A couple weeks ago, a member of the great Omega Psi Phi Fraternity, Tunde, wrote a blog post on a situation that one of his female friends encountered. It is important to note that he has not been pumping said friend as would be expected of us Ques. But to give an overview, his friend was dating her ex’s frat brother. Actually, let me be a bit more specific. She was dating the line brother of her ex-boyfriend. For those that aren’t too knowledgeable of Greek life, this means she was dating the man who pledged and became a member of the fraternity at the same time and at the same school as her ex-boyfriend.
To even go deeper (pause), this means that her ex and this man she is now dating had a lot in common because of their shared pledge process. They more or less became brothers. Now the ex-boyfriend and her current interest may not have been best friends, but they were extremely close in the most hetero way possible. The ex-boyfriend got a bit salty because he found out by surprise that his frat brother and his ex-girlfriend were dating. Granted it had been 2-3 years since he broke up with the girl, but this didn’t make it any more acceptable that the 2 of them met and are now actively seein’ each other.
After reading this, that notorious light bulb went off above my aerodynamically shaped dome. I wondered how I’d feel if one of my boys started dating one of my ex’s regardless of how I ended with the person. Quite honestly, if I found out by surprise I’d be tight. Actually, if either of them approached me to share the news I’d still be tight. I don’t care if it was 2 or 5 years later. When it comes to good friends or close fraternal brethren, there are some rules that come into play. I’m all for people finding love through whatever mediums are out there aside from meeting at a strip club, but sometimes you really need to think about how that decision affects the people around you—particularly in an instance like this. I really couldn’t imagine datin’, pipin’, or snugglin’ with any of the girls that my friends or close frat brothers had dated in the last 5 years. One time I ended up dating a girl who had coincidentally shacked up in a previous life with a frat brother of mine. Needless to say, we are no longer together.
At this point, I’m sure there are people screaming insecurity, fragile ego, and immaturity as usual. Those seem to be the default words to go to when something isn’t agreeable. I’m starting to think insecurity and immaturity make the world go round. But in my humble opinion as it pertains to this situation, datin’ your boy or girl’s ex is just a formula for disaster. As a man, I operate under the thought process of “There’s so many women out there to date and mess with, so why you gotta deal with my ex homie?” Where as many “older” women will typically say “The past is the past and you need to let that sh*t go!” Well of course some would say that. The numbers are already skewed to a man’s favor, so of course if one has the opportunity to snag a good guy with mean pipe she’s going to do whatever is reasonable to justify make that a reality.
But yeah, this is just my opinion. So what does everyone else think of scenarios like this? Is it okay to date your friend or frat/sorority person’s ex? Is there a statute of limitation in play for this? Anybody have any relationship success stories that came (snicker) as a result of this type of dating situation?
You dated my LB? Have a nice life,