SBM: “Dawg, did you get 22″ rims on your car?”
Jerome D: “Yeah son, I had to stunt on em.”
SBM: “Stunt on who?”
JD: “You know son … the haters!”
SBM: *loud sigh* “What haters? Who is hating on you?”
JD: “You know, the people who don’t wanna see me riding clean”
SBM: “You got a used beemer that is costing you a grip and …”
SBM: “and … n****a … you live at home with your mom!”
JD: “I mean … she don’t bother me and its just for now.”
SBM: “Your 31 and your car payments match my rent!”
JD: “I’m saying though, I could move out … but I wouldn’t be riding clean.”
SBM: “Damn you BET!!!!!”
I can’t stand the hood rich.
I mean … I detest these negoes. Women are bad … but the make version is so much worst. are like a plague.
And as much as I hate to admit this … as much as it hurts me to say this … it’s almost entirely a black thing
I love my people. I really really love all of us, the strength we exhibit, and our unique way of doing things … but if I catch one more motherf*cker who is riding around in a car nicer than mine and paying for his grocery with food stamps … I’m personally leading the charge on BET and single handidly snatching T-pain and Soulja Boy’s chains … and making a $500,000 donation to Teach for America.
So, today I’m going to take SBM.net away from the usual woman bashing witty relationship advice, and issue a public service announcement to you … you … you n*****s!
Before I end up going into a rant that get’s me blocked at more work sites and has BET sending trained assassin’s to my resident and Aaron McGruder (think Boondocks) … let me share with you all the:
Top 5 #Fails of flossing/stunting/blinging ass negroes!
You don’t own sh*t
Credit card is maxed out. Rent to your mom’s is past due. You think a mutual fund is when you and your man’s both pay for a shared set of Gucci shades. The bank actually owns everything you ride around in, wear, and claim is yours. When it comes to amassing some actual assets … #FAIL.
You aspire to … stunt harder … that’s it
Who needs an education, career, or assest … you got some 22s … and them b*tches stay clean. You have no long term goals in life, except to look flyer than the guy next to you. Funny thing is, that guy riding around in his Camry has a 401K, two Master’s, and an earning potential that will leave not only his kids rich, but their kids. When he does buy that Benz, straight cash my friend. Real aspirations in life … #FAIL
You refuse to buy used, live with other people, eat at Ruby Tuesday’s, save, ….
When it comes to what you won’t do … the list is pages long. It’s funny how every single thing you refuse to do would save you money. Sadly, the one thing I have noticed between a lot of 2520s straight out of college and a large population of us … is that they will sacrifice now, to be better in the end. I first noticed this when I was looking to buy an Audi, and my co-workers gave me this weird look. Who knew their recommendations to buy stocks would have been a better look in the end? When it comes to taking it a little easy today … so you can go so much harder tomorrow … #FAIL
Investing … what’s that?
Rims don’t appreciate … sorry. That 6 series … it’s not gonna go up in value. You refuse to read a book on finances. Stocks are a “hustle”. A broker is for “rich white folk”. WTF? When it comes to people who have no idea that you are supposed to take some of your money … every month … and make it grow … #FAIL
Jay is on BET with a new Maserati … Lets go to the dealer
It just hit me. BET is a joint project by diamond makers, luxury car makers, clothing lines, and rent-a-rim shops in order to sap every last dollar out of the black community. They all got together, figured out the best marketing strategy is to make up a bunch of words to make spending money cool, mysogyny the “hot” thing, and “booty butt cheeks” an everlasting staple in the black community. To you … the secret conglomerate … #SUCCESS. To the longevity of our people … #FAIL
Barack … save us
Now, don’t get me wrong. There are a lot of people with nice things, taking care of home first and making sure they avoid these ills. There are plenty of people with legitimate money, with legitimate nice things, and know what the f*ck they’re doing. But … that’s not who I’m talking about.
We all know who this is aimed at. I was him for a short period (I’m human), you might have gone through the same thing, and you probably have at least 3 friends who need to hit that stunnaholics anonymous meeting.
Did I go a little too hard? Am I just some uppity negro talking out my ass? Or … are you fed up with this too and ready to grab them torches, and take down BET and every rent-a-rim, payday loan, and ez credit place along the way?
– SBM aka Mr. Waking ninjas up