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The Most Wonderful Time Of the Year

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***** Admin Note *****
Today ushers in the 400th post on this site. Not a man of big celebrations, it does make me think back to the days where I was grinding hard, trying to make a name, and posting all by myself every single day.  We’ve come a long way!

– SBM
*************************

What you are about to read is not rocket science nor the most original thing you’ve ever read/seen in your life, but given the time of year and the fact that BP III has finally been released by the artist that actually created it, I feel obligated by my duties as officer of the Cocksman’s Court to give everyone, especially the ladies, a bit of a reminder.

Each season has their particular perks; spring and summer bring out the sexy summer dresses and rooftop parties, and winter gives you the opportunity to break out dope ass jackets, coats, scarves and other accessories (depending on where you live of course).  The male species however, identifies the seasons by the sports that are on the tube.  Spring is marked by March Madness and the summer has Baseball season (aka Yankee season) and the winter is time for the NBA, which is all very exciting. (I’m sure there are men out there that know when exactly Hockey season is, but I don’t know any Canadians that can help me with that.) Fall however, marks the beginning of the single most important 17 weeks of every man’s life.  I am of course speaking about the holiest of the holy, the great sport of American football.

See Also:  Happy Labor Day! Crack some crabs or crash a BBQ!

With the exception of college basketball, baseball and basketball seasons are long enough that guys can miss a game here or there and still not feel like it’s the end of world, because you know towards the end of the season and during the playoffs they’ll be able to see at least 2-3 good to great games a week.  But there is no room for error during football season.  Every single game is important. Even if your boo’s favorite team is playing the NFC East punching bag Washington Pushovers Redskins, that doesn’t mean the game has no consequences.  The evolution of fantasy football has deepened the importance of being glued to the tube every Sunday from approximately 1pm to 11pm.  College football has a relatively short season as well, but even Telemundo shows college football games, so it’s hard to miss a college game, therefore not as serious.  The NFL however, is all most men live for.  Sh*t, I’m sure even gay men get excited for football season.  I mean, Serena Williams is the only reason I watch women’s tennis, so I would imagine dudes of the other persuasion would enjoy football.

Like I said in the beginning, this is common knowledge to anyone that has a pulse in America.  But somehow it seems that some women have the uncanny ability to find a way to interrupt this holy day.  Why in the world would you think I wanted to go to the chick you envy your best friend from Sunday School’s housewarming this Sunday, when I’ve been talking about watching this game since the damn schedule came out.  Don’t get me wrong, we can still communicate with one another during a game, but if I just dropped my L and my snifter of Jack Daniel’s and the announcer sounds like he’s having multiple orgasms, now is definitely not the time for that “you don’t pay me enough attention” tantrum, nor is it a good time for any activity outside of my domicile that does not involve me holding an alcoholic beverage in front of a device that  broadcasts a NFL game.  Unless you are about to die, now’s not the time. (And had you sat your ass down and watched the game, you wouldn’t be in this near death situation.)  I don’t interrupt during….during…umm…well, whatever the hell it is you watch, so why in the world would you think now is a good time to engage in some sort of distracting activity?   And just so I don’t have a post that doesn’t get me called a misogynist, I’ll point out that doing the nasty or any doing the nasty related activity does not count as distracting activity.  That’s just the way it works.

See Also:  5 Reasons You Should Be Dating an Older Woman

So as we draw closer to another sacred Sunday, please ladies, be mindful of how important this is to us.  Yea, we might give in to your asinine distractions from the grid iron glory, but please believe every time you prevent us from watching football counts as a demerit which we vividly remember around Christmas time if you make it that far.  Just don’t rock the boat.  If you’re not a sports lover or don’t understand the game, give it a shot anyway. You may even get lucky and see a “Real” Housewife of Atlanta or New Jersey in the stands wearing her husband’s signing bonus on her wrist.  Grab ya man a dutch and a bag of chips on your way home, and just let him have his 10 hours of bliss.  And for the women that bring their boo a fresh rock glass of Gentleman Jack or Guinness at the end of each quarter, may the Lord richly bless your soul.

Wondering who to start in fantasy football,
RightCoastLexSteele, But Not Right Now

Comment(33)

  1. No arguments here!!! There is NOTHING like lounging around all day Sunday eating and watching football on a big screen.

    And I have always refused to date a man who says "I don't really watch sports". GTFOH.

  2. I agree, leave a man and his football alone. I'm more of a basketball chick so I will throw down a few beers and hang then. Football season, on the other hand, I use to get the hell away from yall negros! Put some beer in the fridge, throw some snacks on the stove and I'm ghost!! Its my time to have some mf peace!

    1. Putting beer in the fridge and snacks on the stove will allow you to go have mf peace and then when he's done watching football he'll be grateful and provide you with some mf piece! lol

  3. HAPPY 400th!!!

    Football season = peace and space for me to do what I want, lol! Me and my girls get together on those Sundays and chill. Some snacks in the kitchen, a quick kiss on your frontal lobe, throw up some deuces to your boys and I'm out..ok i love you bye-bye

  4. Im with delight, I'll even organize the ish for you! If the Falcons ain't playing, I'll hook you & yo boys up with a nice finger food feast and be in the other room reading a book. I might even check in every now and them and refill. Or since I got you distracted, I might go out and cop those new pair of heels I saw at Macy's!!! It's a win-win situation!

  5. I just got my plasma upgrade in time for the best season on TV in the world. I wish someone would interrupt me while the Giants are in the midst of demolishing some teams hope and dreams. Beers, sandwichs and snakes are always in my home. The boo and I enjoy ourselves immensly and it turn into fun later and bets are made and then most definitely kept.

        1. LOL @ The Bears not being heart friendly. Big Blue is most assuredly the way to go. You won't find the finger foods in my home for the game though. Always out the the crew watching the game and bringing a little bit of NY to DC. The Skins fans hate to see us coming. 🙂

  6. I couldn't give a rat's behind about anything related to balls regardless if it's foot, base…golf…basket…whatEVA unless they're directly connected to a man. literally connected. LMAO So do you…and I'll do me during those games!

  7. Happy 400th to the cool kids of SBM (including the man they call Streetz)

    Amen Hallelujah to this post! Women, definitely TRY to get involved or just appreciate that your man appreciates football. Giving him that love goes a LONG way in boo relations

  8. well-said…….. i know how i will feel if he interrupts me during the season finale of American idol or gossip girl…….. so football season= food+beer in d house and me going shopping

  9. Love this! My Dad trained me well not to get in the way of a man and his sports. Keep the beers stacked and maybe even rock the colors of ya boo's team. Its a fun time to break out the little cheerleading outfit we all have stashed away 😉 Give him those 4 hrs and wait. I just laugh at all the times my mouth got put on a time out growing up LOL…Thanks DAD!

    And I appreciate the BP III plug!!!! Congrats on positive dialogue too!

  10. Here here! I got head last season whilst watching my team score. That was a necessary distraction…but I still go to see them score!

    Co-sign this post.

      1. You should have been in sports bar with a Giants jersey on watching the game. Unhappy faces in burgandy were the entertainment for the night. And my Giants crew ain't polite about it either.

    1. lol…forget birthday sex, HALFTIME sex is where it's at!!! lol. His energy is high, his adrenaline has got him amped, and he won't leave the living room, so you're bent over a couch because you've teased him all day by cooking for him in jersey and boyshorts… Football season is like bliss for more reasons than I can count…

  11. Congrats on the 400th. I became a faithful reader here a few weeks ago and I enjoy every topic I've read.

    I don't appreciate you going on the SKINS like that. All we need to do is get rid of Jason Campbell and we'll be good. My lil brother is a QB in high school and his stats are better than JCs…SMH!

    I love FOOTBALL! I get pissed off when I'm distracted by someone who don't know the damn game, asking 50 million questions or screaming at the TV when they don't even know what they are screaming about…URGH! I'm trying to teach my daughter now (who is only 4) that you just don't interrupt the game. Wait til a commercial…PLEASE!

    I went on a date with this negro that thought telling me "he doesn't watch FOOTBALL and I would get all his time" would impress me. I politely said, that's so not sexy! Needless to say it didn't work out…he was too clingy.

  12. It's hard in to be a true blue COWBOY fan here in the land of GIANTS but I am ready for some FOOTBALL. I want no distractions from the folks who don't have a clue… "what's a first down?" Please STFU and let me watch!! Pick up Football for dummies… I've already taken a beating for that mammoth scoreboard at the new stadium. Do-over? Really Jerry? I just pray getting rid of T.O plays out!! Man up Romo!! I just want to go to work in peace on Monday mornings!!

    p.s. Jets don't have a snowball's chance in hell but…

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