Home Featured The consequences of s*x and relationship blogging

The consequences of s*x and relationship blogging

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http://image.spreadshirt.com/image-server/image/product/4449190/view/1/type/png/width/280/height/280Bloggin aint easy, especially regarding sex and relationships. All of us on the internets write these blogs to inform, assist, and address issues concerning everyone. For me, it can also be therapeutic. However, these blogs are not without their caveats. A bloggers rants, opinions, and sexually mentally stimulating writings may seem effortless, but we take a lot of risk when we post these blogs. Take a look into our world, as I uncover some of the pitfalls and consequences of Sex/Relationship blogging:

High Expectations – When you write a sex and relationship blog, you talk a lot of sh*t about your sex game give advice, speak about your personal experience, and offer constructive criticism to both current events and readers questions. We read a lot of other sex/relationship blogs, hear countless stories from our friends, associates, and acquaintances, and scrutinize this aspect of our lives in great detail. It would behoove us to draw from these areas and present a realistic and beneficial blog for you. Anyone who reads these blogs may assume that the men and women writing these blogs must be sexual deities experts in the sack and in relationships. I’m here to tell you that I’m a Scorpio and yes it’s true us sex/relationship bloggers are human. We make, have made, and probably will make the same mistakes that you have. We just draw from our collective experience and share with you, to help you be better than us, have intelligent conversation about mature topics, and inevitably, pass time during the day at work.

Dating/Relationship Issues – SBM touched on this in his Dating a Blogger story. I’d also like to add that your wifey/cut buddy/FwB may not appreciate some of your commentary on the blogs. I know some people whose S/O’s would b*tch and complain about the advice they gave on blogs, or would want to know every single details about the commenters, other bloggers, and of any “first hand experience” you may have. At times, we like to separate our “work” from pleasure, and it can be intrusive to constantly pick at someones craft, especially when they deal with personal issues. It’s a fine line to tread if you have a love interest who makes it difficult.

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Real life conflict – Unless you are 100% anonymous, your family and friends most likely know that you blog. For Sex and Relationship bloggers, we think of this as a gift and a curse. We want to promote our blogs, we want our friends to read and promote as well. Chances are, people that your current and former significant other/person you dated/cut buddy reads these blogs too. This may place a filter on what you post. You don’t want to put too much of your personal business out on the e-streets and at the same time you may not want to throw anyone under the bus either. Even if you keep the story super anonymous and generic, someone may read saying “This reggin is talking about me?!” and proceed to break your car windows and post a plethora of hate tweets on your account confront you and give the blogger unnecessary headaches. Although some people may deserve the ether, you do have to consider these factors and it may inhibit your creativity.

You Need More People – Credibility can make or break any blogger/writer. Imagine if you found out that I was really a 16yr old Warcraft playing dude from middle America who’s a social parriah & has seen no pahhhhhhhts of the p***y in real life ever? Would you still take his word as gospel? What about if someone who knows a blogger in real life comes onto his/her blog to blast them for giving out hypocritical information. Do you see is as hate or valid opinion? I can remember 3 separate occasions in which I told close friends “I think certain people may try to blast me for this one” Fortunately, I’ll listen to heavy Gucci Mane, OJ, and 50 cent to boost my inner “Streetz LaFleur” and post like a gangsta!

Trust Issues –
As I touched on earlier in this blog, we get our knowledge from past experiences, along with the first hand accounts of these crazy situations. I can tell you that many of the emails we receive don’t make our blog (we try to answer common questions in one shot), the stories I hear make me fall into cooch out of my chair! If I knew y’all like that and didn’t want to get fired from my real job you hear half of what a sex and relationship blogger hears from people seeking advice, you would become paranoid. How do you trust people when vows of marriage, relationships, friendships, and celibacy many other moral adjectives are broken easily. I give the side eye now more than ever, and because i have this experience, I can point out a suspect situation a mile away. Funny thing is, us bloggers STILL get into stupid situations with all our knowledge. Damned either way I guess!

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For all my bloggers in all areas, this one is for you. If you hesitated to express your feelings due to the above reasons or any other, then STAND UP!! This is for you too! Did I forget anything? Do you see these reasons as merely excuses? What are your experiences reading these blogs, writing them, and knowing people who write them? Let’s G chat.

Streetz <= FOLLOW ME


Comment(19)

  1. This may fall under the category of You Need More People but sometimes, if you mention your city/school/Greek affiliation in your blog, someone you know may find it without you telling them about it. They may not tell you. They may read for months. You may think they are quoting things directly from your blog. But then you convince yourself that you're paranoid. Not happy with that, you go their home/job and send yourself an email from their computer to get their IP address. Then you find out that you weren't paranoid and this bastard has been reading my damned blog for months and getting all sorts of useful information on me.

  2. You are so right….. there are so many times i cant blog about some things just cuz i dont want friends questionning me about it…like u wrote. I get people drawing conclusions about me based on what they read on my blog. it really does suck. i guess there's always a price to pay esp when u compromise your anonymity in blogging

  3. When I started off blogging, I blogged about EVERYTHING but mainly sex and past relationships…… I never thought anything of it because I never planned to share it with my family and friends…. I wanted to keep my real life and Internet life completely separate…. Those who've read my blogs and who I've talked to on the blogs prolly know more intimate things about me than my family does.

    I met my S.O after I'd gotten deep into blogging and after we were together for a while, I shared.

    It caused some conflicts initially….. and out of respect for him (even though he didnt' say anything), I won't blog about sexual things… I would just hate for him to read it. It's filtered me, but when you want to keep a relationship running as good and smoothly as possible, you make some changes!!!

  4. I always get freaked out when I find out that people I know read my blog…even though I want (and kinda expect) my friends to do so. It's a struggle I guess because you have to draw on your own experiences – and those of everyone you know – to be authentic, but for me i often embellish/downplay/tweak things to fit the post, only to find that my friends are taking it as gospel and feeling a way because of it.

    I do find myself thinking twice before I write about a topic or phrase things a certain way because I'm always worried that some ex is gonna think I'm talking about him…I have had the unfortunate experience of being told off by men I've written about for being 'one-sided' or inaccurate in my writing. Luckily those men have since stopped reading my blog and I'm free to trash them to my heart's content. Just kidding!

    Ultimately though I think non-bloggers take it too seriously…it's not as deep as they make it out to be. If you want to know how I really feel about something, how about actually asking me instead of looking to my blog to fill you in? Isn't that a novel idea?

      1. LOL no i just mean that in my experience people are viewing my blog as some kind of passive-aggressive way of me telling them how I feel when in reality it's just a blog.

        I definitely don't think readers should look at blogs as fiction, but for me my posts are some of my thoughts on an issue, not the sum total of my thoughts on the matter.

  5. @Ms. Smart that's well said. Mr. Streetz, there may be a chick out there that might like you and reads you RELIGIOUSLY, thinking she has the entire book on you. You may know her, you may not. But the next first date you're on, if shorty starts reciting your SBM posts like the gospel, that's her! What happens when that happens?

  6. i blogged about a lot of relationship issues when my blog was private. the second i made it public i erased posts that were too "revealing" and i changed the focus of my blog. i'm entirely too personal and i'll go with "real life conflict" as the main reason why i don't blog about relationship stuff. i would say that about 80% of the readers that read follow my blog know me in real life. thats too close to home. i'll just stick to blogging about randomness. lol

  7. Yes indeed at the conflict…hard to keep up anonymity…I know that a couple of "he's" in my life have read my blogs…because there is a change in behavior right after a particular post…

    I mean, in a sense, I am giving them a guide on courting me.

    And let's not talk about family and friends…I really don't need my brothers or sister reading my blogs about sex…for all intents and purposes they think I am still a virgin! lol

  8. dead on.

    lol.

    my current SO has banned me from talking about him or his fam. Even the most vague mention of us is cleared with him first and has caused many a um, discussion when I insist he be mentioned for story's sake. he'd rather just not exist in my blog world– not even the good stuff. dang shame because he's the most colorful person I've ever dated.

    i change names and descriptions as much as possible (if it doesn't affect the character/story) so that people will only recognize themselves. but sometimes other people pick up on it. sorry.

    my favorite thing now is people i know who don't tell me they read my blog, but then say things to me that i've never told them… hmm. that and strangers, who in a well meaning way, will see me in public, call me by my blog name, then tell me random, crazy ish or ask me about some intimate detail of my life like they know me.

    it's funny, but weird at the same time.

    and uh, yeah. the stuff people confess to me makes me real wary of humans in general. LOTS of scandalous folks in the world.

    oh, and the other thing– people who know me, read the blog and I know read the blog will talk to me about "Belle" like I'm not her. I've become a character.

  9. Back in the day when I used to blog on MySpace I had a guy tell me one of the reasons he didn't want to take things to the next level was because I talked about our relationship to much on the internets. I responded by writing a post about the sitchu lol…

    I was truly pissed. One… I had only every written one blog about him and that blog was just a post of the lyrics to a song that reminded me of him (Beyonce's Kitty Kat). All the blogs he thought were about him were not. Two… my blog was private. The only people who could read it were my girls and like two of my homeboys that I confide in regularly so it wasn't like these weren't people who would know what was up anyways. I used the blog as more of a journal than a place to put nuccas on blast. Three… this fool didn't even have a MySpace page, meaning that he had to have used one of our mutual friend's login to go check it out. Can we say PRESSED?!?!

    I'm annoyed all over again just thinking about it…

  10. LOL & smh @William H. Strafe & @streetz I guess I'm ur #1 stalker being that I follow (twitter), we're fb friends & I read the blog. Hmmmm, I guess u'll be hiding next time u see me lol, jk, jk.

    I'm a non-blogger & part of the reason I don't blog is bc I feel that it definitely becomes a bit too personal, esp if u blog abt sex & relationships. These days there's like 2 degrees of separation btwn folks & I don't wanna date a guy and he finds out I blog and reads my ish. Too much, I value discretion. Shoot I can hardly tell ppl I have a twitter page. Usually when a guy I'm dating asks if I'm on twitter I say "nah I don't do twitter", knowing full well I tweets lol. I just feel like it's too personal & I don't like ppl questioning me abt things that aren't their business. And I don't even pleace that much info on my personal life onto twitter. Esp info abt where I'm at or what area I work @, it's too much. U never know, got alotta crazies out there, I'm just hoping the guys I date that are on twitter, don't eventually find me on there lol, esp w/ my damn near 3,000 tweets, then I'll b the "lyinassb*tch" they can't trust, lol. Ah well, it is my business after all. So no blogging for me. As far as dating a blogger…. Idk, depends I guess.

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