I did a post the other day over on that condescending prick’s my buddy Slim’s blog the other day about the top 5 reasons women should enthusiastically “baby sit” her SO’s kids. According to the old saying, sometimes it’s better to give than to receive. And honestly, sometimes a lot of men don’t receive all they should because they front on the giving. If you’re a guy and you’re not going down on your lady, that puts you in the same boat as women that don’t give head, and that’s whack. So here’s the list, I guess you can call this some sort of female appreciation post…
You Should Be Doin It Anyway
First off, if you’re not doing it for her, that’s just lame. That should be highlighted, bolded and put in italics on your resume. Twice. And if you are doing it hopefully you’re licking her until she soaks the sheets up and not being stingy with it. Sh*t, if you expect her to give you immaculate mouth hugs, you gotta give her some motivation. A little extra special attention goes a long way. But in the interest of having a well rounded bedroom game, this feature should come standard. Your foreplay game should be as good or better than your d*ck game. Trust me, I’m a Cocksman.
She’ll stroke up your ego, then you
I know it’s supposed to be all about her, but there’s just something about hearing your lover say your name in between moans over….and over….and over….and over, all while calling the Lord’s name in vain. It’ll make you feel like the king of the world to have her contorting and squirming in utter ecstacy because you are handling your business.
It’ll make your life easier
If you know what you are doing down there, you should be able to make her fire one or two off before you even get to body rocking. That takes care of half the work you gotta do right there. By the time you get around to dropping the hammer, she be ready to explode, and explode she will. She’ll ravage you with a wild look in her eyes like she just got out of jail then bring you a brew and a sammich once you’re done for your efforts. It’s the same idea like warming up your car…you wanna have it nice and warm when you hop in.
She will be open for other things
You know that position where the chick hangs off the edge of the couch backwards laying on her shoulders that you been meaning to try but she’s too scared to do it? Well if you keep doing this consistently, one of two thing will happen…either you’ll be able to talk her into much easier, or you’ll be able to manuever her into it while she’s laying there paralyzed from climaxing all over herself. Try not to break her neck though, could be a bit awkward to explain to friends and the authorities. So if you ever wanna break out that sex swing or those door cuffs, this is where you start.
If you don’t, someone else will
You know how you have the number of that freaky chick with the no gag reflex? Well women too have encountered a gentleman with a sick tongue game, and she knows where to find him. You ever wonder why she’s messing with “that dude”, or you wonder why the girl who’s world you thought you rocked won’t return your texts anymore? That’s because someone else is going the extra mile you won’t embark on. It’s human nature to want to go where the grass is greener, and the fellow that is willing to play in her grass will always have the upper hand on you.
I’m pretty sure that some of our female clientele can come up with some more reasons why you be licking it before you stick it, but this is just a few reasons from the perspective of the League of Cocksmen. The bottom line is no matter what level the relationship, there should always be some sort of compromise between the sexes, especially in the bedroom. So if you are barely blessing your woman or not blessing her at all, then you shouldn’t be complaining that she does the same to you. Over the weekend, if you are one of the more reluctant cats, take these words of advice with you while you’re tearing up the sheets this weekend and see how it works out for you. And if there’s absolutely no chance of you getting laid this weekend, now you know why.
It’s not the lotion that makes my face shiny,
The Award Winning RightCoastLexSteele, Hurricane Tongue