could give new meaning to FREAK-onomics 🙂

    p.s. is this only a concern among us af-ams or do other races care about the future wife's sexual history?

    1. @ moks – I think other folk care too. I know wht dudes who dont wanna talk to the campus jump either. No one man or woman want to have something everyone else had.

    2. I think caucasians are more liberal about the issue of sexual promiscuity. The amount of sotires ive heard from them abotu hookups, wifin up ppl who smashed the homies, etc etc would put your head in a tailspin. A woman would literally have to be the town jumpoff for them not to consider wifin.

  5. I actually agreed with Dr. J's post…although it is messed up that society gives men a pass before women…it is what it is and i dont see that changing anytime soon.

    As far as comment #2…"Women can pretty much have sex whenever they want, a Man has to actually try to have sex" I had honestly never considered that. Explains a lot IMO.

    But i also agree with Anna N.'s statement about how a lot of guys would push a virgin to the side before they would a "ho." Damned if u do damned if u don't!

  6. Number 3 is the gospel. A lot of women are going to pull out the cat claws on that one, but it still remains the truth.

    Women are the fairer sex, and there are expectations that are placed on women that aren’t placed on men. It’s part of the territory ladies; just as men are supposed to treat women with a certain level of chivalry and respect, being promiscuous comes with a stigma attached. Michael Eric Dyson wrote that placing a woman on a pedestal of respect means to control her by more subtle means, meaning women have limited sexual freedom. Of course, women can choose to step down off that pedestal and have the same sexual freedom that men have, but realize that you lose the respect and chivalry as well.

    Take your choice ladies. Be treated like a lady or be treated like a man. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.

    1. I was trying to explain this same pedestal theory of chivalry to many women. I have absolutely no problem with independent women who want their own and take care of themselves, and I have no problem with women who want to let a man "be a man" and lead.

      But you can't have your cake and eat it too. You can't be independent and acting like a man, yet expect us to treat you like a lady.

      That's like a guy being able to stay at home and not work, but not cook or clean and still runs sh*t.

  7. *slow clap*

    I feel like I read these you ladies are hoes pieces every 11 days so…here's another. you did that. I do agree with point #2 though. Men do have to try to get the cookies, women should try harder to keep it from em I guess. you know, so they aren't called hoes. and #3 is false…you CAN do whatever you want, that's why its called choice and free will, you just have to suffer the consequences of social stigma if you do. I guess thats what Hugh Jazz means by be treated like a lady or a man? I'll go with lady, thanks. LOL. Maybe I'm too old for this talk…but I don't even think I'm that old. I just don't travel in circles where this…is so pertinent. *shrugs*

  8. Reecie: " you CAN do whatever you want, that’s why its called choice and free will, you just have to suffer the consequences of social stigma if you do. I guess thats what Hugh Jazz means by be treated like a lady or a man?"

    Pretty much. I mean that a woman can act like a man and be promiscuous, but will be labeled a hoe; or she can be more lady-like, and receive the respect that men give to the good girls. It's one or the other, not both. Or as Mr. Shakur succintly put it:

    See it's your thang and you can shake it how you wanna

    Give it up free or make your money on the corner

    But don't be bad and play the game, get mad and change

    Then you wonda why these muthaf__kas call you names

    1. but all men aren't promiscuous. so does that mean they are acting like ladies?

      so what about the girls that aren't hoes, but aren't chaste? you see what I mean when you have a "one or the other" distinction? I find it humorous that men dictate whats considered ladylike, but its been going on for centuries and another discussion altogether.

      1. Reecie: ”but all men aren’t promiscuous. so does that mean they are acting like ladies?”

        No. The point is, as Dr. J wrote, men can get away with things that women cannot.

        ”so what about the girls that aren’t hoes, but aren’t chaste? you see what I mean when you have a “one or the other” distinction?”

        Yes, that’s most women in society today, not hoes, but not chaste. They have one foot on and one foot off the pedestal. But realize that is also why men display chivalry a lot less than in the past decades. A lot of women are half-hoes, and men treat a lot of women with half the respect we used to.

        ”I find it humorous that men dictate whats considered ladylike, but its been going on for centuries and another discussion altogether.”

        Men don’t dictate what is lady-like, but we certainly can decide not to pursue a woman if she’s too promiscuous. You’re absolutely right about it going on for centuries. It’s the way of the world and it will not change. Men look down on promiscuous women. Short men get teased. Being fat is unattractive. Although there is "Ladies Night" at nightspots across the country, there will probably never be a "Mens Night." Getting mad about it isn’t going to change the ways of the world.

        1. "Yes, that’s most women in society today, not hoes, but not chaste. They have one foot on and one foot off the pedestal. But realize that is also why men display chivalry a lot less than in the past decades. A lot of women are half-hoes, and men treat a lot of women with half the respect we used to."

          VERY, good point.

        2. Ok, now you've coined a new term – half-ho. Besides that term being extremely funny (I'll cop to half-ho), it brings up a good point: since men are not the sole breadwinners in most homes does that make them half-bytch? Gender roles go both ways.

        3. Anna N. ”Ok, now you’ve coined a new term – half-ho. Besides that term being extremely funny (I’ll cop to half-ho), it brings up a good point: since men are not the sole breadwinners in most homes does that make them half-bytch? Gender roles go both ways.”

          Depends. For the men in their second childhood (workcite: Nasir Jones), who just aren’t working and have no reservations sitting on the couch while the woman is trying to get the kids ready for school and getting herself ready for work, then that actually makes them 100%, full-fledge, USDA Grade A bytch.

          For most men that are working, it is not the case, and we can thank Margaret Sanger, Betty Friedan, and the rest of those silly feminist bytches for destroying household dynamics. Fortuitously enough, Dr. J brought up the law of supply and demand. Increase the supply while demand stays the same, and the price comes down. Feminists told women to start working, because, you know, they needed to escape the harsh manacles of being wives and mothers. More women started working (increased supply) while employers were not looking for extra labor (demand constant), and real wages are reduced (price decreases). Accounting for inflation, we make much, much less that our fathers and grandfathers did. That’s why in the 1960s and 1970s, a man could be a plumber or a butcher and make enough to support a family, while today it doesn’t come close. Thanks to feminism, married women that don’t really want to work have to unless she married someone who is financially elite.

          So to answer your question, no, most men aren’t half-bytch, at least as far as being the breadwinner is concerned.

        4. @Hugh Jazz

          Do you know how much in shambles today's woman's life would be in if she had been taught how to be a housewife instead of being taught the importance of being your own breadwinner?? I mean I've seen all throughout this blog (and blog comments) that men are just not willing to settle down as quickly because there is such a high demand for them and not enough for women. So what if the women is one of those who just never gets married? Then people will be lookin at her like she's a loser (which she definitely is because she doesnt know how to do shit but be a housewife in 2009).

        5. Ashley: "Do you know how much in shambles today’s woman’s life would be in if she had been taught how to be a housewife instead of being taught the importance of being your own breadwinner?"

          I never said it was fair, I'm saying the huge influx of women into the workforce drastically reduced wages for everyone. Although I'm curious how exactly women did it before the feminist movement.

          "I mean I’ve seen all throughout this blog (and blog comments) that men are just not willing to settle down as quickly because there is such a high demand for them and not enough for women."

          And that's because, again, women got off the pedestal. If women are freely giving up the booty, will have your children, will live with you, will love you, will share finances with you, etc. without getting married, why exactly would a man settle down, excluding for religious reasons? Women are the biggest victims of their own liberation movement.

          Not that I'm really complaining, I'm rather enjoying sampling booty before settling down.

  9. I guess the "you's a ho" posts, besides being a little overdone, are silly to me because they aren't quanitfiable. A ho is like porn – you know it when you see it, right? But really, how do you know that you're with a ho? Will you limit your dating pool to only women whose sexual history you know, like went to h.s. together, good buddies with someone who went to college with her, etc.? Some women are so blatant that they self-select – the ones who ran a train with the college team and posted it to youtube kind – but really, the average woman can rack up some numbers and you'd never know if she doesn't tell you. Is she a ho, or is she an adult who is sexually active? And what it she's older than you? I have a friend from h.s. who is engaged to a man about 5 years younger. They were drunk one night and he told her she was the 4th person he'd slept with. She was like, "Oh yeah? You're my 40th!" I don't even have a lesson from that, it was just funny as sh*t.

  10. i'm kinda over topics like this (not this post per se but in society). shit if you a hoe keep fucking if thats what you wanna do (just strap up). if you don't wanna date a hoe, then don't (i know i wouldn't). if you a hoe and you wanna be a lady in the streets then you better start picking and choosing who you fucking.

  11. I'll completely agree with this…although it's not what I like to hear. It comes to a point (or at least it should) where you have to define what kind of woman you would like to be (to be a ho, or not to be)…and regardless if you like it or not, we can't fuck 60+ men, and it be OKAY! You a ho, ho!

    I'll even admit, when the cherry was first popped and sometimes afterwards, I was doing more than necessary; however, I purposely changed my behavior before it became a lifestyle. It is NOT okay to do whateva you want with whomever IF you want to be FULLY adored, respected and loved by the man you desire. I love sex more than most men, but I love being treated as a women of integrity and respect even more.

    As a women in th 21st century, if you are not in a relationship, you really can only have sex 5-10%(varies depending on sex drive) of the time you WANT IT (and that ish sucks) in order to steer clear of being deemed a hoe. It's not fair that the numbers are not in our favor as black women, but that's the cards we were dealt. I say be receptive to more than just the brothas, only open your legs to a very select few, respect yourself and yo cooch, and find what makes you happy outside of men, sex and relationships.

    All I'm saying is, be best the best with whateva you do :-), whether its work or relationships ….but be smart about it too.

    1. Remember, the difference is that woman can be the better player than men. We do it with discretion. Why would you hold back from enjoying something you love because of a man's approval to your sexuality? A man would think that a vagina is for him to possess. His biggest insecurity is knowing that women do not have to try to get sex, that's the kind of power that we have and it kills them inside because they feel powerless in this sense. Their biggest fear is a woman that carries her power well and their only defense is to call her out of her name.

  12. Hugh – this:

    "Thanks to feminism, married women that don’t really want to work have to unless she married someone who is financially elite."

    brings up a much more interesting point than who's a ho and who isn't. Are you totally unsupportive of the women's movement? I ask because, as I've gotten older, I'm increasingly inclined to give it a side eye. But I also think it's done a lot of good things for women. On the one hand, women have much more to offer a society than child rearing and cleaning services. Not to mention items like choice, sexual freedom, the right to sustain our lives, etc. But…..it's a lot more work, and in a lot of areas we're straddling the old and the new, awkwardly. This could be it's own post – how has the women's movement effected our relationships today? Is this the crux of all our arguments?

  13. Anna N: "Are you totally unsupportive of the women’s movement?"

    Maybe 90% unsupportive. I'm all for equal rights for women that want to work and all that, but other than some glass-ceiling shattering in the workplace, it's been all negative for society. But this is too loaded of a question to provide an answer and not completely hijack the comments.

    Back on topic, the term half-hoe wasn't meant to be negative, just that women are more sexually liberal than in the past (although I don't think you took it that way).

  14. Anyone who knows me knows the title alone got me fuming. A ho is a ho. It's not a gender application process required to be one. You think the Chlamydia monster be like, "Um, Imma just skip ol' dude because he's a dude. Dude's can't be hos" and moves right along? GTFOHWTBS.

    Anyhow, off to read the actual post…just had to share my knee-jerk reaction because I'm being all spontaneous today…

    1. Ok, I'm back…

      "1) It’s simple supply and demand: There are more women than there are men, therefore it is easier to find a woman than a man. As the supply decreases the demand increases"

      Don't this kinda support that a man can be a ho, too? If it's more of us, then that's more chances for you to up your numbers.

      Ok, ok, I know your Kanye quote say don't twist it but ya'll know we womens don't listen to ya'll. lol And furthermore, it closes discussion. The internets don't want that.

      But, I agree that women should own up to the label if it applies to them, but it's such a subjective term. A ho to one ain't a ho to another. Even Webster's Dictionary is vague. It says "promiscuous", but what qualifies as "promiscuous". WHO determines this ish?

      1. I mean … I think he J summed it up best with #3. That's the way it is, has always been, and is gonna be for a long long time.

        I think we all will agree its not fair … but neither is me buying some chic a drink and not getting domed up that night!

  15. I've had the craziest day today, but I would like to add. The reason why women are half-hos or getting away with things today that they traditionally never got away with before is because of the guys who are enabling them.

    It's quite pathetic. Because a lot of guys say one thing to women and another to their mans and them. They'll tell one shorty, I respect you even though you smashed my boy. And that shorty is feeling like people are acting grown and in reality. There is no chance in hell he's ever going to respect you.

    Dude's encourage women to cheat on their man. Listen here, if I met you when you had a man and you cheat with me. No matter how much I tell you I love you, i'm never going to really respect you. You're done son.

    1. "if I met you when you had a man and you cheat with me. No matter how much I tell you I love you, i’m never going to really respect you. You’re done son."

      truer words have never been spoken. i'm telling you. its a wrap. we can continue status quo but taking it further? thats a negative.

    2. Dr. J, I sense you being a person that needs to be 100% in control and be able to manipulate situations to your favor.

  16. @Dr. J

    Since we can be half-hos assuming we've all had sex with anyone other than the current person that we're seeing, what would make a woman a non-ho, virginity?

    Isn' t this post all a matter of what information a woman chooses to expose about herself, and the degree of chauvinism she decides to settle for in her man? As mentioned, a guy won't know if his girl is a ho, unless she tells him. Your boys might say they slept with your girl, but they lie. And really, what difference does it make? The past is the past. People need to grow up!

    As a female, I'm amazed that wanting to have a job outside of the domestic duties of home and having my own money is equated with "acting like a man." You guys do realize that not all women want: to be in a committed relationship with a man, to have children, to get married, or to be solely dependent on a man for a source of income, right? You do know that the whole idea of promiscuity was created by men as a means of oppressing women, because up until the 1900s, we too, were considered property by you (well not black men – (you were property too), but white men), right?

    Quite frankly, I don't think women want to be with men who are shall we say "community property"either.

    I also have a problem with the "supply and demand" theory as I don't think people should be equated with commodities, unless we're talking in regards to the sex industry, where it's just business. I think if black women began to treat black men the way we are treated, your supply and demand issue would dissipate. In London, I don't think the black women have the same complaints as American women, since they consider a larger population of men.

    1. Interracial dating is still fairly new concept in the U.S. and not so much in the U.K.

      (this is another reason why I think we're so enamored with half castes here)

      I agree with your thoughts on supple and demand.

      Its the fact that black women keep fighting for this ever so elusive "black love", to the point where they're being exploited by the so called "slim pickings"

      Love shouldn't have a color and whose to say black love is greater or any more stronger and passionate as "Brown", "white", or "yellow" love. In other words don't sell yourself short.

  17. Is there a middle ground??

    Like a previous commenter stated, many would pass up a virgin for the ho in today's society. So, I chalk this up to personal opinion. I hear one man say one day he doesn't care and the other say the next day that it matters, so *shrug*. Hopefully everyone finds someone thats just right for them someday.

    I too am beginning to give the woman's movement a side-eye, but I don't blame the movement I blame the women…

    A good friend once told me (shout out to the ROO's) its women who have the power and if they all decided one day to close their legs to men they'll regain control of the situation.

    Definitely a long shot, but I concur.

  18. I find this post incredibly misogynistic, but unfortunately true.

    It seems to me the options black woman have when it comes to sexual politics is this:

    A) Have the fortune of getting "boo'ed up" (which is unlikely considering the ratios, and the perils of dating inter-racially), and have as much sex as your partner is willing/able to.

    B) Be single and have very little sex or none at all (to avoid the "ho" label). Be frustrated.

    C) Have sex when and with whom you want. Be satisfied, but contend with the "ho/damaged goods/undesirable" labels, making getting boo'ed in the future an even harder proposition than previously stated. Which ultimately, after your prime is over or your reputation is shot, leads back to situation "B".

    Damn, ya'll. It seems to me that we black women just need to invest in a vibrator and keep it moving! I guess this situation applies to all women regardless of race to some extent, but is just exacerbated among black women (especially the educated ones with standards).

    So, Dr. J, being the all-knowing author of this ridiculous post, what do you suggest the black woman do, given the shoddy cards we are dealt? You talk such a big game out what is "wrong" with us Black women, give us a solution!

    1. I mean to be perfectly honest. Whether you be man or woman… just get yo' ish together. Man… hos don't get made accidentally, they knew when they was doing ho activity that they shouldn't have done it, but they said to themselves, "I'm doing me" or "Guys do it too" these are not reasons to do anything. It's really easy to not be a ho, you just stop acting on impulse and use your brain.

      1. "It's really easy to not be a ho" – what are you're referrences? What kind of research has established this? Do men always need to be guided and redirected in regards to sex because they can't self contain? Are you suggesting that women are smarter because we hold the power to either let you have the vagina or not, therefore we are the ones using our brains to a fuller more mature capacity then men?

        Yet – men are quick to call a woman a hoe because she uses her power to the best of her ability. *sighs heavily* what a shame men's mentality is.

  19. My one comment~

    SuperHead got married.

    All this out the window. LmAo. I know a lot of known hoes who have gotten married. But Anna is right. Only young, insecure men ask the numbers question. If u got to a point in ur relationship, where marriage is up for discussion, or wife'n n general, the 'hoe' concern is a little old n a late topic to b brought up. If u didn't fall in and every man u pass doesn't give her the look and that special 'hi'… Just be happy with who u have. U know u like them tricks she learned anyway. 😀

  20. I would agree (more) if men were more consistent and honest in about their behavior in terms of this debate.

    What has happened for trillions of years and is still happening is that men have trouble trying to balance the sexuality of a woman with her desired purity. Lol! Some have such issues with this because on one hand, you're drawn to purity (probably because it's the opposite of what you define your masculinity as…seriously when's the last time you hear a guy running being manly and "pure"), and on the other hand your aroused by/titillated by sexuality and not just any ole sexuality…but (whips and chains, handcuffs, smack a little booty up with my belt.)

    What this means for women is that men unconsciously (and sometimes consciously) "punish" women (socially–or otherwise…check the Middle East) in some fashion whether they conform to either of these categories.

    (I.e. "Pure woman are Grrreat!" And yet, men will ignore them with excuses like boredom… /"Hos are BAD!" And yet, they are getting wifeyed at staggering rates…)

    What's also ironic is that despite all the fuss that most men make about whoredom, they still support it and as many others have truthfully stated, will marry a hoe in a second.

    In fact I'm willing to bet that if you asked most married women of ANY race, she's probably had a good number of partners under her belt.

    Simple supply and demand laws would assert that if more men stopped hypocritically entertaining and/or courting hoes, (while ironically ostracizing them) there would be less of them, if its really that big of a deal to ya'll.

    Now before ya'll go all alpha BALListic on me, don't think I'm male bashing because women are similarly ambivalent in some of their descriptions towards men as well.

    (Um, yeah…if you REALLY hate assholes or arrogant men, then why do they get the drawers so easily…?)

    I just find it interesting that we sometimes like to stack the odds against the opposite sex when our actions show that we don't know what the hell we want in the first place.

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