****** Admin Note ******
I know you you probably already did it … but why not do it again? Like Lay’s … can’t do it just once!
Vote for us in the Black Weblog Finals! You know you wanna
Because we have all been coming down on the fairer sex kinda hard (#TWSS) as of late … I don’t want anyone thinking we’re a bunch of mean sumbitches. So … we have our psuedo regular female writer … Lisa Marie … to break up all the “she’s a hoe” and “b*tch … you can’t get a man”
Earlier this week I had a team lunch with my coworkers at which I got the chance to chat with some folks I hadn’t really talked to yet. During our conversation, I noticed some previously unseen attractive traits about one coworker in particular: Brian. I had always thought he was cute, but through our convo, I also learned that he’s smart, driven, funny, and an overall good dude. This got me thinking…if I wasn’t bunned up…would I consider dating Brian? Given his personality, yes … given his pigmentationally challenged race … maybe not.
In the past, circa 7th grade, the answer to this question was a resounding yes … in fact my list of “qualities I want in a boyfriend”, blue eyes and brown hair were near the top. This changed of course as I got older and realized I was black became more in tune with the undeniable greatness of a black man. By college, my answer was a definite N.O. although I always did have a little thing for Asian men; I know, I know, I know but something about the eyes. Now that I’m in my mid 20’s, I am reevaluating my “black only” dating policy. I mean, how can I discriminate? It’s 2009 after all…shouldn’t I live up to Martin Luther King’s dream of people not being judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character? I know Dr. King may not have intended when it comes to dating, but isn’t that still a part of his dream? Society no longer judges openly and blatantly on race in the career world, why should us black women continue to do so in the dating world? Right … ?
Originally when I sat down to write this, I was gonna say “no, don’t do it … ain’t no man, but the Black Man” And that’s the truth. Nothing compares to them…but since they’re all leaving us for white and Hispanic women the world is becoming both more diverse and more understanding of interracial relationships (albeit slowly), why limit ourselves?
In my view, the main pro to dating interracially is that men of other races have better credit and good hair the ability to teach us different things. Dating outside of your race can expose you to another culture, religion, and point of view. You can date a white guy who’s part French and part Irish, and learn more about wine and the Potato Famine than you’ve ever wanted to know. Or date a Korean guy and learn how to hook up nails like nobody’s business a rich culture steeped in tradition. Not only do you get to have some love, companionship, and all that good stuff … you’re also expanding your horizons!
Now before you go out there and grab yourself a white man, remember that while we’re getting more accepting … it’s happening slowly. Yea you can date outside your race and not be thrown in a river forbidden to marry or ostracized like in the past, but you’re still going to get side-eyed by every black woman you pass be in for your share of challenges. Case in point, a friend of mine went to hang out with a white friend of hers in DC. While they were hanging out, she got super wasted a little tipsy and he had to help her walk down the street by putting his arm around her. Even though nothing was going on between them since like 50% of the men in DC he was as gay, the attention that they gathered from whites and blacks alike was extremely negative…stares were given, obscenities were yelled, etc, etc.
So if you do decide to take that journey, get ready for at least a few disapprovals, both from society at large and your internal friend/family circle. Disapprovals aside, I do think that if ever given the opportunity, i.e., if my SO’s ever crazy enough to dump me …I might consider catching a bit of jungle fever.
What about y’all? Anyone ever crossed the color line? If so, how was the experience? If not, would you ever?
P.S. If you are considering it, keep in mind that a recent study claims that the most endowed men are of French ancestry….just thought I’d put that out there.