The following is an excellent question my homegirl posted on Facebook:
Fellas have you ever been with a girl who has some random male friend who thinks he has rights to her? You know who I mean the one that has a crush on her and is waiting for her to have a weak moment. The one who irks your nerves, tries to stop by her crib without calling, or he calls her all hours of the day and night just to talk and see what she is doing. If your shorty is jonesing on the phone with this guy at 10p, 11p, 12a, Is your girl and her friend disrespecting you or is it cool with you?
Now ladies…….. ladies, ladies, ladies, let’s flip the scenario 😉 your boo has a female friend who is just a little too friendly, seems a little like she’s throwing herself, she’s hugging up on him every time she sees him, calls all hours of the day and night just to talk and see what he is doing. If your boo is jonesing on the phone with this girl at 10p, 11p, 12a, Is he and his friend disrespecting you or is it cool ?
Do you ignore it, check your shorty, or check the other person?
Needless to say, this question got a Milli responses! You know I had to put my 2¢ into the conversation so here we go:
People build relationships through attraction, love, and understanding one another. None of this matters if you 2 don’t have a foundation underneath your house composed of RESPECT! Respect for yourself, your significant other (S/O), and your relationship. Without respect, your relationship becomes a facade. Through my own personal experiences, I’ve come to admire and cherish all my friends, irrespective of gender. I strongly believe that “lovers” come and go, but family and good friends are irreplaceable (another article in itself). I’m not the one to drop all my friends when I get into a relationship, because those people will still be there through the good and bad times. However, those same friends must respect your relationship no matter their personal feelings towards you or your shorty!
Those scenarios Lily described (Extra friendly, constant late night calls, jonesing etc.) can cause your S/O to flip out! Such phrases as “Who the hell does this B*tch think she is?!”, “I know she wants to FCUK you!”, and others may fly out her mouth faster than a formula one race car at Daytona Beach! Or she can choose to ignore it completely. Either way, your man/girl should be checked before anyone else. They promote and encourage this by simply ignoring these behaviours. Your S/O should be comfortable enough to tell their friend that they need to chill with any extra affection, or anything that may tick your shorty off. Your shorty earned the right to command a certain level of respect once you “put a ring on it”. Your S/O has the right to dictate certain airspace restrictions, and if when they do, you need to holla at your friend and inform them of the policy, because you know what happens when your friend violates restricted airspace:
I’ve never been a jealous BF. I always have confidence in myself and the relationships I’ve had to never feel threatened of other dudes. It’s different when these so-called friends blatantly show out in front of you with no regard for your relationship. If you see it, then your shorty sees it too. Then I would question the type of “friend” this dude is to her, and inform my S/O to check it before I do.
I’ve been on the other end of the spectrum too. The minute I hear a female friend has a new man in her life, I send her my farewell care package and chuck the deuces. They would immediately ask why I’m acting up, and it’s because of the situation above. Not because I disrespect relationships, but because I don’t want NO problems, problems (c) Lil Scrappy and Lil John. Seriously though, I understand the dynamic of relationships, and the respect that you must give to your FOTOS (Friends of the opposite sex). My FOTOS will tell me when I can/cannot call, try not to do this because of xyz, and other guidelines so that their S/O won’t get upset. I feel them 100% on this issue, and try my best to convert my interaction with my FOTOS accordingly.
So I say check your S/O first. If the problem persists, or if you don’t even see an attempt at correcting this issue, then by all means embarrass the hell out of your S/O and check the friend. It’s only right! This doesn’t give you psycho, insecure, sucka 4 love people the right to be paranoid of EVERY FOTOS with which your S/O converses. You don’t have the right to check every friendship they have. That’s whack to say the least and a definite ground for dismissal. We all know the difference, so don’t exhaust your S/O credit prematurely. After all, we’re in a recession!
Your Thoughts? Speak on it!!
Streetz alias Mr. Write Now