In continuing with this week’s theme of responding to reader questions, I’m gonna summarize part of a reader’s email to us and include a good chunk of her actual words. I’ll follow that up with my thoughts. Let’s begin…
The reader had her eye on a dude who works in a store she frequents. She approached him and they started talkin’. He told her that his mom had recently passed and that he got divorced in 2008…and that his ex-wife and ex-girlfriend helped him care for his mother, so he was just lookin’ for a FWB scenario and not a relationship. A guy that’s upfront? Yep, it’s a wonderful thing isn’t it? Anyways, the reader ended up dude’s house which he apparently inherited from his mother. The reader and dude end up doin’ the do. She ended up feelin’ disappointed because she wanted to wait him out a bit. The dude invites her over 2 days later to “finish what they started”. She was cool with that and figured she’d go over to get hers. That’s when things got interesting:
When I came over things were cool and we got into our groove then all of a sudden his phone goes off, and while I’m giving him oral sex he is checking his phone. I then tell him that its rude so he puts his thang away. Later as we are actually having intercourse, he gets up in the middle of it and checks the window. When I ask him whats the problem he only mumbles something incoherently and we get back to what we are doing. Because we were in the middle of sex, I didnt really think too long on his actions but once it was over, I felt uncomfortable. Once we’re done, he puts on his clothes and walks out the door, when I ask him where he went he says he had to go get something from his car. Oh and by the way we had sex in his living room. He only went to his bedroom to get more condoms.
So as I get dressed and we get up to leave he asks me if everything is ok, he says I look disapointed. He then concludes that he thinks its because I didn’t spend the night, and that’s why I’m upset. I tell him no, but at the moment I couldn’t fully formulate an explanation as to why I was so irritated and upset. He tells me that when I am ready to tell him what was wrong to just call him.
I havent spoken to him since he dropped me off and I really dont want to see him again. I’m just wondering if I should call him and explain to him why I was upset and let him know that I dont want to see him again or should I just wait for him to call then explain or just not talk to him altogether. I also want to know what was up with that weird behavior.
Faithful SBM Reader,
I had to read this email a few times—partially because I found the man’s living room/bedroom antics to be hilarious, and partially because I was genuinely intrigued. With regard to Buttercup’s question as to whether she should call him and tell him why she’s upset, I think that’s a definite yes. Even if you had only thronxed a couple of times, it doesn’t hurt to tell him that he ODed and as a result you don’t wanna deal with him anymore. 95% of the time, closure is a good thing. I’d also hate for you to be walkin’ around thinkin’ about what he did but never gettin’ it off your breasts. Then next thing you know, you go into that store and see him there and spaz…or, you avoid the store all together and miss out on some quality items.
As for checkin’ his phone while you were fellatin’ him, that is kinda disrespectful. However, given his recent track record with women, excluding his mom of course, I’m not too surprised at his actions. Though you said he wanted to have a FWB arrangement, it sounds more like a liberal version of f*ck buddies. It’s also possible that he is the type of dude that always needs to have a woman in his presence. It doesn’t necessarily matter what she’s doing, but I’m sure he wouldn’t complain if the actions happen to be s*xual.
I’m willin’ to bet a small amount of money that the phone goin’ off was another woman and he was concerned about this person showin’ up. I think that’s evident in the fact he stopped in the middle of sex, mumbled some gibberish, then went to look out the window. Could have been a crazy chick he used to deal with or it could’ve been another “arrangement”. Who knows for sure though. It’s also possible that he did just go out to his car to get something…or maybe he just had to fart and didn’t wanna do it in the house. Once again, who knows?
What does everybody else think of this overall scenario? Are my thoughts and assumptions erroneous? What other reasons could have explained this dude’s odd actions? And lastly, does anybody have similar stories of weird bedroom or living room behavior?
Givin’ it to you RAW,